Where the heck are those keys?” Nick asked a few days later as he groped around the dashboard of the Cammareri van, patted his pants pockets, and felt above the visor, all to no avail.
Cam reached into the cup holder, grabbed the keys his brother had clearly overlooked, and dangled them in front of his face.
“I knew that,” Nick said, snatching the keys and starting the truck. But finding the keys didn’t lift his mood. He kept smoothing down his hair and tapping his fingers on the wheel. Cam understood his normally laid-back brother was definitely not laid-back about the thought of fixing his ex’s rotted screened porch ceiling.
“So why are we doing this again?” Cam asked. “I thought your goal was to avoid Darla at all costs.”
Nick sighed and fidgeted his fingers on the wheel. “She only acts like she’s tough. I mean, she is really strong, because she got through the cancer and everything, but all that toughness is a front.”
Cam held up his hands. “I was just wondering how we happened to be doing a job on her beach house when you two are barely speaking, that’s all.”
“I hate to break this to you, but this is what I do for a living,” Nick said.
“I get that, bruh,” Cam said. “But when was the last time you touched a house under a hundred years old?”
Busted. Nick’s glance was wrought with conflict. “I ran into her at the festival and told her we were the best ones to do the job, and she agreed. That was all.”
“Oh, okay,” Cam said, unable to resist baiting his brother. “This has nothing to do with being curious about where she lives?”
“Of course not,” Nick said. “I’m an old house person. I hate those clunky-looking contemporaries. You know that.”
Yeah, Cam knew all right. Knew his brother was nervous. More nervous, in fact, than he’d seen him since his divorce. Except maybe for when Darla was going through chemo and Nick had been frantic to help in any way he could. “So you don’t want to get back together with her?”
His brother stared at him like he was deranged. “No, of course not. Never.”
“Okay,” Cam said, ready to let it rest.
But Nick, apparently, wasn’t. “I’m dating someone, remember? Lauren’s really nice.”
Lauren was really nice. And smart. And cute too. Nick usually went for women who didn’t have potential for real, lasting connection. But then, Nick had made it a point not to do relationships at all in the eight years he’d been divorced. “How did you ever meet a librarian?”
“I’m getting my MBA, remember?” His tone was a little edgy. “She helped me with some of the online stuff I was having trouble with.”
“That’s great,” Cam said. “I’m glad you’re dating again. Does Dad like her?”
“I haven’t brought her home yet.”
Cam let the subject die, but Nick had been dating this woman for four months and never brought her home to meet their father? That was…unusual.
Nick parked in Darla’s driveway and they got out of the van, Nick lugging a ladder and Cam bringing a reciprocating saw to cut through any rotted wood. “She said to just walk around,” Nick said, gesturing to a small path.
As they circled the sprawling contemporary, they caught sight of Darla lying out on a lounge chair on her expansive ocean-front deck. Apparently asleep, with earbuds in her ears and a book lying on the ground next to her chair.
Nick halted so fast Cam nearly ran into him with the saw. Before Cam could say Hey, watch it, Nick was making a beeline straight to Darla. He walked up to her chair and picked up her fallen book from the ground.
“Hey,” he said quietly. Her eyes flew open and she scrambled to sit up. “Nick!” she said, rubbing her eyes.
“You always did fall asleep reading,” he said, offering her the book. If Cam hadn’t already realized his brother was in trouble, Nick’s dopey half-smile immediately gave it away. “Hope you put sunscreen on.” She was wearing a bikini top and jean shorts, and to Cam’s amusement, his brother appeared to be checking-her-out-but-not-really-checking-her-out.
She laughed and cranked her sunglasses up to the top of her head. “I’m not an idiot like I used to be. I try to take care of myself now.” She turned and saw Cam. “Hey, Cam.”
He nodded and said hi, eyeballing her amazing panoramic view. It was a heck of a home. Good for Darla.
“You’ve got quite a front yard,” Nick said, gesturing at the royal-blue ocean glittering before them in the sun. “You living here by yourself?”
She smiled. “Yes. Just me.”
“Do you have an alarm? Maybe you should get a dog. Like a German shepherd. Or a Doberman. Or maybe an Akita.” Nick’s brain seemed to be on power saver mode as he turned to Cam. “Maybe Hadley can set her up with one.”
“I’m good, Nick,” she said softly.
Cam tried to stanch the bleeding. “We’re…um…here to take care of your roof.” He pointed to the adjoining screened porch. “Okay to go in?” He made his way over there, not failing to give his brother a get it together look.
“Oh, yes, for sure. Let me show you the problem.” Darla got up and led them into the porch, where she pointed to a stained circle of water damage involving two corners of the ceiling. The damp smell of decaying wood confirmed the problem.
“The roofing company fixed the main issue,” Darla said. “Are you guys sure you want to look at it?” She directed her question mostly to Nick, who couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of her. “I know newer houses aren’t your specialty.”
“We’re the best,” he said, pride in his voice, “and we’ll do it right without charging you an arm and a leg.”
“Okay. Well, I’ve got a conference call with my editor in a bit.” She started walking down the hall and gestured with her thumb. “I’ll be in my office if you two need anything.”
“Sounds good,” Cam said.
