Saturday games were usually pretty popular, and an unseasonably warm February day brought out the sports lovers who were anxious to transition from football to baseball, as well as the diehard fans who made every home game. Like my folks. Theresa and Michael Maldonado were uberfans. They arrived early and set up camp in the middle of the bleachers, wearing homemade jerseys with my number on them and team caps. They were the kind of parents who cheered loudly for every player…but especially for me. Our team was young and scrappy. Usually we gave them a good show. Not so much today.
We sucked.
I couldn’t concentrate. My mind was whirling with important details like whether I’d remembered to buy condoms and if I’d need any tonight anyway. And did Phoenix really mean “yogurt?” Yuck. I wondered if I could talk him into ice cream instead. Of course, if I didn’t up my game, I probably wouldn’t allow myself to have dessert anyway. That was a self-imposed rule. Sucky games were not celebrated.
See? I was a head case. It wasn’t just me. It was a freaking epidemic. Javi couldn’t agree with any pitch Minsky wanted to throw, which made our already moody pitcher uneasy and overly cautious. He threw marshmallows at the batters and then looked surprised when the ball blasted over his head. But Micah was probably the worst. He missed two easy stops, and the one he caught on the fly could have easily turned into a double play if he hadn’t thrown the ball five feet away from first base. We didn’t hit our stride until the sixth inning.
If we’d been playing a tough team, it would have been a bloodbath. Luckily, the Jaguars sucked too. I didn’t mind going into extra innings usually, but not against these guys. By the bottom of the ninth, we were tied at three apiece. I willed Micah to come through with a double to bring in our runner on third base as I swung my bat on the side. No such luck. He struck out and he wasn’t happy. He looked like he wanted to punch something or someone hard. I couldn’t blame him. We all had bad days, but his was terrible.
I stepped up to the plate and gave myself a quick pep talk. I adjusted my helmet twice, then kicked the side of the plate three times before cocking my bat high in an exaggerated stance. I got back into position to indicate I was ready, and when the pitcher inclined his head in acknowledgment, I knew he’d throw a curveball. Don’t ask me how. Maybe it was the way he leaned toward his left or the set of his shoulders. Either way, I was ready for it. Bam! I hit a line drive with enough firepower to get our runner home.
My team stormed home plate when Castillo came in to break the tie. The second I reached them, I was surrounded too.
“Dude, that was fuckin’ amazing.” Javi smacked my back hard.
Micah greeted me with a fist bump a moment later. “Nice work, man.”
“Were you showing off for your girl?” Javi chided. “I don’t think she’s here, but Sarah is. She’ll tell her all about it.”
I took off the batting helmet and tossed it on the ground outside the dugout. “What are you talking about?”
“Don’t play dumb. I know what happened last weekend,” Javi singsonged.
I highly doubted it. I rolled my eyes and shoved my hand through my hair distractedly before waving to my parents, who were talking to Christian and Rory in the stands. After I said a quick hello, I was outta there. As much as I loved deliberating the finer points of a game, I had big plans tonight.
“What happened?” Micah asked.
“We set Max up with Sarah’s friend, Sunny. Let’s just say…they ditched us to be alone.” Javi waggled his brows lasciviously before tipping his cap at someone behind me and stepping aside. “I gotta run. I don’t think Coach wants to chat, but I want to get out of here in case he changes his mind.”
“Later,” I called.
I moved into the dugout, slapping high fives along the way. I stuffed my batting gloves into the side pocket of my bag and hefted the strap over my shoulder, then made my way off the field with my head down. I didn’t want to run into our coach either. We were lucky to pull off that win, but I figured the lecture could wait until Monday.
I paused at the chain link fence to pull my cell out and glanced back when I felt someone behind me. Micah.
“You goin’ home?” he asked around a mouthful of bubble gum.
“Not yet. My mom and dad are here. I gotta say hi before I head out.” He stuck close to me when I stepped through the gate, like a piece of toilet paper on the bottom of my cleat. I shot him a curious look. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Hey…who’s the girl?”
I furrowed my brow. “What girl?”
“The girl Javi was talking about. What’s her name again?”
“Sunny. Why?”
“Is her last name Bell?” Micah made a weird face when I nodded. A cross between a grimace and something angry. I didn’t have time for drama. I started to turn away when he didn’t continue but stopped in my tracks a moment later. “I asked her out once. She turned me down. Guess you’re more her type.”
“We just met, dude…and we went to a play. It wasn’t a big deal. You know how Javi likes to talk,” I said.
“Yeah. That’s true.” Micah let out a half laugh and pulled his keys out of his pocket. “I’ll just tell her you’re gay. That’ll throw her off.”
I flipped my baseball cap backward and flashed a tight grin. “Right. I gotta run.”
I ignored the instant wave of panic and the accompanying shame that came with letting them think there was even a hint of something romantic between Sunny and me, and hurried to greet my parents just as they were saying good-bye to Christian and Rory. They all praised my crappy game and I let them. I soaked in the love distractedly and tried not to dwell on Micah’s parting comment. Fuck, that guy bugged me.
