Chapter 14

Heaven took advantage of the unusual day of warmth and opened the window and door to air out the cabin. The oil lamps needed refilling, and she collected them one at a time while balancing on her stick. She set them on the table, removed the glass chimneys, and placed them to the side, thankful they weren’t blackened. They would need only a quick swipe of the cloth this morning.

“Angel, the lamps are on the table, so don’t bump it.” “Won’t it be nice to have something to eat besides a mess of green beans and those walnuts we found, Heaven? I hope Dr. Logan brings back a deer. I’ve been dreaming about roast.” Angel swept the kitchen floor. She wiped her brow.

Heaven trimmed off the ragged burned edges of the wicks until they were straight. Then she filled the lamp bases with oil, stopping about a half inch from the top. “We need to be thankful Great-Uncle Neal liked green beans enough to can a mess of them. Without them we’d be living on others’ charity by now.”

“We can thank God for sending us Dr. Logan, too. I’m real glad you didn’t kill him, Heaven. He’s been right handy around here.” Angel stopped sweeping and leaned on the broom. “In fact, I think you should marry him. After all, that’s what Pa wanted, right? That’s what was on that paper.”

“Hush! You promised not to tell anyone about that.”

“I didn’t. You already know about it, and so does Dr. Logan. I didn’t mention it to him, but I could if you don’t want to. I could be your go-between and fix things between you.”

“Angel Claire, you’ll do no such thing.” Heaven replaced the glass chimneys. Being married to Travis wouldn’t be awful. He was a handsome man, and if they had children, they’d be adorable. It wouldn’t happen though. Just because her pa wanted it didn’t mean Travis did. She wished she still had that paper, because she wanted to see how that part was worded. Did Pa say the farm and Heaven now belonged to Travis, or did it leave any room for her to get out of the contract? Maybe if she didn’t marry him, he couldn’t have the farm? Where had he put that paper? Back in his saddlebag? She might have to take a walk to the barn later. Guilt of looking at things not belonging to her niggled at her conscience. But what if there was a way she and Angel could stay here and it was on that paper? If there was a chance, she wanted to know. “If we’re meant to marry, God and Dr. Logan will see to it.”

Angel let go of the broom, and it landed with a dull thud on the wood planked floor. “Sometimes God works a little slow around here. Sometimes I think He’s forgotten all about us, what with takin’ away most of our family. Sometimes, Heaven, I get real mad at Him.”

Angel plunked down in the kitchen chair and lowered her head to the table. “I’m not going to cry. I’m not going to cry. I’m …” She sniffled.

Heaven knelt by her sister and stroked her hair, fighting off her own desire to let loose of tears fighting for an exit.

“Angel baby, it’s okay to be mad at God. Pa always said God was capable of handling our anger. Everyone gets mad sometimes at people they love, don’t they?”

“Uh-huh.”

“You don’t need to worry about us being a family. We’re family, you and me. We’re going to be just fine.” An awful small one, God. How are we going to survive if I don’t marry Travis? And God, why him? Why, if all if this was going to happen to us, didn’t You let Jake live so we could be married?

Angel raised her head from the table. “How?”

“I’m going to ask Dr. Logan to teach me how to take care of this place as soon as I can walk without this stick. And if he won’t teach me, we’ll find someone who will.”

“But Heaven, this isn’t our house anymore.” Angel turned and sank into her sister’s arms.

“I’m not giving up, Angel. I’m going to find a way to Bells or Dryersville and talk to one of those lawyers. It’s not right, Pa giving our home away. And I bet since he had a fever, he wasn’t right in the head when he signed that paper.”

Angel sat back in the chair, releasing her grasp on Heaven. “Why do you think Pa did that?”

“If he had been thinking straight, I don’t think he would have. I wonder if he was worried about us being alone and wanted to fix that before he died.” Perhaps that was the answer. It would be like Pa to think about their future. At least he’d cared. What if she’d never heard about his death? What would the awful unknown of being abandoned by her pa have done to her and to Angel? As it was, she’d been limping along thinking they would be leaving any day instead of preparing for the winter. Unless Travis stayed, they’d be eating nothing but green beans and nuts until spring.

“Does that mean he liked Dr. Logan?” “Maybe he did. I can’t see him just being grateful for Dr. Logan’s doctoring and then giving away his land and family.” “Well he did, and now we’re stuck.”

“No we’re not. Somehow I’m going to fix this. I promise you, Angel, I will make a home for us, if not here, then in a better place.”

“Can I have Ma’s lorgnette until that happens? I know I can’t use it to look at stuff, but every time I get worried, I can touch it and know you’re working on making things better.”

Heaven grasped the chain. It brought her a sense of security. When she touched it or noticed its weight around her neck, it was as if Ma were standing with her. Why didn’t she think of giving something like this to Angel? Ma didn’t have a great deal of jewelry, but there was the brooch that had been passed down several generations. Such a sentimentally valuable piece of jewelry wouldn’t be appropriate for a young girl who could lose it, but she had planned on giving it to Angel when she was older.

Angel’s sister went silent. No movement came from her—not even the sound of her fingers in her hair. “Heaven? Are you mad ‘cause I asked for it?”

“No, I’m just thinking about it.”

Quiet surrounded Angel. It was times like this that made her as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockers. She couldn’t see faces, and that left her without any information about what a person was feeling. Was Heaven angry? Sad? Angel sat still waiting for some indication from her sister.

She heard the lorgnette chain scratch against fabric. Could it be? Then she felt the chain brush her hair as her sister lowered it onto her neck. Angel reached up and touched her chest, but it wasn’t there. Sliding her hand down her stomach, she found the beaded chain close to her waistline. Resting it in the palm of her hand, she traced the small metal flower at the end of the slick glass. She brought it up and brushed her lips. “Thank you, Heaven.” She wiped a lone tear from her chin. “I’m going to go show Dr. Logan.”

Heaven’s stick thumped loudly across the floor. Her hand went to the spot on her chest where the lorgnette had rested since her ma died. She swallowed a milk pail full of tears and sunk into the rocker, letting it surround her with its comforting memories.