Bryan could no longer move. Every inch of him wanted to panic. He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry out for help, but he couldn’t feel his body and there was nothing he could do. A voice inside him told him to be calm and wait. If he panicked, he would run out of air. If he waited, then he at least stood a chance.

His body didn’t float to the top or sink to the bottom. Bryan remained suspended in the river, waiting for someone to come and get him. It was a good thing he was such a seasoned swimmer, or he would surely have lost consciousness by now. He looked up and saw light from the sun bouncing off the surface. Then he saw a hand in the water reaching out for him. Bryan waited but the hand didn’t move. It seemed to be floating in the water like a dead fish, just above his head. Why don’t they just grab me? he wondered. Then Bryan noticed the arm connected to the hand extended from his own body. His own hand floated toward the surface, and he couldn’t even make it move. Bryan knew he shouldn’t panic or he would run out of air that much faster. Instead, he remained completely calm and concentrated on his breath, trying not to focus on the ghost hand that drifted next to him.

Bryan had always heard when faced with death, your life flashes before your eyes. He never believed it until this moment. As his throat became smaller and his lungs burned, Bryan felt suspended, watching his memories play out as if on a giant movie screen.

***

“It’s a boy!” The nurse placed the small blue bundle in Carol Jean’s arms. Bryan looked up at his much younger mother as she lay in a hospital bed. She stared down into his soft, pink face, tracing his cheek with her finger. His mom’s face had a glow about it as she softly stroked his little arms, counting each finger as she smelled and touched every inch of his miniature body.

The door opened and his dad rushed to her side. Bryan stared up at his younger father whose eyes were moistened with emotion as he kissed his mother tenderly.

“What should we call him?”

“Bryan,” his mom whispered. “Let’s name him Bryan.”

***

KNOCK!

KNOCK!

KNOCK!

The grip tightened around his three-year-old fingers while she knocked with her other hand. Bryan cringed with each pounding of wood, knowing he would get it if the new baby woke up. The door swung open, his mom looking frazzled and tired. Her face quickly changed from annoyance to surprise when she saw Bryan standing there.

“I think this belongs to you.” Her neighbor smiled sweetly. “I found him wandering down the street.”

Carol Jean’s face flushed pink. “Oh my goodness, thank you so much!” She stared at the defiant face on her blond little boy. “Bryan! How did you get out?”

Bryan marched past her and sat on the couch, his arms folded, his chin thrust out. “I’m not tired.” His mom was too exhausted to be furious. He watched as she looked back to her neighbor helplessly.

“Bryan and Becky have been squabbling all morning. I finally got both Becky and Brenda down for naps. I told Bryan he needed to lay down too, but he told me he’s too old for naps. I left him in his room, thinking he’d fall asleep. I went in my room and laid down, hoping I’d catch a few minutes at least before one of them woke up. I must have fallen asleep more soundly than I thought. I really don’t know how he got outside without my hearing! I’ve just been so tired since Brenda was born. I don’t think I’ve slept in three months…”

His neighbor put a hand up to stop the explanation. “Carol Jean, you have three children under the age of three, including a newborn. You don’t need to explain anything to me. Have a nice day.” She slipped out the front door before his mom could utter another word.

She walked over to the couch and plopped down beside Bryan. “You, mister, are in big trouble! You know better than to leave the house by yourself!”

“I’m not tired,” he said unapologetically. He slid from the couch and began pushing his cars around on the floor.

***

“Bryan, time to come in for dinner!”

His mom stood at the back door of their new home, watching as Bryan’s glove closed around the baseball with a thump! He grasped the white leather in his hand and threw it again without even glancing at his mom.

“Bryan! Come in NOW!”

“Come on, Mom, just a few more pitches. Please?” He continued to throw and catch the ball with his grandfather, the leather making a satisfying smacking sound each time they connected.

Carol Jean let out an exasperated breath. “Mayo, can you give me a hand, please?”

Grandpa Carroll chuckled. “All right, Bryan, you need to listen to your mom. We can play more tomorrow.”

