TO HIS SURPRISE, Logan enjoyed the reception, though it was usually the time at weddings when he started coming up with excuses to leave. He smiled at Cyndi when she trotted up with a curious expression.
“Can I look through your camera?” she asked.
“Sure.”
He crouched and held his heavy camera up to her face. She didn’t wiggle and take a fast look before dashing away. Instead, she stared intently through the viewfinder.
He put her hand on the lens and showed her how to focus it on distant objects, a process quite different from the autofocus on her small camera.
“It makes things so close.” Then she giggled. “Momma is coming and I can see her big toe, just like my nose is right in front of it, except I need to keep changing the focus thingy.”
A few moments later, Jessica stood looking down at them. “Cyndi, they’re serving homemade ice cream. Both vanilla and chocolate.”
“Yum.” Cyndi ducked out of Logan’s arms and then turned to kiss his cheek. “Thank you. It’s just like magic.”
He straightened as Jessica smiled.
“I understand some of the science behind your fancy lenses, but I prefer Cyndi’s explanation. We can all use a little magic.”
Though he was more of a pragmatist than dreamer, Logan nodded. “I guess taking the wonder out of things would be a loss, especially at Cyndi’s age.”
Her head tilted in a questioning attitude. “But is it possible to experience wonder through a camera lens? I remember seeing that award-winning wedding photo you took in Venice—the one at sunset, by the water. It was hauntingly beautiful. But did you personally feel the enchantment and romance of the moment?”
“Photography is an art form,” Logan said. “I wasn’t part of the wedding. I was taking pictures.”
Yet it wasn’t entirely true. The groom had been a friend and Logan had taken the photographs as a gift. When he recalled the wedding in Venice, it was mostly as a series of images he’d carefully constructed...which probably proved Jessica’s point.
“That’s fair,” she said, mercifully oblivious to his inner thoughts. “I just think there shouldn’t be too much emphasis on recording the moment instead of living it. I know we’ve already discussed shades of this and I’m not trying to goad you,” she added hastily. “But about Cyndi, she’s fascinated with photography, which is fine, except I want to encourage her to have a rounded life.”
Logan was certain that he didn’t want Cyndi to live the way he did. He wasn’t even sure it was possible; she was too vibrant, the same as her mother. And the thought of Cyndi growing up and being alone... He released a harsh breath. Why was it okay for him and not for her? Or was his kind of alone the same as being lonely?
Music started, providing a welcome distraction. “How about living in the moment and dancing with me?” he asked.
“I... Sure.”
After setting his camera on a table, Logan drew Jessica onto the small dance floor brought in for the wedding. After a few minutes, he realized two things.
One was that she danced extremely well.
The other was that she was a perfect fit in his arms.
IT HAD BEEN a long time since Jessica had danced, but after a minute she loosened up. Part of it was Logan confidently swinging her around with perfect timing, sometimes slow, sometimes fast. One musical number flowed into the next and then another.
Eventually, the musicians took a break.
“Momma.” Cyndi ran over with another girl following. “I didn’t know you could dance. Can you teach me?”
“Sure.”
“Not now,” the second girl scolded. “We’re s’posed to play a game with Lena and Mike.”
“You’d better go play,” Jessica advised her daughter. “I can teach you to dance at home.”
“Okay.”
“Maybe she’ll switch her interests from photography to something else,” Logan said as the girls ran off together.
“Perhaps, but she’s particularly drawn to art and there’s something intense about her fascination with cameras. Cyndi is curious about everything. Her extramural classes have included things like weaving and gymnastics. She also wants to learn about fixing computers, astronomy, cheese-making, woodworking and car repair. Most of it will have to wait until she’s older.”
“You didn’t mention crystals and geology.”
Jessica grinned, feeling mischievous. “She likes crystals, just as much as you like them.”
Logan’s eyes narrowed. “Excuse me?”
