They made quick work of the empty plates and settled on the couch.
Daisy had gone in search of water and then curled up on the couch again. She was close but not close enough to pet. Rose cooed at her but didn’t make any moves to pet her; she knew how important personal space was, even for dogs.
Rose claimed one end, a pillow propped behind her for comfort against the arm, her legs pulled up in front of her. Jake sat next to her and pulled her legs onto his lap.
“What’s your question?” He started to massage her calves, and for a moment or two, Rose forgot about anything else.
“Your hands are magic.”
“Another useful skill, you’ll notice.” Jake winked.
“Mm, definitely. It’s competing for top spot in my rankings.” Rose stifled a moan as he worked her sore muscles.
“What’s it in competition with?” His wicked grin returned. “It’s the tongue thing, isn’t it? It is, it’s the tongue thing.”
Rose pushed against his shoulder as he puffed out his chest. “You’re pretty cocky right now.”
He licked his lips, and then bit his bottom lip. “You have no idea, beautiful.” Jake pressed her leg against his lap; his cock was hard through his sweatpants. Rose’s mouth went dry, and she pressed her thighs together.
“But daytime is for talking, right?” Jake moved her leg back to where it had been on his thighs.
“Right, right.” The wetness between her legs disagreed.
“Your question?” Jake prompted when she was still quiet.
“Oh, yeah. Not to be a wet blanket, but — why only two other women? Most guys I’ve met have a higher body count. Not that there is anything to be ashamed of — it just surprised me, is all. You’re so…talented,” she choked on the last word. “I assumed there would have been more partners in order to get to that level of … anyway I’m going to shut up now.”
“Thanks for the ‘talented’ compliment. But that has more to do with the woman who inspires me to find new ways to bring her pleasure than anything else.”
Rose rolled her eyes but a secret thrill ran through her.
“I never had much interest in sleeping around, or in casual sex with a bunch of partners.”
“Okay. What was special about the two? Were they long relationships?”
“Not really.” Jake looked at her and then away, and Rose swore she saw a hint of pain in his eyes. “The first one was a few months after you left for school. All of my friends were telling me I had to get back out there and move on. And after the heartache and depression, I figured it couldn’t hurt. I met someone in one of my classes, we exchanged numbers, and went on a few dates before we slept together.”
Rose knew she had no right to the jealousy and possessiveness roaring in her head, but it was hard to control, nonetheless. She waited for him to continue, giving him the space he’d given her not that long ago.
“It was — not great. Not bad exactly, but awkward and clumsy and just — not great. We did go out a few more times and tried again, but she stopped returning my texts not long after.”
“Rude,” Rose’s mouth made the decision to speak before her brain had any input.
“Nah, I don’t blame her. We weren’t a good fit.”
“Hm,” was all she said. If it was this difficult for Rose to listen to stories about a couple of dates and bad sex, she couldn’t imagine how Jake must have felt when she broke down about the failures in her relationship with Henry.
He looked down and continued, his voice softer. “The second one was the only time I had a one-night stand. Not my finest hour.”
“You don’t have to tell me about it if you don’t want to, Jake.”
“It’s not that. I don’t mind sharing with you, and in fact it feels good to connect. That’s what we want this weekend or however many days we have to be, right? Honesty about who we are now, how we got here, and seeing if we can find a way forward together?”
Rose nodded. “But I don’t want you to feel obligated to share something painful that you’re not ready to talk about yet. That’s me being honest about who I am now, Jake.”
“Sharing my life over the last few years with you is not an obligation, Rose. It’s a privilege I take seriously.”
There were no words to describe how she felt. Rose pulled him down to her and pressed her lips to his. A quick kiss to express all of the emotion she couldn’t voice. “You are an amazing man, Jake, and I am lucky to know you, let alone spend any part of my life with you.”
Jake cupped his hand at the nape of her neck and pressed his lips to hers. It wasn’t frenzied or rushed, but deliberate and deep.
“I’m the luckiest motherfucker on the planet. I still can’t believe you’re here,” he whispered against her mouth. He kissed her forehead and sat up again. “Especially because I never thought I’d get a second chance with you.” He pulled her legs onto his lap again, but simply held them there.
