NALINAKSHA’S acquaintance with Annada Babu and his daughter soon ripened into intimacy. Before she knew him Hemnalini had supposed that Nalinaksha’s discourse would be confined to spiritual matters and she had never imagined that one could converse as freely with him on everyday topics as one could with ordinary people. She soon found that he was quite capable of light conversation, and yet in the midst of the most animated talk he retained an air of aloofness.
On one occasion while Annada Babu and Hemnalini were conversing with Nalinaksha Jogendra burst in and addressed himself to his father. “I say, dad,” he exclaimed, “people in the Samaj have begun to call us Nalinaksha Babu’s ‘disciples,’ and I’ve just had a serious quarrel with Paresh about it!”
“I don’t consider it anything to take offence at,” said Annada Babu, smiling; “I should be ashamed to belong to a society in which all were teachers and none disciples. You’d have everybody lecturing at the top of his voice and there would be no chance to learn anything.”
Nalinaksha. “I’ll enrol myself under your banner, Annada Babu. Let us all be disciples. We’ll start on a round tour halting at any place where we’re likely to learn something.”
Jogendra, however, was not to be appeased. “That’s all very well,” he said, “but it’s a serious matter. Why, Nalin Babu, your own friends and relations won’t be allowed to visit you without being dubbed your ‘disciples.’ One can’t laugh away an insult like that. You really should give up these practices of yours.”
Nalinaksha. “What practices?”
Jogendra. “I’ve been told that you breathe through your nostrils like a Yogi, and gaze at the rising sun, and that you can’t eat or drink without all sorts of ceremonial. The result is that you’re out of place— ‘out of the scabbard’ as we say — in ordinary society.”
Hemnalini dropped her eyes in disgust at Jogendra’s unmannerly outburst, but Nalinaksha only smiled.
“Well, Jogen Babu,” he replied, “I admit that the man who is out of place in ordinary society must be at fault, but surely no human being, any more than a sword, should always remain in the scabbard? The part of a sword which the scabbard conceals is the essential part of the weapon, common to all swords. It is on the hilt that the artificer displays his individual craftsmanship in whatever design suits his taste. Similarly a human being finds scope for exhibiting his own peculiar pattern outside society’s scabbard and you surely would not wish to deprive him of that liberty! But what astonishes me is how people can see and find opportunity to discuss what I do out of the public eye in the privacy of my own room.”
Jogendra. “You are perhaps unaware that those who have imposed on themselves the task of regenerating the world consider it their bounden duty to discover what is going on in their neighbours’ houses. Even when knowledge is lacking they call in another faculty to supply the deficiency. It must be so, otherwise the process of remodelling the world would be arrested. Besides, Nalin Babu, it is when one does unconventional things, even in supposed privacy, that people take notice. Observe the ordinary conventions and no one will waste a glance on you. Why, Hem here has noticed your proceedings on the roof of your house and she told dad about them, though she hasn’t assumed the task of regenerating you!”
Hemnalini’s expression dearly showed the indignation that she felt. She was about to speak when Nalinaksha turned to her.
“There is nothing to be ashamed of! If you happened to be taking the air on the roof at the time of my morning or evening worship you did nothing wrong. You needn’t be ashamed of possessing a pair of eyes; that’s a crime of which we are all guilty!”
Annada. “What’s more, Hem never told me that she disapproved of your daily worship. She simply, and in all reverence, questioned me about your devotional practices.”
Jogendra. “Well the fact is I don’t understand your point of view. I find no discomfort in the ordinary course of human life and conduct and I can’t see the advantage of carrying on strange practices in secret. That sort of thing tends to upset the mind’s balance and make a man one-sided. You mustn’t take offence because I say so. I’m a very commonplace person. I occupy one of the lowest seats in the world’s theatre and have no means of reaching those who sit in the high places except by throwing bricks at them. There are innumerable people like myself, so if you leave them behind and climb into an unreal world of your own you become the target of innumerable bricks.”
Nalinaksha. “Well, there are bricks and bricks. Some only graze, others leave a mark. Call a man mad or childish and no harm is done, but call him a religious maniac, accuse him of setting himself up as a prophet and trying to gather disciples round him, and all the laughter in the world is insufficient to laugh the charge out of court!”
Jogendra. “I must beg you again not to take offence, Nalin Babu. Do what you please on your own roof, I have no right to object. My only comment is that so long as one keeps oneself within the limits of convention no occasion for remark arises. Personally, I’m quite content to tread the same path as other people. Once you overstep the boundaries a crowd collects. Whether it scoffs or prays is immaterial. Life in the middle of a crowd would be insupportable!”
Nalinaksha. “Hallo, where are you off to, Jogen Babu? You have just hurled me down from the housetop to the prosaic level of the ground floor and you want to rush away. This will never do!”
Jogendra. “I’ve had enough for to-day. I’m going out for a walk.”
