So now you’ve met the three members of the Bubble Street Gang. That’s the name of our club (don’t say it out loud, it’s a secret). It comes from the name of the street we all live on, except that that’s actually Berbel Street (pronounced Burrrr-ble Street). Lots of people pronounce it wrong – as ‘Bubble Street’ – even the postman, but I can’t really blame them. I used to say it wrong too. Until I was five, that is.
Still, we all decided that Bubble Street Gang sounds better than Berbel Street Gang (which sounds kind of lame), so that’s what we are. The Bubble Street Gang. Anyway, back to the story.
We crept down the lane beside Mr McCall’s field under cover of daylight (under cover of darkness would have been better, but it was four o’clock in the afternoon), and met our first obstacle. It was a cow. Or a bull, I’m not sure which. It was a large, light-brown, cow-like animal that stood between us and the hedge. It stared over the fence and chewed really slowly, like it was hatching an evil plan.
‘I don’t get it,’ said Lex. ‘Mr McCall’s never had a cow before.’
‘It’s a bull,’ said Nicholas. ‘A cow would have udders.’
‘Whatever it is,’ I said, ‘it’s standing between us and our clubhouse. One of us will have to shoo it to the other end of the field.’
I waited for someone to volunteer. There was silence for about five minutes.
‘Oh, come on,’ I said, ‘it’s not like it’s a lion. You just have to say “shoo” and wave your hands and it’ll move.’
‘Off you go, then,’ said Nicholas.
‘Fine then, I will.’
To my friends I know I looked like a casual hero climbing over the fence with no regard for my own safety, but I was actually a little bit nervous. The bull kept blowing loudly out its nose which made my knees feel wobbly. I stayed a good distance away from it and said, ‘Here, bull-y, bull-y, bull-y. Who’s a good bull, huh?’
‘It’s not a dog,’ said Nicholas, standing safely in the muddy lane. ‘You have to treat it like a cowboy would.’
‘What would a cowboy know about bulls?’
‘That’s their job, herding cows. They’re cowboys.’
I rolled my eyes. ‘Nicholas, you’re so gullible, that’s just a name. Cowboys ride horses.’
He rolled his eyes back at me and Lex jumped.
‘Cass, look out!’
The bull had taken two steps in my direction. Then he stood still again and kept chewing.
‘Actually,’ I said, quickly climbing back over the fence, ‘I think this bull might not shoo. He doesn’t look very bright to me.’
‘You mean he looks scary,’ said Nicholas.
‘No, he looks dim, and everybody knows dim cows don’t shoo.’
‘So we can’t make our clubhouse here,’ said Lex.
It seemed that way until I suddenly saw the value in a scary bull that doesn’t shoo.
‘Of course we can make it here, it’s even more perfect!’
‘How’s that?’ said Nicholas.
‘The bull will scare off any intruders trying to get into our secret clubhouse. He’ll be like a security guard.’
‘Why would a secret clubhouse that nobody knows exists need a security guard?’
‘Stop naysaying, Nicholas, no one likes a naysayer.’
‘What’s a naysayer?’
‘A person who says nay a lot.’
‘I didn’t say nay, I don’t even know what nay means.’
‘It means no.’
‘I didn’t say no either.’
‘I think a bull security guard sounds great,’ said Lex, ‘but how do we get to the secret clubhouse?’
‘Easy,’ I said. ‘From the other side of the hedge.’
Nicholas gave me a disbelieving look but I pretended that it wasn’t a big deal. And it really wasn’t that big a deal.
The thing on the other side of the hedge that wasn’t a big deal was a huge, wide, deep ditch with a stream running through it, that is impossible to cross.
‘We can jump it,’ I said.
‘No,’ said Nicholas.
‘Run and jump. If we run really fast and then jump, right at the edge, we’ll totally make it.’
‘No.’
‘No way,’ said Nicholas, ‘it’s far too dangerous.’
I started lecturing Nicholas on his lack of commitment to the clubhouse, and he started lecturing me on safety in the workplace, and while we were arguing Lex jumped the stream. Totally jumped it. Like a giant frog. She ran really fast to the edge, jumped, grabbed hold of a saggy branch that was hanging over the ditch, and swung to the other side. She did land in a heap in a bramble bush, but apart from that it was a 10.0.
I don’t think I’ve mentioned it yet, but Lex likes to climb things, and hang off things, and jump off other things. She’s kind of like a monkey but without the tail. Lex can be pretty chatty with the gang, but she doesn’t talk much in front of other people. She’s shy and prefers to express herself through dangerous stunts. One time her parents made her sign up for the school play, hoping it would make her less shy, but Lex was a no-show on the night. When her cue came she never appeared. Her parents didn’t get to see her on stage, but if they had looked up they would have seen her dangling from the rafters.
After she’d crawled out of the bramble bush, Lex brushed herself off and said, ‘Hang on a sec,’ before diving back in. She reappeared dragging a plank of wood.
‘Where did you get that?’ I said.
‘It was under the bushes. I think it’s a broken bit off the fence.’
And, hey presto, we had a bridge to the secret clubhouse!
Now all we needed was an actual clubhouse, and I’d just seen the perfect spot – prepare to be green with envy. Here it is, the site of the soon-to-be clubhouse. It was too perfect to describe in words, so I had to draw a diagram.
The Clubhouse
Phase 1: Location confirmed
I bet you’re impressed. No? Really? You will be.
Imagine walls surrounding the space in the middle (maybe with a window if we can manage it), with an actual door that opens and closes, and a paddling pool (without water in it, obviously) hanging over the big branch as a waterproof roof. The paddling pool bit was my idea. Go on, call me a genius, you know you want to.
All right, so we had the perfect location for the clubhouse – complete with secret bridge entrance and giant snorting security guard – all we needed now were the materials to build it. This was going to take some thinking, and some borrowing and, if we get desperate, some stealing (is it still stealing if you’re stealing from your own shed at home? I’m not sure, but I think probably not … don’t tell my parents though).