“Listen first,” I say, dragging a dummy to the flagpole with a giant American flag snapping in the wind. “Tina is going to demonstrate a few things.”
“Fighting a god is not like fighting any other supernatural creature,” Tina tells them. “They heal, so you need to incapacitate them. Hermes is a big baby when it comes to pain, so he came up with these contracts that mean any of the damage done to him hurts his employees instead.”
“That’s messed up,” Shauna says, and Griff growls his agreement.
“Really?” Trevor says. “It sounds quite clever to me.”
The rest of us all turn to stare at Trevor in disgust. He joined us last night, finding us with some sort of ghost GPS, I guess. Of course, having him show up with no collar immediately made everyone else start asking again for their own to be removed. I actually had to pull out Mr. Freeze to get them all to settle down again.
“Unless he had them sign in blood,” Tamika says, “the contracts should be breakable.”
“No blood,” Griff says in his gruff voice. I’m pretty sure it’s the first time he’s actually said words without prompting.
“You saw one of the contracts?” I ask him.
He grunts in the affirmative.
“And what did it look like?”
“Scroll. Many words. No blood.”
“Okay,” I say with a nod. “If it is breakable, I think there’s someone who would know how to void it.” I look toward Tina. “Merilee.”
“Good call,” Tina nods and then gets back to the topic at hand. “Once we find a way to neutralize those contracts, our next step is to put a world of hurt on Hermes.” She flexes her fingers, then demonstrates the best way to disembowel someone with your bare hands. Her filed nails, powered by freaky vampire strength, go straight through the dummy and into the punching bag, leaking sand onto the floor.
“Is it just me or does anyone else have a lady boner?” Shauna asks.
“I honestly didn’t know you were bisexual, Shauna,” Trevor tells her. Trevor and Shauna had a little bit of a thing, but it didn’t go anywhere, him being intangible and all.
Shauna shrugs. “Hot is hot.” She smiles at Tina. “And I can appreciate a bad bitch when I see one.”
“Who isn’t bisexual these days?” Mac asks. “Non-fluid sexuality is so medieval.”
“None of this matters,” I tell them. “We need to focus.” My head is starting to pound and I could really use another one of Themis’ pills. But with all these eyes on me, depending on my leadership, I feel like I shouldn’t pop a bunch of pills in front of them. It doesn’t exactly inspire confidence. “Tina, string up another dummy. Let’s see what they each can do.”
Tina stares at me. “I’m not your dummy bitch,” she tells me.
I sigh. “Please.”
She nods and mutters, “Why does your friend have all these anyway?”
“Mallory’s husband is like a prepper on steroids. When supes started showing up in the human world he set this place to train his own army.” To be honest, their cabin is beautiful if you like gleaming hardwood floors, Corian countertops, and charming gingham curtains and tablecloths.
Unfortunately, the ‘Pottery Barn goes rural’ effect is somewhat marred by anti-supe posters hung everywhere. There’s one with the old Ghostbusters logo and another sign that has Uncle Sam pointing at you and saying, I want YOU to kill a supe today.
And that’s without mentioning the training yard. Mallory’s husband, Donnie, had gone all out militia. There are dummies filled with sand for hand to hand combat, and pop-up targets of human outlines with targets on their chests. Except Donnie had altered their shapes so that they look like minotaurs, harpies, and werewolves.
Tina strings up the new dummy and I call Shauna up. “Okay. I’m going to deactivate your collar for this. Afterwards it’s going right back on.” I pat Mr. Freeze at my side. “Any funny business and I’ll shock your tiny pixie ass. Got it?”
“Sure thing, boss,” she says, giving me a salute.
I reach up and touch my bracelet to her collar. There’s an audible ringing, and the bright red collar goes dull. Thankfully, they can be reactivated from a distance. That way nobody gets their head torn off trying to press their staff bracelet to a crazed inmate’s collar once they’ve gained a taste of freedom.
Shauna cracks her neck and eyes my wrist. I can see the gears turning and I want to nip this line of thought in the bud.
“My bracelet doesn’t work without me,” I say loudly, so everyone can hear.
“If one were to say...rip off your arm…” Tamika asks casually.
“My bracelet only works for me. If it’s detached in any way, its magic is voided.”
“Whatever, we get it,” Shauna says. “Us lowlifes can’t steal your magic bracelet.” She unfurls her wings. “This feels fantastic!” She shrinks to her pixie form, making her about the size of a hummingbird. She zips around the exercise yard, high on her freedom.