“So proud, mijo.” My mom snaked her arm around my waist and hugged me to her side while my dad highlighted his favorite part of the winning play, using sweeping hand gestures.
Christian and Rory grinned at his antics. I felt an instant pang of longing for what they had. They were out and open, laughing and joking with my parents like old friends. Which made sense. My parents had known Christian since he was a baby. His family belonged to the same church as mine. We’d both grown up in strict, religious households, but unlike his folks, mine put their children first.
They’d been appalled that the Raffertys had disowned their son when he came out, and they made an extra effort to include him in our family gatherings. And Rory too. But my parents might react to my revelation differently. It was a culture thing. I was second-generation Mexican. And overblown machismo was a strong Maldonado trait. Gay friends were one thing, but being gay…no. I doubted I’d get tossed on my ear when or if I came out, but I knew everything would change. And not necessarily for the better.
“It wasn’t a good game. We all know it, Ma.” I tickled her side until she squealed and moved to stand next to my father.
My parents reminded me of mismatched salt and pepper shakers. My dad was six one and lean with mostly white hair, while my mom was five three, tops. She usually tied her long dark hair in a knot atop her head and tended to wear flowy blouses to hide what she referred to as the layer of fun around her middle. I looked like a combination of them, I supposed. I had my dad’s height and my mom’s hazel eyes and olive skin and her sense of humor.
“Doesn’t matter. It was a win,” my dad replied. “Too bad Sky is gone. I was just telling one of the other parents we need that kid back. Your coach mentioned it too.”
“He did?”
“Yeah, just in passing. He said he heard Sky was playing in a rec league. I think he wants to find a way to get him back on the team.”
Christian and I shared a wary look. I hadn’t had a chance to tell him about Sky’s message. I honestly just wanted to forget about it.
“Sky? I don’t think that would be such a great thing.” I glanced at my cell when it buzzed in my hand, grateful for the distraction.
Pressed at seven. Does that work?
“Of course it would be. That kid really knew the game. He had an instinct for…”
Yes. Where is that? I typed, tuning out my father’s speech about my ex’s baseball prowess.
Phoenix sent the address with a heart emoji. I stared at it for a moment, weighing reciprocal emoji options. A heart might give the wrong impression. A smiley face was lame. I settled on a thumbs-up symbol and then scrolled to find an ice cream cone. I pushed Send before I could overthink. He sent a gif of a toddler in a high chair flailing his arms in excitement while being fed ice cream. I chuckled, looked up and…
All eyes were on me. Fuck.
“What’s up? Did I miss something?” I asked casually.
“No, honey.” Mom smiled indulgently. “Are you hungry?”
“Yeah, let us buy you boys dinner.” Dad rubbed his hands together like he was already planning his order.
“Thanks, but we’re heading to LA tonight, Mr. and Mrs. M,” Rory said politely. “My brother is playing a solo guitar gig at Aromatique. I guess they’re keeping the coffee shop open late for a new artist showcase or something. You’re all welcome to join us.”
My parents politely declined the invitation, but I could tell they were pleased to have been included.
“How about you, Max?” Christian asked, nudging my bag.
“Tempting.” And it was. I liked Rory’s bother, Justin. He was a hot as fuck barista slash bartender with rock and roll aspirations. Any other Saturday I would have jumped at the invitation. “But I can’t. I have plans.”
“Oh. Are you seeing anyone special?” Mom’s eyes twinkled.
I hiked my bag higher on my shoulder, then leaned in to kiss her cheek. “Only you, Ma. Love you. Gotta run.”
* * *
An hour and a half later, I sat at a café table outside Pressed in an upscale strip mall, waiting for Phoenix. I wasn’t familiar with this part of town. It was technically still Orange, but it was fifteen minutes away from campus, in horse country. I’d passed a few signs indicating there were trails in the expansive park across the street. I zipped my leather jacket and shot a longing look at the Starbucks on the corner. I wore nicer than usual jeans and a black button-down shirt, but I was still chilly. Hot cocoa sounded good right now. Whipped cream, chocolate shavings…
“You’re here!”
I glanced up as Phoenix approached and did a double take. “You dyed your hair.”
He grinned as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Yes. Step one of getting into character. This is my Billy Idol meets Billy Flynn look. What do you think?”
“Uh…you look good.”
He looked hot as fuck actually. The lighter shade of platinum made his blue eyes pop. It was closer to white than blond. Not a look everyone could pull off, but Phoenix definitely could. His navy wool coat and light-blue jeans rolled at the cuffs added an edgy appeal. Yeah…he looked amazing.
“Thank you.”
“No red lipstick?”
“Not tonight. I didn’t want to scare you away. Aren’t you freezing out here? Let’s go inside and find a seat. Or better yet, let’s get our yogurt and grab a table under that space heater.” He pointed to the seating area a few feet away, then pivoted on his heels and sashayed into the store.
