Tessa? Cooperate with me? Mum had to be joking. I didn’t see it happening, but I did believe it was key to helping her – and Josh, and me – move on. Even though I really didn’t want to do it.
I walked along the college corridor, contemplating the best way to deal with Josh and Tessa. Was there a best way? Or was I going to have to make it up as I went along?
I was paying so little attention I walked straight into Tessa. ‘Frazzle. Sorry.’
Tessa kept looking down and turned away from me. That was new. Where had her antagonistic streak gone? Had something else happened?
Josh, who’d obviously been standing nearby, talking to Melanie and Laura, looked over at me. He narrowed his eyes in confusion. I jerked my head into an empty classroom.
‘Can you excuse me a moment please, ladies?’ he said to Melanie and Laura. My skin prickled at how polite he was to them. He hadn’t been like that with me for a long time.
‘Sure,’ said Laura.
Melanie met my eye for a moment, a question in her gaze. I nodded, hoping she understood that it was about Tessa. She nodded back, guiding Laura away.
Josh and I went into the classroom. I expected Tessa to follow, but she didn’t.
It was an art room, so the walls were adorned with students’ finished paintings, and there was a rack in the corner where the paint was drying. The tables were covered in paint splashes, and a couple had half-finished drawings on them. I stared at one of a laptop, trying to focus on the detail so that I didn’t have to look at Josh’s face while talking to him. Being so close to him just reminded me of everything we’d lost because of Dominic.
‘What do you want?’ said Josh. His tone was curter than I would’ve liked, but I didn’t really blame him.
‘Did something happen with Tessa?’ I asked.
He rolled his eyes. ‘Yeah. She’s dead. Obviously.’
I pursed my lips. Of course. He didn’t know. I’d thought he might’ve figure it out by now, or at least wonder, but obviously not.
Something seemed to click in his mind. ‘Is she a ghost? Is she here? Now?’ He seemed to perk up a bit, as if the prospect of interacting with her again made him happy.
My heart plummeted. Maybe he really did have feelings for her. ‘She’s not in this room, but she is a ghost. And she’s haunting you.’
‘What? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?’
‘It’s not really the kind of thing most people want to know. It tends to freak them out,’ I said. Can’t imagine why.
‘Is she following me, like, everywhere? Including the shower? The toilet?’
I pursed my lips. Only Tessa could answer that, although I really hoped the answer was no.
‘Can you, like, stop her from haunting me? Or is she tied to me forever?’ Now he seemed a little bit spooked. That was the reaction most people had. That or disbelief, but we’d already gone through that stage with Josh.
‘That’s up to her.’ There’d probably be something in the Book of the Dead about it, but I still hadn’t translated that much of it. I was too nervous of what I might learn. While I liked knowledge, I didn’t always like knowing what I could do with my powers.
And translating it was a lot of effort. It was easier to ask Gran. Or get Dad to ask her. She seemed more willing to give him straight answers than anyone else. Maybe it was a respect thing because he was also a powerful ghost. Who knew? ‘I imagine once her murderer is caught, she’ll cross over, but I don’t know for definite. It depends what unfinished business she has. Can you meet me at the park after English? I think it’ll be somewhere quiet you can talk to her.’
‘As in, I’ll be able to see her?’
‘I’ll have to translate. She can’t make herself visible to you, but I can let you know what she said.’
To Tessa’s dismay, probably. But being able to make herself visible was beyond any power she had. Without any magical powers, she’d have to channel her emotions to be able to do it and that took some ghosts years to learn, if they ever did learn to do it.
He sighed, stuffing his hands into his pockets. ‘All right.’ He left the empty art classroom without saying anything else.
I hated that things had become so stilted between us. We’d been so close, but so much had happened that I wasn’t sure our friendship would ever recover. Things had ended so badly with me and him, and me and Dominic, and I was the villain in both situations. I didn’t want to be that for Tessa, too. She’d been a bitch to me, and she’d never be my favourite person, but I hated to see her suffering. No one deserved the kind of death she’d experienced, not even her. It was horrific, and it would destroy her spirit if she stuck around too long.
She had all the hallmarks of a future poltergeist – a tragic death, a broken heart, and a bitchy streak. Although I hoped that her looking so sad meant she was starting to feel the consequences of her actions. It was just a shame it’d taken her death for that to happen.
*
English class felt longer than usual, and not just because there was a heavy focus on revision rather than on learning anything new and interesting.
Once the hour was up, I practically ran out of the classroom, making my way to the park alone so that I could think, instead of waiting for Josh and Tessa.
Josh had avoided my gaze for the whole of class. That wasn’t anything new, but he seemed different since I’d told him about the haunting. More relaxed, almost. I doubted that had anything to do with me. Especially after the way he’d perked up when I’d told him Tessa was haunting him and that he could speak to her.