Reluctantly, Bryan dropped his glove and shuffled toward the house. He squeezed past his mother’s large belly and went inside to wash his hands.

“Do you want to stay and eat?” Carol Jean offered.

“No thank you. I’m sure Thelma has dinner for me at home.”

“Can I at least offer you a glass of water before you leave? You two were working pretty hard out there.”

“Sure, thank you.” Grandpa Carroll looked at Bryan and added, “He really is a good boy, ya know.”

Carol Jean let out a large sigh. “I know. But he might also be the death of me. He is the sole cause of this,” she added, holding up a section of greying hair.

Grandpa Carroll smiled. “So does that mean you’re hoping for another girl?” He nodded toward her growing belly.

“I don’t really know. Some days I hope for another boy, so he can have a brother. Then he lights something on fire and I think maybe another girl wouldn’t be so bad.”

Bryan pretended he couldn’t hear them and began piling food onto his plate.

“Wait for your father, please.”

Bryan rolled his eyes and slumped back in his chair.

“Bye, kiddo. I’ll see you later.”

Bryan jumped to his feet. “But if I eat real fast, can’t we go back out tonight?”

“It’s already getting dark. Besides, your Grandma will wonder where I am.” Bryan’s face fell. “Oh, come now, enjoy dinner with your family and I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that, Grandpa Carroll waved goodbye and shut the door behind him.

The door opened again a moment later and Glenn entered the kitchen. “Sorry I’m late,” he said.

“Daddy!” Becky and Brenda came screaming into the room and each wrapped themselves around one of his legs. He laughed and lifted one leg at a time, depositing the girls into their chairs. Then he ruffled Bryan’s hair and leaned over to give Carol Jean a kiss.

“How was your day?” she asked.

Glenn looked tired but he responded in the same way he always did. “Fabulous, marvelous, and wonderful.” He looked down at Bryan. “Grandpa says you’re getting better at catching.”

“Yeah, I am! I didn’t drop the ball one single time!”

“Wow. I don’t think I was that good at catch when I was seven. You must be practicing really hard.”

“Just until Mom makes me come inside.” He made a face.

“I know you like playing outside, buddy, but if you don’t eat, you won’t have enough energy to be an athlete.”

Bryan began spooning mounds of food into his mouth until his plate was clean.

“Nahw ca I gow pway ouside?” he asked around a mouthful of food.

His sisters giggled as mashed potatoes sprayed out over the table.

“No, it’s too dark. You can play again tomorrow.”

Bryan was ready to argue when the doorbell rang. He swallowed his last chunk of food and raced for the door. “I’ll get it!”

A little boy from down the street stood on his porch, holding a wind-up train in his hands. “Hi, Bryan. Danny told me you fixed his record player. I was hoping you could help me with my train, too? It won’t go anymore.”

Bryan reached for the train, his eyes lighting up as he looked it over. He twirled the small wheels with his thumb and then tried winding it himself. “I can look at it tonight. Why don’t you come back tomorrow and see if I have it fixed by then.”

“Gee, thanks, Bryan!”

Bryan immediately carried the train into the living room and began dismantling it with care. He loved fixing things! His reputation was starting to grow among the other kids in the neighborhood. He hadn’t yet found a toy he couldn’t fix. Soon the train was scattered all over the floor and he was still fiddling with the pieces when Carol Jean came in and told him it was time for bed.

The next morning Bryan woke up and raced into the living room to finish his project. He was startled to see his grandparents sitting on the couch.

“Good morning, Bryan.” In response to his confused face his grandpa laughed and added, “Your mom had the baby last night.”

He nodded and then waited expectantly for what he was afraid to hear.

“It was another girl. They named her Glenda.”

Bryan sighed and slumped down to the floor. He picked up two pieces of the train and began fitting them together again. They heard a cry from the girls’ room and his grandma got up to take care of his sisters. Grandpa Carroll carefully slid off the couch and grunted as he tried to squat beside Bryan on the floor.

“So what are you working on?”