He must’ve given his brother an incredulous look without meaning to because Nick said, “What? I had to at least offer to fix it. She was going to call Cunningham’s.” He appeared to shudder at the mention of their biggest competitor. “What else could I do?”
Cam was about to say, Maybe just let her call them, but he figured it was better to shut up.
Nick didn’t say much as they got busy, but Cam figured he was just concentrating. They’d been working for about an hour when Darla brought in a tall cold pitcher of lemonade and some cookies.
Not just any cookies. Oatmeal with chocolate chip—Nick’s favorite. Cam was starting to wish he’d made up some excuse not to come.
“I’ve got that call now,” she said, smiling. “You guys okay?”
Nick barely gave a nod, so Cam made sure to smile and wave from the top of his ladder. “Thanks, Darla,” he said. When the coast was clear, he assessed his brother, who was using a crowbar to scrape rotten wood from the ceiling. “You okay?” Cam asked.
Nick halted whatever he was doing with the crowbar. “Fine,” he said, before starting up again.
“Okay,” Cam said, but he kept standing there. Because he knew his brother enough to know something was off.
“Will you get back to work?” Nick said, exasperated. “We’re burning daylight.”
“It’s just that you seemed excited to be here but you barely thanked her.” Cam crossed his arms. “And also, it wouldn’t kill you to tell me what’s bugging you.”
Nick rolled his eyes. “Don’t tell me you’re going to stand there until I say something.”
“Yeah,” Cam said, chuckling. “That’s what I was thinking. So maybe you’d better spill.”
Nick shook his head. Cam was ready to give up and get back to work when Nick said, “This could’ve been my life.”
Cam squinted out at the hundred eighty degrees of sun and sea in front of them. “Oceanfront? Panoramic views?”
“I don’t care about any of that.” Nick paused a long time, leaning his body against the ladder. “I mean working on a project around the house like this. Eating cookies. Reading on the deck. It just…it makes me think about what could’ve been.”
Working on projects? Eating cookies? Nick being sentimental? Cam walked down from his ladder and took a cookie, holding the plate up to Nick. As far as he could tell, his brother was talking about being with Darla. Doing everyday-life things…together.
He was also certain Nick was going to hate what he had to say. But he said it anyway.
“Maybe it could be again.”
Nick snorted.
Cam threw out his hands. “You’re both still single is all I’m saying.”
“I wasn’t ready to be a grown-up,” Nick said in a voice almost too low to hear. “I…caused a lot of pain.”
That made Cam’s thoughts swing back to Hadley, who was never far from his mind. While he and Nick had been working, he’d found himself doing double takes, thinking that a woman with her brown hair pulled back in a ponytail was Hadley as she ran through the waves or that she was one of a trio of women on the beach laughing. Every part of Seashell Harbor seemed to remind him of her.
And the fact that he’d blown it too.
“Maybe you should have another go at it,” Cam said, realizing he was probably the worst person in the world to give advice.
His brother wouldn’t meet his eyes, choosing instead to look out on the horizon, where a few tiny white specks of boats made frothy trails and puffy white clouds sailed by, oblivious to any human angst.
Nick gave an uneasy laugh. “You’ve always been an optimist. Ever since we were kids. Remember Boomer?”
Now it was Cam’s turn to shake his head. “Please don’t bring that up.” Boomer was their longtime golden retriever. One day when Cam was twelve, he’d come home from school to find Boomer gone. His dad had sat him down and explained it had been his time, and he’d had to cross the rainbow bridge.
His dad had done his best, but there’d been no goodbye. No ceremony. No burial. Boomer was just…gone. Sort of like his mom.
“You asked for weeks if he was coming back, remember?” Nick said. “Like you just couldn’t accept that he was gone. Like you could wish him back to life.”
Cam had loved that dog. It still hurt to think about it.
“Maybe what’s wrong with us goes back to Mom,” Nick said.
Out of the three of them, Nick was always the one who brought up their mother. Lucy was too young to remember her and Cam…well, he’d always put his energy into forgetting about her as best he could. “I don’t want to talk about her,” Cam said, trying to harden his heart like usual. But it seemed as though Hadley had changed the consistency of his heart to melted ice cream.
“A mom’s supposed to love her kids no matter what,” Nick said. “If she doesn’t, how do they ever feel anyone else can?”
Cam winced a little, but he was going to punt on this one, so he kept his reply light. “Maybe you should be getting your psych degree instead of an MBA, Dr. Phil.”
“We don’t talk about this,” Nick said. “But maybe we should is all I’m saying.”
“Nick, I don’t disagree that Mom leaving maybe messed us up,” Cam said. “But you and Darla were really young. Maybe you both made mistakes. But…she’s here now.”
“Too much water under that bridge. And it’s too late. We’ve both moved on.” Then he went back to prying wood slats.
Cam walked to the other corner of the porch and kept ripping out his area, planning to meet his brother in the middle.
He was a little jolted by what Nick had said about their mom’s effect on them.
Except he couldn’t help but see the irony. He was telling his brother to examine his heart, to take a leap of faith, to salvage a relationship that at one time meant everything to him.
Hadley had meant everything to him too. He kept telling himself that his head wasn’t right, he wasn’t settled, he still had a lot to prove. That she might still be hung up on that ass Cooper. That she wouldn’t remain in Seashell Harbor for much longer.
But she was here now, and so was he. And his heart wanted what it wanted.