Chapter Twenty-Six

Now…

Concentrating on anything else while Whitney was lying in a hospital bed across town was impossible. He couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t eat. Working used to provide a distraction, but being at the bar only made him feel guilty and stressed that he wasn’t by her side at the hospital.

But she didn’t want him there. She’d pushed him away. He had no idea where things stood between them, and now their relationship was the least of his worries. She was sick and needed a bone marrow transplant. He’d gotten tested along with all the others, but unfortunately, he hadn’t matched.

Feeling helpless was the hardest damn thing.

“Hey, man. Why don’t you go home and get some sleep?” Max said, coming up behind him.

Home.

The only home he had was the one he’d shared with Whitney. One he was pretty sure wasn’t his home anymore. He’d been staying at the bar, showering at the sports facility after workouts, and hadn’t even started to look for a new place yet. A part of him had been holding out hope of the two of them getting through this, reconciling, and getting back together. He hadn’t truly believed that it was over.

But her not wanting him to be there for her during the hardest part of her life made things that much more real. She really didn’t want a future with him, and he knew she was pushing him away, had ended things because of her illness, but he wasn’t sure what he could do to try to change her mind.

He should have tried harder at the hospital to force her to let him be there, but seeing her so tired and sick, asking him to leave, he hadn’t been able to add to her pain.

He shook his head. “That won’t help.” Staying busy at least allowed him to stop focusing solely on the what-ifs plaguing him.

What if they didn’t find a match? What if she didn’t get better? He’d lost her a week ago. But what if he really lost her?

He couldn’t even think about that.

“You know, I think I will head out,” he said, grabbing his jacket from the hook and tossing the bar keys to Max. “Lock up?”

“You got it,” Max said. “Take care, man.”

Outside, he climbed into his Jeep and drove across town to his family home. It was the only place he’d find any comfort right now. His mom knew everything, and therefore she was the only person he could truly talk to. Or sit in conflicted silence with.

Going inside, he found his mom in the kitchen. Plastic Tupperware containers filled the counter space, and several pots were simmering on the stove. The smell of roast and pasta and stew all mixing together. This was what she did when she was worried: She cooked. And by the looks of the recipes, she was as worried as he was.

“Hey, Mom,” he said, slumping onto a stool at the counter. His shoulders sagged, and every muscle in his body ached with tension.

“How is she?” Frankie asked, turning to face him as she stirred a pot.

“Same. They’re still waiting to find a match.”

“I got tested the other day,” she said. “I wanted to go see her while I was there, but I wasn’t sure…” Her voice trailed, sounding sad.

He nodded his understanding. This couldn’t be easy on his mom, who loved Whitney like a daughter. They were all navigating this with confusion and sadness and no freaking idea how to proceed. What was the right protocol to follow in an emergency situation after a breakup?

“Jess is keeping me posted,” he said. “Whitney doesn’t want me there.” He ran a hand through his hair, then rested his elbows on the counter, clenching his shaky hands together.

His mother sent him a sympathetic look. “This has to be torture on you. I don’t know what to do with myself when I’m not at the shop.” She gestured to the cooking.

“It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to survive. I don’t know what to do. I want to barge into that hospital room and insist to be there next to her through this whole thing, but I know that will only make things worse. I want to respect her wishes, but it’s so damn hard.” Whitney was strong and independent, and he knew she’d never lean on him right now.

“You look exhausted,” his mother said. “Why don’t you go lie down in the living room, and I’ll bring you something to eat.”

Trent wasn’t sure he’d be able to sleep, and he certainly didn’t have an appetite, but he nodded and headed into the living room.

When he did finally doze off, his dreams were all about Whitney.

…

As promised, Lia, Sarah, and Jess hadn’t left her side in two days. Normally, having them there, feeling vulnerable and needy, would have irritated her, but this time, Whitney was truly terrified, and she appreciated the love and support surrounding her.

Everyone she knew in town had gotten tested over the last few days. Even Trent, which made her even more conflicted. She missed him so much, craved the sight of him, the sound of his voice, his reassuring embrace... It physically hurt to think about him, so she tried to push him to the back of her mind as much as possible. Right now, she needed to focus on her health and use her strength to try to get through the next few weeks.

All she could do was hope. Which made her feel bad. If one of her friends was a match, they’d be going in for the procedure of the bone marrow transfer. She’d heard the process was much harder on the donor than it was for the recipient. The idea of putting any of them through that upset her, but she didn’t have a choice. Her own research into the state of her condition had revealed that without the transfer, she would only continue to get sicker, and eventually she would die.

