Routine was healing. I set the alarm and got up to the sound of Canada Geese flying overhead. It seemed too soon for them to be migrating south. It was late August. Usually they waited for the ground to freeze over before beginning their journey. I looked up at the sky in disbelief and sure enough the V-shape was evident. Was that my sign? Was that the universe telling me to move on? Canada Geese are loyal by nature; devoted to their partners. They only mate with one, unless the other dies. I constantly looked for signs as to what to do, so I took this to be my sign. The honking prevailed and I knew with it came a satisfaction that I was making the right decision. I took the V-shape as a symbol of victory. It was time to move onward and the loyalty that the geese gave to one another, validated my reasoning not to be brought into this web of lies. I hoped that no one was looking as I honked out in unison with my feathered friends.
I showered and was soon on my way. I felt refreshed as I stepped onto the street. Oh that smell: fresh buns being baked, scents of perked coffee, the smell of fumes from buses revving up and clearing their pipes from the previous day. But most of all the sights and sounds of the people. I loved the movement; workers steadying coffee in hand as they reached down and retrieved the morning paper, the sound of children whimpering as they defied their mothers in an attempt to be dragged about with two feet skimming the surface. It never changed, children hated to get up, especially for school or daycare. And then there were our four-legged friends being rushed along for a hurried morning walk, no lingering to smell and then sensing that they would be abandoned until their masters returned home that night. And the next day it would start all over again. I wanted to inhale all of it.
I no sooner unlocked my office door when I heard footsteps approaching. “Hi Heather, how are you?”
“I am more than fine. You were right about approaching the mayor’s office. He gave me a wonderful letter of recommendation and with that a few new clients. I got on to many social media sights as well. Thank you for your input on that!”
“Great, I knew that you shouldn’t throw in the towel yet. That means you are staying?”
“Better still, I have your rent,” she answered. “I signed a contract with Bombardier to provide catering to different places around Montreal. With the new CSeries coming out, they are really busy and need someone available to cater their business meetings around the area. It is a great opportunity for me and they gave me a hefty retainer, very generous. I was able to buy a van in order to better transport my food, fridge and all.”
“Bombardier! That is wonderful. They are huge! Didn’t they make a private jet for Oprah and a few other movie stars?”
“Yes I think so. Adam this is perhaps the break that I needed and I owe it all to you.”
“You owe me nothing; you did the work. And besides, I did it for a selfish reason. You are a great tenant and I wanted you to stay.” She started to laugh and said that she was happy to see me again. She returned a few minutes later with a plate full of sandwiches. I accepted gratefully.
The office had that stale smell of unemptied trash cans and dirty coffee mugs. I immediately opened the windows to Montreal. Thank goodness that I did not have real flowers in my flower boxes for I am sure they would have died with neglect. Everyone laughed when I displayed my plastic roses, nothing to laugh at now. I could not believe my eyes when I looked down and perched on one of the boxes was one lonely Canada goose. Impossible I thought! It left the moment that I opened the window but although the port was nearby, I still believed that this was a continuation of the destiny in store for me. Mr. Goose was just reinforcing it with his brief appearance.
The next few weeks were busy. With the fall came many new cases. Affairs were prevalent over the summer and clients wanted no trace of their infidelity, not to be continued into the winter months. If it was me personally, I would dump the bastard or bitch. Cheat on me once and I would never go back. In many cases children were involved and families were suffering with those brief acts of lust... but for me, it was twenty or so new cases and I was reaping the benefits. Hypocritical to my beliefs, I condoned these flighty affairs when I let Lexus become part of my life. It was easy not to think about what she did for a living because all was behind closed doors. I did not have to face the fatherless child or the battered and emotionally abused wife as Lexus attended to the needs of their perpetrators. Actually I should be thanking Lexus for providing the ammunition that my cases were made of.
* * * *
It was the last week of October and I was just about to close up the office when I heard a knock at the door. Who the hell would be wanting to see me at this time of night? I figured it must be Heather with some news of a new client. I stopped in my tracks as I saw her. I started to feel that sickness in the pit of my stomach.
“Lexus, what are you doing here? You might be seen or something.” I could not get over her appearance. She had lost her glow.
I could not help but ask, “Are you sick? Come in!”
She sat down and started to cry. I hated shit like that but coming from her, it made it even more unsettling. I was confused with my emotions. I wanted to reach out but at the same time wanted her to disappear. Don’t come into my life again and disturb the tranquility that I have regained. Stay away. Please just go!
“What are you doing here? I thought that you made it very clear to me what your decision was. We have nothing more to say to one another. I’m sorry Lex!”
“Adam, I made a mistake. I should have listened to you! I was wrong!”
“I am on my way home so you had better explain yourself and in a hurry. I don’t want to go back there again. The case is over and you must understand that. I was an emotional wreck, I really mean it; I can’t go back.”
“That is not why I am here. Let me explain.”
“Okay then, it had better be fast.”
“It’s been over two months and you haven’t called. Why?”
“What? I was done with you. The last conversation that we had, was the day after the shooting. Gritty was in the hospital and you did not know what to do.”
“I didn’t; you are right!”
“Less than half an hour after we talked you called Marc. It would seem that you knew exactly what to do. When you called me, your mind was already made up.”
“I’m sorry Adam. I did it for Peter. He is the father of my child and I could not press charges. He is sick and needs help. Locking him up is not going to get him that help. I made a bad move and now I am paying for it.”
“Is he abusing you again? If so, I don’t want to hear about it. I tried to help you once before.”