Pressed was an ultra-minimalist juice and veggie cleanse bar with stark-white walls and floors. Modern cloudlike fixtures floated above the marble counter. The only hint of color was the chalkboard-style menu on the back wall and the few toppings they offered for their four flavors of yogurt. Yes, four.
“What is this place?” I whispered. “There’s nothing to eat.”
“Sure there is. You have your choice of vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, or matcha. Or you can get a juice. It’s all delish, but the chocolate is my fave. I like a little coconut and strawberry on top too. If you’re feeling naughty, you can get pokie chips and almond drizzle. High rec. Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You said this was a yogurt place. Aren’t they supposed to have at least half the flavors Baskin Robbins does?”
“Fifteen and a half?” he joked as he inched closer to the counter to order. “Try the chocolate. You’ll like it.”
“You know The Yogurt Factory by campus has some awesome flavors. Peanut butter, mint chocolate, cake batter, cookies and cream, and every topping known to man.”
“I didn’t think you’d want to be close to school.” Phoenix gave me an uncertain look. “We can go somewhere else.”
“No, I’m teasing you. I’m not hungry. I had Carl’s Jr. after my game. And in case you’re wondering, they have excellent fries.”
“Good to know,” he said with a laugh. “How was your game?”
“We won. It wasn’t pretty but we pulled it off.”
“What were the numbers?”
I rolled my eyes. “The score was four to three.”
He winked, then squeezed my elbow and pulled me toward the counter to order. “I’ll have a large chocolate with almond butter drizzle, strawberries, coconut and…chocolate chips too. What about you, Max?”
“Uh…a small chocolate, please.”
“Oh! Try the matcha. Can you give him a taste? Oh, and the strawberry too, please.”
“Of course,” the young girl behind the counter smiled.
She set the three samples in tiny paper cups on the counter before turning to make Phoenix’s. “Well? What do you think?”
“The strawberry is okay. The green one is just…meh. But the chocolate is decent.”
“Decent? Oh, Max. How will we ever make it together?” He sighed theatrically as he handed over his credit card.
I snickered at his delivery, then pulled out my wallet. “Wait. You’re not supposed to pay. I am. Excuse me. Can you take my card instead?”
“Ignore him, please,” Phoenix told the amused teenager. “Our first date is on me.”
The girl handed back his card and slid our frozen treats toward us with a cheery smile like she thought we were cute. It made me a little uncomfortable. “I don’t do cute,” I grumbled to myself as I followed him outside to a small, round table under a space heater. But when he stuck his tongue out and licked the side of his spoon, I couldn’t look away. I shifted on the chair and clandestinely adjusted my cock. Phoenix wasn’t cute. He was hot. And I definitely wanted to do this…and him. I just needed some guidelines.
“So this is our first date?”
He chuckled. “Yes. Or we can say it’s a booty call ‘terms and conditions’ meeting.”
I snorted a half laugh. “O-kay…”
“Maybe we should talk about something else for a few minutes. I’ve been too nervous to eat much today. I don’t think I can talk sex on an empty stomach. Talking while hungry is worse than drunk texting for me. I need to eat before I pass out. Tell me about your day or something.”
I grinned like a madman. “There isn’t much to tell. I had a game, so that pretty much took up my whole day.”
“How long does a baseball game take?” he asked, furrowing his brow.
“Depends. Three hours on average.”
He widened his eyes comically. “Three hours? That sounds…painful.”
“It’s not painful. It’s fun,” I assured him.
“How? I mean, what do you like about it?”
“Everything.” I chuckled at his circular “keep talking” hand motion. “I don’t know how to explain. It’s just something I’ve done my whole life. When I was a kid, baseball reminded me of summertime, warm weather, peanuts, Cracker Jacks, and bubblegum. The smell of freshly cut grass, neighborhood barbeques, and playing catch with my dad in the backyard. I played T-ball, rec league, and Little League. The longer I played, the better I got, and the more I appreciated the game itself. You start out thinking it’s so simple. You learn the basic rules and practice hitting, catching, throwing the ball. But after a while, you realize there’s a lot of strategy and patience involved too.”
“Strategy? I thought you were supposed to just hit the ball and run.”
“Yeah. But the pitcher is gonna try to trick you. He doesn’t want you to hit the ball. He wants you to strike out. See?”
“And if the pitcher doesn’t allow any runner on base, he has a perfect game,” Phoenix said earnestly.
“That’s right. So you’re a secret baseball fan, eh?” I grinned.
“No, I googled it.”
I barked a quick laugh. “You googled baseball? Why?”
“To impress you, of course.”
“I’m impressed. That’s very—”
“Weird,” he supplied, waving dismissively. “I know. My blood sugar is low. You’ll have to excuse me.”
“I was going to say sweet. Thanks.” My smile felt a bit too wide for my face. I made a show of spooning up my dessert before continuing. “Did you ever play any sports?”
