Chapter Eight

Now…

“Isn’t that your sister Rachel’s car?” Whitney asked as she and Trent pulled into his family’s home that Sunday.

She’d been successful in dodging Jess’s calls and texts about getting together at the B&B with Sarah all week, her workload at the office only part of the reason she was steering clear of her friends: the rest of it the secret she was keeping and the fact that she knew their perceptiveness would catch her recent weight loss and the ever-increasing dark circles her concealer was no longer effectively hiding. For now, everyone assumed it was work stress and, as usual, her inability to slow down.

But after missing the previous few Sunday family get-togethers at the Connollys’, she couldn’t skip this one, too, and besides, she missed Frankie. Not seeing her as often as before was tough when she’d been a second mother to Whitney for years and, most recently, the only one she could still truly connect with and get advice from.

She may not have that much longer, and the thought of everything she’d be losing if she lost Trent made it hard to breathe.

Whitney scanned the street in front of the large bungalow, and panic settled in its familiar comfort zone deep in her chest, seeing other family members’ cars as well. “What’s everyone doing here?”

Trent put the Jeep in park and turned to her. “Mom’s planning a little extra-special dinner, that’s all.” He reached across and brushed her curls from her shoulder, letting his hand rest there.

It didn’t provide the intended comfort. Her heart raced. Had she been set up? What was she walking into? An intervention where they all demanded she set a wedding date and pick colors and a cake design and—

She forced a breath. “Why?”

Trent took her hand and squeezed it. “Don’t worry. It’s nothing extravagant. Just dinner with our family.”

Our family. The whole family. Those words burned a hole in her chest.

“Come on.” Getting out of the Jeep, he walked around the front while she gathered her things, and he opened her door for her. He took her hand as they made their way up the front steps, the railings decorated with fake cobwebs and several menacing-looking spiders on them.

The urge to jump back into the Jeep and drive away was overwhelming. Inside would be a chaos of love, laughter, and fun, and she was void of all those feelings right now. How was she supposed to pretend in front of everyone that everything was okay? But until she told Trent the truth, what other choice did she have but to keep going along with this?

She’d barely had the strength to keep her eyes open all day. These random bouts of exhaustion irritated her. She had so much to do, and when she did take an afternoon off, it would be nice to be able to actually enjoy it, instead of just wanting to spend the time sleeping. Three cups of coffee today were the only things propelling her body forward.

Opening the door, the familiar sounds and the scent of homemade baked pumpkin pie hit her like the crashing wave she’d been expecting, but not fully prepared for, leaving her with a helpless sensation of drowning. Spending time here with all of them would only make things that much harder if she was forced to end the relationship with Trent.

“Whitney!” Trent’s sister Kara was the first to notice them, and Whitney braced herself for the hug as she came toward them, a mojito in hand.

“Hi, Kara. Great to see you,” she said, hugging her quickly. She needed to start distancing herself. Just in case her test results proved that there was nothing the doctors could do to fix her.

“You too!” Kara said, pulling back to eye her. “Where’ve you been?”

“Work’s been crazy.” It was her go-to excuse. Everyone had to be tired of hearing it by now, even though it was true.

“I get it. This semester’s courses are kicking my ass.” Kara was a premed student at UCLA.

“You’ll get through them. You always do,” Whitney said. Kara bordered on genius, graduating high school at sixteen and completing her first-year university courses by correspondence, since she was still too young to leave home and go live on campus in L.A. She had a consistently perfect GPA, and her empathetic nature left no doubt that she’d make a fantastic doctor someday.

She’d be the best person to have on her side through her illness…if only Whitney could talk to her about it.

Trent cleared his throat next to her. “Hello? Your brother’s here, too.”

Kara ignored him, her question directed at Whitney. “Like my hair? I took your advice and added the blue,” she said, lowering her head to show off the blue streak down the center of the shaved mohawk style she’d sported since before it was cool.

“It looks great.” If anyone could pull off the edgy, short hairstyle, it was Kara with her petite, pretty features and small frame. Unlike Trent, all his sisters were short and petite. And the hairstyle suited Kara’s personal style of ripped denim and full-sleeve tattoos.

“You look even more like a parrot now,” Trent said, finally getting her attention.

“Jerk.”

“Hey, you guys! Kara, let them come in,” Rachel said, appearing in the foyer. She was radiant, from her long, dark hair to her manicured pink toes…her six-month baby bump visible in the flattering maternity dress she wore.

The sight nearly killed Whitney. She’d forgotten that Rachel was pregnant again.