“I’m pointing out that you actually do like crystals. Have you forgotten what LCD stands for? Liquid crystal displays are heavily used in technology, including your beloved cameras. And what about quartz crystal timing mechanisms? Why is it so far-fetched that crystals might have a healing resonance if they can keep our clocks on time and help display pictures on a screen?”
He held up his hands in a show of surrender. “I apologize for every narrow-minded thing I’ve said or thought about your customers. They could be on the leading edge of innovations we’ll take for granted in fifty years.”
“That would be nice,” Jessica said, deciding to trust the sincerity she saw in his face. “By the way, I’m sorry for what I’ve said about you just recording experiences. If you were a complete emotional hermit, you wouldn’t have such good friends.”
“That’s nice of you to say.” He chuckled.
A waiter came by with a tray of goblets. She chose sparkling cider and saw Logan did the same. The table where he’d left his camera was free, so they sat down. Every couple of minutes she looked to where Cyndi was playing, to be sure everything was all right. It was instinctive. She couldn’t predict an asthma attack, but to be safe, she had an inhaler in her purse and Cyndi had one in her pocket.
After their break, the musicians returned and the drummer spoke into the microphone.
“Ladies and gentlemen, let’s keep the dance floor free for Chelsea and Barton’s first dance as husband and wife.”
Applause rose for the young couple. Chelsea looked shy. Her dress was charmingly old-fashioned with a fitted lace bodice. Her dark hair fell from the top of her head in a cascade of curls intertwined with rosebuds and tiny, sparkling crystals. In a dark suit, Barton looked uneasy but proud, and his face glowed with love for his bride.
“They make a nice couple,” Jessica said as the music ended.
“Yeah. I’ve always liked Barton, though Nicole and Jordan know him best since he’s their neighbor. That’s how Chelsea met him. She needed a place to stay when she started working at the agency and Nicole offered the use of her guesthouse.”
They watched as the bride’s dance with her father was announced.
“I never thought about it before, but it seems as if weddings are a chance to strengthen bonds between friends and family,” Logan said. “Kind of a neutral ground where everyone can put their differences aside to support the bride and groom. It probably doesn’t always happen, but it should.”
Jessica glanced at Logan. He understood more about people than he believed.
It had been too easy to see herself in Chelsea’s shoes during the ceremony, looking into Logan’s eyes as they exchanged vows. The thought terrified her.
Even if she changed her mind about marriage, Logan was the wrong guy...except for all the reasons he was right. His physical attractiveness aside, he was intelligent, decent, cared about people and had a sense of humor. He was also good with Cyndi, though it was partly because they’d bonded over photography.
Jessica reminded herself that Logan Kensington was also far too sophisticated for someone who didn’t wear designer clothes or eat in fancy places. He’d traveled all over the world and had hobnobbed with the rich and glamorous. As for his parents? They were pleasant, but she must seem pretty simple and limited to them. From Regina’s stories, it sounded as if they’d lived in most of the major cities across the planet.
They were retired diplomats, for heaven’s sake.
Besides, Logan wasn’t interested in being a husband and father, or at least that was what he’d always claimed. And she hadn’t seen any evidence that he’d changed his mind.
FOLLOWING THE BRIDE’S dance with her father, the dance floor began filling again. Logan immediately spotted a man heading toward their table with a determined stride, his gaze fixed on Jessica.
Not a chance, buddy.
Logan stood and held out his hand. “Shall we, Jessica?”
Her smile seemed strained, but she nodded. The approaching man seemed to recognize that his prospective partner was taken, because he stopped short of the table and disappointment filled his face.
Logan couldn’t blame the guy for wanting to dance with Jessica—she was a sweet armful. What he didn’t understand was his green-eyed urge to keep him away.
He pushed the thought aside for the rest of the festivities.
In the early evening, he and Jessica buckled a chocolate-smeared, grass-stained and smiling little girl into her booster seat and he drove back to Regen Valley. It was still light and the sun cast long, golden rays across the town.