“Only when I didn’t have a choice. Like in elementary school gym class. I sucked. I was the kid who got picked last for everything. Even spelling bee teams. I was uncoordinated and gawky.”
“And a bad speller,” I teased, bumping his knee with mine playfully.
“No, I could spell. I was just shy.”
“You?” I repeated incredulously. “You were a fucking fairy in the school play. Shy people don’t swing from the rafters in tights. That takes a lot of balls.”
He smiled. “Thanks, but that’s different. That’s acting. And I’m not shy anymore. I have my moments…like when I’m completely uncomfortable and out of my depth. But when I was a kid, I could go a whole day without saying a word. I didn’t have to. Sunny did all the talking for me. It freaked my mom out. I think that was when she suggested acting classes. In the beginning, they were really glorified parks and rec dress-up skits. I don’t think I had my first speaking role until I was seven, but…it helped.”
“What’s it like having a twin? Can you read each other’s thoughts or something?”
“Sometimes it feels like it. We’re close. We were always in the same class in grade school, and we had a lot of the same friends. My parents didn’t do the traditional boy-girl thing with us. If I wanted to play Barbies with Sunny, they didn’t freak out as long as I shared my Tonka trucks. Of course, I happily turned over any transportation-themed toys. Not my thing. My brother took those. He drives tanks in the army now, so I suppose it worked out well,” Phoenix said with a laugh.
“Is he older than you?”
“Yes. Dallas is twenty-five. Sunny is eight minutes older than me, so I’m the youngest.”
“Wait. Didn’t you tell me in LA that your parents named you after the places you were born?”
“Good memory. Actually, it was where we were conceived. TMI…I know. No one wants to think about their parents doing the nasty,” he groused theatrically.
“But if you’re twins, they did the deed in the same place.”
Phoenix shivered in mock disgust. “Yeah well, she got the whole state. Sunny Arizona.”
“Hang on. Is your name middle name Arizona too?” I asked, chuckling at his put-upon expression.
“Yep. I told you they’re hippies,” he huffed.
“That’s clever.” I finished my last spoonful, then pushed the empty cup away. “I’m the youngest too. My parents won’t admit it, but I think I was a mistake. There’s a four-year gap between Jake and me. I was always the pesky little brother getting in the way and trying to be part of the action when I was way too young to hang with them. I think my dad made an extra effort to throw the ball around with me and keep me occupied, so I wouldn’t get mad when they ditched me to hang out with their buddies.”
“Are you closer now?”
“Not really. They’re in a different place. They have real jobs and serious girlfriends. Adrian is an engineer for a bio-med firm and Jake just passed the bar. I’m still playing college ball and trying to avoid worrying about what I’ll do after I graduate,” I admitted.
“Why don’t you play professionally?” he asked before sucking a strawberry between his teeth.
I licked my lips. “Chilton is a Division Three college, and the big leagues rarely send scouts to schools like ours. Besides you don’t just say, ‘I’m gonna play professionally.’ It doesn’t work like that. There’s a process, you know? That would be like you showing up for the set of the next Marvel film and telling the director you’re the next Spiderman. Not gonna happen.”
Phoenix sighed sarcastically. “Well, that’s disappointing.”
“Hey, give it a try. It might work for you,” I said with a laugh.
“Hmm. Why did you go to Chilton then? Didn’t you want to go pro?”
“I did, but…”
“But what?”
“I got a full-ride scholarship. I couldn’t say no. My parents own a roofing company and they do okay, but there’s no way they could afford a private school education. And Christian’s dad works for the university. He knew he was playing football at Chilton. I couldn’t wait to be roommates and have a legit reason to be with him. And then I wanted to be with Sky. Sounds lame, doesn’t it? Like I’ve been following guys around. The truth is that it’s been easy to stay under the radar here. I got to play ball at a good school, be near my family, and live with my boyfriend. How’d you put it? I got to have my cake and eat it too,” I said with a self-deprecating huff.
“Lucky you. So, what happens after you graduate?”
I shrugged with faux nonchalance. “No clue. I might get my masters or work for my parents. Thankfully, I have another year to figure it out. What about you?”
“Well, I transferred here because of the film program. If I can’t make it as an actor, I want to do something behind the scenes…like write or direct. Theater preferably. I know there’s more money in movies, but live theater is special. You never see the same performance twice. It’s completely unique.”
“I like your passion. I bet you’ll be a big star someday.”
Phoenix beamed. “Thanks.”
I stood abruptly when his sunny grin set off a fresh wave of butterflies. “Are you done with that?”
Phoenix pulled his cup close and shook his head emphatically. I shrugged then threw my trash in the bin. When I returned, he cocked his head and gave me a curious look. “What’s your secret dream job?”
“I can’t tell you. If I do, it’ll jinx it,” I teased.
