Declan put the truck in park and stretched the kinks of the long day from his neck and back. He hadn’t anticipated it taking all day, but the interview had been productive. James had been nothing but kind, and the man wasn’t capable of judgement. He hopped out of the truck with a spring in his step, longing to tell Felicia everything, to declare their relationship official, that he’d have a real job, with benefits and income.
A light shone through the front window from the kitchen. Had Felicia waited up for him? A rush of adrenaline filled every nerve ending in his body, so he bolted into the house without even knocking, ready to share the life-altering news.
Felicia sat at the table with a frown, downcast gaze telling him something was wrong. A hundred horrific images of Nana suffering another stroke, the front crop flooded, the business going under all flashed in two blinks.
He raced to her side. “What is it?”
She turned her head and looked at him with a distant gaze, as if she didn’t see him.
“You okay? What happened?” He clutched her arms and turned her to face him. “You’re scaring me. Please, tell me.” When he didn’t get a response, he searched the area for answers. He raced to Nana’s room, finding her snoring and well. When he returned, Felicia still sat mute at the table. He knelt by her side and took both her hands in his, placing her palm to his chest. “My heart is beating like a wild bronco. What’s wrong? Tell me. You can tell me anything.”
“Embezzlement,” she breathed more than spoke the one life-altering word.
He fell back onto his heels. “What are you talking about?”
“That’s what this letter says.” She slid her hand free from his and passed him a piece of paper on formal letterhead from some firm he’d never heard of.
“What’s this?” He scanned the words on the paper, accusing someone of stealing money from the nursery. She knew. She’d found out about what Lacey had been doing. He tossed the paper to the side and pulled her into his arms. “I’m so sorry, my dear, sweet Felicia. I’m so sorry.”
Her eyes shot wide. “No, it’s not true. It can’t be.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I know I should have, but I didn’t know how. I’ve fallen for you, and I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“You didn’t want to hurt me?” Felicia shouted. Her words came out like a strangled cry.
“No. I’d never want to hurt you. I…I love you.”
“Love me?” Felicia grabbed his shirt with an iron grip. “No, you could never steal from me. Tell me it’s not true.”
“What?” Fire burned his skin, searing up his spine to the back of his neck. “It wasn’t me. I didn’t steal from you. I discovered what Lacey was doing, and I confronted her. Did she tell you I was the one stealing?” He attempted to pull her hands free and take her into his arms, but he couldn’t unfurl her fingers without worrying about hurting her.
Her hands released him and slipped to her lap. “She said you’d say that.” Felicia chuckled, but tears streamed down her face. “Lacey said that’s why she went to a forensic accountant.” She swiped the tears from her cheeks. “I didn’t believe her. The Declan Mills I know wouldn’t do such a thing.”
“You’re right, I wouldn’t.” He stood and paced around the table, one word echoing in his head. “You said you didn’t believe her. As if you do now.”
“No, of course not.”
Her voice didn’t convince him. “But?”
“No buts.”
“You don’t believe me now.”
“It’s not that. It’s just that I know a man who says he has a mother in a facility in Riverbend, yet I’ve never met her. Why? Because you’ve never taken me to meet her.”
He shook his head, willing her to understand. “She only agreed to see me that one time. She won’t see me again. I didn’t want to put you through going and feeling the rejection that I feel every time I try to visit her.”
She looked up at him with bloodshot eyes. “Don’t you see, it isn’t about innocence or guilt. It’s about trust. When you took so long to return, I worried you were keeping some other plan to make your life better a secret from me. I believe in you and trust that you wouldn’t steal from me, but you’ve never trusted me with the whole truth about anything.”
He wanted to make her see all he’d done was for her. “I did go for a job interview. I’m late because the bridge at the river was flooded and I couldn’t get through. I had to drive fifty miles out of the way to get home. Two detours more, and I’m finally here. I did all that to be here with you.”
“Yes, you’re here now and you declare your love, yet you still keep your distance from me. Do you see how messed up this is? Felicia stood and circled the small living room. “When do you start trusting me with the truth and stop running from us?”
Declan didn’t try to catch her or touch her the way his body craved. In that moment, he realized how all this had to look to Felicia. “That’s what this is about. You feel rejected.”
“Rejected?” Felicia lifted her chin. “No, I feel confused, lost, tired.”
His heart sank to his gut. “I knew this would happen. I see it in your eyes. The doubt.”
“I told you, this isn’t about guilt or innocence. It’s about you letting me in. Telling me everything, trusting me with your truth.”
He shook his head. “No, I see it in your eyes. You might not believe Lacey, but you don’t believe me either. If you won’t admit it to me, admit it to yourself. Why did I think there could be a future for me here, with you? I’ve been lying to myself. There’s no way any woman could ever believe a man with a history like mine.” He stepped toward the door. His insides shredded with the realization that he’d lost her to his past, like he’d lost everything else. Enough. He wouldn’t continue to let everything be taken from him. He wouldn’t lose his freedom this time. “I’m not taking the fall this time, though. I’ll prove my innocence. I’m just sorry that I had my hopes up about everything between us. I was excited tonight to return and tell you that I got the job.”
A sound, almost like a whimper, came from Felicia, but he ignored it. He needed to be strong. This time, he wouldn’t allow himself to believe in miracles and happily ever afters. He needed to take care of himself and make sure he stayed out of jail. But one glance at the woman only feet from him, and he knew he’d never be able to allow another woman into his life. She was it. His everything, and she was lost to him.
“Go ahead and run. It’s what you do best. Putting distance between us.”
Declan stopped dead at the door and faced Felicia one last time. “I won’t run. I wouldn’t put you through that. All I’m going to say is that I’m innocent. I have no proof yet. But I am innocent. I’m warning you now, though. I won’t take the fall for someone else again. I will not stop until Lacey is arrested and tried for a crime she tried to pin on me.” He bolted out the front door. His stomach roiled and protested the fast food he’d consumed on the way home trying to hurry back to Felicia.
With heavy steps, he stumbled into the camper and sank onto his bed.
His hands shook.
His mind shook.
His heart shook.
Shook with the realization that the woman he loved said she believed him, but she was still letting the accusations against him make her feelings waver. That the one person he thought would never see him as a criminal had just let one piece of paper change the foundation of their relationship.
Stella’s father had been right about one thing when he’d dragged him into Sugar Maple searching for his daughter. No one would ever really believe an ex-con.