Bryan stared at his right hand, shifting back and forth slightly as the bed swayed his body side to side. He willed it to move, but with no success. He concentrated with all his might to have just one finger twitch, but to no avail. Christine told him it would take some intensive physical therapy to even discover if hand movement would be possible again. Bryan tried to tell her he was ready. He wanted to start physical therapy as soon as possible. Christine chuckled at his eagerness and told him to wait patiently. She would help him stretch his muscles, but the big stuff had to wait. First he needed to recover from his bed sores and get out of traction. Bryan tried to convince her that he could handle it, but Christine only smiled at him and left the room.

He continued to lay in bed, feeling bored. His family had finally left, after much convincing on his part that he would be fine. He could tell how exhausted his parents and Becky were, and he didn’t mind them leaving to shower and clean up either. The room started to smell a little musty. They promised to return in a few hours. Bryan knew his mom wouldn’t rest, even though she needed to. They were going to stop and pick up his little sisters on their way home. He knew as soon as she did, especially little Jenny would demand attention and his mom would oblige.

The thought of Jenny made Bryan smile. He hadn’t seen her in over a week. He couldn’t wait to see her blonde head poke through his door and fill the room with her sweet giggle. It would be a welcome change to all the tears that had been shed in his room. Bryan looked around at the bare, white walls and wondered if he could get Glenda and Jenny to draw some pictures for him to spruce things up a bit. Instead of signing a cast, he could have them fill the whole room with color. The thought brought a smile to his face. He knew it would be awhile still before his family came back, but he glanced over at the door just in case. He watched it for signs of movement but saw none. He tried closing his eyes. His body could probably use some more rest, but sleep wouldn’t come. He was too excited for their arrival. He looked to the door and waited.

***

Jana glanced at her baby blue phone for the hundredth time. When was Bryan going to call? She knew he was supposed to get home two days ago, but when he didn’t call all day yesterday, she assumed the trip had gone late. Or maybe he was sunburned and tired and needed some time to recover. She understood that. But this didn’t make any sense! The afternoon was wearing on and he hadn’t called or stopped by. Jana heard a rumble outside and flew to her window. She pushed the white, lacy curtains aside, but saw nothing. Bryan’s motorcycle was louder than that anyway.

She tried flipping on the TV, but didn’t really pay attention to the show playing in front of her. She had taken the entire day off work, and she knew Bryan had fibbed to his boss about the exact day he was returning so they could spend the whole day together. Jana jumped up and flipped the TV off again, muting the background noise. This was stupid. Why was she waiting for him anyway? Jana decided to go to his house and find out what was going on herself. She slipped on her shoes, grabbed her keys, and was about to reach for the doorknob when her doorbell rang. Jana jumped back in surprise. She reached for the handle again and opened the door.

Becky and Glenda stood on her front porch. Glenda’s eyes looked red and puffy. Becky appeared to be sunburned, with wet hair dripping down her back. She knew Bryan’s sisters really well, having spent a lot of time with his family, but it was strange to have them in her house without Bryan around.

“Hey, Jana, can we come in?”

“Sure.” Jana stepped back from the open door. “Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting you guys. I was actually about to come over and see you. How was the trip? Where’s Bryan?”

Glenda sat on the couch, her face buried in her hands, her shoulders shaking.

“Glenda?”

Becky cleared her throat and finally spoke. “Bryan was in an accident.”

Jana jumped from her chair, clutching the keys so tightly they dug into her palm. “Where is he? I need to see him.”

Becky got up and tried to guide Jana back to her chair. “He’s at the hospital.”

“Which one?”

“University of Utah.”

“What happened? Is he okay?”

“He broke his neck.”

Jana gasped. She clutched her stomach, suddenly feeling nauseous.

“He’s still alive, he’s talking and everything and he’s still, well, Bryan. But he is paralyzed. The doctor said he will definitely never walk again. He might be able to get back some use of his arms, but for right now, he can’t move anything.”

“When can I see him?”

“That’s why we’re here. We’re heading back up to the hospital so Brenda, Glenda, and Jenny can see him. We wondered if you want to come, too?”

Jana flew out of her chair so fast, it moved back several inches. She had the front door open before Becky or Glenda could even get off the couch. “What are you guys waiting for? Let’s go!” The girls quickly got to their feet and jumped in the car before Jana could drive away without them.

Bryan heard voices in the hallway before he saw anyone, but he knew it was his family. He smiled and waited anxiously for them to appear. Glenn pushed the door open first and held it while he ushered the girls in. Brenda and Glenda approached his bed cautiously.

“Hey, guys,” Bryan said. “I missed you.” He moved his eyes back to the doorway as it opened again and Jana walked in. His smile widened even more. Jana rushed to the bed and reached over the side to hold his unmoving hand.

“Hey, stranger,” she smiled at him.

“Sorry I didn’t call sooner, I’ve been a little…tied up.”

Jana grinned. He was still her Bryan. “I was just afraid you had found a new girl to replace me while you were gone.”

“Not possible.” Bryan smiled at her.

Jana took a step back and let Jenny come through. The small seven-year-old remained huddled by the door, cowering behind Carol Jean. She didn’t like the look of that steel thing going through Bryan’s head.

“Hey, sweet girl,” Bryan whispered. “Don’t I get a hug?”

