Hard as I tried, it was impossible to avoid Josh and Tessa at college. Even though it was a pretty big campus, we had to cross paths to go to different classes. And we lived fairly close in a small town, which meant we sometimes walked past each other going to and from college, too. It didn’t help my mood.
Ever since the memorial, Tessa had worn a sad puppy look. Being dead seemed to be finally getting to her. It was about time. At first, it’d felt like she’d almost enjoyed it. But after the memorial, it was like a switch had been flicked. One that made her realise just how isolated she was. I felt sorry for her, but she’d made it pretty clear she didn’t want help with any emotional issues, and my purpose was to stop her murderer. Nothing else. So that was what I was going to focus on, not because I wanted to help her, but because I wanted to get rid of her.
It was a mild day for the middle of December, so I chose to eat my lunch in the courtyard. I couldn’t be bothered to walk all the way home when I had a lesson in an hour. It seemed pointless. So I settled in with my sandwich and watched the world go by while I ate.
There weren’t many flowers or birds or bugs to watch. It was too cold. But there were plenty of people about. And between those red-bricked walls, they still couldn’t stop talking about Tessa and the possibility that the old mining town had its very own serial killer.
Some people thought it was cool. Finally, the town had a claim to fame. Apparently Lord Byron, Ada Lovelace, and Eric Coates weren’t enough for them.
Others were afraid they might be next. After all, they didn’t know what the murderer’s MO was. Or if he even had one.
They also didn’t know the murderer was a ghost. It wasn’t like I could tell them that part. Given that they couldn’t see ghosts, they’d either think I was mad or it’d create widespread panic. So I kept my mouth shut.
‘Can I—can I sit here, please?’ said Tessa. She sounded unnaturally sheepish.
I nodded, putting my sandwich back into my lunchbox and switching it for my phone, which I held to my ear.
‘Is that so people don’t think you’re nuts when you’re talking to me?’
‘Yeah,’ I said.
She raised her head in acknowledgement. ‘Does it work?’
‘So far.’
‘Huh.’
We sat in silence for a moment, so I resumed eating my sandwich. It wasn’t like we had a lot in common. We had even less now that she was dead.
All right, fine. We had more in common than I liked to think. Now that she was dead, my family were the only ones who could help her. I was pretty sure she wouldn’t cross over until her murderer was stopped. And she couldn’t do that alone.
‘Do you remember anything else about what happened to you?’
She lowered her head, shaking it just once. ‘I’ve been trying. But it’s like a black hole in my mind. Like I was drugged or hypnotised or something.’
‘Probably a defence mechanism,’ I said.
She nodded. ‘Most things are fragments, like an old, broken mosaic that’s been lost and rediscovered. The last thing I remember clearly is sleeping with Andre.’ She put her hand to her mouth. She’d cheated on Josh? After kicking up all that fuss to get him? Bitch.
‘What’s that face for?’ said Tessa.
‘You chased Josh for months, then cheated on him within weeks?’
She shrugged. ‘Why do guys married to movie stars sleep with the hot nanny?’
I shook my head. I really wanted to rage at her, but I knew that was inappropriate in public. So instead, I finished my sandwich, biting into it more aggressively than necessary. And hurting my tongue. Ow.
There was no one else around because the next lot of lessons were about to start. So I took the opportunity to look Tessa dead in the eye: ‘You’re unbelievable, you know that?’
*
I felt sick for the rest of the afternoon. Tessa had made my life hell. She’d chased Josh even before I’d moved back to Hucknall. And after all that, she’d cheated on one of the nicest guys in the world? What a bitch. Josh didn’t deserve that. He’d been through enough.
Fadil was sitting on the sofa, playing with Tilly, when I got home. ‘Why do you look like you could breathe fire?’ His voice still sounded hoarse, but it was a little better. I wasn’t sure if that was because his health was improving or he’d been living on chicken soup. Mum had bribed Maggie to make him some more, and she’d obliged, making a vat of the stuff so big it had barely fitted into Ben’s freezer. And of course, it was full of vegetables containing vitamin C, too.
I dropped my bag on to the chair by the window and stormed into the kitchen. Fadil and Tilly followed.
Mum was sitting on a stool, leaning over the stove, making some sort of dish I didn’t recognise. It must’ve been one of Maggie’s recipes, because there was no way she’d experiment in the kitchen otherwise. She wasn’t a confident enough cook. Whatever she was making, though, it smelled good.
Mum span around on her chair and lowered her sunglasses to look at me. ‘What’s with the scowl?’
I flapped my arms in the air. ‘Tessa cheated on Josh!’
‘Does he know?’ Mum put her sunglasses back on, then turned one of the pans down on the hob. I smelled hints of cheese, bacon, chicken, and milk. Yum.
‘No. But she confirmed it! And she was so…chill about it! Josh deserves better than that!’
‘What do you mean by “chill”?’ Fadil turned away from me, sneezing into his elbow. ‘Stupid germs.’
Without even looking away from the stove, Mum pointed to a packet of cough sweets by the kettle. I got up and passed it to Fadil, who took one out and sucked on it. The smell of menthol and blackcurrant took over the room, engulfing even the aroma of the food Mum was cooking. But hopefully it helped his throat. And I didn’t mind the smell anyway. It was kind of soothing, actually.
Fadil picked Tilly up and put her on his lap. She sat with her bum against his stomach, her front feet resting on his knees. It was a weird, cute pose she did a lot.
I flapped my arms again. I probably looked like a baby bird trying and failing to fly, but I was frustrated and didn’t know how else to get rid of some of my pent-up anger. ‘Like it was no big deal. She even compared it to celebrity guys who cheat on their hot wives with the hot nanny.’ I shook my head.
‘Half the time, those nannies aren’t even hot,’ said Mum.
‘Mum! So not the point!’
‘Right. Of course.’ She picked up the blue stress ball I’d been using to help with revision and threw it between her hands. It was weirdly hypnotic to watch.
‘It’s a power trip,’ said Fadil, the cough sweet rattling between his teeth. ‘They feel like they can get anyone they want, and they want to prove it.’
I sat down, tapping my foot against the chair leg. ‘Should I tell Josh? I should tell Josh, shouldn’t I?’
’No!’ said Fadil, at the same time Mum said, ‘yes!’
Frazzle.
‘Well that wasn’t helpful.’
Mum and Fadil exchanged glances.
Mum stopped throwing the ball and clutched it in her right hand. ‘You have a moral obligation to share what you know with him. He didn’t deserve any of this. It might help him move on.’
Fadil shook his head. ‘No way. It’s none of your business. And it’s not like Josh would listen to you anyway, based on what you’ve said. He’d probably accuse you of making it up to drive a wedge between them. Especially since you haven’t mentioned he’s being haunted by her yet, or that you’ve spoken to her ghost. So he’d question your sources.’
Double frazzle. He was right. As much as I wanted to tell Josh the truth, I wasn’t close enough to him anymore. He’d never believe me. It wasn’t like I could blame him, either.
Mum met my eye. She frowned. Great. She knew Fadil was right, too.
So it looked like it didn’t matter what I wanted to do. I wouldn’t be able to do it anyway.