Release Rigidity

Valerian

Valeriana officinalis

Valerian stands tall in the garden, her stem stiff to compensate for a hollow core. But don’t let her upright stance fool you: Valerian dreams of being a cat. In her efforts to become more mammalian, she’s evolved an animal-like oil that acts as perfume to those with feline proclivities (while smelling like sweaty gym socks to the rest of us!).

Why a cat, you ask? Valerian’s been watching felines and has come to the gleeful conclusion that cats are rather shameless and more content because of it. She asks you to aspire to a life free of self-flagellation and daily denigrations. Valerian begs you to relax — your armored body, your stiff thoughts, your rigid emotions — and then join her for a (shameless) afternoon nap.

Ritual

Rest

Valerian wants only one thing from you: an afternoon nap (especially if you have the idea that naps are lazy, languorous, or too luxurious for you to indulge in!). Find a sunny spot and curl up for 10 to 20 minutes, which is the ideal length of time for napping because it allows your body to deeply relax without your mind dropping into REM sleep.

Cat Nap

Research has found that when we are left to our own devices, humans do a big sleep at night and a second shorter sleep in the afternoon. So not napping is actually unnatural; you are hardwired for an afternoon siesta. If you know you’re going to have a late night, preemptive napping (for up to 2 hours) is the way to go. And, as with all things, one size does not fit all: some people are simply not good nappers. Listen to your body!

Reflection

Exploring Shame

Shame is the feeling you get when you behave in a way that’s antithetical to your ideals. We’ve all experienced big shames, necessary learning moments that allow us to fine-tune our moral compass. But when we allow our thinking to become overly rigid or self-righteous, we create a million corrosive small shames.

Think about when you last felt ashamed:

• What ideal did you not quite live up to?
• Looking back, was your shame attached to unnecessarily rigid thinking?
• Is there a way to be kinder, while still being true, to yourself?

Shame is the dream killer, because shame (or the possibility of shame) amplifies our fear of fear, keeps us from contributing, and short circuits our willingness to explore.

Seth Godin