Jenny inched toward the bed and peered over the edge. Glenn lifted her up to see better, and she wiggled free from his grasp. She climbed up the bed and curled up on top of Bryan, her head resting on his chest.

“I’m not sure…” Carol Jean reached up to pull Jenny down, but Bryan stopped her.

“She’s fine, Mom,” he smiled. Jenny snuggled into her brother until the gentle rocking lulled her to sleep. He continued to talk with his family until Glenn looked at his watch and said they needed to go.

“We are going over to visit your grandpa tonight,” he said.

“Does he know yet?” Bryan asked.

Glenn shook his head.

“Be gentle,” Bryan whispered.

Glenn nodded, and then he reached down to carefully scoop up a still-sleeping Jenny. She transferred her head to Glenn’s shoulder but remained asleep.

“If it’s okay with you guys, I think I’ll stay here a little longer,” Jana spoke up. “I can get one of my parents to come pick me up later.”

Carol Jean gave her a hug. “That would be wonderful. Thank you,” she said. She turned to Bryan. “I’ll be back in the morning.”

“You don’t have to be here early, Mom. I’ll probably be asleep and I know you really need to catch up on sleep, too.”

Carol Jean waved off his protests. “I’ll see you in the morning,” she said.

Bryan rolled his eyes. He said goodbye as his parents guided his sisters from the room and down the hall. He could hear their voices getting fainter and fainter as they walked away.

“So how are you feeling?” Jana asked, moving closer to his bedside now that they were alone.

“I’ve got a bit of a headache,” Bryan smiled mischievously.

Jana laughed. “No kidding.”

Bryan’s voice grew more serious. “So I was afraid you might not want to be with me still, since the accident.”

“Of course I would. You haven’t changed, and I fell in love with you, not your legs or your arms.”

Bryan smiled. Jana tried to bend down to kiss him, but she misjudged the speed of the rocking bed and got knocked in the chest with it. They both broke into laughter.

***

Grandpa Carroll woke in his armchair to the soft whirring of his lawn mower starting. He grinned and stretched before carefully rising to his feet. It had been a few weeks since he’d seen Bryan, who was busy with work and then the trip. Grandpa Carroll walked over to the refrigerator and pulled out a pitcher of lemonade. Taking two glasses from the cupboard beside his fridge, he set them on the counter and poured two large cups. He opened his front door and stepped out into the bright sunlight. His other grandson, Richard, was walking up and down the lawn carefully, making a nice, even pattern in the grass. Grandpa Carroll froze. Richard turned and saw him standing there, lemonade in hand. He smiled and waved. Grandpa Carroll moved across the green lawn toward him.

“What are you doing, Richard?”

“Just mowing your lawn, Grandpa.”

“But…well, Bryan normally does that.”

Richard just shook his head. “I know, Grandpa, but uh, Donna asked me to come.”

Grandpa stared at him blankly. “Where’s Bryan? I know he’s home from his trip. Why hasn’t he come to see me?”

Richard glanced around, avoiding eye contact. “I’m not sure, Grandpa.”

Grandpa Carroll’s eyebrows turned down as he scowled.

“Would you like me to finish?” Richard asked.

“Yes, yes, I’m sorry.” Grandpa Carroll shook his head and seemed to see Richard for the first time. “Thank you, Richard, it was very kind of you to come.” Grandpa Carroll held up the lemonade, placing it in Richard’s open hand.

“Thank you.” Richard placed the cold glass to his lips and drank until the cup was drained. He handed the empty glass back to Grandpa Carroll, who nodded and walked back inside.

***

Glenn and Carol Jean held hands tightly as they walked up the three small steps to Donna’s house. They both took a deep breath before Glenn reached up and knocked. Donna opened the door slowly until she saw who it was.

“He’s in the living room, watching TV.” She spoke quietly.

Glenn led Carol Jean past her and they stopped in the open doorway.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Carol Jean asked.

“It will only be harder the longer we wait,” he whispered back. “Hey, Pop!” He spoke animatedly as they entered the room.

“Back from the river adventure, huh? So where’s Bryan? He hasn’t been to see me yet.”

Glenn and Carol Jean exchanged a look. “Listen, Dad, there was an accident on our trip.”

Grandpa Carroll sat up and turned the TV off. “What do you mean?”

“Bryan was cliff diving with some friends and he broke his neck.”

Grandpa Carroll shook his head. “No, no, Bryan is an excellent diver.”

“I know Dad, but it was just an accident. He’s still alive, but he is paralyzed from the neck down.”

Grandpa Carroll continued to shake his head fervently as he tried to process the fateful words. He got up slowly from his chair and walked out of the room.

“Dad, where are you going?”

***

Donna pushed the curtains aside and looked out into the yard. She sighed and looked at her watch, and then checked on him again. He was still out there. She opened the back door and yelled out, “Dad, Glenn and Carol Jean need to go. Do you want to say goodbye?” Grandpa Carroll didn’t respond. He hadn’t responded to anything since they told him about the accident. He just got to his feet and walked outside. Now, an hour later, he was still walking the same circle around and around the camper parked in the yard. The grass that used to be green and lush now had a distinct ring around it from Grandpa’s steady footfall as he paced.

“Not my Bryan, not my Bryan,” he mumbled. His feet continued to tear up the grass as he stepped, leaving only dirt behind. “Please, God, not my Bryan.”