“It’s a train. It got broken, so I’m fixing it.”

“You sure are good with your hands. Do you want to show me how it works?”

Bryan began pointing out the different pieces to his grandpa while he screwed them back together.

“You’re not very happy about having another sister, are you?”

Bryan just shrugged and continued working.

“You know, having all sisters isn’t so bad.”

He scrunched up his nose and made a face.

Grandpa Carroll chuckled before continuing. “They will all look up to you. I already know Becky and Brenda follow you around everywhere.”

“Yeah, it’s annoying.”

“They only do that because they love you and they want to be just like you. You’re their big brother, their protector. It’s a very important job. Do you think you can handle it?”

Bryan thought for a moment and then nodded.

“Good boy. Now when you’re finished with that, what do you say we head back outside and throw the ball around some more?”

***

Bryan’s mom usually had to pry him out of bed on Sunday mornings, but not today, not when candy was involved. Bryan grinned as he hopped out of bed and quickly moved down the hall. He couldn’t wait to see what the Easter Bunny brought. His mouth began to water as he thought about all the eggs he would find during the hunt later. As Bryan came around the corner, he stopped dead in his tracks. His mom’s mom sat on their sofa, looking tired and reading a book.

“Grandma?” Bryan whispered.

She looked up and smiled warmly, inviting him to come hug her with outstretched arms. He moved slowly towards her, his heart racing.

“Where are Mom and Dad?” he asked.

Grandma patted the cushion beside her. Bryan sat and looked up into her eyes, searching for answers.

She wrapped one arm around his shoulders and placed her other hand on top of both of his. “I’m really sorry to tell you this,” she started, and Bryan held his breath. “Your Grandma Carroll passed away last night. Your parents are at the hospital with Grandpa Carroll right now.”

Bryan continued to stare at her, unable to fully process the words. “She…died?” he finally asked.

Grandma gave his hand a squeeze and nodded.

“But…it’s Easter.”

“I know, sweetie. I’m sorry. Your parents have been gone most of the night.”

“But, are they coming back for the Easter egg hunt?”

“No, dear. No baskets or egg hunts this year. Why don’t you go get dressed now? I’m taking you and your sisters to church.”

Bryan sat, unmoving for several minutes. “How is Grandpa?”

“I’m not sure, sweetie. You’ll have to ask your parents when they get home.”

All Bryan could think about for several days after was Grandpa. He just wanted to see him, but was always told that Grandpa was busy with funeral arrangements. The day of the funeral finally arrived and Bryan still found he couldn’t reach Grandpa. He was too surrounded by a long line of family and friends, offering their love and support.

Once the funeral ended and everyone went home, Bryan turned back around and ran out the front door. He jumped on his bike and flew down the block, forgetting that he wasn’t wearing any shoes. He kept going until he arrived at his safe haven: Grandpa Carroll’s house. He paused only briefly to stare at the huge wooden door. Once he caught his breath, Bryan reached for the handle and opened the door slowly. He walked quietly through the house until he found Grandpa Carroll sitting in his den, staring silently at the golf game on TV. Bryan carefully climbed up beside him on the bright, floral couch and laid his head against Grandpa Carroll’s drooping arm. Without a word spoken between them, Grandpa Carroll reached over and covered both of Bryan’s hands with one of his own. They sat together and watched golf until Grandpa Carroll fell asleep.

***

Bryan stared out the front window at the large, white ambulance which sat parked in his driveway. He waited eagerly to see Becky’s reaction as she walked up the front steps. He was disappointed when Becky simply rolled her eyes and marched into the house. Bryan waved from the family room, a big grin spread across his face as the paramedics bandaged his leg. “What did you do now?” she asked.

“I was just climbing a tree.” Bryan shrugged.

“All right, Bryan, you’re good to go,” one of the paramedics said. “Just be a bit more careful from now on.”

Carol Jean laughed. “If only I had a nickel for every time I said those same words to him…” She looked at Bryan’s impish grin and shook her head. Bryan loved building fire-moats around his castles in the sandbox, he loved leaping off the roof to feel like he was flying, he loved trying stunts on his bike and skateboard, and he definitely didn’t plan on giving up his favorite activities any time soon.