“Let’s see what you can do,” I tell her.
She makes a beeline for the dummy’s head, shooting straight through like a bullet.
“Not bad,” Tina nods.
“That’s nothing,” Shauna’s pipsqueak voice informs us. She makes another pass, shoots into the dummy’s chest and the thing explodes. Pixies have the ability to not only expand their size, but to expand the air around them, creating some pretty big explosions when they want. She emerges in her bigger form and takes a bow.
“Are you not entertained?!” she yells.
Shauna will be very useful. Despite myself I begin to hope that this plan will actually work. “Okay, I’m reactivating your collar now, Shauna.”
“No!” she shrieks, turning back into a pixie.
“Shauna…” I warn.
“Fine!” her tiny pixie voice concedes. She gets big again. “I just need to…” Her face goes suddenly euphoric and she sinks to the ground.
“What just happened?” Tina asks.
“She’s high,” Trevor tells us, floating over to Shauna. She sits on the ground, giggling, then falls back and giggles some more. “She has some fae connection to BJ, so she can get these hits off of her. It’s like, pixie heroin or something, I guess. She told me when we were together.”
“That’s just great.” I touch my bracelet and reactivate Shauna’s collar, but it doesn’t make her high go away. “Griff, can you…”
He picks her up, carries her off to the side, then dumps her unceremoniously on the ground.
“Great start,” Tina says sarcastically. “Who’s next?”
“I’ll go,” Mac offers, sauntering over to me with a gleam in his eye. I’m not entirely confident in my ability to deny him anything he wants once I deactivate that collar, so I pull up a clear mental image of the last statue I saw of Hermes—anatomically correct, of course—and that makes me feel pretty confident I won’t be turned on for at least another couple of years. I put my bracelet to Mac’s collar and the color fades immediately.
As does every ounce of my willpower.
“You know,” Mac says, leaning in so that his breath tickles against my neck. “I always thought you were pretty damn cute. What do you say, Mavis? Wanna play prison? Do I wear the handcuffs or do you?”
Whoops. Mr. Smooth made a mistake. Just the mention of handcuffs drops me back into the dark dungeon at Mount Olympus Academy, scared to die…and even more scared that Hermes would show up again to taunt me.
“Nice try,” I tell Mac, giving him a push on the shoulder to put distance between us. He looks a little confused at first, but shakes it off quickly. He wiggles his finger at me with a smile.
“I’ll figure out what makes you tick,” he says.
“Mostly a well-ordered filing system,” Tina says, and I realize that she’s come over to stand next to both of us…and that her voice is lacking the usual bite. And that might be because her fangs have receded entirely.
I gape. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Tina without her fangs. Mac must have one heck of a pull on him to draw Tina in.
“Why do you two get to have all the fun?” Tamika says, running her finger along the edge of her activated collar.
“Huh?” I say. I mean, I’m not exactly a puddle anymore, but Mac is still having an effect on me. Like, English is hard.
“I mean it’s dry like the Sahara over here and you two look like you just—”
“Oh,” I say, cutting her off. “That’s part of your collar system. When you’re wearing them, you can’t work your own powers. But also, other inmates' powers won’t work on you, either. It’s a safeguard.”
“Could you turn mine off for maybe just a second?” she asks, still eyeing Mac. “I mean, it’s been awhile.”
“Tell me about it,” Mac says, and his eyes suddenly roll back into his head. He lets out a guttural groan and I’m wondering if he’s part seer, like Cassie, when a magnificent blue ball begins to glow between his hands. Mac’s face melts into pure ecstasy as it grows, then explodes, sending a jolt of electricity into the ground between Tina and I, leaving the smell of ozone in its wake.
Or...wait, that’s not ozone.
Tina’s perfect little nose scrunches up. “Smells like chlorine.”
“Sorry, everyone,” Mac says, suddenly back to himself, a smug grin on his face. “Sometimes a man just has to discharge.”
It’s Tina’s turn to gape. “You mean that was—”
“Sexual energy,” Mac says, and I quickly reactivate his collar before he can build up another charge. “I prefer to do that without an audience, but when a man has blue ba—”
“OKAY,” I say loudly, pushing Mac back into line. “We’ve seen what you can do.”
