I’m so angry, I’m vibrating.
I showed up for my session with Cecil after school, and this skinny lady with short curly hair and bulgy eyes and a yellow T-shirt that said Up with Life! stepped into the waiting area. “Henry Larsen?” she said.
“Yes,” I said.
“I’m Carol. Follow me.” And it wasn’t till I was trapped in her office that she told me Cecil was home with the flu, but I could talk to her instead. I said, “No, that’s okay,” but she just launched right in. She looked at my file, and then she said, “So your brother shot and killed a young man, then took his own life.… Right, I remember hearing about it on the news.”
!!!!
Then she started scanning through her papers, barely even looking at me, and when she did look up, she looked at my wobblies!! And she said, “Your file mentions that you’ve been putting on weight since this tragedy occurred. Do you use food as a comfort mechanism when you’re feeling depressed?”
!!!!????
My furies exploded. I launched right into Robot-Henry. “On My Planet. Wobblies Are a Sign. Of Status and Wealth.”
The expression on her face was priceless. Like she’d just swallowed a red-hot chili pepper.
“Why are you talking to me in that voice?”
“What Voice? What Do You Mean, Earthling? Explain Yourself or I Will. Zap You with My Ray Gun.”
She looked like she was going to poop in her pants. She started edging toward the door, and I couldn’t help myself, I started robot-walking toward her. “You Can Run, Earthling. But You Cannot Hide.”
Carol threw open the door and bolted down the hallway. I could hear her talking to the receptionist at the front desk. I picked up my backpack and walked out of her office. Carol froze when I entered the waiting area. “You Are. A Shitty, Shitty Therapist,” I said in Robot-Voice. Then I left.
Next time I see Cecil, I will make it crystal clear: I talk to no one but him.
He may be a dud. But he’s my dud.
Midnight
I can’t believe Cecil wrote about my wobblies in his file!!!!