XANDER

Writer’s Craft Journal

Xander Watt

March 11, 2016

REFLECTION: Of the writing genres studied so far, which one most appeals to you?

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Social Autopsies. You may not be familiar with this genre. We don’t learn them in Writer’s Craft. But maybe we should. I first learned about them in grade 9.

You may not have noticed, but I have a hard time fitting in. It was worse in grade 9. Back then, I had a lot of meltdowns. But then Mrs. O’Neill in the Resource Room taught me how to write a Social Autopsy.

It’s a dissection (just like a real autopsy), only this one does a postmortem on a conversation.

Conversation Facts

1. What is said often is not what is heard.

2. What is said often is not even what is meant.

3. People lie. A lot.

4. Even if they ask for the truth, most people don’t want to hear it.

No wonder conversations leave me so confused.

Mrs. O’Neill also used photographs of facial expressions. For example, in Social Autopsy #27 she held up two photos and asked, “Was your teacher looking more like this or this when she said, ‘Oh, sorry, Xander, am I boring you with this lesson?’ ”

I pointed to the expression most like Mrs. Brown’s. Mrs. O’Neill said that usually when both eyebrows are up it is a “literal question.” The person wants an answer. But that same question asked with one eyebrow up is a “rhetorical question.” One you don’t answer. Especially not with the truth. Especially not when it’s, “Yes, actually, Mrs. Brown, this is the most boring lesson you’ve given to date. And you’ve done a lot of really bad ones.”

Mrs. O’Neill told me that Mrs. Brown was being sarcastic.

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sarcastic

/sa:’kæstik/

adjective. using irony to mock or convey contempt. Snide.

Scornful. Smart-alecky.

I wonder why it’s okay for Mrs. Brown to speak sarcastically, but it’s not okay for me to speak the truth? Either way, that Social Autopsy taught me a few things:

Observations

1. Don’t yawn loudly in class. Even if you are bored or tired.

2. Don’t give feedback unless asked. Even if it’s something amazing that you think everyone should know.

3. If a teacher asks for feedback, 9 times out of 10, it’s probably a trick.

Conclusion

Seek clarification. Ask, just to be sure. Always.

Social Autopsies help me make sense of the illogical, things like Mrs. Brown’s moods, or group work, or even girls. I’m still dissecting that one—trying to crack the code. But Mrs. O’Neill tells me that even boys with the highest communication skills do not understand girls most of the time.

If that’s true, then there’s no chance I ever will.

Then Mrs. O’Neill asked me if I enjoyed our conversations, and I said yes.

“Well, I’m a girl,” she continued. “So, what does that tell you?”

I thought about that for a minute.

Observations:

1. Technically she is a female. Even if her hair is cut like my bus driver, Pete’s.

2. My mom is female. I like speaking to her.

Conclusion

I am quite comfortable speaking to middle-aged, overweight women.

But when I shared that insight with Mrs. O’Neill, something in her face made me think I should have asked for clarification first.

I do Social Autopsies on my own now. I even started collecting photos of sample expressions. Like the “you’re annoying” face. I get that one a lot. I know that one now without even looking at my face charts.

I’m more skilled with the Tank and more invisible. I have collected a wide range of expressions. But I don’t ask the subject for explanations (that usually leads to further Social Autopsies). Instead I take my photos to my grandfather at Pinehill Nursing Home. Grandpa Alex has Alzheimer’s and doesn’t remember me or our conversations, but he does know how to analyze expressions pretty well. I show him a picture and he defines the emotion: greed, joy, regret.

A group photo: “Angry mouth. Sad eyes. See how he’s looking at the other guy who is talking to that pretty girl? Jealousy if I ever saw it.”

A woman at the dinner table staring into space: “Tired. Sad, but bitter. Maybe vengeful. I’d say that poor girl got her heart broke.”

He knew all that, even if he never recognized his own daughter in the picture.

So, of all the genres, I most like Comics…but I most need Social Autopsies.