TOP SECRET! If you don’t answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.
1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.
2. And hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.
3. Sometimes I carry a clipboard. There are times when I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook.
4. The two things I hate most: Loud dogs and nosy neighbors.
5. I’ll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he’ll stop what he’s doing and wait to hear it again. If he doesn’t hear it again, he’ll just go back to what he was doing. It’s human nature.
6. Your alarm only works if it’s on. I’m not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it?
7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And the windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom—and your jewelry. It’s not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there, too.
8. Don’t let me see your security system. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don’t let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see if it’s set. That makes it too easy.
9. I love looking in your windows. I’m looking for signs that you’re home and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I’d like. I’ll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.
TOP SECRET! If you don’t answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.
10. Lock your windows. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it’s an invitation.
11. I always knock first. If you answer, I’ll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don’t take me up on it.)
12. Do you really think I won’t look in your sock drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.
13. You’re right: I won’t have enough time to break into that safe. . . . The one where you keep your valuables. But if it’s not bolted down, I’ll take it with me.
SOURCES: Convicted burglars in North Carolina, Oregon, California, and Kentucky; security consultant Chris McGoey, who runs crimedoctor.com; and Richard T. Wright, a criminology professor at the University of Missouri–St. Louis, who interviewed 105 burglars for his book Burglars on the Job.