CHAPTER 16

MAGGIE DIDN’T WANT TO LOOK AT IT. Wished she didn’t know the website existed. But she had to check it, didn’t she?

You’re stalling, girl. Of course she was. Backpack ready and sitting by her bedroom door beside her shoes. Homework done. Clothes picked out for tomorrow, which required mental gymnastics to get it right. She couldn’t wear something too trendy —or too dated. The idea was to blend in. Look like everybody else. Don’t risk standing out in some way. The moment they noticed her, there’d be more trouble.

She glanced at her shoes. Converse high-tops. Red. Not at all trendy —and horribly outdated. They definitely stood out, which went against her plan. But she was wearing them anyway.

Maggie took a deep breath and let it out. She needed to check the site just to get herself mentally prepared for seeing Kat, Alexa, and Jo at school.

She should have looked at it earlier. Way earlier. Then she’d have had time to get over it. Then again, she still hadn’t gotten over the first time she saw OneInAMillionMaggie.com. Her name. And pictures of her. Like she’d put it together. Like it really was her site.

Kat or Alexa set it up. Jo’s face popped into her mind. Smiling at her. Laughing. The way things used to be back in seventh grade —when Jo was her best friend. Did she help set up the site?

Maggie opened the website. The home page had a series of sliders —four of the most horrid pictures of her ever. She knew exactly when each one had been taken. They had a way of catching her off guard —with stupid expressions on her face. How could anybody honestly think this was her website —that she’d post such positively hideous pictures of herself?

Maggie clicked on the link to the chat forum. Sure enough —a new post —supposedly from her, with a thumbnail picture of Maggie beside it to make it look all official.

Maggie: Are the lunchroom portions getting smaller —or is it just my imagination? I have to buy two lunches just to fill me up!

Maggie bit her lip. What had she ever done to them?

The responses had piled up, just like they always did.

Alexa: The portions aren’t getting smaller . . . your stomach is getting bigger!

Alexa’s post had eighteen likes. Wonderful. Did Hudson know of this site? She cringed at the thought of him reading it and thinking it was legit. Would he add his “like” to the post? She still couldn’t figure him out, but he didn’t seem like that type.

Kat: When’s the last time you stepped on a scale?

“Every day,” Maggie whispered. “And I’m losing weight —not gaining.”

Logan: Glad I don’t sit behind you. I’d have to lean halfway into the aisle to see the board.

Oh. Nice. Logan Kennedy. The best-looking guy at school. He looked like a Kennedy —but obviously lacked the winning personality.

Maggie: Two weeks until Halloween! I’ll get a ton of candy . . . I’ll be in heaven!

Did anybody actually think this was her site?

Alexa: Hog heaven.

Kat: LOL. Absolutely!!

Maggie stared at the ceiling. She was ruined. How many kids had already read the posts —or would before school tomorrow? She was a leper. Nobody would dare get close to her. Except Pancake. He’d never ditch her. But if Hudson saw the site, he’d pick a new table to sit at. Which was no big deal, but what if he took Pancake with him?

She wanted Mom to know what was going on. But Mom was a fighter. She’d march over to Southfield and demand to see the principal. Everybody would know her mom came —and Maggie would die. Besides, Mom was still getting her strength back, and stress wouldn’t help.

No, she couldn’t show this to Mom. She’d have to keep putting up a good front. If only she’d inherited more of Mom’s genes. If she’d been a little tougher at first, maybe she wouldn’t be in this mess. But how was she supposed to fight back now? If Dad was still around, things would be different. A lot of things.

Maggie went back to the screen. There were so many likes on the mean comments. If only she had that many real friends. Or even half as many. Hey, she’d settle for two. Pancake was great, but she wanted more. Somebody so close that they knew each other’s thoughts. Like Jo had been, once upon a time. But she was just Giovanna, now. She hadn’t been Jo in a really long time.

Kat: Those ugly red shoes . . . what are they, clown shoes? They make your feet look huge!

Skirt: They R huge!

Wolfman: Clown shoes are a good fit for you . . . you’re a joke.

Zachary Wolfe’s miniature picture beside the name confirmed he was the Wolfman. This was the first time he’d been on her website —or at least that he’d commented. So Wolfe’s pack and Kat’s litter were running together now. Wonderful.

Maggie looked at her shoes in the corner. Quirky, but cute in a weird way. Now every person visiting the site would think of them as clown shoes. Lovely.

Remember Mom loves you —every step of the way. Mom’s exact words when she gave them to her. She even wrote them with a Sharpie across the inside sole. How could something given with so much love cause so much pain?

Alexa: I’d go barefoot before I’d wear high-tops.

Maggie: High-tops keep the smell in.

Maggie cringed. She wanted to type a response. Something smart. But if she did, they’d know she was reading the posts. She didn’t want to give them that satisfaction. Besides, if they knew she was reading, wouldn’t that encourage them to do more?

Each nasty comment was piling on likes. She didn’t want to know who added their name to the list.

She padded down the hall to the bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror. What was it others saw in her that made them so vicious?

She rinsed her face, but didn’t bother toweling off. She watched the water drip onto her T-shirt, slowly leeching into big, wet circles. Maybe she could stay home from school.

She plodded back to her bedroom feeling nauseous. Maybe if she stayed home a day, they’d find someone else to make miserable. They’d forget.

Right.

Maybe it worked that way when her mom was in junior high. Out of sight, out of mind. Thanks to the internet, that saying didn’t apply anymore. They could nail her any time they wanted. Even now they were probably still making comments. Adding likes. There was no escape. No safe place. And there was nobody she could turn to for help.