“Oh, you've seen some of what I can do,” Mac corrects me. “I’ll break through that reserve of yours someday.”
And I have to admit that maybe he will, but right now I’m more interested in his blue balls. “Can you direct that…that…emittance?”
“Wherever you want it to go,” he says, with a wink.
I eye the charred ground in between Tina and me.
“Noted,” I say. “Next?”
Tamika steps forward, and I deactivate her collar.
“Show us what you’ve got,” Tina says.
Tamika shakes her hair out. “Fine, but first I’ll need some virgin’s blood.” She turns to me, gives me a once over and then wiggles her finger. “Come here.”
“Hey!” I say, my cheeks flushing hot. From the sidelines, a deranged cackle comes from the still-high Shauna.
“Oh! A virgin!” Mac’s eyes flash. “You don’t see many of those these days.”
“They’re out there,” Tamika says confidently. “You just have to know where to look.”
“Catholic schools?” Tina asks.
“Not even,” Tamika laughs, then comes closer to me. “Just…a…drop…” she says, and slips her fingers into her mouth. I make a face wondering if her power is fitting her whole fist into her mouth. That would be less than impressive. But then her hand comes out of her mouth and there’s a quick prick in my arm. I look down to see that Tamika’s got a needle, and has drawn a bead of blood from my wrist.
“Hey!” I say again. “You had a needle in your mouth? What the hell? The harpies didn’t catch that?”
Outwardly, I’m angered. Inwardly, I’m adding this skill to Tamika’s resume.
“That’s not all she’s had in her mouth since she got to UWR,” Mac says.
“You’re not the only one who can practice sex magic, incubus,” she tells him. “But I much prefer to work in blood.” She slides her fingertip across my wrist, smearing the blood onto her finger. She writes a symbol in my blood on her arm.
“Your turn,” she says, turning to Tina with confidence.
“Um, your virgin radar might be a little off, Bellatrix,” Tina says, but Tamika lunges at her, murmuring a spell under her breath, and slipping her bloodied fingertip into Tina’s mouth. The vamp’s fangs erupt like she’s going to bite, but the first drop of her blood hits her tongue and Tina can’t help but suck on Tamika’s finger like a little baby.
Shauna makes a sad little mewling noise and at first I think it’s because she’s fallen for Tina and is jealous. Then I remember she’s also half vamp. Shit.
At UWR we give the baby vamps an IV drip of blood mixed with Quik Powder. The powder is something that witches invented right after Zeus died to keep humans from starving in the chaotic aftermath. But then someone found out that it also worked to keep vamps full and blunt their appetite when it was added to blood. I bet Donnie has some in the house, but it’s unlikely he’ll have a vat of blood for me to mix it with. I may have to convince everyone to donate a little bit to the cause.
“That’s enough, Tina,” Tamika coos as she slips her finger from Tina’s mouth and steps back. We all shriek.
Tina’s hair has gone gray and brittle, her skin hangs like old wallpaper on her bones, and her boobs are knocking somewhere around her belly button.
“What?” Tina asks, her eyes going from one of us to the next. We all look away.
“Um, it’s uh…nothing,” I say, taking a few steps back. “You’re just—”
“Fugly,” Mac says. “Like really damn ugly and…” His face screws up in distaste. “Old.”
“WHAT?” Tina shrieks, and I turn to Tamika, hand on Mr. Freeze.
“Fix her,” I order. “Now!”
The last thing I need is Tina losing her shit. She’s on my side with this insane squad idea…but just barely. Vampires never have to worry about getting old. Born vampires basically reach twenty-five and then stay that age until they get killed. I’m sure Tina hasn’t given the first thought to things like Botox or a tummy tuck. And if she gets a glimpse of herself as she is right now, well… I might be the only one in charge of this circus.
After she kills Tamika, that is.
The witch rolls her eyes and snaps her fingers. Tina’s locks go back to black and green, her skin snapping back to her high cheekbones so quickly that it rocks her on her feet.
“Disguises are my specialty, but there’s lots more I can do, just so long as you keep the blood flowing.” Tamika smiles in a way that makes me nervous. The witches at MOA were goody-goody types. Wholesome and very into healing and making things better. Tamika is clearly a totally different animal.
Tamika nods at me.
“Fair enough,” I nod back, swallowing my misgivings. But I can’t stop nodding. I realize that my head is still moving up and down right at the same time I see that Tamika’s is, too, like we’re doing some kind of weird dance together.