“Yes, come in. I actually brought someone for you both to meet,” Kara whispered. “Mom’s showing her embarrassing baby photos right now.” She turned to Trent. “And you—no more stealing my girlfriends.”

“That was one time before I was happily betrothed to this fantastic lady,” Trent said, wrapping his arm around Whitney and kissing her head.

Whitney tried to laugh at the story she’d heard before, but their playful banter just increased the feeling of anxiety weighing on her.

Soon, Trent could be on the market again. God, what if she saw him around town with someone else? Blue Moon Bay was going to become a lot smaller, and reminders of him and them together would be everywhere. Hell, she was best friends with his cousin.

How would this ever be okay? Would she have to move?

Inside the living room, they were greeted by the rest of the family.

“Uncle Trent!” Aaron, Trent’s oldest nephew, called out as a Nerf football sailed past Whitney’s head.

Trent caught it effortlessly, but Rachel scolded him. “Hey, that could have hit Whitney. No playing ball in the house.”

“Nah, Uncle Trent never misses a pass,” Aaron said. “And I’m just getting warmed up for today’s game, Mom.”

The family’s traditional game of football after dinner. Whenever they were all together, they could make two teams of six, and the competitive spirit among the siblings was high. Something Whitney used to enjoy as well, but with her swollen ankles and spotty vision today, she’d be sitting this one out.

“Think fast,” Trent said, tossing it back.

“Trent! You are a bad influence on him,” Rachel said, but she laughed.

“That’s why I’m the favorite uncle,” he said.

“Yeah, well, just wait until you have your own,” she said, intercepting another pass from her son with ease. “Whoa! Look at that—pregnant and all.”

“You’re a superstar, sis,” Kara told her. “Come into the kitchen,” she said to Whitney, leading the way. “And be honest, okay…my last two relationships haven’t exactly gone well, so I’m not trusting my own judgment anymore. From now on, I’m polling the family opinion.”

“We’ll give it to you straight,” Trent said, following close behind.

“I wasn’t talking to you. I meant I want Whitney’s opinion,” Kara said as they entered the kitchen.

Unfortunately, Whitney wasn’t sure hers should be considered in a family poll anymore, but she nodded.

“Hi, you two,” Frankie said, putting Kara’s baby album away and standing to hug them.

Whitney breathed in the familiar soft floral scent that she’d come to associate with Frankie. Warm, inviting, like the woman herself. “Great to see you, Frankie.”

Relief washed over the woman’s face. “Oh, good.”

Frankie hugged Trent, then gestured another woman forward. “Trent, Whitney, this is Arielle, Kara’s new girlfriend.”

The young woman looked around the same age as Kara, about twenty-two, if Whitney had to guess, but she was only about four foot nine and maybe a hundred pounds. Even smaller than Kara, and Whitney hadn’t thought it was possible.

“You are not on my team for football,” Trent said, extending a hand to her.

The girl laughed. “You may regret that. I played rugby in high school. Division champs.”

Trent put an arm around her shoulder. “On second thought…”

“Your brothers-in-law are outside, pretending to check the rain gutters but really trying to avoid any actual work in the kitchen… Why don’t you join them?” Frankie said to Trent, giving him a slight shove toward the kitchen door.

He glanced at her. “You good?”

So far from good, but she nodded. She wouldn’t ruin today for him or Frankie. Or the rest of the family who’d made the drive in. “Of course.”

He kissed her cheek, then grabbed a beer from the cooler and headed outside.

From the window, Whitney could see him shake hands with his brothers-in-law and then set his drink aside to chase after the little ones playing tag in the yard. Squeals of delight and laughter drifted in through the open windows. A sound that used to give her so much hope about their future together.

“Man, the kids adore him,” Kara said, standing next to her, her arm draped around Arielle’s shoulders.

“The feeling’s mutual,” Whitney said.

“Hey, now that the men are gone, Whitney, could I steal you for just a second?” Frankie asked.

“Sure.”

She followed the woman down the hall, scanning the row of family photos she’d seen a thousand times. School pictures from kindergarten to graduation. She loved seeing Trent grow from a shy, small kid to the confident star quarterback. A large family photo was on the far wall, a picture of all of them on the beach three years before, while Trent’s father was still alive.

“In here,” she said, stopping outside her bedroom. “I have something for you.”

“Frankie, you shouldn’t have.”

