Chapter Three

 

Cade was fighting his wolf’s insistence. Since he’d opened the door to the man, his wolf had been pacing inside, determined and almost aggressive with his adamancy. All Cade knew was it was wrong. He was being a friend. Dean was not his mate.

He couldn’t be.

“Oh, man. This is good.”

Cade peeked to his side. Dean was in epicurean heaven. His eyelids hovered half-closed, slowly enjoying what he was eating. The sheer pleasure on his features said everything.

“The ham?” Ed asked.

“Mm hm,” he replied, too engrossed to actually speak.

Ed smiled smugly. Cade spotted Jamie’s satisfied pleasure accompanied by a light blush on his face.

“Thanks, guys.”

“What did you do to it?”

“What? And give away my secret?” he said mysteriously, ruining it by laughing. “It’s actually something simple. I injected it.”

“With what? Pork crack?” Ed stuck a thick slice on a biscuit and tore into it. “I’m addicted.”

“It’s a broth injection. The details will go to the grave with me.”

“Damn.” Maya sighed. “Can’t I bribe you? This beats my Nana’s and that’s hard to do.”

Dean shifted on his chair following conversation and his leg brushed Cade’s under the table. Cade swallowed abruptly at the contact, the food on his tongue becoming a sudden lump. It went down feeling like a rock as it hit his stomach. Heat flashed and burned. He knew it was innocent. They were side by side. It wasn’t like he was playing with Cade under the table. Tremors shook his frame with the force of a small electrical current. He had to move. Suddenly he had to get away.

“Excuse me?” He jerkily stood and rushed from the room. Unsure where to go, he blindly opened the rear door. Once outside, he fell to the side of the house against his back, sucking hard breaths to clear his senses. The man’s scent was infiltrating his pores. He scrubbed his hands over his face, clawing with mental fingernails to find his balance.

He was failing so badly, it wasn’t funny.

“Hey, you okay?” Chris stood holding the door, watching with clear worry. “You hurt Jamie.”

“What?” The rush of his heart was making his ears ring.

“Running out like that. He’s been working for days for last night and this morning.”

“No. No, no. It’s… It’s not him. Not the food.” Fuck. He covered his face. “I’m okay. Just…give me a minute.”

Chris studied him, doubtful. “If you want to talk about something, you know Quade and I are here for you.”

Cade nodded, staring at the tips of his shoes, at nothing. “Yeah.” He shoved his fingers into his jeans pockets. He’d forgotten it was freezing out there. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

Chris waited for a drawn out moment then, thankfully, went inside without demanding explanations. He knew he didn’t have one to give. Cade knew he was being an ass. There was no reason for him to act this way. He didn’t know how to explain it. How to describe the heat. The need… He groaned, his head resting with a dull thud against the outer wood. Yes. Need. He had no idea what it was or what to do about any of it. He’d never even kissed a man. He repeated the cranial thwacks against the side of the house. He didn’t know how to deal with this, or his wolf.

So he ran.

It wasn’t like Dean was throwing himself at him. For all he knew, the man was straight. Accepting, but straight. He hadn’t given any signs otherwise. His breath left him to make a blustery cloud on a harsh exhale.

This was so wrong. He liked Dean. As a friend. Only as a friend.

The door opened. Expecting Chris again, or Jamie, he couldn’t have been more surprised to see Dean.

“Look, if my being here is that much of an issue—”

“Fuck.” It was a growl. “It’s not— They all like you.” It would have been so much easier if they hadn’t.

Dean closed the door to stand with him, to talk privately. “You don’t.”

Cade felt two feet tall hearing the man say that. He’d never wanted to make him think he wasn’t welcome, wasn’t liked. Dean seemed to be a great guy. But he was still a guy. Cade was fighting against his wolf, horns locked liked two bulls, when there was no question. Not to his mind.

“I don’t know why you invited me if you can’t stand me.”

Cade raked a hand through his hair, hitting the band and tugging against it. “I’m sorry. I swear…” He cleared his throat when it tightened, making him sound raw. “You’re fine. It’s me.”

“Prove it. I almost didn’t come because you gave this same vibe last night right before you left. I’m not stupid. You regretted it for some reason as soon as you offered. So let’s cut through the bullshit. Get your insane ass back in here and finish.” He sighed. “Then we’ll leave and you’ll never see me again.”

With that parting message, he opened the door and went inside. Where it was warm. Where his brothers were probably wondering what had crawled up his ass this morning.

