Life is so different these days. Whenever I stop to think about it, it’s hard to believe how much has changed since the last time I saw you.
But when was the last time you saw me, Joel? Do you ever see me in your dreams? Sometimes I wonder how much you know about the way I live now—the things you’ve been privy to, the details and the colors. I’ve thought a lot about what you said—I think for you the best is yet to come—and I’ve wondered for so long about how much weight to give that. If my sadness is misplaced. If I should feel only optimism.
I know all you ever wanted was for me to be happy. But I also know, for that to happen, I’m going to have to learn to let you go.
I’m trying, Joel. To pick my heart off the floor, love what we were, and finally let you go.
Just know, every day, that I’m trying.