“I did not press charges and Gritty was released into my care a week after the shooting. He was wonderful and so very apologetic. I melt when he speaks and he promised to get help, I believed him!”
“You took him home? And what about Peter? That must have been confusing for him. You were sending him mixed messages. He protected and stood up for you against that creep.”
“That is the worst part. In order for the case to be dropped, Peter was let off on his lack of proficiency in proper decision making. He was evaluated.”
“By who?”
“The courts removed him from my care and put him in a facility to be observed. It was the only way that the charges would be dropped. I had no choice.”
I wanted to be sick. I did not want to hear anymore of her nonsense. She had every choice. She was a terrible mother choosing Gritty over her own son. “It would seem Lexus that you made your choice a long time ago. Christ, this was your kid! You had to protect him. You guys were doing just fine until Gritty came in the picture again.”
“He was always in the picture. You know that he would come back and check in on Peter at least once a month, until the living in the box situation came up.”
“I’m curious. Have they done their evaluation and if so what did they come up with?”
“Peter suffers from a form of Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). That is why he is so silent. He lives in a make believe world. It is an emotional defense strategy.”
“I am very familiar with DID. It is a tool used to protect yourself. Many abused children use it when they can’t escape their perpetrator. They physically are present but they emotionally escape to another place. They can at times seem completely normal. I had a very mild form of this while growing up. It was the only way that I dealt with my mother and her emotional abuse towards me. That would explain why Peter talks about a skiing accident that never was. It is only in his mind, but very real to him.”
“What in the hell happened to make him like that. Something definitely happened.”
“He was abused as a small child.”
“Fuck, by who?”
“He tried to tell me at the time but I refused to listen. I took him to live with me. That was the way I dealt with the problem.”
“It was Gritty, wasn’t it?”
“I never believed it to be true. I thought that Peter was lying because Bobby was perfectly okay. I questioned him and he said none of Peter’s accusations were true.”
“He was your son; Bobby wasn’t. Why the hell did you not believe him? Gritty saw a weakness in Peter, and not in Bobby. Peter was an easy target. I can’t believe that you let this happen. Where is Peter now?”
“They put him in a mental care facility. He started to come home on the weekends but that is when things got really crazy, two weeks ago.”
“How?”
“Gritty is not allowed there when Peter visits. Nothing is proven yet, only Peter’s word but until it goes to court, Gritty must stay somewhere else. I assumed he went back to rue Dalcourt. I enjoy my alone time with Peter. It is my responsibility, although late to be the mother that I wasn’t when he was growing up.
“When Monday mornings came, Gritty, I thought would return until the next weekend. We are still waiting for a court date. But two weeks ago, things were different.”
“What happened?”
“Gritty never returned. There is no trace of him anywhere, not even on Dalcourt.”
* * * *
“What do you mean he never returned?” asked Richard with disbelief.
“That’s what she said. Lexus has the feeling that with the impending court hearing he got spooked and left. He knows he is guilty and does not want to serve prison time.”
“Where do we stand now? Maybe I reacted too fast when I left Invor. You told me the case was over so it was needless for me to stick around. Maybe there is a whole lot of shit that we don’t know about. Thank god that I still kept it fair with Jessica. I always like to keep doors open. She thinks that I found something better, job wise. I keep putting her off but I know that she still has hopes for us.”
“Invor is out of the question right now. I would like to talk with Mr. Forth. He did have a history with Gritty. He might know something.”
“Are you saying the case is still on?”
“No, I am only trying to help Lexus… for old time sake, so to speak. I want to solve this and be done with them all, her included. But for now I feel that I can’t leave her hanging like this. Richard is there any way that you can make an appointment with Jessica for me to meet with Forth?”
“Anything is possible. I’ll give her a call. And don’t bullshit me; you know that you still care about Lexus.”
“No I don’t but I realize that it is the only possibility. Lexus deserves answers. I don’t always agree with her but I care deeply and want her to have a good life. I don’t know if we will ever be the same or have a future but that is not my concern now. We have to find Gritty, if for nothing else but for her and her son. I would not feel human if I left it like this, not with our history. We were close and life got in the way but there is still some connection.”
“Adam, I do understand. I will see to it that you get a meeting with Forth. He might know something. I’m tired. Let’s get some rest and tomorrow things might seem clearer. Remember I am taking the early morning flight to Toronto. The Sunlight realizes my value but I hope they don’t try to promote me. This is just a temporary job … one that can’t be over soon enough.” We turned out the lights but my head was spinning.
For the next couple of days I concentrated on closing some accounts. I missed Richard but thank goodness for Skype. We were able to talk at night.
* * * *
I’ll never forget that call from Marc or the news that I received. They had dragged the
Lachine Canal and found a body close to shore. I had the feeling it might be him. He was missing and no other body had been reported.
Marc asked me if I wanted to meet him at the crime scene and I did not hesitate to go. Once there I noticed certain things linking him to Gritty, like the cleft hand. Even though there was not much flesh left on the body the bone structure was evident. The forensic team was waiting for us to finish in order to remove him, and make a definite identification. I had been to many crime scenes but this one was personal. I, as crazy at it seemed liked Gritty. He had become part of my life.
I knew now without a doubt that I would take on this case again. I had to know what happened, not just for Lexus but for me too.
I met him in a box and it looked like he would be going back in a box. It was a very sad way to end a life, whether deserving or not of it. I couldn’t wait to say my goodbyes to Marc. I sat in my car and let the tears flow. This has got to stop! I have to find my inner male. That cold-hearted no emotions type of man.
I finished my cry and headed out to the airport to pick up Richard.