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THE END
LEVI
I STAND WITH MY BANDMATES as the first strains of “All I Want is You” begin to play, and Ali appears. She’s fucking breathtaking in her black gown, her hair pulled back from her face in a messy, totally Ali way, and of course those fucking lucky red cons. Coop made the entire bridal party wear them. I stare at her, wishing she’d glance in my direction, just once, but she doesn’t.
Of course, she doesn’t.
She isn’t here to marry me. She didn’t choose me. She chose him. She chose all fucking wrong, but I guess she’s doing this new thing where she doesn’t listen to reason.
I’m not mad at her. I let this happen. I pushed Cooper fucking Ryan right back into her arms, and I only have myself to blame. I tried to be all noble and give the woman I love the happiness she deserves.
I’m a fucking idiot.
And here we are. Her walking down the aisle towards another man, and me silently begging her, pleading with her to look at me, to see me, to take my hand and let me lead her away, but I know that would never happen, and there’s nothing that can be done about it.
The angry French girl from the pool yesterday draws out the final note from her cello and lowers her bow just as Ali takes her place alongside Cooper. The celebrant begins the ceremony. I can’t hear a thing but the whooshing in my ears, and then my band brother and best friend Ash is leaning into me. “Hey, you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m just fucking peachy.”
“Dude, no one would blame you for skipping out early.”
“I can’t do that,” I say automatically, but as soon as the words have left my mouth, I wonder why that is. Is it because I have to see if there’s even the slightest hint of hesitation from her, or is it because I just love to torture myself?
“Levi—”
“Let it go, Ash,” I whisper in a hiss. Deb, Zed, Coop, and Ali all swivel their heads and glare at me.
Coop’s brow is all pinched up as if he’s annoyed, but for the first time since I left her room, Ali’s eyes meet mine, and I discover that the absolute worst thing besides losing the woman you love to your bandmate, is having that woman look at you on her wedding day with pity in her eyes.
While she’s staring at a future filled with happily ever after, I’m looking at the end of mine.
The celebrant continues, casting me a pointed glare when she says, “Let’s proceed.”
I swallow back the bile burning my throat and continue to stare at Ali.
This is it.
Any second now she’s going to turn to me and say she made a mistake. That she doesn’t love him, and that my world isn’t going to be ripped apart ... because she’s choosing me. Only she doesn’t turn to me, she doesn’t say the words I’m longing to hear, but instead, she says the worst possible thing I can ever imagine coming from her lips. The worst thing, when she’s not directing those words at me.
“I do.”
Coop sweeps her up into a full-out kiss, and I do something I should have done the second Red asked me to fuck her. I walk away, and I don’t look back.