“I understand. It’s the same in theater. Actors are a suspicious bunch too. Never wish anyone in the entertainment business good luck. Always say ‘break a leg.’ And never say the name ‘Macbeth’ or quote a line from Macbeth during a production.”
“Why?”
“It’s bad luck.”
I squinted at him suspiciously. “Wait. Didn’t you quote Macbeth last week? Something about the dark.”
“Yes. But that’s because the play was over. It’s my personal last performance tradition,” he replied. “One quote on the final night…in the dark.”
“That’s a little crazy.”
“Yep,” he agreed with a Cheshire cat grin.
“Aren’t you afraid you’re playing with fire and jinxing your chance at getting another role?”
“No.” Phoenix reached behind him to rap his knuckles on the bark of the palm tree. “It’s worked for me every time. Want a bite?”
I glanced down at the spoonful he offered. “You’re not afraid of catching my cooties?”
“My indecent proposal involves sharing all the cooties, so I’ll take a chance.”
I fixed him with a slow-growing smile and held his gaze as I sucked the chocolate deliciousness from his spoon.
“Are we talking about this now?” I asked in a husky tone.
Phoenix parted his lips slightly and nodded. “Yes.”
“Okay, but we have to figure a few things out. How often do you want to meet? My place or yours? Do you want to see other people? How confidential is this and…do you want to get tested?”
He gaped at me for so long I began to think he’d gone into shock. He gave me a wry half smile when I kicked his chair and then cleared his throat. “You’ve thought this through.”
“Are you kidding me? I haven’t thought of anything but this for eight days. I’m gonna be honest, I’ve got sex on the brain twenty-four seven. But it’s never fucked with my game. Until today. I was fucking terrible. I couldn’t concentrate at all. I almost boggled an easy fly ball in foul territory, for fuck’s sake.”
“What does that mean?”
“It’s when—that’s not important.” I swiped my hand over my jaw. “The point is, I think we should agree to some terms, so we can…”
“Get naked,” he deadpanned.
“Fuck, yes.”
Phoenix pursed his lips, his eyes glinting with ready humor. “All right…let’s talk terms. How about three times a week?”
“How about more?”
“That works.” He chuckled. “Where should we meet? My sister is my roommate and she’s the only one I’d ever tell. She’s totally trustworthy. I promise. But she’s home a lot so—”
“We can meet at my place. Christian is always at Rory’s. Even if he were to come home unexpectedly, you can trust him too.”
He inclined his head. “You mentioned seeing other people. I guess that’s reasonable. I mean, we aren’t boyfriends and we don’t even know each other very well. But, if you meet someone else or just want out…I want to know. There’s nothing worse than being the last to find out it’s over.”
“I agree, but it won’t be an issue for me. I play ball and go to class during season. That’s about it. The chances of meeting anyone else are slim, and I’m not looking anyway. That’s why we’re talking about this.”
“True.” He narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. “What about that last one? Do you really want to get tested? It seems a bit premature.”
“Maybe you’re right,” I conceded. “We can shelve that one for now.”
“Uh, yeah. Last Friday was amazing, but we don’t have to…you know.”
“Fuck?” I supplied. “Don’t you want to?”
Phoenix glanced at the table closest to us. “Shh. Of course I want to. I just don’t want to rush you.”
I waited for the family of four to pass our table before answering. When I did, I leaned in and spoke in a low voice for his ears only. “Are you fucking with me?”
“No. I’m trying to be a gentleman.”
“Well, don’t. I like it better when you’re nasty.”
“How nasty?” he purred.
“Very. Bring it, baby. I’m up for anything. Literally. In fact, I’m half hard right now. I want you…bad.”
“Be more specific.”
“Okay. I want to fuck you. And if you want me to be totally honest, I’ve wanted to be as close to you as humanly possible since the night we met. I’ve thought about you for months. I wondered if you were the one who got away. But you’re here and we’re talking about stuff that makes me hard and dizzy at the same time, like it’s an exciting new business deal. And I’m no businessman so excuse me if I’m a little too real here, but I wish I was inside you right now. I want your arms all over me and your legs around me and I want you to beg me to go harder, faster, deeper…all night long.”
“Holy fuck.” Phoenix widened his eyes and licked his lips. “I think I’m gonna pass out.”
“Don’t do that.” I grinned and reached for his hand unthinking. “Come home with me instead.”
* * *
Phoenix followed me back to my place. He parked in a visitor spot near the entrance and waited for me in the lobby. We held hands on the elevator ride upstairs, but we didn’t talk. I figured we were both anxious to get naked and really, there wasn’t much more to say. But when I unlocked my door and held it open for him, I sensed that his silence had more to do with nerves than desire.
I pulled my jacket off and set it on one of the barstools at the kitchen peninsula. “Are you thirsty? We have water. Maybe wine too…or tequila.” I waggled my eyebrows playfully.
“Water is fine.” Phoenix gave me a lopsided smile, then spread his arms to encompass the open-style space. “Your place is nice.”