After her brother’s exit Hemnalini sat with downcast eyes nervously fingering the fringe of the tablecloth. Close inspection would have revealed tear-drops trembling on her eyelashes. Daily contact with Nalinaksha had laid bare to her her own failings of character and she strove passionately to follow in the track that he had indicated. In her hour of trial, when she cast about in vain for some external or internal support, Nalinaksha had shown her the world in a new aspect, and now as time went on she became more and more enamoured of the idea of subjecting herself, after the fashion of a devotee, to a stern self-discipline which in itself would serve as a support.
Moreover sorrow is an emotion which is not content to exist merely as a certain frame of the mind. It seeks to find an outlet in the performance of some difficult task. Hitherto Hemnalini had not been able to nerve herself to any such effort and in her shrinking from publicity she had cherished her grief in the most secret chambers of her heart. Great was the relief when she formed the resolution to follow in Nalinaksha’s footsteps and subject herself to an austere ordinance and a fleshless diet. In pursuance of her decision she stripped her room bare. Carpet and rugs were lifted and stored away, and her bed was hidden behind a screen. Every day she sprinkled water on the floor with her own hands and swept it clean. A flower-bowl was the only ornament that she retained. After bathing she would dress in spotless white and seat herself on the floor, while the sunshine poured unobstructed through the open windows and flooded the room, and she steeped her whole being in the light and the winds of heaven.
Annada Babu could not rise to the same height of religious ecstasy as his daughter, but the old man rejoiced at the radiance that her self-imposed discipline imparted to Hemnalini’s face. When Nalinaksha visited the house it was on the floor of Hemnalini’s room that the trio sat and held converse.
Jogendra voiced his disapproval loudly. “I don’t know what has come over you all,” he snarled. “Between the three of you you’ve made nearly the whole house holy ground; there’s hardly a spot where a fellow like me can set foot.”
There was a time when Hemnalini would have been deeply offended by her brother’s taunts, but now, though Annada Babu’s temper occasionally gave way under the lash of Jogendra’s sarcasm, Hemnalini followed Nalinaksha’s lead and merely smiled sweetly. She had at last found a sure, unfailing, and complete support, and to be ashamed would have been contemptible weakness. That her acquaintances derided her austerity as mere eccentricity she knew full well, but her trust in Nalinaksha and her admiration for his ideals armed her against all mankind and she faced the world unabashed.
One morning she had bathed and finished her devotions and was sitting in the solitude of her chamber before the open window absorbed in meditation when Annada Babu ushered in Nalinaksha. Hemnalini’s heart was full to over-flowing. With a gesture of reverence, due only to an honoured parent or a venerated preceptor, she prostrated herself before each in turn and touched the dust of their feet, much to Nalinaksha’s confusion.
Annada Babu, however, reassured him. “Don’t be embarrassed, Nalinaksha Babu,” he said, “she is only doing what is right.”
Nalinaksha had never visited them so early in the morning and Hemnalini glanced up expectantly at his face. He explained that he had just heard from Benares that his mother was ill; he would have to leave Calcutta by the night train, and as the whole day would be taken up with preparations for the journey he had come thus early to bid them farewell.
“I’m greatly distressed to hear of your mother’s illness,” said Annada Babu. “May Heaven soon restore her to health. I shall never be able to repay you for all the help you have given us during the past weeks.”
“It is I who am in your debt, I assure you,” Nalinaksha replied. “You showed true neighbourly feeling in the trouble that you took to make me comfortable next door. Moreover your earnestness has given a new meaning to the profound problems on which I have been meditating for some time past. Your manner of life has been an inspiration to me in my speculations and my devotions and has made them appear doubly efficacious. The benefit to be derived from communion with fellow-creatures who share the same aspirations has been brought home to me.”
“The strange thing,” resumed Annada Babu, “is that before we knew you, we stood in sore need of something that we could not define, At this juncture you suddenly appeared on the scene and I realised that your help was indispensable. We are stay-at-home folk who do not go much into society and we never shared the craze for attending meetings and listening to speeches; even if I went myself it was very difficult to persuade Hem to stir. What happened then was in the nature of a miracle. As soon as we heard from Jogen that you were to lecture we went straight off to hear you without the slightest demur — quite an unprecedented thing, I assure you, Nalin Babu! Such a thing could never have happened had you not been marked out by Providence to assist us. We are eternally in your debt.”
Nalinaksha. “Let me tell you something in my turn. I have never disclosed the intimate facts of my life to any one but yourselves. To reach the highest pitch of truthfulness one must lay bare all secrets and it is your help that has enabled me to comply with this insistent requirement. I must impress on you accordingly how indispensable you have been to me.”
Hemnalini took no part in the conversation but sat in silent contemplation of the sunshine, that glowed through the windows and lit up the floor around her, till Nalinaksha was about to take leave. Then she simply said, “Be sure to let us know how your mother is,” and as he rose to depart she prostrated herself before him once more.