By NIKKI BROWN, a dental assistant and single mother of two. She was struggling to pay rent, student loans, car payments, and child care fees, so she and her kids moved in with her parents. She is going back to school to be a dental hygienist, which will pay more. She also sells Mary Kay cosmetics to supplement her income.
I come from a household where my mother and father were married—and are still married. I guess being a pastor’s daughter with two children from two different fathers, I sometimes get looked down upon.
I’ve only seen my daughter’s father in child-support court, and it’s “Can I sign my rights away?” My son hasn’t seen his father in years because he’s locked up now, though he calls sometimes. Before I even conceived my son, my mom told me, “He doesn’t love you. You’re so smart. You could go so much further.” I didn’t listen. I don’t want my kids to make the same choices I made. I want them to make better choices and have better opportunities.
Different girls at the church think I’m doing so well because I keep it all together. I tell them, “Honey, you have no clue.” Struggling every day and with things being so hard, I don’t want anybody to see that. But there can be nights when I’ll be in the shower, and that’s where I cry.
I feel like I’m on my way. I’m not going to let my circumstances keep me in a box. I work at the dentist’s office Monday through Thursday. Not working that one day allows me to qualify for food stamps so I can feed my kids. The last thing I want the government to think is that I want to continue to stay on benefits or that I want to extend my benefits or qualify for an extended period of time. It’s like, help me out so I can go to school, and while I am in class, I can know that there is child care.
I want to educate myself and I want to go further. I want my kids, when they get older, to be like, “Yeah, my mom’s that awesome hygienist. Go get your teeth done by her!” I want them to know that your mom did it, so you can do it. There’s no excuse. You can do anything. “Can’t” is not in your vocabulary.
That’s why I don’t consider myself poor, because I know if I continue to do what I’m doing, then I’m eventually going to get to be where I want to be. It’s just taking me longer. And that’s okay.