13

 

 

Beth shuddered, emotion like a glob in her throat. She gazed towards the trees and thought of the trip to Wildlife Safari with Aiden. At the recollection of “meeting the pack,” she suppressed the urge to howl. She felt their absence keenly and wished for the freedom to yell her longing.

“If I’ve learned anything by coming back home myself, it’s that God has a plan. And if Lakota or Aiden are a part of your purpose in His plan, things in your life will work out,” Moselle said.

Beth muttered her agreement, and gave the knob a twist. The cabin was locked up tight. Moselle climbed into Eric’s pickup, shutting the door as Beth jumped off the porch.

She couldn’t help but smile regarding the overkill of having two pickups. Her meager belongings fit in hers, where Rainn took the wheel. Had Aiden asked the muscular firemen to protect her?

On the drive into town, Beth let her gaze roam her area of vision. She checked every driveway and intersection, in case the crazy man lurked. She hadn’t thought to do that when they’d driven out to the cabin, but relied on the security in numbers to scare off Barton.

Why was she doing it now? She had no idea what kind of he-man vehicle Barton was even driving.

Enroute to the cabin, she had felt safe with friends. Friends who allowed her to stay above Frivolities in the loft. The women who owned the innovative business would have never dreamt of trusting Beth to live on their property a few short months earlier.

Thank You, Lord. For the people You’ve brought into my life, old and new. I don’t know what my future holds, but You do. So I’m in Your hands. And thank You, Father, for the courage to override fear. You helped me fight Barton behind Frivolities. Now, please, help me view myself as someone of worth. I want to see the value that You see in me.

 

****

 

Meandering through the comfortable loft Moselle had decorated, Beth jumped when her cell phone rang. She somehow managed to answer in a calm voice.

“Glad I caught you, Beth,” Pastor Rick said. “The elders and I met briefly after service yesterday. We don’t want your safety to be in jeopardy any longer.”

He paused, but she didn’t interrupt.

“You’ve done an exemplary job on the cabin. Won’t take much for the rest of us to finish up. And we wouldn’t enjoy the fruits of your labor at all if something happened to you.”

“Thanks, I think.”

“You’re welcome. We don’t want you alone out there, where you can’t even call on your cell phone.”

She thanked him for their consideration, and brought up his words from the past Sunday. They spoke briefly about the sermon.

“So you’re done hiding from who you really are?” Pastor Rick asked.

“I may have been hiding in the Lord’s presence, secluded in the woods. But I have realized how free I am in Christ. Free to be whoever He created me to be. And I’m safe in town now, here in the loft above Frivolities.”

“Good place to be. You’re well on your way to total healing, as long as you face that fear issue.”

“Have I been that transparent?” When he didn’t respond, she searched her soul for honesty. “I’m still working on it. Too bad I can’t carve the line into my heart that’s in my mind. I know faith and trust cancel fear. I know I own the freedom to never give in to my fears again.”

“You are human like the rest of us.” He chuckled. “You’ll be just fine. You have the best Advocate in the world on your side. See you next Sunday, Beth.”

I won’t be totally healed, free to be me, free of fear, until Barton is captured. For good.

The next morning, bright sunlight blazed through the windows that faced Main Street. Beth took another mug of coffee out to the balcony. She gazed west, caught a glimpse of the river in the distance.

The previous night’s phone call from Pastor Rick put the skids on her return to the cabin. What would she do with her day? Frivolities was closed on Mondays, so no one was scheduled to work.

Then she had an idea on how to pass the time. She gulped the last of the coffee and raced down the stairs to the office.

It was time to pursue what she was made of. She’d never had the chance to discover what she was capable of before she took on the cabin renovation. Working as a gas station attendant, or in a coffee shop, or bar didn’t qualify as giving purpose to her life.

If she meant to pursue the idea of becoming a child advocate, there was no better time than the present. She booted up the computer and searched the Internet for child advocate qualifications. Running down the list, she became more excited the more she learned. She could do this! No higher education was required, only forty hours of training for court-appointed special advocates.

The commitment covered a two-year period. She could handily find a couple more part-time jobs and work training around scheduled jobs.

Thank You, Lord. My life is in Your hands, where it has always been. For the first time in my life, I can say thanks for my background. You will enable me to make a difference in some little girl’s life. And I hope I can start with Grace, preferably outside the judicial system. But if she’s in trouble, I leave the details up to you. Please be with her wherever she is, right now.