As soon as the paramedics finished their work and began packing up, Bryan leaped to his feet.

“Can I go visit Grandpa now?”

Carol Jean nodded without looking up, her head in her outstretched hand, massaging the migraine that threatened to appear. She thanked the men profusely for coming.

Bryan slammed the door behind himself and picked up his fallen bike from the sidewalk.

Bryan’s leg prevented him from pedaling very fast, which he found annoying, but he was still able to move with barely an issue. He burst through Grandpa Carroll’s unlocked door and walked straight over to the game cupboard. He slid checkers under his arm, grabbing two apples off the counter as he passed through the small kitchen. He walked into the living room and set up the small, brown TV tray right in front of Grandpa’s chair. He pulled up a folding chair and set the pieces out, reserving the red for himself.

“So whad’ya do this time?”

Bryan looked down, having forgotten about his leg already. “Oh, I was just climbing the tree in our yard. Brenda said when I fell, I was knocked out for ten whole seconds!” he said, beaming with pride.

Grandpa Carroll chuckled. “Shouldn’t the bandage be on your head then?”

“No, I didn’t hurt my head at all! I just scraped my leg when I was coming down, I guess.”

***

Bryan threw a snowball at Becky, who squealed and threw one back. Bryan laughed and ducked just in time for the snowball to hit little Glenda square in the face. She began to scream and cry. Bryan and Becky both stopped laughing and ran over. Bryan scooped her up in his arms and bounced her until she calmed down.

“I’m sorry, Glenda. Do you want to help us build a snowman?”

She nodded through her tears and Bryan gently placed her back on the powdery ground. He began to form a tight ball of snow in his hands and then showed Glenda how to help him push it through the snow until the ball was too big to roll anymore. Becky and Brenda pushed over the ball they had been working on. Brenda ran inside to look for a carrot while Becky and Glenda scoured the ground for stones that could make up the eyes and mouth. Bryan quickly rolled a small ball of snow for the head and had to stand on his tippy-toes to get it safely on top of the snowman’s middle. Brenda ran back outside, waving a carrot above her head.

“Mom and Dad want to talk to us inside. They said to come in when the snowman is done.”

“What for?” Becky looked up from her search.

“I dunno.” Brenda shrugged.

They all looked to Bryan. “What? I didn’t do anything, I swear!”

Becky and Glenda gave up on their search for pebbles, only finding two. They used those for the eyes and ended up using a stick to create his lopsided smile. They all trudged inside, shaking the snow from their coats as they peeled off the extra layers with their frozen fingers.

Glenn and Carol Jean were seated at the kitchen table, mugs of hot cocoa ready and waiting for the kids as they walked in.

“What’s the matter?” Bryan asked.

“Nothing’s the matter,” Carol Jean said with a smile.

“Then why do you look so serious?” Becky asked, pulling her mug closer as she sat down.

Their parents looked at each other and smiled.

“We’re going to have another baby!” Carol Jean announced. She reached down and picked up Glenda, who waited with outstretched arms.

The older three remained speechless. They just stared at their parents waiting for the inevitable, “Ha ha! April fools!” But it didn’t come.

“Ummm, congratulations,” Brenda finally said, standing up and giving her mother a half-hearted hug.

Becky did the same, but Bryan continued to stare. His eyebrows smoldered together as he glared at his parents, trying to wrap his head around this news. His anger finally broke through the surface. He slammed his fist into the table and then stalked from the room.

Over the next nine months Bryan spoke very little about the baby. Even though his mother continued to grow in size, he still went about his life and spoke to her as though she weren’t pregnant. He wanted nothing to do with helping his parents in preparations for the new addition.

As the pregnancy neared the end, Carol Jean became increasingly tired and uncomfortable. She often needed more rest during the day and had to sit on the couch with her feet up. She continued to get bigger, but the baby still did not come. Late one night, Carol Jean finally went into labor, two weeks past her due date. The baby only lived eight hours. They named her Beverly.