The two-bedroom apartment was actually pretty standard for the neighborhood. We had high ceilings and plenty of natural light from the bank of windows opposite our small kitchen. The decor was student chic, but nice. The focal point was the large flat-screen TV in front of the comfy sofa.
“Thanks. You were here last week, remember?”
“Yeah, but I didn’t notice much. And now I’m kinda nervous, so I’m probably going to start babbling about stupid stuff…like how many video games you have.”
“I have a lot,” I replied, handing him a water bottle before moving into the adjoining living area and flopping gracelessly onto the sofa. “Wanna play a game?”
“Now?” Phoenix perched on the cushion next to me and narrowed his eyes. “I thought you wanted to…”
“I do, but you’re biting your lip.” I pulled him against me and rested my arm over his shoulder before grazing my thumb across his mouth.
“Hmm.”
“Video games help me relax. Do you play?”
“I played Mario Kart when I was little. Does that count?”
“Yep. It’s a classic and I happen to own it. Let’s play.” I shoved a controller in his hands before rummaging through my games to find my battered copy of Mario Kart 7. “You’re probably gonna kick my ass here. It’s been awhile, but the game doesn’t really change. It’s a racing game. There’re some cool features like hang-gliding and underwater racing. Oh, and you can customize your vehicle too. So, check this out…”
Within ten minutes, we were completely engrossed in the game. Okay, that’s a lie. I had a hard time concentrating. Phoenix downplayed his skills and his competitive side. He was ruthless. He leaned against me when he turned corners or made wild jumps. When he passed a level, he whooped with joy and when he slipped on banana peels or crashed into oil cans, he growled in frustration.
“This game is rigged,” he griped, sliding the controller on the coffee table.
I gave a quick laugh and jumped on top of him, tickling his sides until he was laughing hysterically as he tried to wiggle out of my hold. When his leg grazed my crotch, I went suddenly still. I was sporting serious wood now, and Phoenix was panting and looking at me with twinkling eyes and…
I cupped his neck and drew him closer. “Hey.”
“Yeah?”
“Can I kiss you?”
He nodded once, then leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. I tried to be gentle, but Phoenix had other ideas. He shifted to a kneeling position and straddled my thighs, never breaking the connection. Once he settled over me, he deepened the kiss, gliding his tongue alongside mine before pulling back to nip my bottom lip. I ran my hands over his shoulders and down his sides before finally resting them on his ass. We sucked and licked at each other with a growing sense of urgency. It took a fuckton of self-control not to flip him over and grind myself shamelessly against him. But the second I tilted my hips and felt his obvious erection, I was done holding back. I had to have more.
Phoenix groaned as he slipped his right hand between us. He wrapped his fingers around my cock through my jeans and stroked me. I leaned against the cushions to give him room as I arched upward in a quest for more friction. I squeezed his ass with my left hand and grabbed his hair with my free hand as I ravaged his mouth. He broke the kiss to suck in a lungful of air. Then he pulled his sweater and the T-shirt underneath over his head. I studied his smooth chest for a moment before bending to lick his nipples, giving each one attention as I fumbled with his belt. I unbuckled, unbuttoned, and unzipped his jeans in record time. I quickly yanked my tee over my head before pulling him against me. The feel of his bare chest sparked a tsunami of desire.
I picked him up effortlessly and laid him flat on the sofa. I yanked his jeans off before dealing with my own and shoving the denim down to free my rigid cock. He sat up immediately and reached out to hold me at the base before leaning over to swallow me whole.
“Fuck. That’s hot, baby.”
I held on to the sofa cushion and watched him work me over while I raked my fingers through his hair and murmured sweet dirty nothings, praising his cock sucking skills. When he gripped himself, I batted his hand away. Then I licked my palm and took over with a subtle twist of my wrist and a firm tug. Up and down, over and over. Phoenix lifted his hips rhythmically while humming as he sucked me like a damn lollipop.
I let go of him briefly to lick my fingers before gently tapping his hole. And he went crazy.
“Oh, my God. Get on top of me. Please, Max.”
He didn’t need to tell me twice. I pushed the cushion off the sofa and lay on top of him, pumping my hips and sliding my erection alongside his while our tongues dueled for dominance. I rolled us sideways and lifted his leg before brushing my thumb over his entrance. I sucked his nipple as I slowly eased one finger inside him. Phoenix writhed like a pole dancer and begged for a second one. We needed lube and a condom, pronto. And Christian would kill me if I didn’t put a towel on the sofa before we got busy.
“Come on. Let’s go to my room.” I crawled over him and held my hand out.
He looked like he was going to argue for a moment, but he linked his fingers in mine and followed me. I folded my duvet over and grabbed supplies from the nightstand and set them on the mattress before motioning for him to lie down.
“Spread your legs for me. Let me see you,” I commanded as I squirted some lube on my fingers. “That’s it. Wider.”