When she turned to the printer for the pages of information she’d found, Deputy Bode Rau’s business card caught her eye.

Reality intruded. Where was Barton Littlefield hiding? Did the authorities know where he was hanging out? Was he lurking near Frivolities this very minute, waiting to pounce from another alley hiding place?

She refused to let fear of running into him keep her locked up, staring at four walls all day. Besides, didn’t a little fear mean she had feelings? Helped build courage?

She twirled the deputy’s card between her fingers; and gave a cursory thought to giving them a call for a status report. When she flipped it back to the desk, another card caught her eye. Aiden’s. She kissed the card and slid it into her shorts pocket. Beth folded the sheets of paper and shut down the PC and printer.

Just let Barton follow her. She was taking a drive.

 

****

 

Beth had parked the pickup where the noonday June sun hit the windshield straight-on. She gagged at the heat and the odor when she opened the door. What was that horrid smell? It brought to mind the cabin stench before she started cleaning.

She rolled down the windows to let in some air, as if more heat would do anything, and circled the hood. She yanked open the passenger door, irritated with the delay to be on the road.

The odor hit her again. A mouse! She turned to investigate.

Mouse droppings dotted the passenger seat and gear shift area. She spied a chewed up napkin on the console, along with a gum wrapper where she’d stuck a used piece of gum the night before.

She raced up the back loft stairs for cleaner and a rag.

“I hope the gum killed ya,” she muttered upon her return.

Sure enough. There was a dead mouse, belly up, on the driver’s side floor. It was either the gum in the gut or the heat index that did it in.

Wait till Aiden hears about this. Beth chuckled over the episode all the way to Lincoln.

She found herself distracted by the beauty of the day. The passing Nebraska scenery was in full summer splendor. Vibrant greens, swaying grasses, intermittent wild yellow and white flowers with verdant fields as a backdrop, soon pulled songs of praise to the Lord from her soul.

At a light on Cornhusker Highway, she checked the address on Aiden’s card for Game and Parks.

The parking lot was behind the building. On her way to the front door, she wondered if he was in. Surely he knew about Lakota’s whereabouts and wellbeing. She frowned in thought while striding towards the entrance.

She could have simply called.

If Aiden wasn’t in, would someone else be able to tell her about Lakota?

The glass door opened way too easy, giving her the feeling she was propelled inside.

“Well, look who’s here,” Aiden said.

The second she laid eyes on his precious countenance, she faced the truth. Lakota’s whereabouts was just an excuse. She had really come to see Aiden.

A wellspring of feeling gushed from somewhere near the vicinity of her heart, only to lodge in her throat. She finally managed a breathy, “Hi.” And hoped her smile took care of the rest of the greeting.

“What are you doing here?” He led her past the reception area to the elevator. “Not that I mind, of course.”

“To be honest, it was an impulse. I wanted to know about Lakota. But as soon as I saw your face, I knew I’d really come to see you.” The elevator door swished shut. She was acutely aware of the man standing beside her, the air rife with tension. She wanted to soak in the woodsy scent Aiden carried with him. The bell dinged and the doors opened way too soon.

His office was packed, but not junky. The orderliness suited Aiden. On the mezzanine beneath the window marched a collection of preserved creatures—armadillo, turtle, and giant bull snake. The taxidermy was well-done.

Her life was anything but orderly. Did she stand any chance for a future with Aiden?

He remained on his feet, shifting his weight.

She flashed him a smile. “Am I making you nervous?”

“Naw. I get antsy when I’m indoors, can hardly wait to get outside. I often grow restless.”

“It looks to me like you control the restless compulsion to be outside by holding your indoor world in rigid control.”

“When did you grow so philosophical? But you got me pegged. Everything is in its place. Logical, isn’t it? To have a place for everything?”

“I’d say it’s logical to give Jesus a place in our hearts.”

“Amen, sister.” They shared a laugh that visibly relaxed him. Instead of sitting behind his desk, Aiden took one of the two chairs in front. They sat with knees an inch apart. “So, how about that wolf report?”

“I don’t know who I think of more, or miss more, you or Lakota,” she admitted.

“Wolf competition. I’d like to think it’s me you pine for.” He took her hand, stroked circles on the back, giving her tingles. “Lakota is still recovering at Wildlife Safari. He’s in the kennel at Wolf Canyon.”