“What do you mean?”
“I fucked up so badly all those years ago. I should never have walked away during that stupid fight. I knew it then, too. But I was so wrapped up in my own crap and fear of not being good enough for you combined with the insecurity of you going away to college and possibly meeting someone else…” He trailed off. “I couldn’t see that I needed to fight harder to keep you, keep us.”
“Oh, Jake. We were both young, stupid, and didn’t know any better.”
“I know. But then you left for school, and I heard that you were dating other people. I figured maybe I hadn’t meant the same to you as you had to me, but I could not get rid of the ache in my chest no matter how hard I tried. Then you were with Henry. The night I found out you were engaged was one of the worst nights of my life.”
“Jake, I’m sor—”
“No, don’t apologize,” he cut her off. “You have no reason and nothing to be sorry for. Not a single damn thing. Okay?”
She nodded and motioned for him to continue.
“I’d always known you were out of my league, and it looked like Henry was someone worthy of you. At least from the outside. With that ring on your finger, I believed you were out of my reach forever. I spent that night just sitting and staring at the wall.”
Her heart broke at the image. She reached for his hand and squeezed it.
“A week or so later, some of the guys from work dragged me to the bar and kept buying me drinks. It was their way of cheering me up. It didn’t work. Instead, I got shitfaced, hooked up with a girl in the bathroom, and went home with her.”
Jealousy flared bright and hot in Rose’s chest. She forced it down as he continued.
“She was kind, I think, but I never called her after that night. I didn’t want a reminder of my lowest moment, or of what led me there. I’d planned to be out of town for the weekend of your wedding, but plans fell through. That’s when we saw each other at the store.”
Rose remembered. It had been the catalyst to make her rethink everything she was about to do.
“I wished you well, and I meant it, but my heart was in pieces at the thought of you spending your life with another man.” Jake finally met her gaze. “But then you didn’t marry him.”
“No, I didn’t,” she whispered.
“And you’re here, in my house and my arms, and in my bed.”
“Yes.”
“It feels like a dream, and I hope I don’t wake up.”
Rose smiled. “It does. Being here with you” - she looked around the living room, clearly designed with comfort as the top priority - “it feels like coming home. For the first time in I don’t even know how long, I feel safe. I feel like I’m on solid ground, even if sometimes I’m scared it will fall out from underneath me if I say the wrong thing, or forget to pretend I had a good day, or can’t pretend I’m okay if I’m not.”
“You never have to hide any part of yourself from me. I’m sorry you felt you had to do that in the past with…others.”
Rose sorted through her thoughts before she spoke again, examining and deciding what to say.
“It wasn’t just romantic relationships, though. I’ve been making myself smaller in order not to be considered ‘too much,’ ‘too opinionated,’ ‘too loud,’ or taking up too much space, for years.”
“Why?” Jake’s voice was soft, not accusatory, or incredulous.
“I’ve been told over and over, in so many different ways, that I’m too ‘insert adjective here.’ Eventually it took a toll, and I learned I could only be my full self around certain people. Everyone else only got pieces of me, carefully curated to match their expectations.”
“I’m furious you were treated that way. You should never feel like you need to squeeze into a box made by someone else or create some alternate version in order to be more palatable for other people.” The sincerity in his voice was clear.
“I’ve been working on that. It’s hard to unlearn bad habits, so to speak.”
“Good. I’ll kick anyone’s ass that tells you some bullshit like that.”
Rose laughed. “You’d have been helpful against my first boss. But you don’t need to do that.” Jake opened his mouth to say something else, but Rose held up a hand. “My point is that I have never needed to do that with you. I’ve always been safe to be myself. I forgot what that was like, until you rescued me and Daisy over there from the blizzard.”
“Good. You are safe, and I never want you to be anyone except yourself.” He kissed her forehead.
“The conversation we had at the store changed the way I looked at what I was about to do, who I was about to marry and spend my life with. It was the catalyst for everything.”
Jake didn’t reply; he just trailed his hands along her calves, quiet again.
“What are you thinking about so intently?”
“Hm? Oh,” he laughed. “Uh, honestly, I was wondering how soon we can move your things into the house.” Jake glanced at her, his expression wary.