Ed thought he’d been messed up last night.

Last night had nothing on today.

He had to get through his morning. He would drive Dean to his car and that would be the end of it. He’d never see the man again.

The echoing howl that decision produced almost drove him to his knees. He clutched his head. “No,” he snapped. “You are wrong.”

Battling his instincts and his wolf back into the shadows, he finally began to feel marginally in control again. He wiped a hand over his face, feeling the sheer cold on his skin. It bit at him, sharp and insistent.

Clouds of ice formed on the air with each panted breath. He shoved off the wall and reached for the doorknob. He didn’t want to ruin the morning for anyone. Jamie had worked his ass off to see last night’s Christmas party a success. This morning was about family.

It was time he acted like he was a part of it.

He walked up behind Jamie’s chair and leaned close enough to kiss his cheek. “I’m sorry, baby bro.”

Jamie wrapped a hand upward to curl over his head. “It’s okay. Go finish up.” He nudged Cade to take his seat.

Next to Dean.

He nodded to Dean as he did, glancing around the table. “It’s all good. Something I had to deal with.”

Those at the table who knew, would suspect his wolf, but they would be so far off the mark guessing what had agitated the beast. The question in Dean’s gaze was the one that killed him.

No. Cade didn’t dislike him. Didn’t hate the man. Dean’s opinion was so wrong, it was almost laughable.

He knew he should say something, but he couldn’t, and not in front of a dozen eyes. Hopefully, he’d be able to find the right words by the time they were leaving, because it wasn’t that long of a drive from Chris’ to Cade’s to try to correct the problems he was creating.

 

* * * *

Dean relaxed on his chair, stuffed to his eyeballs. He sipped on his coffee. “This was amazing. If this was some part of what you had last night, I’m jealous.” He’d had a cold burger for dinner.

Jamie ticked off items on his fingers. “There was the ham sliced with cheese and crackers, sandwiches, bacon bombs, fruit slices and dips.”

“Fudge and cookies,” Maya offered.

“And don’t forget the cider.” Ed drained his mug with an appreciative slurp.

“Stop!” Dean held up a hand, laughing. “You’re killing me.”

“What happened last night? You said Cade helped you out.” Chris pushed his cleaned plate forward.

“I own a bar in Cassan, Gemini’s. A birthday crowd showed up about ten thirty and refused to leave at close.”

“So Cade growled at them, right?” Jamie teased, ducking when Cade tossed a bread crust at him. He pressed into Chris’ shoulder, making a missed me face in Cade’s direction.

“No. One of them tried to start a fight, and Cade shut it down. By the time Sheriff Archer arrived, he had all but three out in the parking lot. We straightened up the mess they’d made in trying to cause the fight, and then he asked me to come here this morning.”

“We’re glad nothing serious happened,” Maya said with a generous smile.

“Any friend of Cade’s is welcome here,” Chris interjected.

Dean nodded, knowing it was the polite thing to say. He wasn’t disillusioned enough to think he was really a friend. Cade had made it perfectly clear. He should have paid better attention and heeded the warning signs when he saw them last night, rather than doubt his own tired judgment.

“I appreciate that,” he replied, keeping to the script. “I have to admit, you’ve got a good family here.” That he did mean. He studied the table. “Brothers, friends, husbands, and girlfriends. Well, one girlfriend,” he amended, tipping his head toward Maya. “How do you put up with all of them?”

She batted her lashes. “Practice. Lots and lots of practice.”

Snickers and guffaws circled the table.

She squealed when Quade goosed her. At least he guessed that was what made her bounce like a rabbit on her chair.

He wasn’t sure what was next, but there was definitely a laid back air to the morning.

“Cade, why don’t you give Dean the tour?” That was Chris.

Cade sat a little straighter. “Oh, um. Sure.” He faced Dean at the table. “Want to? You can meet the horses.”

“Sure.”

“Go ahead,” Chris nudged, sharing a look with Cade that Dean couldn’t decipher. “We’ll clean up. Fresh coffee and cider when you come in should hit the spot.”

Dean tipped his mug, getting the last drops. “If there’s more of this, I’ll do anything.”

“Anything?” Ed mused, rubbing his chin with pure contemplative villainy.

Dean quickly lifted his hands. “Okay, maybe not quite anything.”

“Nice save,” Duncan murmured, humor coloring his words.

“C’mon.” Cade tapped his shoulder. “We better run while the getting is good. I’ll grab our coats.”

