“You strike me out and I’ll shove that baseball straight up your ass!” Shauna declares, pointing the bat at one of the harpy guards who was assigned to play the role of “human” today.
“All right, Shauna,” Greg says, stepping forward. “Let’s pause there. You’re once again crossing the line between spirited competitiveness and threatening someone’s life and/or well-being.”
With Cassie gone, Greg has tried to step into her shoes. All things considered, he’s not doing a horrible job. But he’s not doing a great one either.
Tina must agree, because she stands and strides toward Greg. We’ve been sitting on the sidelines watching as Greg tried to stumble through a lesson on baseball, which is pretty difficult when no one knows the rules and we’re indoors.
Cassie thought it would be a good idea to introduce the supes to an all-American gathering…but apparently she didn’t know baseball is an outdoor sport. It’s really hard to play baseball when your entire facility is underground. Greg had moved the class to the gymnasium, but he’s still in a panic, mostly due to the fact that Cassie’s notes for the class are complete crap.
She wrote:
Baseball. Who’s on First? Take Me Out To The Ballgame? Everyone kisses on first base? Take your shirt off at second? This sport is so racy! Bring crackers and Jack-o-lanterns to give everyone when the song starts.
In the bag of stuff she brought to go with the lesson was a single winter glove, a box of wheat crackers, and little plastic jack-o-lanterns that she must’ve had to really search for since they’re way out of season.
Sometimes the depths of Cassie’s cluelessness and ingenuity actually impress me.
Greg decided to start things off by teaching everyone “Take Me Out To The Ballgame.” I could’ve told him getting this crowd to join in a sing-along was a losing task, but bless his heart, he gave it his all.
When Tamika suggest they just play the dumb game, I think Greg was too worn out to resist. He just shrugged and said, “Okay, fine, whatever.”
Tina approaches him and he looks at her like she’s an angel come to save him. “Hey, want me to work with Shauna one-on-one?” she asks. “Vampires are naturally competitive, so I have some tips to help her keep her edge without, you know, losing her temper.”
“Um, sure.” Greg nods and waves Shauna Tina’s way. “Just have Mavis oversee, since you’re not an official employee.”
We move into the locker room. Tina closes the door while Shauna glares.
Deciding not to waste any time, I just say it. “So are you in or not?”
She glowers at me. “How do I know you’ll do what you say and help Kit get out of here?”
I’m ready to swear on my father’s life (and really, really mean it) but Tina steps in. “Why are you so dense? Without Mavis, your brother is dead. D-E-A-D dead. If you want him to have a chance you’d better ovary up and get on board.”
Shauna studies her. She’s just under five feet tall, but she has a presence that fills the room. “You a fae?” she asks Tina.
“I’m a…” Tina sighs. “I’m a Moggy. Half vamp, half all of the things.” She flashes her fangs. “You got a problem with that?”
“Not at all,” Shauna says. “Unless you were human…”
“Gross. No. Humans suck,” Tina says.
Shauna laughs. “Damn straight.”
“Look, I hate to interrupt this bad bitch bonding experience, but we can’t stay huddled up forever—”
“I’d love to show you what I can do,” Shauna tells Tina suggestively, totally ignoring every word out of my mouth.
“If you’re quite done eye-shagging each other,” a new voice says, “perhaps we should get on with it....”
“Trevor!” I snap, spinning to look for his ghostly figure. I find him floating in the corner behind me.
He wafts into the light, sheepishly. He’s supposed to stay in his own cell, but he’s a ghost so he travels between the walls. He can’t leave UWR though, not with his collar on. “I was just passing by...”
“You mean spying,” I say.
He tilts his head. “Tomato, tamato,” he says in his British accent.
He’s cute in a ferrety kind of way. He’s also a total dirtbag. I’ve heard tons of stories from his time trying to win the god contest at Amazon Academy. He actually backed Zeus and then tried to help Hades turn Earth into a hellscape.
“Can I join your little team?” he asks eagerly.
“And why would I…?” I begin, but he interrupts me.
“Look, I can walk through walls. You need me.” As he talks he fades in and out of focus. “Also, this place is sooooo boring. I don’t eat. I don’t sleep. I can’t wank. I want to do something.”
“This isn’t a field trip,” I tell him.
“Let him come,” Shauna says suddenly. “He can be helpful, and my brother’s life is on the line. We might need him.”
I nod. He has a point. Having someone who is incorporeal on the team might come in super-useful at some point “Okay. But Trevor, I’ve read your file. Double-crossing teammates is kinda your thing. If you try it with me, though, you won’t be a ghost cooling your heels here. You’ll be totally dead and gone—all the way down to Elysium. Got it?”
“Anything for a moment away from this place,” he tells me.
“And I can’t just let your brother go, either,” I tell Shauna. “But I can fight for him. Get him somewhere long-term. Get him help. Keep him alive.”
“Fine,” she nods. “I’ll do it. For Kit. Now what’s the plan?”