“Then I can go see him!”

“Beth, your care for that wolf really gets me. But I’m not comfortable with you going off by yourself while Littlefield is running around.”

She wilted.

“I did think about him when I left Platteville, but figure he’s on the job, since that’s what Barton claimed. I’d better head back and let you work. Good to see you.” She stood and weaved towards Aiden, belying her words. Her body wanted to stay.

“Wait.” He glanced at his watch, and then reclaimed her hand. His thumb, tracing a lazy path, caused a riot of sensation to dance through her.

“Please don’t go, yet. I can make it an early afternoon. Take you out for a bite. Maybe a movie.”

Her mind sighed yes. Yes to anything and everything where Aiden was concerned. Having him near felt so right. She stared over his shoulder to avoid the intensity of looking him in the eye. The sensation of belonging went way deeper than physical urges.

“Look at me, Beth.” She couldn’t resist, slid her gaze to meet his.

She thought she was needy before? Those soft, cinnamon-flecked eyes magnetized.

He smoothed her hair, her head and nape. His fingers fondled her neck where goose flesh rose. It felt to her as though he was memorizing the shapes that filled his hand.

Her eyes drifted shut. She was drowning in the pleasure of his touch. Her knees noodled.

He pulled her to him, and she let him take her body weight. “You can’t just leave.”

The way you left me? She wanted to ask. But she knew better. His job, his life, was here in Lincoln.

And where was hers? She couldn’t live in the loft above Frivolities until she grew old and gray.

He glanced at the wall clock. “We can make the last matinee. Go for ice cream or coffee afterwards?”

“Sounds great.” A date. “Would you believe I can’t remember the last time I went to a movie theater?”

“Then it’s way past time you go again. I’ll check the listings.”

“Will you buy me popcorn?” Her voice came out as shaky as her insides felt.

“And toss in a bag of nuts for protein? You betcha.” He gave her a squeeze and sidestepped to the door. “Any idea what you’ll do until then?”

“I can spend some time at the quilt museum.”

“Excellent choice.” He escorted her to the elevator with a lazy arm around her shoulder.

They watched the light above the doors and listened to the descent without speaking. When the door pinged open to reveal no passengers, Beth stood on tiptoe and brushed Aiden’s lips.

The sweet scent of butterfly bushes greeted her as she skipped to her truck behind the Nebraska Game & Parks Commission building. She burst out with a joyful gasp when a Monarch and a pair of lavender butterflies brushed her side, reminding her of the tickly zing of contact with Aiden’s mouth.

A few short blocks down the street, she parked in the lot behind the impressive International Quilt Study Center and Museum. An internal signal put her on the alert. Whatever it was, sixth sense or voice of reason, guardian angel, or the Holy Spirit, she deigned to listen.

She got her bearings and listened to the bugging, incessant feeling that she was being watched. Littlefield could be in a number of places, thanks to trees and parked vehicles.

Would she go through the rest of her life looking over her shoulder?

Something cautioned her from stepping into the open parking lot. Surely, a group of visitors would arrive to prevent her from crossing the span of concrete alone.

She waited a short stretch of time. A Lincoln Town Car pulled up. Several jovial women in red hats and purple shirts climbed out. When they drew even with her pickup, she left her truck and brought up the rear.

Safety in numbers didn’t prevent that prickling alertness that had made her wait. Like the persistent, annoying fringe on cut-off jean shorts, she felt a malicious undercurrent in the air.

Once inside the quilt center, Beth made sure she knew where the exits were located. She noted restrooms and corners. She paid her admittance fee behind the red-hatted ladies and tagged along as part of their guided tour.

Another day she would have appreciated the glass front and curving stairs of the architecture. Soon, she wouldn’t be able to tell Aiden about any of the artful quilts on display. Her time inside passed in a blur. Beth returned to her pickup in the lot the way she had left it, trailing the group of women.

And feeling just as sick to her stomach as she had before she began the tour.

 

****

 

Aiden caught sight of Beth through the glass of Game and Parks before he exited the building. She was leaning against her truck in the closest parking stall to the entrance, visiting with an older couple about the flowers that lined the walk, according to their hand gestures.

He scrubbed his hand over his jaw. He hadn’t bothered to attack his whiskers since he’d come back to Lincoln.

She was beautiful. Thanks to the Lord in her life, and his, he could now believe people had the ability to change. Not on their own, but through faith.

