Sometimes, you’d really rather not keep your job. Please Fire Me, by Jill Morris and Adam Chromy, collects dozens of hilarious vents from anonymous clock punchers forced to put up with various forms of crazy nine-to-five. Some doozies:
Last week a coworker asked me, “What day is Black History Month?”
Our HR girl overheard me describing the plot of The Road to a coworker, you know, the book about survivors of nuclear Armageddon who are being chased across a deserted America by anarchist cannibals. She asked, “Was that based on a true story?”
I just caught my old boss copying down my goals from last year’s review and noting them as his own for this year.
My team leader took a digital picture of everyone’s face and pasted it to an animal cutout. Now each employee is a different animal on the “productivity” board. Whoever does the most work each week gets one step closer to the piece of meat that person’s animal likes to eat, which is glued to the other end of the poster. I’m the bison.