Personal information.
You’re identity isn’t as safe as you’d think.
1. Boarding pass. Bragging about your upcoming trip online might seem harmless, but snapping a photo of your boarding pass is a definite don’t. Sure, your followers already know your name—and they might even know your destination—but according to Brian Krebs, author and founder of Krebsonsecurity.com, which specializes in investigative stories on cyber crime and computer security, other personal data is at risk. Your frequent flyer card and passenger name record (PNR) could be jeopardized with a social post. With a little finagling, hackers can access your earned miles, phone number, date of birth, and even passport data. Based on your booking number, criminals can also find out when you leave and return. Knowing that no one is home could entice burglars to break in while you’re away.
2. Money. Posting photos of paychecks, credit cards, and wads of cash is just asking for trouble. Aside from being in poor taste, doing so increases the chances of you getting mugged. Also steer clear of photos (or captions) that give away financial information, such as the name of your bank.
3. Winning lotto tickets. If you’re lucky enough to snag a winning lottery ticket, be smart enough not to brag. Sharing betting slips isn’t a huge liability for small amounts, but, if they want to put in the effort, criminals can replicate the scannable bar code and steal your winnings.
4. Confidential work e-mails. It’s a good rule of thumb to keep work off your social media, especially when it comes to confidential documents. While the National Labor Relations Act protect employees by allowing them to exercise your First Amendment rights and engage in speaking freely and truthfully about the workplace (even when their feedback is negative) there are limitations. If your company sent an exciting e-mail about a new development or branding idea, the last thing you want to do is let the competition know. Airing complaints—or posting photos of “venting” conversations between you and coworkers—isn’t smart either. In fact, it’s a sure way to get sacked.
5. Birth certificate. Posting identifying information on social media is equivalent to losing it—or giving it away. While snapshot of the birth certificate of your new bouncing baby might seem like a heart-warming announcement about a major life change, it can put your little one at risk for identity theft. According to the Identity Theft Resource Center, allowing this government document to fall into the hands of a stranger could do permanent damage. A birth certificate is considered the “bedrock identifying document” and can get you a new Social Security card, passport, and driver’s license. Once someone has control of it, proactively preventing fraud is near impossible.
6. Work that isn’t copyrighted. You might be proud of your writing, but posting a snap of the poem or short story you’ve written before publishing isn’t the best idea—especially if you’re looking to submit to a journal or enter a competition. Someone stealing your award-winning line might lead to a case of he-said, she-said when it comes to who originally created the work. Even if your writing only has sentimental value—and isn’t exactly Pulitzer worthy—posting it online makes it easy for people to copy, paste, and claim. Keep your wise words to yourself until they’ve been copyrighted and then have your fans buy the book instead.
Your children.
What’s so risky about posting smiling, finger-painting photos of your kids on social media? Surprisingly, a lot. Here’s what not to post to keep your kids safe.
1. Your location. It might just be a picture of your child saying “cheese” in front of your home, but posting photos of your private property can make privileged information public. Street signs, house numbers, and apartment addresses might seem like harmless background scenery, but once you post that picture, it could get around, making your child vulnerable to identity theft, digital kidnapping, where strangers lift the images and pretend the children are their own, or even actual kidnapping.
2. Personal identifiers. Your kid is holding up a hand-written sign on her birthday that says “I’m 6 today” in adorable letters. No big deal, right? Actually, giving away information such as your child’s birth date or place of birth and full name isn’t ideal, as those identifiers are used to reference many private accounts. You might think that a well-taken passport photo really capture your kiddo’s smile and baby curls, or be so filled with exuberance that your new driver passed the road test that you snap a congratulatory photo of his or her license. Before you post to social, take a step back and think of the information you’re giving away.
3. Any state of undress. Babies splashing around during bath time are definitely adorable, but posting photos of your children in any state of undress—even a teeny bikini—isn’t smart. As sad as it is to imagine, these photos could fall into the wrong hands and be accessible to online predators. “Think of your kids as autonomous people who are entitled to protection not only from physical harm but intangible harm as well,” says Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida Levin College of Law in Gainesville, Florida, and associate director for the Center on Children and Families. Definitely avoid posting photos of other people’s kids without their permission.
4. Vulnerability and embarrassing moments. Posting a photo of your sick child might garner comments and compassion on social media, but consider how it could affect your child. What you consider a moment to cherish—and post—might be embarrassing to them. The next time your kid’s in bed with a runny nose, being brave while getting a shot at the doctor’s office, or sitting in a hospital gown, consider this question before you snap: “Would your child want to see this photo of themselves online in the future?” Same goes for “milestones” like using the potty for the first time, getting her period, or having a first kiss. Keep moments that might make your child blush from embarrassment offline and in the family scrapbook.
