Retainer Container

They parked their bikes in Colin’s carport and headed up to his apartment. Colin’s dad didn’t appear home yet as his car wasn’t in his spot.

When they knocked on the door, Colin opened it and both Seraphina and Dewey laughed. His hair, usually a loose mass of thick black spirals and curls a good three inches around his head, now looked frazzled, like he had a serious static electricity condition.

“What happened to your hair?” asked Dewey kindly as he put his hand on his shoulder.

“What? My hair? I don’t know,” answered Colin, but it soon became clear as he repeatedly raked his fingers through it, pacing the room, and mumbling his dead meat mantra.

“When is your dad coming home?” asked Seraphina.

“What? He’s home. He’s in his office doing some work.”

“Oh, I didn’t see his car.”

“Shop. In the shop.”

“Okay, let’s go to your room,” suggested Dewey.

When they got upstairs, Dewey forced Colin to sit down while he and Seraphina did a check around the room. No retainer.

“I’m going to check online for ideas.”

“Online?!” scoffed Colin. “You can’t just go, ‘Hey Siri, where is my retainer?’”

“Calm down,” said Seraphina. “You aren’t the first one to lose a retainer.”

“I’m the second one, if you count me.”

“Huh?” asked Dewey confused.

“It’s the second one I’ve lost!” clarified Colin. “Oh, man, he’s gonna kill me!”

“Ha! Here! ‘How to Find your Retainer,’ on WikiHow! We’ll just follow the steps.”

“This is dumb,” objected Colin, but he let out a big sigh.

“We don’t really have a better plan, Colin. And we have a school meeting tomorrow, which we have to get back to preparing for, so let’s just give this a try, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, okay.” Colin paced his room, looking for his retainer under every book and sweatshirt. In his next move, Colin began to madly empty out his closet.

“Colin!” called out Dewey.

“Huh?” he stopped his digging.

Dewey walked Colin over to the edge of his bed and sat him down.

Seraphina continued reading:

“‘Step 1: Stay calm. Otherwise, your stress hormone level will rise, causing you to have a fast pulse and sweaty palms. These intense emotions cloud your judgment and memory, can easily distract you from being able to recall where you last had it.’”[2] (Psychology Today)

Dewey picked up Colin’s wrist and tried to take his pulse.

“Knock it off,” laughed Colin, slapping away Dewey’s hand.

“Step 2 is to ‘look everywhere.’”

“I’ve done that!” wailed Colin.

“No, we have to do it ‘systematically, not’—haha! It’s like they’re watching you, Colin—‘throwing items around and digging through things in a panic.’” Seraphina and Dewey laughed.

“Not funny,” growled Colin.

“It says to approach each room like a crime scene. We work in each room you’ve been in, cover each area of space, and work in concentric circles. Oh, and it says to do it in levels.” Seraphina clapped her hands together. “This is going to be fun!” she said. “Should we split up areas or share the space in a room and each cover one area within it?”

“I don’t know,” sulked Colin. He took a nosedive into his bed pillows like his drone crash landing.

“Let’s do it together,” encouraged Dewey. “We’ll start in here, cover the kitchen, and then the stairway. Any other rooms you were in? Think hard, Colin.”

“No, I think that’s it,” he lifted his face from the pillows long enough to reply. “But what are we telling my dad if he sees us?”

“Science project. It’s my standard reply. Always works. They always want to know more about it. Just look like you’re concentrating really hard adding numbers up, and they’ll leave you alone.”

“Okay. Let’s start in here then,” said Seraphina dragging Colin back up.

They covered every inch of Colin’s room, the stairs, and the kitchen. Colin’s dad did come in and say hello, but he never questioned them. He did, however, wonder if they wanted some dinner. Dewey and Seraphina both called home to ask if they could do a project at Colin’s and eat pizza there, which thankfully got the go-ahead. They would have to leave their bikes and get a ride home though, since it would get dark.

After over an hour of solid searching, and a pizza break where Colin faked taking out his retainer so his dad wouldn’t notice, they headed back up to Colin’s room defeated.

“I really think we need to work on the t-issue and the garden presentation some more. You’re just going to have to tell your dad or hope it shows up,” said Dewey.

Dewey sat down at the computer and began to go back to the research on snack food and the vending machines.

“No. Nuh uh. Nope.” Colin folded his arms over his chest and stood staring at the wall.

“Move out of my way,” said Seraphina to Dewey, and she switched Dewey’s page and resumed reading from the WikiHow list.

“‘Step 3: Sit down—’”

At this, Dewey stood up and put both hands on Colin’s shoulders and pressed him down on the bed.

“‘—and think about what you were doing the last time you remember having it.’”

“Okay. Let’s see . . .”

“No, wait,” interrupted Seraphina, putting up her pointer finger. “There’s more. Listen to what it says first. For step 4, they want us to recreate the whole scene. What you were feeling, doing, the flavors of the chips, and what you did next. We are supposed to recreate the whole thing.”

“I can’t. I’m too stressed,” he cried, and he ran his fingers through his hair again, dragging the life out of any hopeful curls.

“Okay, let me just see what else is left do, and then we’ll recreate the scene. Hmm. Oh, look! You already did step 5! Good job! ‘Get Help. If all else fails, ask someone to help you search. Other people won’t feel the same anxiety you might be feeling, so they can search with a clear head,’” read Seraphina.

“No. Not true,” interjected Dewey. “I’m anxious. No clear head. I’m getting stressed. Str-essed!”

“Okay,” began Seraphina, ignoring Dewey. “You were on the phone with us, and you got hungry. You wanted chips, put the phone down, and went to get them. Do you think you had your retainer then? How were you feeling?”

“Hungry,” answered Colin.

“And where did you go? What did you do? What kind of chips were they? Tell us more.”

“Yeah, Colin, tell us more,” poked Dewey, trying to join in and relax but his words came out a bit more sarcastic than he’d intended.

“Not helpful,” replied Seraphina.

“I was researching the history of toilet paper. I called you guys. You guys started talking about potato chips. That made me in the mood for some. I went to the kitchen, hoping we had some. We had a bag of Takis Fuegos. I grabbed the bag and ate them.”

“Not so fast,” replied Dewey, trying to be more helpful. “Where did you open them? You ate them with us on the phone to start? Or downstairs?”

“I tried to open them in the kitchen, but I couldn’t get the bag open until halfway up the stairs. I opened the bag with my teeth, so I pu—”

Colin jumped up, reached into his pocket, and took out his retainer.

“Oh.”

He plopped back down on his bed with a big sigh, and slipped his retainer back in his mouth.

Seraphina and Dewey each plopped down on the bed.

“‘Step 6: Order a retainer container.’”