Jake’s warmth wrapped around Rose, more comforting than any blanket. It had been so long since she’d felt anywhere close to this content and she didn’t want to give it up. But she didn’t know how to keep it, either.
They’d been so young when they first dated, and when things got confusing and difficult, Jake walked away. Then she’d met Henry and almost married him - she was the one to walk away that time. It wasn’t as though there were many instances where she could say that yes, she stuck it out and knew with complete certainty that she knew how to make a relationship last through trials and hardship.
Jake stirred against her, Rose scrunched her shoulders and giggled at the feeling of his face buried against her neck. He growled, a low, possessive sound that rumbled against her bare skin and made her body react in ways she’d forgotten it could; his arm tightened around her waist, and he rolled her onto her back underneath him.
“Did I wake you?” Rose was almost breathless, and all he’d done was breathe and roll her over. She was in so deep with him that she didn’t think she’d ever need to come up for air.
“Mm, no. I haven’t fallen asleep yet.” Jake punctuated his sentences with kisses on her neck. “My brain is too busy.”
“Yours, too?”
Jake stopped his adoration of her neck and lifted himself to look at her. Concern marred his features, but his voice was soft as he asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”
Rose knew he’d let it go if she said no, but the truth was that she did want to talk. She needed to process everything in her head and the second-best way she knew how to do that was out loud, usually to someone else. She sure as hell didn’t want to leave his arms to go walk laps again.
“If you don’t mind listening to me ramble a bunch of nonsense until something clicks in my head.”
“I’d love to listen to you ramble.” Jake pulled away just enough to give her space to breathe. She adjusted herself to lean into him but stared up at the ceiling.
Rose was quiet, not sure how to explain the jumble in her head.
“Would it help if we had something to eat?”
“It’s like two in the morning.”
“So? Grilled cheese is easy and delicious. Want some?”
Her stomach growled. “I guess so,” she laughed.
“Let’s go.” Jake helped Rose untangle from the blanket they’d been under and led the way to the kitchen. “Have a seat,” he gestured to the table.
Rose padded to the little round table and took a chair. She watched Jake as he expertly maneuvered around the kitchen and fired up the stove for their sandwiches. It was a few minutes before she gathered the courage to say anything.
“I think I’m scared.” Rose stared at her hands and let the confession hang in the space. Jake didn’t say anything, his silence as he worked an encouragement for her to continue when she’s ready.
“My life has been such a mess for a long time, and I don’t know how to move through it. I feel stuck, and I have for a long time. While I was with … him, I thought I was happy enough. But is that really a thing? And I dreaded the wedding. I never imagined a big wedding, even as a teenager, so when it morphed from family and close friends into what felt like a modern attempt at a society wedding…”
Tears welled and Rose brushed them away with a hand.
“I couldn’t breathe. I kept telling myself that he was a great guy - and he is, really. He’s kind, sweet, and smart. But I could not figure out why I dreaded the wedding. That week of bonding at the family house was hell. I kept it hidden though - nobody knew how I really felt.”
Rose hadn’t wanted to think about that week, or the almost-wedding, since it happened. Henry, for all that he was the wrong man for her, had been confused and frustrated but never once had he blamed or yelled at her or shown any sign of anger.
Henry’s mother, however, had been a force to reckon with, blaming Rose for ruining Henry’s life and accusing her of all manner of awful things. Henry had apologized for his mother’s behavior as his father had pulled the screaming woman out of the living room of their previously-shared apartment.
“But it wasn’t until Megan asked me how I knew Henry was The One that I couldn’t hide from myself anymore. I managed to come up with some lame answer, but the question woke me up. I spent the night before my almost-wedding rethinking every decision I’d made and wondering where I went wrong.”
Rose dared a glance at Jake. He was almost done with the sandwiches. He slid them onto plates, turned off the stove, and brought them to the table. He set the plates down and sat across from her.
“Did you figure it out?” His voice was soft, and Rose detected worry.
“The only thing I decided that night was that I couldn’t marry Henry. But I didn’t know how to not go through with it. Megan helped.”
Jake’s words were gruff as he finished a bite. “Thank God for Megan.”
“What do you mean?”
“If she hadn’t helped, would you have married him?”
“I don’t know.” It was the truth. She took a bite of her sandwich. “This is delicious.” She focused on finishing it, and Jake did the same with his.
He only spoke again after they’d eaten every last bite, and he took the plates to the sink. “I’m thankful as fuck Megan helped because it led you back to me. To being here, with me. And I will get down on my knees to any deity and thank them every day.”
“Oh. I…” Rose had hoped Jake felt something for her, especially after he’d confessed to still having feelings, but it was hard for her to get her hopes up. She needed certainty after everything she’d been through, but had no idea he’d be so sure of himself, so fervent. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Are you surprised I’m still in love with you?” Jake crossed the room to sit again and laced his fingers together on the table.
“I didn’t expect it. We don’t know each other as adults.”
“We can get to know each other.”
“What do you mean? Like, date?”
