Sometimes work can be tough and we react by getting stressed out. We don’t always have control over what happens to us, says Allen Elkin, PhD, director of the Stress Management Counseling Center in New York City. Yet that doesn’t mean we have to react to a difficult, challenging situation by becoming frazzled or feeling overwhelmed or distraught. Instead, use these easy, natural methods to overcoming anxiety when it hits.
Mental Relaxation Techniques
Visualize calm. It sounds New Age-y, but at least one study, done at the Cleveland Clinic Foundation, has found that it’s highly effective in reducing stress. Dr. Cooper recommends imagining you’re in a hot shower and a wave of relaxation is washing your stress down the drain. Or try this routine, recommended by Gerald Epstein, MD, the author of Healing Visualizations: Close your eyes, take three long, slow breaths, and spend a few seconds picturing a relaxing scene, such as walking in a meadow, kneeling by a brook, or lying on the beach. Focus on the details—the sights, the sounds, the smells.
Do some math. Using a scale of one to ten, with one being the equivalent of a minor hassle and ten being a true catastrophe, assign a number to whatever it is that’s making you feel anxious. “You’ll find that most problems we encounter rate somewhere in the two to five range—in other words, they’re really not such a big deal,” says Dr. Elkin.
Be a fighter. “At the first sign of stress, you often hear people complain, ‘What did I do to deserve this?’ ” says Dr. Cooper. The trouble is, feeling like a victim only increases feelings of stress and helplessness. Instead, focus on being proactive. If your flight gets canceled, don’t wallow in self-pity. Find another one. If your office is too hot or too cold, don’t suffer in silence. Call the building manager and ask what can be done to make things more comfortable.
Put it on paper. Writing provides perspective, says Paul J. Rosch, MD, president of the American Institute of Stress in Yonkers, New York. Divide a piece of paper into two parts. On the left side, list the stressors you may be able to change, and on the right, list the ones you can’t. “Change what you can,” Dr. Rosch suggests, “and stop fretting over what you can’t.”
Count to ten. Before you say or do something you’ll regret, step away from the stressor and collect yourself, advises Dr. Cooper. You can also look away for a moment or put the caller on hold. Use your time-out to take a few deep breaths, stretch, or recite an affirmation.
Just say no. Trying to do everything is a one-way ticket to serious stress. Be clear about your limits, and stop trying to please everyone all the time.
Admit it. Each of us has uniquely individual stress signals—neck or shoulder pain, shallow breathing, stammering, teeth gritting, queasiness, loss of temper. Learn to identify yours, then say out loud, “I’m feeling stressed,” when they crop up, recommends Dr. Rosch. Recognizing your personal stress signals helps slow the buildup of negativity and anxiety.
Schedule worry time. Some stressors demand immediate attention—a smoke alarm siren or a police car’s whirling blue light. But many low-grade stressors can be dealt with at a later time, when it’s more convenient. “File them away in a little mental compartment, or make a note,” Dr. Elkin says, “then deal with them when the time is right. Don’t let them control you.”
Time-Outs That Help You Focus Later
Space out. Look out the window and find something natural that captures your imagination, advises Dr. Sobel. Notice the clouds rolling by or the wind in the trees.
Take a walk. It forces you to breathe more deeply and improves circulation, says Dr. Cooper. Step outside if you can; if that’s not possible, you can gain many of the same benefits simply by walking to the bathroom or water cooler, or by pacing back and forth. “The key is to get up and move,” Dr. Cooper says.
Soak it up. “When I have the time, nothing is more stress relieving for me than a hot bath,” Dr. Weston says. “But when I don’t have time, I do the next-best thing: I wash my face or even just my hands and arms with hot water. The key is to imagine that I’m taking a hot bath. It’s basically a visualization exercise, but the hot water makes it feel real.”
Dial a friend. Sharing your troubles can give you perspective, help you feel cared for, and relieve your burden.
Make plans. “Looking forward to something provides calming perspective,” Dr. Elkin says. Buy concert tickets, schedule a weekend getaway, or make an appointment for a massage.
Goof off. It temporarily removes you from a potentially stressful situations. Esther Orioli, president of Essi Systems—a San Francisco–based consulting company that organizes stress-management programs—keeps a harmonica in the drawer for when she’s feeling stressed out. Bonus: Playing it promotes deep breathing.