5. Behavior struggles. Social media isn’t for child shaming. Whether it’s an issue of wetting the bed or trouble learning to read, taking a photo and captioning it in a way that highlights your child’s difficulties can be problematic. Exposing their weakness could open the door to teasing and bullying—and introduce labels that could stick. “It’s important we invite older children into the conversation of what should or shouldn’t be shared,” Steinberg says. “We should ask them if something might be embarrassing.”
6. Poor grades. Shaming your child online by posting that report card “F” is not smart. While it’s understandable to reach out and ask for help, social media is not the place to do it. Not only will you be crowdsourcing advice—much of which might not be sound and is better reserved for a parent-teacher conference—but it could potentially come back to hurt your child. According to the online recruitment site Career Builder, roughly a fifth of employers use social networking sites to research job candidates. More importantly, nearly 59 percent say they would be influenced by a candidate’s online presence. Don’t start your child off in the red.
Yourself.
But it’s your page, right? Wrong. The Internet is ultimately an open tundra and your page is a platform for you to be judged, examined, and criticized. Always tread lightly.
1. Gifts you’ve received, but didn’t like. Whether it’s your birthday or a holiday, it’s important to exercise gratitude instead of rolling your eyes or complaining when you don’t like your present. Even if you had hoped your partner would have bought you something different or you’re annoyed your mom knitted you yet another sweater you’ll never wear, it’s better to keep it offline and remember the value of family instead of the value of what was under the tree. “Do not post petty comments about gifts you didn’t like or who was cheap in your family,” says author and family and couple therapist, Deb Castaldo, PhD. “Those types of comments, even if you don’t name names, can be very hurtful and provide the fuel for more family conflicts.”
2. Bragging. While it might have been cool to compare notes about your latest Barbie Dreamhouse or rad bicycle you got when you were a kid, as an adult, sharing your extravagance and thus, privilege, with the world isn’t flattering. In fact, it could make you appear to be selfish and ungrateful for the blessings you’ve been bestowed or the luxuries you can afford to give to your family. “It can be fun to talk about what you’re going to buy your kids, partner or friends, especially when it’s extravagant, but remember others are not as fortunate as you and it can be a reminder of the overdue mortgage, living paycheck to paycheck, and what won’t be under the tree this year. Be grateful and enjoy what you have, yet be sensitive to others lack of,” says Sarah Mandel, RN, LCSW. Another reason to keep those gifts off online? You run the risk of grabbing the attention of criminals, Mandel adds. “Tweeting or posting photos of your extravagant gifts can be an invitation for robbery. This is the time of year when crime is up and thieves look for that new 55-inch flat screen TV or new loaded laptop to steal,” she says.
3. Drama within your family. All families have secrets and you’re bound to not like every single person you’re related to. But if you want to bash your cousin or reveal some drama about an estranged great aunt, you might only create a giant elephant that’ll be felt across the dinner table. “Social media is not a place to resolve family conflict. In fact, social media could create more conflict or hurt feelings. It may create a divide among other family members or friends who know your family members. It may also ruin an enjoyable family event since a majority of your other family is also on social media. Even if you make a message private, remember that others could see it if a mutual friend is tagged in the post or if a mutual friend shows someone else your post,” Geter says.
4. Your political viewpoints during the holidays. Regardless of who you voted for, try to let political viewpoints and discussions pause during the holiday season. As it’s a time to celebrate, focus on your families and being of service to those in need, instead. “The holidays can be a time of peace for all, to bring our country together in celebration, and create a celebration toward our futures,” says Dawn Michael. “So if you are wanting to continue the negative feeling about the election, take a break and keep the holiday spirit positive and joyful,” she advises.
5. Anything that puts down other religions. With constant religious celebrations around the world, it might be tough to keep up with which of your friends celebrates which special day. And vice versa: those you might not know so well could wish you the wrong “happy” or “merry,” but this isn’t the time to dismiss their likely well-intentioned gesture. “Don’t get offended if someone wishes you a ‘Happy Hanukkah’ and you keep ‘Christ in Christmas,’ ” Mandel says. “The bottom line is that these are all well wishes with good intentions unless someone tries to proselytize and pressure you into believing their religious beliefs. It can be difficult to keep up with the many holidays we celebrate in this country but don’t let the pressure of being PC keep you from enjoying your traditions.”
6. Anything you wouldn’t want your boss to see. Even if you keep your profiles on strict lockdown and have privacy settings, friends-of-friends could still see and possibly say something to your employer. Learning to censor yourself when you’ve had a few too many evening cocktails or want to declare why you deserve a better job is a smart move. “We have become so comfortable with the internet that we often forget that the whole world has access to our posts. And yes, photos can be copied before you know what hit you,” Dr. Castaldo says. “You may want to be a viral social media superstar, but do you really want to end up there because your photo was captured while you were in a drunken stupor?”