Dean waited for him to return, buttoning up before he popped open the refrigerator to grab a few carrots. He followed through the rear door, both sauntering for the barn. Heavy clouds were building. It looked like the threat of Christmas snow was going to become a reality.

“In case you were wondering, that was my brother’s way of telling me to apologize.”

Dean walked at Cade’s shoulder. He knew Cade was a little taller, but now in sneakers, it wasn’t as much as he’d originally thought. “Apologize for what?” He curled fingers into fists in his pockets to keep them warm.

“For being an ass.”

“We all have those days.”

Cade opened the side door. “Yeah, but you didn’t do anything to deserve it.”

It was warmer in the barn. The scents of hay, grain, dust, and horse were thick in the air.

“So why ask me to come if you don’t like me?” Dean figured he had a right to know.

“It’s not that.” Cade grumbled, snapping the carrots in half as they cleared the barn. “I’ve been dealing with a lot of shit recently.”

“Oh?”

Cade walked up to a stall where a monster black horse lazily watched them. He started feeding the behemoth the carrot halves. “This is Tiberius, or Bear. He’s Chris’ wagon horse. The kids love him.”

“And the little guy?” A pert nose was pushing against the gate next to Bear’s stall.

“Biscuit. They’re best buds. Biscuit was a rescue. Chris took him in and he’s been here since.”

Dean scratched between Biscuit’s ears. Cade had slid right past his curiosity, so he expected for him to continue to ignore it. Cade surprised him when he didn’t.

“I don’t know how to explain it.”

“So try,” Dean offered, keeping his focus on horse mane and ears to not add pressure to the man at his side.

“Chris has Jamie. Quade met Maya.”

Dean understood. At least he thought this could be the problem. Cade had said he was the last man standing, so to speak. “And it’s making you feel like you need to hurry up and find yours.”

Cade snorted and leaned on his elbows a bit, petting Tiberius. “I guess.”

“Are they pressuring you?”

“No.”

Dean nodded, thinking. “So why the asshole act?”

Cade’s jaw worked back and forth.

“Okay, I get it. You have a gay brother. You don’t want any of them thinking you’re gay because you brought a male friend to breakfast. Is that it?” That irked him. Geez, the man had a gay brother, and friends. Did he really feel it was that much of an insult to be seen as gay himself?

“Chris knows I’m not.”

Dean’s hand faltered in its petting. Chris might know, but unless he was hearing things in the man’s voice, Cade wasn’t as sure. Now he was even more confused, trying to understand what wasn’t being said, or decide if he was imagining it.

“Forget it.” Cade stood straight and faced Dean. “It’s not you. I do mean that. And I’m not sorry for bringing you. Or for being your friend.”

“Friends?” He withheld the derisive snort. The man had fed him after all. Not sure how much leeway he could grant aside from that though.

“Yeah, man. We’re friends.” Cade gave him a smile. “It’s my problem, not yours. It’ll work itself out.”

He patted at Biscuit again. “Tell me something.”

“Shoot.” He handed over a carrot so Biscuit could get some.

“Do you have a problem with people being gay?” Dean kindly fed the patient animal. He seemed much calmer about it than the beast bumping and chomping against Cade hunting for more.

“Course not,” he said. “Whoever makes you happy isn’t my concern.”

Dean tossed that around for a few minutes. “So it wouldn’t matter to you if I was?”

“But you’re not.” Cade twisted to pierce him with turbulent, gray eyes. “Are you?”

“Depends. Are we still friends if I am?”

“What kind of a— Oh.” Cade pulled his hands away from a nosing Bear demanding more carrots. He faced forward. “It doesn’t matter to me.”

Dean felt that wall go up so fast, the breeze moved his hair. Fine. He wasn’t going to force anyone to like him. Wasn’t going to force anyone to spend time with him, as a friend or whatever. He was sorry friendships were conditional with Cade. Especially considering his family, he really wouldn’t have believed this of the man.

He sighed slowly. Never fails. Scorching hot and utterly unattainable. Not even as a friend. Why should Cade be any different from everyone else he’d known? Times like this made him miss Daniel that much more. Danny never would have left him, never would have turned his back on him.

“Ready for something hot?”

Dean patted Bear’s broad face and scratched Biscuit’s ear. “Yeah. I guess so.” Then you can take me home.

He knew he’d never see Cade again. He may say one thing but his eyes, and everything else, said something completely different.