Glenn returned home from the hospital the next day, empty-handed and broken-hearted. Carol Jean had become septic from the long pregnancy and difficult delivery, and was to remain at the hospital for several more days. Grandpa Carroll came over and played with the kids so Glenn could get some rest and try to plan the small funeral. He walked up the stairs, his eyes misting as he tried hard to be strong for his other children. Glenn thanked his dad for coming, his eyes red and swollen, his face grim.

The girls started fighting so Grandpa Carroll turned on a movie for them and sank into the couch. Glenda climbed up in his lap and was soon fast asleep. Bryan slowly got up from his spot on the floor and sat down next to his grandpa. He leaned his head on Grandpa’s shoulder and began to cry.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered

“For what?” Grandpa asked.

“I didn’t want the baby, but I didn’t want her to die!”

“Oh, Bryan, this is not your fault. It’s just one of those things…”

“Why did she die?” he looked to Grandpa Carroll with round, swollen eyes.

“Well, it seems your sister waited too long to come. Babies can’t stay inside their mommies forever or they start to get sick.”

Bryan didn’t really understand, but he nodded anyway.

“The neat thing to remember is now you have a guardian angel who is watching over you in heaven.”

Bryan mustered half a smile, but then his face quickly became serious again. “Is Mom going to be okay?”

“She will. With time.”

“Is she going to be able to come to the funeral?”

Grandpa let out a long, slow sigh. “It’s not looking like she will.”

Bryan’s eyes grew wider.

“Your mom will be okay,” Grandpa assured him, patting his leg. “Her body has been through a lot and it will take some time to heal. We’ll just keep praying for her to come home soon.”

Bryan nodded to Grandpa and then immediately bowed his head and folded his arms in silent prayer.

***

One year later, Bryan found himself a big brother again. He stood over Jenny’s basinet, watching her sleep.

“Can I hold her?”

Carol Jean looked at him, surprised. “Of course,” she said. “Why don’t you sit down?”

“Oh, come now, the boy is eleven years old. He doesn’t need to sit,” Glenn said, placing the baby into Bryan’s outstretched arms.

Bryan looked at his sister’s tiny, pink face. She slowly opened her eyes and smiled up at him, and he smiled back.

“She likes you!” Carol Jean said.

Bryan grinned at his mom and then looked at Jenny again. “I like her, too.”

***

“Byan, Byan, way fo me!”

Bryan pushed the towel up on his shoulder and turned around. Little Jenny ran as fast as her two-year-old feet would carry her, trying to catch up. She was stripped down to just her diaper, her pudgy little hands wrapped around a blue float ring. She finally caught him and smiled up into his face.

Bryan returned the grin, scooping her up into his arms. “Does Mom know you’re out here? I’m going to the pool.” He pointed toward the community pool entrance, which stood only two doors down from their house. “I really can’t play with you right now.”

“We’re right here.” Carol Jean emerged from the house with a large tote bag filled with towels and pool toys. “She just wanted to walk with you.”

“Mom, come on, I thought you said I could go to the pool by myself,” Bryan said, setting Jenny back down on the sidewalk.

“Sorry, sweetie, but your sisters saw you getting ready and wanted to come.”

Bryan grumbled but continued to walk, his four little sisters trailing behind him in a line. Once they were splashing and playing in the water, Bryan forgot about his frustrations and had fun swimming with Brenda and Becky. Bryan loved that he could cream his sisters every time they raced. He could hold his breath under water the longest, too. He’d sit at the bottom of the pool, looking up and watching as Brenda started squirming right before her head broke through the water. Becky followed shortly after, slapping the water with the palm of her hand when she realized she’d been beaten again. Bryan’s lungs burned for oxygen, but he remained under the water until he feared he might pass out. Then he’d kick off the bottom, his head bursting through the water like a shot from a cannon.