He leaned forward. “Rose, I swore to myself for years that if I was lucky enough to have you back, I’d do anything I could to keep you. Anything, Rose. If you want me to move, I’ll move. You want us to have fifty dogs and a house on a hundred acres and a sanctuary for animals - I’m there. You want to go the opposite way and move to a city somewhere else, tell me when and I’ll be packed in an hour.
“The only thing that time away from you has taught me is that I need you. I’ve been barely above water for the last decade. Then I heard your voice on the phone, and I took the first deep breath in years. And now that you’re here, I can breathe again.
“But everything is up to you. I know I’m coming on strong, and I don’t want to scare you, I just want to be honest and open. That was my mistake when I was a dumbass teenager who was afraid of his own feelings. My therapist helped me figure out a lot of shit, but mostly that I have to walk through my emotions, not run away.”
Rose had avoided his gaze, but that last sentence surprised her enough to look up at him. “You have a therapist?”
“Yeah, I’ve been going once, sometimes twice a month for the last few years.”
“That’s incredible.”
“Finally took your advice.”
Rose choked out a small laugh. “I forgot I’d told you that you need therapy.”
“Only once, and it was when I had my head up my ass. You were right.”
“Can you say that again into a recording device?”
He rolled his eyes. “Haha. And I know, I do, that I can come on too strong. I want to make sure you know that I love you, I will always love you, always been in love with you. But you need to know that the decision to give us a chance is up to you.”
Could she say yes to giving them another chance? She’d never loved anyone else the way she’d loved Jake. She walked out on her own wedding, not just because Henry wasn’t the right man, but because she’d needed to find out if Jake felt the same.
Her fear of rejection the last few months had been paralyzing to the point that she hadn’t once reached out. But here he was, promising her the moon and stars if she asked for it. Was it enough?
“If I say no? If I don’t want more than a few nights of sex and that’s it?”
Jake leaned back in his chair. “I don’t know if I can have you in my bed for any length of time and let you go, so I can’t promise a few nights of just sex. But if you don’t want to give us another go, then when your power comes back on, I’ll drive you home, make sure you get your car back, and leave you be.”
It was Rose’s turn to sit back. He hadn’t tried to argue or try to convince her to give them another shot. “That’s not what I expected you to say.”
“Rose, you should know that I’d never force you to be with me. That’s creepy and breaks a few laws. If you tell me you don’t want to be with me, I’ll find a way to deal with it. But I don’t think it’s what you want.”
She met his gaze, those green eyes full of certainty. “You don’t?”
“No, do you know why?”
“No.” It was the truth. How could he know what she wanted when they didn’t know each other anymore?
“Because you let me bring you to my house after you got the message that your power was out. You didn’t insist I take you somewhere else.”
“I did suggest my parent’s house.”
“Yes, and when we both agreed that wasn’t a good option because of that death-trap of a hill, you didn’t fight my idea about coming here.”
“No, I didn’t,” she said quietly.
“So, I’m going to ask the question outright so we’re clear on where we stand.”
Butterflies erupted in her belly.
“Do you want to see if there’s still something between us?”
She swallowed. “What would that look like?”
“We have a few days of being pretty stuck together. Let’s have a trial run. Let’s catch up, talk, spend our days together and get to know each other again. See if we like who the other turned into.”
“And our nights?”
Jake’s eyes darkened, and a muscle feathered in his jaw. “If you’re willing to give this a try, to see if there’s still something here, then I know what I’d want to do, but that’s up to you.”
Rose couldn’t think of a downside to his offer. A trial run relationship would have sounded ridiculous if anyone else had suggested it, but coming from Jake it sounded logical. They were trapped in the house for at least another day, why not take advantage of the chance? If it didn’t work out or they discovered they can’t stand each other anymore, then better to know now instead of years down the line, right?
If he could offer up his vulnerability, then she could do the same.
And spending the next night or two tangled up with Jake and exploring every inch of his toned body was the cherry on top of the metaphorical sundae that she couldn’t help but bite into.
“I would love nothing more than to spend the next few days with you.” She smiled at him. Her heart felt lighter as he grinned in return.
“And…I know exactly how I want us to spend our nights.” Rose was sure he could hear her heartbeat as she got up and moved to stand in front of him.
Jake started to reach for her hip but paused in midair. “What do you want, Rose?”
She nudged his legs apart with her knee and straddled his lap. His breath hitched and he gripped her hips as he looked up at her, hope in his eyes.
Jake.
Her Jake.
Rose brushed a hand through his hair. He closed his eyes, as if to savor the feeling.
“I want you, Jake. I want to know how we can make this work between us.”
“Rose, I—”
She put a finger on his lips, and he immediately obeyed the unspoken command.
“No talking yet. That’s for tomorrow, in the daylight. The sun is down, which means it’s not time for talking.”
He nodded. “And how are we going to spend our nights, Rose?” His voice was thick with desire, gruff and low.
“I’ve missed you, Jake.” Her words were barely above a whisper. She touched her forehead to his.
“I’ve missed you too, beautiful.”