Wait…not just together. We are completely in sync.
Tamika puts one arm out, and begins humming the Macarena. I follow suit…except I’m not following her at all. Just like with the nodding, I’m moving exactly when she moves. My other arm goes out along with hers, then crosses over my hips.
“Hey!” I yell at Tamika, who is now fully singing the Macarena, and smiling widely at me. I’m pissed, but I’m smiling too, and…oh shit. I’m singing.
Beside me, Trevor yells, “Heeeey! Macarena!,” claps, and does a mid-air spin in time with the two of us as we launch into a second round. I have no choice. I’m dancing and smiling, singing right along with Tamika…who I now realize is controlling me through some kind of blood magic.
“I kind of hate you right now!” I scream at her.
“Heeeeeeyyyy, Macarena!” Shauna joins me and Trevor, her pupils tiny pinpricks as she shimmies off her high.
“I swear to the gods,” I seethe at Tamika, right before we launch into a third round. “I will—”
But I don’t get the chance to threaten her with Mr. Freeze, or anything else. Tina steps in.
“Okay, okay,” she says, tapping Tamika’s shoulder. “We’ve seen what you can do. Now let Mavis go.”
Tamika lays her finger beside her nose and I follow suit, but her control of me evaporates a second later.
“Sorry, I didn’t know you had a soft spot for the shifter,” Tamika says gruffly to Tina.
“More like, I effing hate the Macarena,” Tina says. “So STOP!” she screams at Trevor and Shauna, who are still going at it. “And Mavis, you can stop picking your nose.”
“What? I’m not—” But my finger is still next to my nose, right where Tamika left it. I snap my hand back down, blushing and ready to change the subject.
“Trevor, we know what you can do,” I say. “Moving through walls will be super useful for recon. Have you got anything else?”
“What? Like this?” Trevor asks, and then he’s gone. Not like poof and a puff of smoke, or fade out. He’s just…gone.
“I’m still here,” a disembodied voice says. “I’m just invisible.”
“Nice,” Tina says. “That will definitely come in handy.” Her brow suddenly furrows. “But do not think, for one single second, about bringing your invisible ass anywhere near me while I’m sleeping—”
“Or any other bed activities,” Shauna says, offering Tina a fist bump.
“Okay, okay,” Trevor says, coming back into his normal, slightly-see-through self. “I may be a villain, but I’m not a perv, guys, geez.”
He can’t blush because there’s no blood in his body, but there’s definitely embarrassment in his voice.
“It’s cool, Trevor,” I say quickly. “Being invisible and moving through walls are great skills. You’ll be the best spy in the history of the planet.”
“Yes, I suppose so...” he says, but still sounds down. “It’s just I’m still gutted over the loss of my water powers that came with my fae bloodline. I always thought I’d do something amazing with it someday, create a hurricane or some such thing. But when I died, that died too.”
“Control over water?” Shauna says, then blows a series of very wet raspberries, spraying spit all over her own face. “Water sprites are assholes. I like you way better dead, and I mean that.”
Trevor brightens up, literally. The area around him starts to glow. “That’s rather good of you, Shauna,” he says. “Perhaps we ought to work out our differences,” he smiles.
“Nah, I’m good,” Shauna tells him. “I’ve moved on. We can stay friends.”
“Friend zoned,” Mac says, whistling low. “That’s tough.”
Trevor forces a smile. “Right-oh. Cheers.” With that he once again disappears. I’m very done with this conversation and ready to have my fellow shifter show us his stuff.
“Okay, Griff?”
I turn to the bear-shifter, but apparently he’s a self-starter. Instead of waiting for direction, he just went ahead and got started. Even with his collar activated, his strength is intense. The entire line of dummies has been pulverized, and he’s standing in sand up to his knees. I’ve seen the damage he can do after shifting into his bear form, but it’s good to know he’s useful in his human form as well.
“Good skill,” I tell him, just as Shauna crawls over to him, gleefully rolling onto her back in the sand, whipping her arms up and down.
“Look everyone,” she cries in delirium. “I have wings!”
“You had wings before,” Trevor says, his disembodied voice coming from somewhere to my left.
“Dumbass,” Tamika adds.
I lock eyes with Tina. “Let’s go get Cassie and find out what happened to our siblings.”
“What could possibly go wrong?” Tina asks.