***

Bryan could hear screaming inside the house before he even got his keys into the lock. He rolled his eyes and brushed his shaggy hair from his forehead. “Oh, the joys of having four sisters,” he mumbled. He leaned his broad shoulder into the door and pushed it open.

Glenda stood in front of the piano, screaming at it, her face purple with rage.

“Get out here now, you little brat!”

Bryan thought she looked insane until he heard the faint, defiant reply.

“No!”

Bryan walked up behind Glenda and placed a hand on her shoulder. She turned with a start, her eyes glowing like fire.

“She won’t come out!” Glenda held her hand up, displaying the piano for Bryan. “She got mad and climbed back there, and now mom will get home and I’ll be in trouble!”

“How did she even get back there?”

Their family piano sat along the railing by the top of the basement stairs. The back of the piano was against the banister and had the sheer drop off down the stairs directly behind it.

“She climbed over the banister and walked along the ledge.” Glenda’s voice seemed to be calming a little. “I even called next door, and Mrs. Wright couldn’t get her to come out either. This is my first time babysitting alone. Mom’s going to kill me if she finds out I let her walk along that ledge.”

Bryan knelt down by the side of the piano and peeked behind it. Two little, blue eyes looked back out at him. “Jenny,” he coaxed in a soothing voice. “Hey, Jenny, you wanna go for a car ride with me?”

Jenny giggled and crawled out from her hiding spot. She lunged at Bryan, who caught her mid-jump and tickled her in the air.

Glenda grunted angrily and stormed away.

“Tell Mom we went for a ride,” he yelled. Jenny squealed and threw her arms around Bryan’s neck, hugging him tightly.

He walked back outside to his green Pinto, placing Jenny on the front sit before going around and sliding in behind the wheel. It was warm even though the sunlight was fading. Bryan started the car and drove around the neighborhood. Jenny leaned out the car window, enjoying the thick summer breeze on her face. As Bryan stepped on the gas, Jenny’s knee hit the door handle and the door swung open, with her still hanging on it. Jenny began screaming, and even though Bryan could feel his heart stop, he kept his calm. He carefully slowed to a stop and then got out to gently lift her off the door.

“Shhh, shhh, you’re okay,” he soothed. When Jenny stopped trembling, he put her back inside the car. As they started driving again, he made jokes about how silly she looked, hanging on like a little monkey. It didn’t take long before they were both laughing about the whole thing.

They returned home about an hour later, Jenny clutching the stuffed musical bear Bryan bought her. All thoughts from their adventurous evening were forgotten.

“Did you have fun?” Carol Jean knelt down to hug Jenny, who nodded enthusiastically, and then ran to her room to make a bed for the new ‘baby.’ Carol Jean stood and smiled at Bryan. “Glenda told me what happened. Thanks for taking her out.”

Bryan nodded. He walked past his mom into the kitchen for a snack.

“Don’t eat too much; dinner will be ready soon.”

“I’ll be hungry then, too,” he said, piling layers of ham onto his colossal sandwich.

Carol Jean grabbed a handful of blonde locks which hung past his ear. “It’s time for a haircut,” she said, making a face.

Bryan pulled out of her reach. “I like my hair long, Mom. Just let it go.”

“But it looks so awful!”

“Everyone wears their hair like this. I’d look stupid if I cut it.”

“He’s right, Mom,” Becky added, stepping into the kitchen.

Carol Jean threw her hands up in the air. “I give up!”

“Thanks,” Bryan mumbled to Becky before heading downstairs to his bedroom. As he walked down the basement hallway, he pulled a pencil from his backpack and scribbled ‘I hate Mom’ on the clean, white wall.

***

Bryan stepped into the auto shop at school and paused in the open doorway. The loud clanging of tools on metal and the sharp whirring of an impact wrench might deter others from wanting to enter, but not Bryan. He took a deep breath, sucking in the fumes of motor oil and body sweat. Oh yeah, this was home. He grinned before stepping towards his project for the day, a Chevy that needed a stereo installed. He learned all the basics last year when he took auto shop—changing oil, rotating tires, the ins and outs of engines—but now that he was in his senior year, he could work on bigger projects alone. He rubbed his hand along the smooth orange paint, tracing the beauty and power of the car beneath his rough fingertips. He marched to the small booth that stood between the two shops. He selected the tools he would need for that day and checked them out before returning to the beauty that waited for him.