“Thanks for ridesharing with us,” Jessica said as he pulled up in front of her house. She got out quickly.
“My pleasure.” Logan opened the back door, where Cyndi drooped, sound asleep. He unbuckled the belt, trying not to wake her. It had been a big day for a little girl, full of new places to run, people to play with and treats to eat.
Jessica held out her arms, but he shook his head. “Why don’t you bring the booster seat? I’ll carry her inside. Where do you want her?”
“The couch is fine.”
In the house he laid Cyndi on the sofa cushions, warmth flooding through him at the way she curled into a tighter ball. From the corner of his eye he saw Jessica smiling at her daughter.
Logan turned. Wisps of hair had escaped the clips and formed a shining frame around Jessica’s face. He’d never seen a more beautiful sight.
He leaned toward her slowly, so that if she didn’t want him to kiss her again, she could make a move to stop it. There were conflicted emotions in her eyes, but she leaned into him.
Her lips were soft and sweet and it felt utterly right to hold her in his arms. But after an interlude of deep, mind-spinning kisses, she pulled away.
Logan suddenly remembered Cyndi. He snatched a look at the couch, but she still seemed to be asleep.
“Sorry,” Logan murmured as Jessica half pushed him to the door. “I forgot she might see us.”
“That’s okay. No harm done. Chalk it up to spending the day at a wedding. Inhibitions get lowered by all the romance and music.”
Her reasoning was entirely plausible...and completely wrong. His feelings for her couldn’t be explained away. He just didn’t know if she saw him in the same way.
“Have a good rest of the evening,” he said. “I’m, uh, I’m not sure Cyndi’s dress will ever be the same.”
“It isn’t important—she enjoyed herself. In any case, kids outgrow their clothes with lightning speed and that one won’t fit her much longer.”
Since Jessica stood waiting to lock up, Logan couldn’t prolong the moment to explore the sensations flooding him. Strongest of all was the urge to ask if he could stay, have a cup of coffee, watch television, play cards...or even wash her car. Anything that didn’t entail him driving away.
As he turned toward his SUV, he heard the door close and the dead bolt slide into place.
Back at his house, Logan realized something—for the first time in his life, he knew he was lonely. Yeah, he was bad with people. But instead of trying to improve, he’d used his cameras to cover it up. He’d gathered his solitude around himself like a suit of armor.
What if he’d given his problems a fraction of the effort Jessica had made to become a better mother and person after her failed marriage? Maybe his father wouldn’t have faced an alarming biopsy without his son at his side. Perhaps his mother would feel she could call when she was worried or just wanted to talk. He might even feel remotely qualified to be the kind of husband Jessica deserved and the father Cyndi ought to have.
Logan went out the back door and headed for the rocky outcropping up on the hill. A rabbit, startled from its hiding place, shot across the overgrown path. Farther away, a raccoon paused to look at him and blinked, as if insulted that a human was intruding into his space. A Steller’s jay hopped lower on an evergreen and began scolding.
Higher on the hill Logan could see bits of Regen Valley through the trees. It was easier to think in the open air and he inhaled deeply.
Jessica deserved the best a man had to offer. So did Cyndi. A part-time husband and father wouldn’t cut it. It was possible that his disdain for domestic routine and following a schedule came partly because he’d never found someone worth upending his life for.
Maybe he just had to make a sincere commitment, not only to Jessica and Cyndi, but to being genuinely connected. He could take pleasure in his career, while putting home and family first. That was what his friends were doing. They enjoyed their work and were passionate about helping clients get good career opportunities, but the balance in their lives had shifted. And he couldn’t deny they had a newfound joy unlike anything he’d ever known before.
Logan’s breathing quickened at the thought he could feel the same way.
Life was about choices. He could choose to put Jessica and Cyndi first. It might have to be a choice he made every single day to be sure he didn’t fail them, but he could do it.
Still, Jessica also had to choose...and there was no certainty that she would choose him.