He nodded to the couple as they walked past on their way inside.

“Hi.” Instead of looking relaxed and happy, her face was pale and shaken.

“Everything all right?”

“It is, now that I’m with you.”

She balanced his world as well. Aiden handed her the plastic sack he carried.

She raised her brows in question and shot him a slight smile. “What’s this for?”

“For you. Be careful, it’s heavy. Sorry it’s not wrapped fancy. Hope you appreciate it.” He shrugged and felt the heat of satisfaction in his cheeks.

He watched her face as she pulled out the tubular goldfinch feeder. The weight of a bag of thistle seed almost slipped from her other hand.

“Oh.” She actually had moisture in her eyes. “This is more precious than a handmade Valentine. It would be perfect for the cabin. Thank you.”

“You get your eyes full of feminine gee-gaws at Frivolities. You love birds, so I thought you’d enjoy watching the goldfinches.” And maybe think of me when you do.

“I know exactly where I’ll put it, hanging from a shepherd’s hook on the loft balcony.”

He pulled the folded newspaper with the movie listing from his back pocket and handed it to her. He took the sack from Beth with his other hand, and through the pickup window, carefully set it on her seat.

“Not much to choose from,” he said when he straightened. “A couple animated for kids, an adventure, a sci-fi, and the last one listed, a chick flick.”

He drew in the scent of her hair while she perused the list. The light perfume reminded him of the nearby flowers.

“Would you mind the romantic comedy?”

With you by my side? “Think I can handle it. How about leaving your pickup here, and I can drop you off on your way out of town?”

On the short drive, where every street light was green for a change, Aiden guided his Jeep with a hope in his heart. He’d been so down, worrying about Beth’s safety. Still torn between asking for a vacation in order to return to Platteville and his job in Lincoln; he yearned to be close enough to keep her safe. But he’d left her with a maniac on the loose, abandoned her the same way his dad had left when Aiden was in high school.

His father’s words taunted Aiden in the middle of restless nights. If you're a man in the dark, you've got to be a man in the light of day.

A man protected his woman night or day.

He’d spent so many hours wondering if they’d ever see each other. Yet there she was, sitting right beside him. With a little luck, Beth saw him as a man worthy of love and respect, a real man in the light of day.

Life could take such unexpected turns.

He’d been satisfied with the way his life had been before a wolf decided to show up in southeast Nebraska. Then somehow, Beth showed him what he’d been missing. She’d faced her past and risen above it. He couldn’t do a thing to change his past. He’d learned to live with his mistakes.

He rid himself of pointless thoughts. Beth was here now, and he wanted to have a memorable evening by her side.

At the parking garage, Beth swung out before he could open her door, shiny blue purse slung over her shoulder, and reached back to lock her door.

On the sidewalk, he followed the urge to touch her. He grazed her cheek with the back of his hand. “And I don’t want to wait another minute before spending the evening with you.”

“Oh, yeah. In the dark with a couple hundred other theater-goers.”

He’d never seen her roll her eyes. They bumped sides. He gave her a squeeze, and then reached for her hand. They took off at a brisk walk and arrived early at the multiplex. He bought three bottles of water at concessions, handing her two.

Beth hoisted her bag, still slung over her shoulder, to the front of her body so she could slide the bottles in.

He stuck a hand underneath the purse while she settled the strap back in place. “What do you have in here, bricks?”

“I keep forgetting to take out the flashlight from when I moved from the cabin.”

Within minutes, they sank into their stadium seats a third of the way to the top. A glance at the time assured him they had several minutes before slides and trailers would begin. He surveyed the room. Only six other people were in the auditorium that seated at least three hundred.

Beth rocked, pushing back with her heels. Her head was barely even with the top of the velveteen seat. Her childlike enthusiasm was contagious. “Mmm. I can’t remember the last time I had movie theater popcorn.”

“It tastes beyond good, but I know how bad it is for arteries.” He reached for tasty kernels the same time she did and felt the sizzle.

They shared a laugh when they both retracted their fingers.

Beth said, “As big as this bucket is, we can grab at the same time.”

Aiden resettled their bucket of corn. “I think we have a funny tidbit about our first real date to tell our children some day.”

She covered her lips as though she wanted to savor what he’d said, rather than form a flippant reply.

He’d said it out loud; he’d do anything in his power to make that story for their children happen.

Only if it’s OK with You, Lord.