“Well, it’s not really from me,” she said, going to the closet and reaching for a small garment bag. She unzipped it and took out a beautiful antique white wedding veil. A tiara of pearls and small diamonds made up the headpiece, and soft, delicate lace hung down from it.

Whitney’s breath caught in her throat, recognizing it. “My mom’s veil.”

“It’s so beautiful. She gave it to me about a week before she moved into Rejuvenation.” Frankie handed it to her. “She wanted you to have it, but she wasn’t sure…”

Whitney nodded, the lump in her throat so big, it threatened to suffocate her. She fingered the row of beads, afraid to speak, to look at Frankie. Fear of the truth spilling out overwhelming her. This moment was bittersweet. Her mother should have been the one giving her this. Her cruel illness stealing this opportunity from them made Whitney angry…and now her own illness destroying what should have been a special moment with Frankie made everything seem wrong.

“I’m not sure if you’ve thought about your dress—and no pressure at all. I just want you to know that if you want to wear this, we can certainly find fabric at the shop in a shade that matches perfectly with the antique white. And I’m really good at embroidering beads.”

The soft pleading in the woman’s voice brought tears to her eyes. Frankie’s kindness was pure torture. She was nervous that she wouldn’t be a part of Whitney’s plans, and she was so lovingly providing her support without overstepping that it just made all of this so much worse. Frankie was so patient and understanding. She wasn’t pressuring her or asking for answers. She’d been so lucky to have her in her life this long.

After Trent, she’d miss Frankie the most if things ended.

“Frankie, I’d be honored to wear any dress that you make.”

The “but” on the tip of her tongue refused to vocalize as she saw the look of joy on the woman’s face.

Sadness and disappointment would come between them. But she didn’t have the courage to cause it today.

…

“You missed the turnoff,” Whitney said hours later, glancing up from her phone in the passenger seat.

“No, I didn’t,” Trent said, hoping this executive decision in the final seconds wouldn’t blow up in his face. “I thought we’d take a quick detour.”

Whitney sighed as she looked at him. “Where?”

“You’ll see.”

“Trent…”

“Whitney…” He echoed her tone. “Just trust me. I’ll have you at the office in an hour.”

She had agreed to come to dinner at his family’s house today if he promised to be okay with her going into the office later to catch up on work, before the busy week started. He intended to keep the promise, but watching her at his mom’s house, he’d seen her yawn at least a dozen times and saw her stretching her legs quite a bit. He’d noticed her massaging her temples when she didn’t think he was watching, and despite participating in the family’s conversation at dinner, she seemed distracted.

She needed a break. She needed to take a moment. And while he held her captive in the Jeep, he was going to make sure she took one.

“Fine,” she said, but she shifted in the seat and checked her watch.

He was on the clock. He had exactly an hour before her butt needed to be in her office chair.

A few minutes later, he turned off the main road onto the familiar gravel road, and she lifted her head and scanned their surroundings. He studied her expression and waited.

Please be cool with this.

If there was one place he could take her where she might actually enjoy herself, it was here. If this didn’t work, he was out of ideas.

A hint of a smile appeared on her tired-looking face, and her shoulders relaxed slightly. “The pumpkin patch?”

Whitney may not be a Halloween fan for its creepiness and frights, but she always loved visiting the pumpkin patch in the fall. They’d spend hours getting lost in the corn maze, enjoying the hayrides, and picking out the most perfect pumpkins in the field.

They hadn’t gone the year before, and he’d missed their yearly tradition. He knew if he’d tried to schedule it in her calendar this year, the idea would be met with excuses, so kidnapping her for an hour was the only way.

And he was glad he took the risk, when her mood seemed to lighten as they drove under the archway into the parking lot.

She unbuckled her seat belt, and they climbed out. He took her hand in his as they made their way to the entrance and paid their admittance. He fastened the orange armband on her wrist before putting on his own, and then they headed through the decorated gates.

The familiar sight warmed him like a pumpkin spice latte. The old farm was decorated exactly the same way every year, with stacks of climbable hay bales for kids, a tractor hayride making its way through the fields. Tall cornstalks formed the annual maze that changed every year, which he and Whitney could never figure out without the help of clues. There were vegetable stands set up and a hot chocolate and cookie hut. Small gift shops sold fall and Halloween decorations and homemade fudge and a small, kid-friendly haunted house was in the old barn. Kids’ crafts and activities were set up under dome tents along the edge of the property.

The crunchy fall leaves and the slightly muddy ground beneath their feet along with the slight chill in the air on the sunny, bright day was the perfect atmosphere for the outing.