I massaged his hole again, but this time I didn’t make him wait. I slipped one digit inside him and slowly eased in another. His nostrils flared as he grabbed on to the sheets.
“I’m ready. You should do it now,” he said, gritting his teeth and squeezing his eyes shut.
Here’s the thing…I hadn’t been with a lot of guys, but I’d had a lot of sex with a few. A lot. I liked to think I was good at reading my lover and gauging his response. Phoenix was trembling like a leaf. I chalked it up to extreme horniness and since I was in the same boat, I figured we were on the same page. But something didn’t add up.
“Baby, look at me.” I waited for him to comply. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine.” He cocked his head and frowned. “Don’t you want to do it?”
I palmed my thick shaft and raised my brows. “Yeah. I definitely want to do it.”
“Then let’s…you know.”
I tore open the condom wrapper and handed the latex to him. “Put it on me.”
He sat up quickly and sucked my dick like an ice cream cone before sliding the rubber down my pole. “How should I—”
“I want to see you. Lie down,” I instructed.
I moved between his thighs and added more lube before lining my cock up with his hole. I pushed and got nowhere. I pulled back and fingered him again, pushing in and out to slowly stretch him. Then I tried again.
“Do it, Max. You’re supposed to just push it in.”
I let out a half laugh. “I don’t think so. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I’ll be okay. I heard it will hurt the first time anyway.”
“The first time?” I repeated. “You…this is…you’ve never…”
“Please don’t stop.” Phoenix bit his bottom lip and crinkled his nose. “Please.”
I studied him for a long moment. The dim light from my bedside lamp fell across his face, but I could see his eyes clearly, even in the shadow. He looked so fucking pretty and so sure. I didn’t detect any doubt. Maybe he was nervous, but fuck…now I was too. I didn’t want to mess this up.
“Okay. I just…” I licked my lips and then bent to kiss him, brushing my nose against his before sitting back. “Tell me if it’s too much. I’ll stop when you need me to, okay?”
Phoenix nodded. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me, weirdo,” I said affectionately. “Just let me make it good for you. First thing you gotta do is relax. Take a deep breath. That’s it.”
I kept up a steady stream of soothing lines, telling him how hot he was, how sexy he looked in my bed…that kind of thing. They weren’t really lines, though. It was all true. His honesty stripped a layer of pretense away that left me feeling exposed and yet, completely whole. I caressed his thighs as I fingered him. And when I felt him relax beneath me, I set my cock at his hole and pushed.
I moved slowly. Inch by inch…until I was balls deep inside him. I closed my eyes for a few seconds as I braced myself over him. He was so fucking tight. It actually hurt not to move, but I had to be careful. I swallowed hard and kissed him. He inhaled deeply, setting his arms over my shoulders.
“This is…good. It sort of hurts, but it feels good too.”
“It’ll get better when I move. Are you ready?” I asked, sucking on his bottom lip.
“Yeah. I’m ready.”
I pulled out almost all the way and moved forward. I did the same thing a few times until I could tell the pain had faded. Then I kicked it up a notch. I lifted his right leg and set a moderate pace as I ran my hands all over his body. I tweaked his nipples, traced his ribs, and scratched his sides lightly before gripping his cock and stroking him. Phoenix groaned as he chanted my name. And when he asked for more, I delivered.
Nothing too hard. I didn’t want to overwhelm him. I propped his leg over my shoulder though, and pumped my hips a little faster. I kissed his calf and his ankle and nipped his toes. And when I could tell he might be getting close, I flattened myself to his chest and rolled over so he was on top. I thought it might help if he realized how much control he really had here.
“Come on. Ride me, baby.”
“Like this?” He splayed his hand on my stomach before reaching for his thick cock. He stroked himself as he rocked his hips.
“Oh…fuck, yeah. Keep going. That’s it.” I bit the inside of my cheek as though it might stave off my orgasm. I was so damn close.
Phoenix threw his head back and let his hips fly as he stroked himself. When I clutched his ass and lifted to meet him thrust for thrust, he lost his rhythm. He came with a cry a moment later, spurting cum on my chest as he quaked uncontrollably. I wanted to give him time to collect himself, but I just couldn’t do it. I pulled him over me, then rolled us sideways and fucked him relentlessly before falling apart.
I’d never had an orgasm quite like that. Ever. I felt like I’d been propelled into space at the speed of light only to slow to a stop and float somewhere above it all. With Phoenix.
I disengaged from him carefully and removed the spent condom, wadded it in tissue, and tossed it into or hopefully near the trashcan next to my nightstand. I pulled out more tissue and swiped at the mess of cum and sweat on my chest before handing the box to Phoenix. He stared at it with a bashful half smile before taking two.
“Hmm. I should clean up and—”
“Well, since I’m partially responsible, I should help,” I said in a serious tone.
When he chuckled and shook his head, I jumped on top of him, grabbed the tissue from his hand, and helped him clean up. I nipped his inner thigh and breathed in our combined scent on his skin. Then I threw the tissues on the floor and pulled a few from the box and flung them haphazardly in the air like confetti to make him laugh.