She scanned the hospital room now. Jess slept in a chair, Sarah was curled in a ball at the foot of her bed, and Lia was sitting on the window ledge, her gaze somewhere out the window. She glanced her way, and seeing her awake, Lia got up and approached. “Hey, need anything?”

Whitney shook her head. “You three being here is more than enough.”

Lia gave a small smile. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be…except maybe on a girls’ trip to Maui.”

Whitney laughed, grateful that Lia was there. The other two were great sources of support, but Lia helped to keep the atmosphere light, despite the fact that she knew Lia was just as worried as everyone else.

“I promise, if I make it out of this bed, a girls’ trip to Maui is on the immediate agenda.” She meant it. No more prioritizing work above all else. No more skipped holidays and vacations for the sake of her career. Yes, she needed to be financially stable, but there was more to life. She deeply regretted that it had taken this to make her realize it. If she thought of all the things she’d missed out on and could potentially miss in the future, it was hard to breathe. She’d just focus on how she would approach things moving forward.

“When you get out of this bed. Not if,” Lia said. “We’re going to figure this out.” She sounded determined despite a hint of lack of confidence.

This had to be tough on Lia for other reasons, too. Whitney knew Lia had been a huge source of support for Wes’s first wife, Kelli, when she was sick with cancer. Lia had spent a lot of time in Blue Moon Bay back then at Kelli’s bedside. She hadn’t been a bone marrow match for Kelli, and Whitney knew Lia was really hoping she could be a match this time.

The doctor entered the room a few minutes later, and Lia woke the others. “Do you want us to leave?” she asked Whitney.

Whitney shook her head. “Please stay.” She never knew what kind of news to expect from Dr. Forester, and either way, she could use the support. The four of them stared at the doctor expectantly.

Dr. Forester smiled. “So…I have some good news.”

Oh, thank God!

Whitney’s heart soared, and she swallowed hard. “We have a match?” she said, barely more than a whisper.

Dr. Forester nodded and then turned to Lia. “Ready to do this?”

Tears rimmed Lia’s eyes. Her knees seemed to give way slightly in relief and she sat on the edge of the bed. She smiled and squeezed Whitney’s hand. “Let’s do it.”

In matching hospital gowns hours later, Lia and Whitney held hands as they were prepped for the procedure. IVs were injected, and they were briefed on the process.

“You sure?” Whitney asked Lia. This was such a big sacrifice her friend was making, and as much as she knew she needed this, it felt like such a big ask.

“There was never any question. I got you,” Lia said.

And for the first time in a long time, Whitney let go of the need to be in control, and she let her friend try to save her life.

…

The love of his life was getting a bone marrow transplant.

In the hospital cafeteria, Trent wrapped shaky hands around a coffee cup, the contents long ago having gone cold. He didn’t want to add any unnecessary stress to Whitney by going to see her, but he needed to be there in the hospital. Close by. He couldn’t do anything. But just being there felt like the smallest thing he could do. He couldn’t think about or focus on anything else. All he could do was sit and wait and pray.

He ran a hand through his hair and checked his watch. Jess had texted to say Lia and Whitney had been prepped right away and were going in for the transfer an hour ago. He wasn’t sure how long it would take, but he’d stay there all day. And all night.

“Hi.” Jess’s voice next to him made him glance up. “Thought you’d be here.”

“I didn’t want to come up…”

She nodded her understanding as she sat. “She’s going to be okay, and then the two of you can work this out.”

He swallowed hard. He desperately wanted to try to work things out, but did Whitney? Would this result in her wanting to try again or would it only solidify her claims that they weren’t right together? He knew she worried about not being able to give him the family he wanted. Would he be able to convince her that it didn’t matter? Would she give him that chance?

He should be the one next to her during all of this, but he also knew he needed to give her the space she’d asked for even when it left him with a huge hole in his chest.

“I’m glad she’s allowed you and Sarah and Lia to be here for her,” he said, squeezing his cousin’s hand. That was a huge step toward progress for Whitney. It also told him just how terrified she must be, and that made his chest ache even more.

“We’re all here for you. We’re rooting for you both,” Jess said gently.

He nodded, not trusting his voice to speak.

They sat in silence for a while, both lost in their own thoughts, drawing comfort from each other as they waited.

He had almost summoned the nerve to tell his cousin about Eddie when Jess’s cell chimed with a new text message. She reached for it quickly and read. Her face held a look of relief as she glanced up at him. “It’s Sarah. They’re out. The transfer went great.”

He released a sigh of relief. “What now?”

“More waiting and hoping for the best.”

Seemed these days, that’s all he could do.