Did he really have feelings for her? Had he had them when we were together? I really hoped not, but he’d moved on so quickly, it seemed impossible that he couldn’t have. Feelings didn’t develop that fast. Did they?
I sat on one of the swings in the park, staring at my combat boots. Tessa and I were so different. How could Josh have ever had feelings for both of us? Or was that why he had?
‘So, where is she?’ Josh had appeared in front of me and was now watching me expectantly.
To most people, he looked the same as he always had: blond hair, blue eyes, wearing blue jeans and a quilted coat. To those who knew him well, he was different. He walked with his head bowed and his shoulders hunched. He struggled to make eye contact with people, especially Mum and me. But it was his eyes that really gave him away. They had a haunted look to them that they hadn’t had a few weeks ago.
I looked over his shoulder. Tessa stood as far away as she could, her arms folded as she watched a cocker spaniel running through the park with its owner.
It was a big, open park filled with half-dead grass, a handful of trees around the periphery, and a children’s play park, which we were currently in. The spaniel and its owner were too far away to hear us, and there was no one else around, so we could talk freely.
‘Behind you,’ I said.
Figuring out we were talking about her, Tessa floated over. ‘What are you doing?’
‘Giving you two the opportunity to talk,’ I said.
Tessa’s jaw fell. ‘Why…why would you do that?’
‘She’s asking why I’m helping you two talk,’ I said to Josh. ‘Because it’s the right thing to do,’ I told Tessa. ‘So, what would you two like to say to each other?’
They both started talking at the same time. I put my hand up. ‘One at a time, please. I can’t translate if you’re both talking. Tessa, you go first.’
‘What am I supposed to say?’
I’d never known Tessa speechless before. It was refreshing. ‘Say whatever’s on your mind and that you’d like Josh to know.’
Josh sat on the swing beside me. It gave me flashbacks of all the times we’d sat together on the swings while out with Tilly. I forced the memories down. It wasn’t the time. It was a very different time. I’d never expected to be on the swings with him as his ex-girlfriend, passing on messages to him from his dead girlfriend. Complicated, much?
Tessa hovered up and down a few times. It was a habit I’d seen from a lot of restless ghosts. They tended to do that or pace. ‘I guess…tell him I’m sorry. I was so busy worrying about my own future that I couldn’t enjoy the moment enough to really spend time with him or be there for him in the way that he needed.’
Well, I hadn’t expected that. After a deep breath, I repeated what she’d said.
Josh wiped at the corner of his eye with his coat sleeve. Was he crying? He didn’t usually get that emotional so fast. Should I have thought this through more?
‘I know you left the party with that guy,’ said Josh.
Tessa looked like a deer in headlights. ‘I don’t know what he’s talking about.’
‘Tessa, come on,’ I said.
‘What’s she saying?’ asked Josh.
I pushed myself off from the ground and began swinging. ‘That she doesn’t know what you’re talking about.’ I met her eye and added defiantly: ‘but I know she does.’
Tessa’s nostrils flared. I smirked back at her.
‘What do you know?’ Josh asked me.
I raised an eyebrow at Tessa in challenge. ‘Would you like me to tell him? Or should he hear it from you?’
‘Well, he’s going to hear it from you regardless, isn’t he?’ said Tessa, that inner malicious streak returning. Defence mode: engaged.
‘He can hear it from me, or he can hear it in your words. Your choice. I know it isn’t ideal, but it’s going to mean more to him if it comes from you.’
That seemed to soften her a little. Her chest rose and fell in a staccato rhythm a few times. If she’d still been alive, she’d probably have started crying. ‘We’d had an argument. It’s not an excuse, but it left me feeling kind of hurt. You said I was emotionally detached, but I felt like you were, too.’ She shook her head. ‘It was a bad combination, so I sought comfort.’
‘She said that you had an argument, which isn’t an excuse, but it left her hurt,’ I translated. ‘You said she was emotionally detached, but she felt like you were, too. That combination left her seeking comfort.’
Josh lowered her head. ‘She’s probably right. Emotional detachment is easier. I can’t get hurt if I don’t feel anything.’
‘Josh—’
He put his hand up to stop me from saying anything else. ‘I don’t want your sympathy. I was tortured by demons because of you. Do you have any idea what that’s like? I had no idea what was real and what wasn’t. The only constant was you. You. They kept talking all about you. Sometimes they even pretended to be you.’ He practically spat you every time he said it, as if I still disgusted him. Knife to the heart, much?
‘He was tortured by demons?’ said Tessa. ‘When?’
‘When he was in the coma,’ I said to Tessa.