“Hi, Bryan!” Another student high-fived him as he walked past.

“Hey, Bry, can you help me a sec?” A tall, skinny kid with glasses waved him over. Bryan paused and answered his question with ease, and then he wiped his slick hands off on his jeans so he could get to work. This was easily the best part of his day: no solving problems, no writing stupid poetry. The garage was where he belonged. Once the stereo was in place and all the wires connected, he cranked the volume to show off his completed work. Some of the other students wandered over to listen.

“You should install the sound system for the dance next weekend,” one of them yelled.

“Yeah, right, like Bryan would leave the garage long enough to go out to a dance.” Several of the boys laughed.

“So come on, Bryan, who asked you? Marsha?”

“Naw.” Bryan threw his rag down on the hood. “You know my rule. We went out twice and all she wanted to do was shake my hand so…” He moved his thumb up over his shoulder. “She’s history.” The guys laughed some more.

“You really won’t take a girl out on a third date if she hasn’t kissed you yet?”

“I figure if she doesn’t kiss by the second date, then she must not be interested.” Bryan paused, looking thoughtful. “I forgot about the dance next weekend. But it’s girl’s choice so...” He shrugged.

The bell rang, signaling the end of the day. Bryan wiped the grease from his hands and gathered his book bag. As he drove home, he noticed his friend Sue trudging through the snow, alone on the sidewalk. He pulled over and offered her a ride, which she gladly accepted. They chatted easily the rest of the way to her house.

“This is it.” She pointed out her window at the red, brick rambler when they arrived. “Hey, Bryan.” She paused from opening her door. “Are you going to the Valentine’s dance next weekend?”

“Nope, not yet. Why?”

“Really?” She sounded surprised.

“I haven’t been asked. The dance is actually on my birthday this year, too. How’s that for a downer?” he joked.

“My little sister doesn’t have a date yet.”

Bryan scrunched up his nose.

“No, she’s really cute! And she’s not that young, she’s a junior this year.”

“She’s cute?”

“Yeah, I think you’d really like her!”

Bryan continued to look at Sue, uncertain.

“So…can I pass your name off to her?”

“Sure, I guess,” Bryan answered.

“Great! Thanks for the ride!” She closed the door quickly and ran up the front steps, ducking her head against the biting wind.

Bryan shook his head as he pulled away from the curb and headed home. Oh well, he thought. She probably won’t call anyway.

When he got home he grabbed a handful of cookies from the kitchen and ran down the stairs. He kicked his shoes off and was shuffling through his records, trying to decide which one to play when he heard the telephone ring. A short time later he could hear Brenda yelling for him down the stairs.

“What?” he shouted back.

“Phone!”

Bryan lifted the receiver off the wall and, stretching the cord as far as it would go, hid in the hall closet for privacy. He cleared his throat before putting the phone up to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Umm, hi, yeah, is this Bryan?”

“That’s me.”

She giggled. “Hey, I’m Jana, Sue’s sister. Listen, she told me you didn’t have a date for the dance yet, so I was wondering if you wanted to go?”

Bryan only paused briefly. “Sure.”

“Great!” He could hear her smile through the phone.

“Do you want me to drive?” Bryan offered.

“Yeah, actually, that would be really nice.”

“Okay, I’ll pick you up at 7:00 for dinner. Does that work?”

“Sounds good. See you then!”

“See ya.”

***

Bryan was nervous as he walked up her porch steps a week later. He checked his reflection in the glass on her door one last time, straightened the tie on his blue tuxedo, and knocked twice. He was excited when the door slowly opened and a really cute redhead stood there, waiting. Jana had curly auburn hair and blue eyes that seemed to sparkle when she looked at him and smiled. Bryan quickly introduced himself and held out the yellow carnation corsage he purchased for her. Bryan’s hands shook as he pinned it to her long, purple, lacy dress. She pinned him in turn with a white boutonniere as they smiled shyly at each other. Bryan offered her his arm and they got in the car to go to dinner.