“You want me to move in? It hasn’t even been two days.”
“If I didn’t think it’d scare you away, I’d ask you to marry me.”
“Jake.” Rose didn’t know how to process what he said. “You’re that sure? Even though we’ve barely spent time together as adults?”
“Absolutely. You’re still the same person I fell in love with in high school, just more grown into yourself. Like an upgrade to the system, you know? The core of who you are and what makes you great — your kindness, intelligence, wit, humor — is still there, but with the extra bonus of confidence in yourself. Plus, you look damn good in my clothes and even better naked in my bed.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”
“Maybe, but it’s all true. Tell me you don’t feel the same — that no matter what happens, we’ll be able to get through it if we’re together.”
She couldn’t deny that she wanted to be with Jake, but there were other things to consider. Things they hadn’t talked about yet.
“Isn’t it too soon? We haven’t technically started dating.”
“I’d rather be too soon than too late. I don’t want to fuck this up again. I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me to.”
“I’m scared,” she confessed.
“Me, too.” Jake continued to massage her legs as he paused.
Rose didn’t know how to fill the silence, so she didn’t. But then Jake spoke again, and she couldn’t have loved him more if she tried.
“What are you scared of? Maybe if we talk about our fears, we can come up with a plan together.”
“You go first.” She didn’t know how to tell him that she was scared of him giving up on their relationship like he did before. It was hard to let go of the fear of him leaving if there was any kind of obstacle to their relationship. Or that she was scared of how unbalanced things were between them.
Jake took a deep breath before he answered. “I’m scared I’m not good enough for you. That you’ll wake up one day and see what I offer - a simple life without many expensive gifts and fancy cars, and you’ll decide it’s not enough.”
Rose pulled her legs off of Jake’s lap and crossed them in front of her before she reached for his hands. “I had that life already. I had the fancier car and the nice apartment and expensive meals and gifts. I was fucking miserable. I woke up and decided I didn’t want that life. What you offer is more important. You have more emotional intelligence than most people I know, and you have made me feel more cherished, heard, validated, and loved in the short time I’ve been here than any of my ex’s ever have.”
“You deserve everything, Rose. Even the stuff I can’t provide.” He looked away for a moment and wiped at his face.
“I don’t want a big, fancy, empty-of-emotional-connection life. I want you.” She kissed his hand and smiled at him. “I will remind you of that any time you need, okay?”
“Deal,” he replied. “Your turn.”
She swallowed. If Jake could be open and honest, then she could, too. “I’m afraid that you’ll walk away again. I know you’ve told me over and over that you won’t, but fear is irrational. And I’m afraid of losing myself in another relationship.”
“I’m going to address the second part of that first, okay?”
Rose nodded.
Jake leaned forward and pressed his forehead to hers. “I will not let you get lost. I see you and I love you, and don’t want you to become some automaton trophy. I’ll push you, challenge you, and hold you when you need me to. But I won’t let you get lost.”
Tears sprang in her eyes, and she fought to keep them from falling. She nodded, not able to form words. Jake pressed a kiss to her cheek before he sat up.
“Is there anything I can do or promise to make you less worried about me leaving?”
She’d known even last night that she wanted to trust him again, enough to spend a lifetime together, and had spent hours last night contemplating that exact question. It had kept her from sleep, which was why she’d slept in so late that morning.
Her solution had been a question of her own. “What do you imagine our life will look like?” Rose knew that if his vision of their life together aligned with hers, she had no room to doubt him.
“Well, a lot like the last day. But with some reality and disagreements and fights and working through it together. Like we’re doing right now.” He squeezed her hands. “What do you imagine?”
She beamed. “More of this, too. Everything you said. This house. More dogs, because we’re keeping Daisy, and a small wedding.”
Daisy looked up at her name, tail wagging. “Sound good to you, pretty girl?” Rose laughed when she yawned and went back to sleep.
He grinned back at her. “Easy, done. You stay, Daisy stays. Anything else?”
“Where do you fall on the subject of kids?” She was hesitant to share her own uncertainty about having kids. It had been a major pain point in her almost-marriage, mostly because of pressure from her overbearing almost-mother-in-law.