7. A bunch of selfies. What’s way more attractive than filtering away that zit on your chin from one-too-many peanut butter cookies or posing with your hand on your hip in front of your tree? Taking a photo with those you love the most and capturing the magic, love in the air between your family. Dr. Castaldo says we should focus on sharing more group shots in general, but especially in a time when gathering together is celebrated and made a priority. “Although many people are now addicted to posting their best staged selfies and photos of perfect meals and home decor, relieve yourself of the pressure of keeping up. How about switching it up and posting what really matters: a group shot of you and your loved ones enjoying each other’s company,” she says.
8. Always being online. Less than a decade ago, having your phone handy while sitting at the dinner table would have seemed the height of rudeness. As much as you can, stay focused on the moment so you can truly experience time with cherished company. “Yes it is fun to share the excitement of social gatherings on social media. So go ahead and post your fun times and meals. But keep it to a minimum and just remember your social media posts are now part of your permanent personal and professional ‘resume’ and a snapshot into you values, morals, and relationships,” Dr. Castaldo says. She suggests an experiment: Put your device away at your next shindig and see what fun you can have connecting in real time with your loved ones!
Your relationship.
A relationship is between two people for a reason. Not for your 1,000 Facebook friends or 600 Instagram followers.
1. A fight with your significant other. OK, OK, so your husband had one job and one job only—to pick up the dry cleaning—and he forgot, and now you’re scrambling to find another alternative before your event. As tempting as it is to update your status with a snide meme about husbands or a sarcastic post that degrades men, Courtney Geter, marriage, sex and family therapist, says to take a deep breath and refrain for the sake of both your relationship and your community. “Oftentimes, we go to social media to get support from our friends or family. However, the fight you had with your significant other was not witnessed by anyone else. When you reach out, your friends are going to be biased toward you and want to support you. Although their intentions are to help you and make things better, it could create more tension in your relationship. Also, if your friends are mutual friends with your significant other, they may feel divided in wanting to support you but not ruin a relationship with your SO,” she says.
2. Your breakup. Spare everyone the gory details, which are more than likely to be TMI or sour grapes. If you and your partner break up, the emotional mess is enough to clean up without having to field comments and advice from the online peanut gallery. “Keep it simple. If it’s over, it’s over,” Spira says. “Posting about how you got dumped shouldn’t be public knowledge. Just change your relationship status to ‘Single’ when and if you call it quits to signal that you’re on the market again. Keep the vicious details to yourself.”
3. Scandalous pics of your partner. Sexting can be a fun way to entice your partner when they’ve been stressed out at work or you’ve both been too busy for intimacy, but those images are never meant to go beyond your shared blue bubbles. As psychotherapist and relationship expert, Sarah Mandel, RN, LCSW notes, there’s a lot of trust built between couples who share racy photos, and breaking that is dangerous for the longevity of your relationship. Not to mention that your friends would likely want you to keep it to yourself. “Your partner may be hot, but that doesn’t give you the permission to post private pics of him or her for the world to see,” Mandel says. “Keep this part of your relationship between the two of you and in the bedroom.”
4. Photos of others without checking first. While it’s definitely the age of sharing each and every little thing that we do, from selfies in bed with coffee to what you ate for brunch, the only person you truly have permission to share a photo of is yourself. More often than not, your family members and hometown friends won’t mind if you share a (ahem, flattering) photo of them, it’s always a good idea to check first. “Just like some parents prefer not to post pictures of their children online or prefer to monitor which photos are posted online, some adults also don’t want their lives made public,” Geter says. “Although you might want to share the memories of your family event with others, check first with others in the photo before tagging them or even posting the picture. If someone knows the picture will be posted online and made public, they may choose to opt out and take a private photo with you later.”
5. Your ultrasound. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the creative, new way you’ll announce your pregnancy on Facebook. While OB-GYNs often suggest waiting until your second trimester to share the happy news with friends and relatives because your risk of miscarriage is lower, updating your social media accounts with an ultrasound might be taking your photo albums too far. The blurry, almost-alien like photo might be the cutest, most amazing image you’ve ever seen, but your followers might find it awkward. “It’s great that you’re announcing you’re pregnant, but do you have to post a photo of your unborn baby on social media? It violates my ‘Rules of Netiquette’ as something that makes some people uncomfortable,” says Julia Spira, cyber dating expert and author of The Rules of Netiquette: How to Mind Your Digital Manners. “While many will toast to your new relationship status, we don’t need to see every detail of your doctor’s appointments.”