I tried to concentrate on the conversation. Laura and Chase had a lot of valid ideas. We could save a lot of time and possibly lives if we broke into four different groups. One group for each missing couple. The leaders would be Chase, myself, Quinton my current enforcer and Laura. Each group would retrieve one of the missing couples. Everything about the plan made sense. Yet I was struggling to agree. I could feel Laura's emotions and knew that she thought my hesitation was because I had a lack of confidence in her skills. I could see her old fears rearing their ugly head in her eyes.
I felt a sinking sensation in the pit of my stomach and knew that I had to agree. Any other choice would cause Laura to doubt my sincerity. I knew she was capable. Hell she was better trained and had more experience than anyone in my Bastet pride. Of the four of us she was the most suited to be a mission leader. Laura's abilities were not what were causing me to hesitate. The truth was I felt needy and just wasn't ready to be parted from her so soon. I found the idea of being separated so soon after blood bonding nerve wracking. Something was causing the hair on the back of my neck to stand at attention.
I looked over at Laura and again felt her fear and saw the uneasiness on her face. She was sitting on pins and needles praying that I would be the man she needed me to be. Pulling a false sense of courage around me like a blanket I forced myself to raise my hand effectively silencing Chase. Then said
"Then the plan is set. Four team leads with groups of three."
I saw a genuine smile bloom on Laura's face. I stopped and pulled her snugly into my arms before continuing
"My team will consist of me Joe and Toby. Laura can take Mora and Johan with her. Chase you take Joanna and Uri with you. Quinton can take Tory and Roxy with him. My parents are with Rena visiting the cubs. I'll send Henri tonight to ask them to come home. I think it would be best if I put my mom and dad in charge of the pride while we're all gone. Chase, you go inform the others. Tell everyone we will have a meeting tomorrow morning in Pride Hall. We can review all the details we know and head out."
With each word out of my mouth I felt my courage slipping. The more I thought of being separated from Laura the more my soul ached. I had this uncomfortable feeling that I just might never see her again. I pushed it from my mind and nodded towards Chase and finished with
"Thanks for all the help tonight. I'll see you in the morning. I find I am desperate to have alone time with my mate."
Then I quickly twisted Laura in my arms so that her face was just inches from mine. I looked into her warm loving eyes and allowed my lips to press gently against her warm swollen lips. I heard Chase exit at the same time a soft sensual moan escaped Laura's throat. I lifted us both from the floor and laid us on our bed. I was in a frenzy to bond my body and soul with hers. I needed to feel completely saturated and surrounded by Laura. That feeling of dread and loss was back with a vengeance and I needed to fill myself with Laura.
My hands roamed and touched as our souls joined and interlaced with each other. Our bodies moved against each other in harmony as I found peace within her arms. I felt my soul light with a thousand tiny electrical shocks as in union Laura and I reached complete and rapture and fulfillment. I awoke with my heart slamming against my rib cage and my body trembling with fear. Sweat and the smell of terror clung to my flesh. I had a nightmare that I'd messed up bad and managed to get myself killed while collecting my pride members. I was filled with despair as my soul shuddered with misery and sorrow. In the dream, I watched in shame and horror as I watched my beautiful strong mate collapse in heartache as she watched my body being placed on the funeral fire.
I forced the dream from my thoughts and slipped quietly out of the bed. I didn't want Laura to smell the fear on me and mistake it for a lack of confidence in her skills. I knew that no matter what I was feeling it was important that I kept a strong front for Laura. She would never believe my trepidation and concerns for the upcoming mission had anything to do with my own abilities. I just prayed the foreboding feeling and my dream wasn't some type of premonition.
I flicked on the shower water and climbed in. I let the searing hot water pound my back as I considered my best options. I'd just found my mate and I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I would need to keep myself alert and ready for anything while I was leading the mission. My main goal would be to prove these uneasy feelings were nothing more than honeymoon jitters. I was just about finished washing when I heard the bathroom door open and close. I smiled in anticipation of Laura joining me in the shower. Only seconds later the curtain was pushed aside and my beautiful mate popped her head in.
Her hair was a mess and her lips were swollen and red. She had the look of a woman that had been thoroughly loved the night before. She moved slightly and I caught a whiff of her desire and found my body instantly reacting. Then she slowly stepped in making sure that every movement of her body screamed of sexuality. I pulled her into my arms and placed a soft kiss on her lips. I tried to concentrate on nothing but the present but the fear was still nagging at me. I wanted to allow myself to submerge in all that was Laura. With that single purpose I found myself saying
"Hey baby, I'm glad you decided to join me in the shower. We have about an hour before we need to meet the others in Pride Hall. How about you give me the honor of bathing you. You know for my people when a man is allowed to bath or feed his woman with his bare hands its considered nirvana. I would love it if you would allow me this honor."
I was forcing myself to remain still as I waited for her consider my offer. Then she said in a husky and somewhat timid voice
"I missed you in bed when I woke up. I think I was hoping we would pick up where we left off last night. If you want to squeeze in a bathing and some food too I could live with that."
I'd was filled with satisfaction and delight the moment Jeremy said I would be a mission leader. For the first time in my life I was proud to be me. I could feel Jeremy's confidence in my abilities in every word he spoke. I was filled with anticipation as we entered Pride Hall. I saw the faces of the other team members and almost squealed in excitement. I forced myself to tamper down my emotions and schooled my face into what I hoped looked like a consummate professional.
Jeremy and Chase presented all facts including their lineage, past Bastet pride member affiliations and any leads that were available on the four missing couples. Then they passed around the photo's we looked at the night before. The entire meeting took less than a half hour. Before we finished Jeremy passed out new satellite phones and demanded that every mission leader check in once a day with a report on findings and locations. The Jeremy wished the group as a whole good luck and dismissed us.
I asked my team to step outside for a moment so I could say my goodbyes to my mate. They smiled knowingly and left without a word. I turned to face Jeremy and found every word had simply evaporated from my mind. I opened and closed my mouth several times before I finally managed to squeak out
"Thank you for allowing me to contribute to the pride this way. You confidence in me means the world to me. I promise I will be safe and bring home your pride member."
My soul burst from me and wrapped around his. Jeremy pulled me into a warm embrace in his arms and said.
"I know you will Laura" Then he kissed me.
I knew that it was time to head out but my soul was almost screaming at me to stay just a moment longer. My heart ached with the thought of separation and I knew I wanted to say the words that continued to get stuck in the back of my throat. I forced myself to pull away from him and say
"I know I haven't said this before and maybe right before a mission isn't the best time to say it but I have to tell you before we head off but um well..."
My mouth went completely dry and I had a hard time swallow. I tried to push the words out but for some stupid reason I was still afraid to expose myself that way. I watched Jeremy blink several times. I could see he was holding back a small smile when he took pulled me back into his chest and forced me to look into his eyes. Then he ever so gently touched his lips to mine before he said
"Never one for words are you Laura. No worries... I love you Laura and I know you love me too. I'll talk to you tonight when you call me to give your report."