“You’re ridiculous.” He beamed at me with a starry-eyed look that made me feel ten feet tall.
“I try.” I rolled to face him and brushed his hair from his forehead before asking, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Phoenix closed his eyes and collapsed back on the pillow theatrically. “I didn’t think it would be a big deal.”
“Liar,” I chided without heat.
He sighed as he propped himself up again. “Okay…the truth is, I thought you might not want to be with me if you knew I’d never done it before.”
I wanted to say he was wrong, but I wasn’t sure. The last time I’d been with a virgin, I was one too and we were both sixteen. That seemed like a lifetime ago.
“I don’t know. You’re pretty fucking hot,” I said, kissing his nose. “I just wish you’d told me. I would have gone slower and been more gentle.”
“Then I’m glad I didn’t. It was perfect.”
I brushed his hair over his ear. “Can I ask you something?”
“I don’t know. Is it embarrassing?”
“No. There’s no right or wrong answer. I’m just wondering.…Why? I mean, you’ve been with other guys and you’ve had boyfriends, so…I don’t really get it. Were you saving yourself for the right guy?”
“Is there such a thing?” Phoenix scoffed. “My problem is a combination of bad luck and bad taste. I tend to go for jocks with big reputations on and off the field. My last boyfriend is a great example. He was a basketball player.”
“You mean off the court, then.” I smoothed the lines on his forehead. “Basketball is played on a court, not a field.”
“If you say so. Anyway, I met James at a campus party at Arizona State last year. We hit it off right away. We could talk about anything. Movies, music…Shakespeare.”
“Wow. He sounds exciting,” I snarked.
Phoenix grinned. “I thought so. A sexy jock who can recite sonnets? Sold! Other than the fact he always seemed to be busy, I thought I hit the boyfriend jackpot. He came to all of my plays, he was polite to my parents, sweet to my sister, and…he was good in bed.”
“If he’d been that good, you would have fucked.”
“We got close a few times…like really close. Part A nudging Part B—if you know what I mean.”
“I get the idea. Sounds like he was a bottom.”
“Maybe so. I feel like I should have guessed, but you can’t always tell. My other ex was a rugby player. He was a huge, burly dude who eventually admitted he’d rather have my dick in his ass than—”
“Whoa. Hang on. You fucked the rugby player?”
“Yeah,” he replied matter-of-factly.
“More than once?”
“Sure. Sam was my boyfriend. We did it all the time.”
I couldn’t stop my shit-eating grin from spreading like wildfire. “I think I get it now. You have a lot of experience, you just didn’t have the experience you wanted. Thus the indecent proposal. Am I right?”
“Well…”
“No complaints here. Although, I still would have gone slower. And why did you say ‘Stick it in’? Was that what you did to poor Sam?”
“Ugh. I knew you’d make this embarrassing. I was just…nervous.”
“Hey, I’m teasing you.” I tweaked his nose playfully, then kissed it. “So what happened with the basketball player?”
He went suddenly quiet. “He had a girlfriend.”
“You’re kidding?”
“Nope. A cheerleader, no less.”
“How did you find out? Did he tell you?”
“No. I surprised him. I went to one of his games and stayed to congratulate him. I was just making my way down the bleachers when I witnessed their celebratory kiss. I tried to tell myself she was an enthusiastic friend, but the tongue action told another story,” he said.
“That fucker.”
Phoenix let out a half laugh. “Yeah. It sucked. We were together for a year. Except we weren’t. He was with her the whole time. I was the side piece. His gay curiosity. I was crushed. I thought he was out, but he was only out when no one was looking. I’d always planned on moving to LA, but after that fiasco, I couldn’t wait to leave. The second my last final was over, I packed up my car and Sunny and I headed west. I met Braden soon after and—”
“The volleyball player?” I waited for his nod, then added, “Also played on a court, by the way.”
“Thanks. I remember that…not,” he quipped sarcastically as he traced the veins on my forearm. “Braden is a good guy and even though he has a taste for the theater, he’s not for me. I’m not interested in slowly coaxing my boyfriend out of the closet and only partially enjoying sex because I’m too afraid to ask for what I want.”
“Aka, dick.”
“Exactly. But most of all, I don’t want to compete with anyone else. You’ve already told me you’re staying in the closet, the sex is amazing, and as far as I know, you don’t have a girlfriend.”
“Nope.”
“That’s why you’re perfect. I like you, but I don’t have any expectations of you. We can just have fun. Honest fun. No lies, no crazy secrets…just sex.”
His proposal made sense now. In fact, it was kind of genius. We both got what we wanted without the mess of a relationship. He’d been burned just like I had. He wasn’t going to try to trick me into something I didn’t want. I should have been relieved to have everything out in the open. But I liked him a little more than I should have. A sure sign, if I needed one, that I might be in over my head.