He hoped someday they’d be taking their own children here. Continuing the tradition as a family. He kept that thought to himself, though, for fear of ruining the light mood that had wrapped around Whitney as they entered.

“What do you want to do first?” he asked.

“Um…I could use some hot chocolate for the hayride,” she said with a small smile, as though reluctant to enjoy the moment but losing a battle with herself.

He struggled to hide his happiness and relief. In that moment, she seemed exactly like her old self. Her eyes, still tired, held a vibrancy he hadn’t seen in a long time, and color had even seemed to return to her cheeks. Of course, it could be the cool breeze, but he’d take it. She was outside. She was relaxed. She was spending time with him without her cell phone in her hand, and she wanted to eat. Or at least drink hot chocolate.

He couldn’t believe the transformation. If he’d known this place held this kind of power, he’d have brought her here sooner.

Damn, it was tempting to drag her butt there every day.

They approached the hot chocolate stand, and she pointed to the biggest cup they had. “I’ll take one of those, please.”

The young girl working behind the counter, dressed in a plaid jacket and matching hat, smiled. “Marshmallows, whipped cream, or chocolate sprinkles?”

“All of the above?” Whitney said.

The girl laughed. “Good choice.”

“I’ll have the same,” Trent said. He sent a quick glance at Whitney as they waited. She was looking around at the festivities, and the expression on her face had his chest actually aching. He hadn’t realized how much seeing her happy made him happy. He’d do anything to ensure that expression stayed as long as possible.

“Here you go. Enjoy!” The young girl placed their cups in front of them, and Trent handed over the three dollars, which did not seem even close to enough to cover the cost of watching his fiancée take a sip and close her eyes as she savored the rich flavors.

He’d empty his bank account to witness her lick the whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles off the top every day of the week.

“Hayride?” he said.

“Lead the way.”

They carried their hot chocolate to the waiting farm tractor and climbed on board the hay bales in the back with several families. Trent wrapped an arm around her. She snuggled into him as they bumped along the uneven terrain, and he held her tight.

The kids across from them laughed as they were shaken around, and he was about to comment on how cute they were bundled in their little thermal vests and sweaters, hats, and mittens, but he bit his tongue.

No more mentioning children, which seemed to set Whitney off lately. Just like the wedding plans, he was leaving it to her. She’d bring up the subject when she was ready.

Unfortunately, she didn’t even seem to notice the kids as she tilted her head back toward the sun, smiling as the fresh air blew through her blond hair. Disappointment threatened to ruin his mood, so he pushed thoughts of the future away as he held her tight and sipped his hot chocolate.

Enjoy the moment. This moment here with her right now.

The future could wait, and maybe he needed to stop living for what was next and focus on what they had.

The ride stopped a few minutes later, and he jumped down, extending a hand to her. She hopped off, and he checked his watch. Forty minutes and counting. “What’s next?”

“The corn maze?”

He hesitated. “That may take a little longer than forty minutes. You know how we get lost.”

Whitney stood on tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I won’t hold you to the time promise.”

He had to fight to keep his jaw from dropping. If they could just stay here forever…

“Okay, well, remember you said that,” he said, kissing her gently, his heart feeling as though for the first time in a long time, he had his fiancée back.

…

Whitney’s sides ached from laughing as she and Trent hit another dead end in the maze. “Why are these damn things so hard?”

Trent turned in a circle and jumped several times, trying to use even more height to see over the cornstalks. “I could have sworn we were supposed to go left at the scarecrow holding a shovel.”

Whitney moved closer and placed her hands on his chest. “I think you’re getting us lost on purpose.” And she didn’t care one little bit.

She couldn’t quite explain the magic of this place or its effect on her, but since she was a small child, her family had visited the farm every year, and the tradition and the wonderful memories always seemed to lift her spirits instantly, from the moment she smelled the hot chocolate, saw the pumpkins, and enjoyed the activities.

Trent bringing her here today had been just the break she hadn’t wanted to admit she needed. Taking time off always seemed like a bad idea. As though the work would pile up and she’d fall further behind. Any other time, she’d be stressed and not enjoy the time off anyway. But today, she felt better than she had in a long time.

She’d forgotten how much she missed this time with Trent.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she stood on tiptoes to place a kiss on his lips. The taste of chocolate lingered on him, and he smelled like the fresh fall air.

He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off her feet as he kissed her back. She felt the passion and desire in his kiss but also a happiness and a sense of relief. As though he’d gotten her back.

But for how long…?