“I don’t really know, to be honest. I hadn’t thought about kids because I didn’t think I’d ever get married.”
“You didn’t?”
“If you weren’t going to be my life partner, why bother? Nobody else measured up.”
“Jake.”
He shrugged. “Just being honest. And that’s irrelevant now because you’re here. Tell me how you feel about kids. Do you want to have them?”
“I’m not sure, either. I think I’d rather start out having a bunch of dogs and revisit the topic later.”
“Solid plan.”
Relief flooded her body. “You’d be happy if it was just us and dogs?”
“I’d be happy if it was just you, me, and a cardboard box.”
She laughed again. “Okay, weirdo. But I need us to have dogs.”
“As many as we can responsibly care for. Plus, we can foster more.”
There was one dream Rose had kept to herself for a very long time, since she was a kid. An animal sanctuary. A large piece of land with different fenced areas for different animals, but especially dogs – the ones nobody would take a chance on, the ones people had given up on, the ones that went overlooked in the shelters.
Rose had voiced the idea once to her mom, who had almost always been supportive of whatever Rose wanted. But her mother had been so dismissive of the idea that Rose had never been confident enough to mention it to anyone else.
Until now. If she was going to spend her life with Jake, then she needed to know where he stood on such a large project. It would impact every other part of their life.
“How do you feel about creating a sanctuary for animals?”
“I’m in.” He didn’t hesitate.
“That was fast.”
“I’ve been working with the local rescues for a few years, and I’d love to create my own. Our own,” he amended. “I think it’d be a great labor of love for us to tackle and build together.”
That was everything Rose needed to know. They could work out anything else that came their way, together.
“Then, yes.”
“Yes?” Hope flared bright in his green eyes.
“I’ll move in, and I’ll marry you.”
Jake whooped and almost tackled her in his enthusiasm to kiss her. She laughed and wrapped an arm around his neck and the other on his face as he pressed her back into the couch cushion.
Then he pushed himself up. “Hang on. I’ll be right back.” Jake jumped over the back of the couch and disappeared.
“What just happened? Where are you going?!” She called after him.
“Don’t move!” His shout echoed from the back of the house. Jake all but ran into the living room, sat on the couch, and scooped her onto his lap.
Rose let him maneuver and settle her on his thighs and, once she was comfortable, asked, “What is happening right now?”
“This,” he said, and held up a small velvet box.
“How…how?” Rose couldn’t get words out as Jake placed the box in her hand. She managed to open it with shaky hands. The ring inside took her breath away. There was a round cut sapphire in the center, with a smaller baguette style diamond running along either side of the setting.
The unassuming elegance took her breath away. “Oh, Jake. It’s incredible.”
“It was my grandmother’s. She was a huge fan of Grace Kelly, and when my grandfather was ready to propose, he found as close of a lookalike to Grace’s engagement ring as he could. But he knew she loved sapphires more than diamonds, and he knew a jeweler through a friend of a friend who swapped out a diamond for the sapphire. Or at least that’s the story he always told.”
“He sounds like a man who really knew the woman he loved.”
“Pop loved her more than anything in the world. She told me once that nobody else on earth knew her as well as Pop did, not even her best friend Dottie.”
Rose cupped Jake’s cheek. “Sounds like you learned a thing or two from him.”
“Pop made sure I did. Before she passed, she gave the ring to me, and told me to give it to the girl who made me complete. I know you never got a chance to meet her while we were dating, but I told her everything about you. I think she knew I was a lovestruck fool who was going to marry you one day.”
Rose thought back to her own grandmother, and the cardinals she’d spotted in the bushes earlier. Maybe two particular souls were more responsible for the freak blizzard than Mother Nature was, after all. “I’m sorry I never met her, she sounds wonderful.”
Jake nodded to the ring, still in the box. “May I?”
“Yes, of course.”
Rose held out her hand as Jake gently extricated the ring and slipped it on her left hand. “It’s even the right size.” She kissed him, and whispered, “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Daisy woke up, stretched, and eased her way around the couch to sniff at Rose, and at the ring on her hand. The dog gave it a small lick and then kissed Jake’s face, tail wagging the entire time.
Rose’s phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out and laughed at the message on the screen.“My apartment has power again.”