Rose pressed her lips against his. She couldn’t stop the whimper that escaped as he threaded one of his hands through her hair to cup the back of her head.
Jake froze and started to pull back. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”
“No, it’s amazing. Do it again and more.” Rose gripped his shoulders and rocked her hips against him.
“Thank fuck,” he whispered as he cupped her head again and pulled her in for a crushing kiss. His other hand gripped her hip, guiding her to rock back and forth on his lap.
She rocked against him, her body on fire with need. It had been so long since she’d felt this kind of passion. Jake had been the one who coaxed her desire to the surface so many years ago. Now it was as though her body recognized him and woke up from a slumber. She’d never had this intense of a reaction to anyone else, only him.
Only Jake.
He broke away from her lips to kiss down her neck. When Jake got to the collar of the shirt she’d borrowed, he moved his hands to tug at the bottom. Rose pulled it over her head and tossed it on the table next to them, her breasts bare.
Jake stared at her, silent. Nervous something was wrong, Rose started to cover up, but Jake reached out a hand first. He brushed the back of his fingers along the outer curve of her breast and lifted his gaze to hers. His lips were parted, and there was clear need in his eyes.
“You’re so beautiful.”
She grinned and kissed him again, deep and full. He matched her enthusiasm; slipped his hands under her thighs. Jake lifted her ever so slightly, and Rose adjusted so she hovered just over his lap. Jake moved the hem of the borrowed boxers aside and waited. Every muscle in Rose’s body was tight and aching, and she throbbed with need. Need for him to fill her, need to chase release.
“Yes,” she whispered against his lips, rocking her hips to emphasize her desire.
Jakes’ reply was to brush his knuckles against her most sensitive spot. Sparks flitted through her body. She rolled her head back, eyes closed.
Jake’s hand disappeared as he kissed her exposed neck, soft and slow - with a flick of his tongue at each spot before he moved on to the next. His slow descent turned her into a writhing mess, bucking her hips looking for any kind of touch or friction.
Jake chuckled. Rose didn’t have time to ask what was funny because he slid his knuckles across her clit again and then down the center of her body.
He growled. “Fuck, Rose. You’re so wet for me.”
Every nerve ending on her body was on fire. “Jake.” It was all she could to breathe his name.
“Yes, beautiful?”
The steady pressure he kept on her clit combined with the teasing strokes of his fingers at her slit was an exquisite torment.
“Please.” Rose tried to slide herself onto his fingers, but he was too quick. She whined at the lack of him.
“Use your words, Rose. Tell me what you need.”
The growl of a command sent shivers up her spine. “You. I need you.”
“To do what?” A quick press against her clit as he asked the question. She whimpered. Her entire body was taut, and her control began to fray at the edges.
“I don’t know, I just need you.” The confession came out in a rush of breath and moans.
“You have me, Rose. All of me - every single piece of me is yours.”
She looked at him, at the honesty and desire mixed in his eyes. She kissed him, long and hard. Rose moaned when Jake finally slipped one, then two fingers inside and moved them in a tantalizingly slow circular motion.
“Fuck, beautiful. You’re so ready for me.” He moved his fingers in unhurried strokes. Rose ground herself against him, her body searching for more. More pressure, more friction, more pleasure, just more.
“That’s it, beautiful. Take what you need.”
Her breathing uneven, Rose buried her face in his neck, and dug her fingers into his back. Pressure started to build low in her abdomen, and Rose chased the feeling, rotating her hips with Jake’s ministrations. The pressure built and built until she thought her body would implode.
“I can feel you fluttering around my fingers, Rose. Do you want me to stop teasing your perfect pussy and make you come for me?”
“Yes. Please, Jake. I’m so close. Please,” she breathed.
Jake used his other hand to play with her clit again. Pleasure jolted through her body with every stroke of his fingers.
“Don’t stop, Jake, please don’t stop.”
“Not a chance. I want you to come all over my hand. You’re so fucking beautiful when you lose control, Rose.” He growled in her ear, “That’s it, yes.”
She cried out his name as her orgasm tore through her, pleasure radiating to every part of her. Jake whispered words of praise in her ear. “That’s it, yes, right there. Keep coming for me, yes, just like that.” He continued to tease out her pleasure with his expert fingers until her legs shook and she collapsed against him.
He kissed the side of her head. “Good girl.”
All but limp, Rose warmed at the praise. She turned to kiss him and caught the expression of awe on his face.
Rose could barely let out a chuckle. “That was amazing,” she said on an exhale, and sat up to rest her legs on his lap.
“You are amazing.”
Rose put her fingers under his chin to tilt his face up to hers and kissed him, long and slow. A kiss meant to convey her appreciation and give her body space to recover. The feel of his hands gripping her hips had the opposite effect. She wanted him again. She wanted to sink down on him and ride him until he called out her name and they were both spent.
Rose broke the kiss and stood. She slid the borrowed boxers off and stepped out of them. There was a feral grin on Jake’s face as he watched her every move. Her body again burned with need, and she ached to have him fill her.
“Take off your pants.”