…
A few years ago, back in the days of the City of Glasgow Police Force. A newly promoted, young and ambitious inspector arrived at the Gorbals police office on a whim, like the proverbial new broom.’
One day, he called for the older and more experienced sergeant on his shift to come into his office.
‘Willie,’ he said, ‘Have you ever heard of a female from the Govanhill area of Glasgow, nick-named the “Heilan’ Coo”?’
The elderly sergeant thought for a moment, shook his head and said, ‘Can’t say I have. Why? Should I?’
‘Well,’ said the Inspector, ‘I have it on good authority that this particular female is allegedly, allowing uniformed police officers to frequent her house in order to drink alcohol and sample her sexual favours!
‘Och, I don’t believe that for one minute.’ replied the sergeant rather dismissively.
‘Well that’s what I’ve heard.’ said the inspector. ‘But we’ll leave it meantime until I have something concrete to go on!’
A few weeks later, the inspector received further information relative to the inquiry he was making and this time there was an address to go with it.
He rushed into the sergeant’s room and ecstatically announced.
‘Quick, Willie, come with me – I’ve got an address to check out. I think it could be the house belonging to the Heilan’ Coo.’
Both Supervisors left the office and made their way down the road on foot.
Finally, they arrived outside a large red sandstone tenement building in the Govanhill area of Glasgow.
Confirming the address written down in his notebook, he said, ‘This is it!’
He appeared very excited by this news and as they both entered the close entrance, he said, ‘It’s on the first landing to the right Willie.’
Upstairs they went, whereby the Inspector knocked on the door.
A moment or two passed, before the door was eventually opened by a small, dirty-faced little boy, who on seeing the police officers standing there in full uniform, stood staring back at them.
Then, a female voice, with a broad South Uist accent, called out from inside the house. ‘Well! Who is it William?’
Too which the small boy confidently replied, It’s my uncle Willie, wi’ another wan o’ his pals!’