‘That’s right,’ said Josh, figuring out what Tessa had asked. ‘For ten days, demons teased me, tormented me, tortured me. They’d dangle exactly what I wanted in front of me, then rip it away in the worst possible way. I wasn’t sure it would ever end. It was like a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from.’
‘But it did end,’ I said.
‘How do I know it won’t happen again? So long as you’re around, I’m in danger.’
How had this conversation about him and Tessa turned into one about him and me? I wasn’t going to stop him, though. I had a feeling this was the first time he’d really opened up about what had happened to him. Hopefully it would offer him some sort of catharsis. Even if every one of his words just drew the knife deeper into my chest. He’d already broken my heart once. Why not shatter it again into even more pieces?
‘You don’t,’ I said. ‘Just the same as we didn’t know it’d happen the first time. What Dominic did to you was incredibly rare and complicated magic. Putting a blood curse on top of demonic torture like that? Nobody we know has ever done that before. And I doubt anyone else would be cruel enough to ever do it again.’
‘You don’t know that, though. Do you?’
‘He’s right,’ said Tessa in that know-it-all tone of hers.
I rolled my eyes at her. ‘Of course we don’t know for certain. But it takes a lot of power and he likely didn’t do it alone. He probably worked with a demon from the Demonic Realm. Most people aren’t stupid, reckless, or dangerous enough to do that.’
‘Are you sure?’
All right, now he was winding me up. Did he expect me to have all the answers or something?
I stopped swinging, causing the bark underneath the swing to fly a flew inches. I tightened my grip on the strings of the swing. ‘Tell me one thing in life that’s for sure.’
‘The grass is green,’ he said.
‘What if it doesn’t rain for a bit and it dies and turns brown? Looks like that’s happening right now.’ I pointed over to where the man and his dog had been. There wasn’t much green left there. ‘Or if it rains too much and becomes a different shade of green? Or it rains so much that it floods and kills the grass that way?’
‘All right. The sky is blue.’
‘Technically it’s not, it’s an illusion. And things like clouds, lightning, eclipses, and smog change it. Nothing in life is permanent except impermanence. We can worry about everything that might happen, or we can make the most of the situation we’re in. Either way, change is going to happen.’
The tension in Josh’s shoulders released, as if my words had got through to him on some level. I really hoped they had. They were all I had to try to comfort him. ‘Tessa, I’m sorry for disconnecting. You didn’t deserve that.’
Tessa’s lip quivered. ‘And you didn’t deserve for me to betray you. You’ve been hurt enough already. I had no idea.’
I repeated her words.
‘I didn’t want you to,’ said Josh. ‘I had to keep the supernatural a secret, but having nobody I could talk to about everything just ended up hurting more people.’
‘Is there anyone he can talk to? Like, a supernatural counsellor?’ Tessa asked me.
‘Tessa wants to know if you’d be willing to talk to the healer we know. She has a degree in psychology and has been working with your mum,’ I said. Alanis seemed to have been a great help to Maggie, although she was much more open to therapy than her son was.
‘I’ll consider it,’ he said.
It was progress. I’d take it.
Tessa almost smiled at me. It was a kind of mutual appreciation for him being open to the possibility of help. It was as close to us being on the same side as we’d ever get.
‘Do you mind if I have a minute alone, please?’ said Josh.
I went to stand, but Josh beat me to it. ‘If you stay within about a hundred yards, Tessa can stay here and still have someone to talk to.’
Josh nodded, then walked off.
Tessa’s body seemed to relax. ‘I feel better after that, thanks. As much as I don’t like you, I know you were the only person who could do that.’
I tightened my grip on the strings holding the swing up. If I held on much tighter, I was going to get rope burn.
‘Can I tell you something?’ she asked.
‘Sure.’
I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to hear what she had to say, but who else did she have?
‘Mentally, I feel like I might be ready to cross over. But I can’t until whoever did this to me is stopped. And I find out why they chose me.’
I tapped the string with my black fingernails. Should I tell her? It wasn’t like she was unaware of the paranormal anymore.
‘What? What aren’t you telling me? Do you know who did this?’
If I didn’t tell her, she’d only pester me even more.
‘Yes. He’s a Victorian ghost on a power trip. He kills people for their powers.’
She frowned. ‘But I don’t have any powers.’
‘Supernatural abilities aren’t the only forms of power. We think he targeted you for your intelligence, but we don’t think it worked.’
‘He wanted my brains? Well, that’s a first from a guy.’ She faked a laugh. ‘You have to be joking. This type of thing isn’t real.’
‘Wish I was.’
She stepped closer to me, studying me with curiosity. ‘Are you really a necromancer?’
‘Yes.’
Tessa’s gaze intensified. ‘You’re…still not joking?’
‘No. Like I said: there’s a lot more than witches in this world. And witches are the least of our concerns.’