Bryan took her to a restaurant nearby called The Heather. Talking became easier and more natural as the night wore on. After dinner, when they went out and got in the car, it wouldn’t start. After checking things out, Bryan discovered someone had stolen the cable that goes from the coil to the distributor. Fortunately, Jana’s friends were nearby, and they gave them a ride to the dance. They had a good time at the dance and got along well. Bryan was impressed that the mishap with his car didn’t seem to bother her. After the dance, her friends took Jana home first.

“Thanks for a great time,” she said. She leaned over the seat and gave Bryan a kiss on the cheek before climbing out of the car. “And happy birthday,” she whispered, with a smile.

Once home, Bryan told Glenn about his car and the two of them left again to retrieve it.

The next time Bryan saw Jana was several weeks later. They talked for a few minutes and arranged a time when they could meet up so he could give her the pictures from the dance. They ended up talking for almost an hour and that’s when he decided to ask her to go to the next dance. The trick was deciding exactly how to do it. The practice of just asking somebody to go didn't seem to be good enough anymore. After much thought, he finally came up with the idea to do something like a message in a bottle floating in the ocean. Bryan bought a large fishbowl with a number of tropical fish. He found a small bottle shaped like a wine bottle. He rolled up a note in it, asking her to go with him to the dance.

The next trick was figuring out how to deliver it. He convinced a friend to drop it off, wearing tights and a cape. Bryan drove him over to Jana's house and let him out. He continued down the street, parking several houses away. His friend rang the doorbell then took off and hid until she came to the door. Bryan picked him up and waited for Jana’s reply, which he received the next day. He took it as a good sign that she answered so quickly. They had a great time at the dance together, without any car problems this time, and dated pretty steadily from then on.

***

Just days before the trip, Bryan got home from work to find his dad out in the garage, a large circular saw buzzing in his hands. “Hey, Bryan, can you give me a hand?” he called.

“Whatcha doin’?” Bryan asked.

“Duane asked me to make some pack frames to fit in the rafts for our trip.”

“Pack frames? For what?”

“To suspend all the packs and coolers so they don’t just sit in the bottom of the raft and cause a tear or anything.”

Bryan held onto the large, long piece of wood and held it steady while Glenn worked the saw, cutting it into a two foot by six foot board.

“So Duane tells me there’s some great jumping cliffs about four days in on the river.”

Bryan’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

“Yes, really. You interested?”

“Heck yeah, I’m interested! How high are they?”

“He didn’t say, he just told me where they are. It’s off in a little canyon…uh…Slickhorn, I think he called it.”

“Oh man, that sounds awesome! Can I tell the guys?”

“Of course. It’s not a secret. Duane says he’ll show us the way when we get there. Just don’t tell your mom.”

Bryan hefted the next plank against the stack that was forming against the wall. “Of course not. She’d just worry the whole trip.”

“Exactly,” Glenn said. “Exactly.”

***

“Do you really have to go?”

Bryan kissed Jana tenderly, enveloping her with his muscular arms. “It’s my last chance to go since I’m an ‘adult’ now.” The toothy grin split his face as he used air-quotes for the word. He might have graduated high school, but he sure didn’t feel like an adult yet.

“I just have a bad feeling about it.”

“I think you’re just going to miss me,” he teased. Then his tone softened. “I’ll miss you, too,” he added, kissing her on the top of her head. “It’s only five days. You’ll see me again soon.”

Jana shook her head, not wanting to let him go. She buried her face in his chest and let a few silent tears escape. She didn’t want him to see her cry. She carefully wiped them away and looked up expectantly into his deep blue eyes. He obliged, kissing her one final time before letting go.

“I’ll call you as soon as we get back.”

“I love you, Bryan!”

He smiled. “I love you, too.”