Two minutes later we rejoin the rest of the group. Shauna is giving me the evil eye because I refused to give her any details other than, “We’re gonna get you out. We’ll tell you everything else as you need to know it.”
At least Tina backed me up on keeping our prisoners in the dark about the escape plan. My thinking was that if they decide to rat us out it’ll be easier to say they’re making it up if they don’t have exact details. Tina, on the other hand, said, “It’s so half-assed, it’s not exactly going to inspire confidence.”
We settle back into our seats to watch as Greg tries to teach them the wave.
Griff the bear sits in his chair refusing to move. Shauna gets into it, her pink hair bouncing with her each time she jumps from her seat and flings her hands into the air.
Tamika raises her hand. “I don’t get this. Why is this a thing?”
Greg frowns. “Baseball? Or the wave? Or…”
“All of it!” Tamika throws her hands up. She turns to look at me, right on cue. “Mavis, I want to talk to you about being reassigned to a different reform class. This one is useless.”
“Of course,” I say smoothly. I gesture toward Tina. “Why don’t you come along?”
“I will help you defeat Hermes,” Tamika immediately tells us when we’re out of earshot.
“Mavis didn’t have to twist your arm too hard,” Tina says, eyeing the witch. “You do know this will be dangerous, right? What are you getting out of this?”
Tamika tugs at her collar. “Anything to get this thing off my neck. I can’t do anything. All my powers are gone. It’s like I’m a human, how disgusting.” She wrinkles her nose at the thought.
I feel like I should defend humans, but I don’t have it in me right now.
“And yes,” she informs Tina archly, “I do know this will be dangerous.
Those harpies take their jobs very seriously. They’re not going to let us go without a fight.”
Tamika was killing humans and performing blood magic, making bank off of rich ladies who wanted to look younger. I marked her as no parole during intake because she lacked even a drop of remorse.
“Does that mean you’re in?” I ask. She said she was, but now... “Or out?”
Her lip curls in disgust. “In. I simply can’t go through life as a human. Though to be honest, I think you’re biting off way more than you can chew with this whole break out of prison idea.”
“That’s why she has me,” Tina interrupts. She smiles, showing off her fangs. “I’ve got a big bite.”
The witch rolls her eyes in response. “How charming. Just don’t be surprised when you end up with knives in your back. Especially with that one out there.” She once again wrinkles her nose as if she smelled something bad. “Shauna, that bitchy little pixie. I wouldn’t trust a fae any farther than I can throw them.”
“Well, it’s a good thing she’s so small then, isn’t it?” I ask.
It’s easy to get alone time with Griff. We come back out to find him throwing baseballs straight into the walls. They sink into the cement like it’s still wet.
“Mavis,” Greg says in his ‘help me’ voice.
I jerk a finger at Griff. “Come on, big boy. Locker room talk.”
Griff follows us and leans against the lockers with his arms crossed.
The dude is big even when he’s in human form. He’s at least two hundred and fifty pounds, all muscle. His wild hair nearly brushes the stained ceiling tiles.
Tina sniffs. “Ugh. You definitely have the smell of a bear shifter.” She throws a glance my way. “We can get him scheduled for his yearly bath before we break out?”
“Play nice, Tina,” I mutter. But Griff doesn’t seem bothered. He just grunts and continues watching us with steely eyes.
“So Griff,” I say. “The last time I trusted you, you attacked Aphrodite and ruined your chances of ever getting out of here. Not a smart move, but as it turns out, that could work to your advantage. I could use someone big enough to rough up a god.”
“Hermes,” he interrupts, which for him is the equivalent of giving a full speech. He usually only communicates with grunts.
“Right,” I agree. “We’re going after Hermes. “We saw...White Tail,” I add and Griff grimaces, but something in his eyes softens. “I don’t know what she is to you…”
I wait for him to fill in that leading sentence, but he just continues to stare at me.
I try again. “I got the feeling the two of you were once close. Romantically…” Still nothing. I sigh and give it one last shot. “And now she’s under Hermes control. That must be difficult.” He stares at me with dead eyes. Finally, desperate, I say the one thing I’m pretty sure he can’t resist. “That’s gotta be hard. Real hard. You’re locked away for a long time. It’s a stiff sentence. Long, hard, and stiff.”
It is a truth universally known men cannot resist a dick joke.
And Griff is no exception. “Stiff,” he chuckles in a low voice.
“Okay, that’s enough of that,” Tina cuts in. “You’re locked away and it sucks bear balls. Are you with us or not?”
He grunts in a way that I assume means yes.
“So you’re in?” Tina asks. Griff starts to grunt, but she interrupts. “How about a yes or no in actual words. I don’t speak bear and I don’t plan to learn anytime ever.”
There’s a long silence and then finally Griff nods. “Yes.”
It seems like he might say more...but nope—that’s it.
And it’s good enough for me. Tina too, apparently, because she gives me a thumbs up.
Looks like we’ve assembled our team.