That night, Ferris Paulson threw a party. Ferris was on the hockey team with Kierce. He was kind of a jackass, but his parents were out of town and it was going to be a big party, so I wasn’t about to miss it.
We picked up the beer Jay had scored for us and hidden at the Spot. Before heading to the party, we each downed one, and then cracked a road rocket. I hated the taste of beer, especially when it had been sitting outside in the heat all day, so I usually drank it in quick gulps to avoid the taste. By the time we got to the party, I was already kind of buzzed.
Ferris met us at the front door. “Come on in, boys!” he said, ushering us into the house. In the kitchen, a couple of girls were trying to point a speaker out the window so the music would blast into the backyard. Kierce beelined to them and started flirting, and I followed Jay out onto the deck so he could join the smokers. He lit a smoke, and we stood at the railing looking down at the crowd that had gathered around a bonfire in the backyard.
“Don’t look now, Dan,” said Jay, “but you’ve got an admirer.”
He pointed, and I saw Michelle Donaldson waving up at me from the edge of the crowd.
“Oh shit,” I muttered, giving her a halfhearted wave.
A year earlier, thanks to Kierce, who’d practically thrown me at her, Michelle and I had hooked up at a lame teen dance at the community center. Michelle was a year ahead of us in school and totally into me. It was horrible. We’d slow danced for a while, and then she’d practically dragged me into the woods to make out. It had been really awkward, but at least I’d finally made out with a girl.
I’d hoped things would end there, but I wasn’t so lucky. For a few weeks, she did everything she could to get me alone, and we messed around a few more times. By messed around, I mean strictly above the neck; I wasn’t going anywhere lower than her collar, and every time her hands had drifted toward my belt, I bolted like the Road Runner, leaving a little cloud of dust in my wake. Eventually, I’d just stopped returning her calls.
“What the hell, man?” Kierce had said. “You could’ve at least nailed her first!”
“Kierce, I’m not going to go out with somebody just to get laid.”
He looked shocked. “Why the hell else would you go out with somebody?” Typical Kierce. He had a hard time accepting that his rules didn’t apply to everyone.
Besides, I couldn’t tell him that the only reason I had messed around with Michelle was because I felt like I was supposed to. After a while, Kierce had dropped it, but not before I heard a lot of rules about birds in hands and bushes, and striking with hot irons.
“Let’s go down and check out the fire,” said Jay, finishing his smoke and dropping the butt into an empty beer bottle.
“Do we have to?” I asked.
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t wanna do, my man,” he said, slapping me on the back. “Maybe you should go see if Wheel of Fortune is on the tube.”
“Fine,” I said, “let’s go.”
Reluctantly, I followed him down to the backyard, where I opened another beer. I was starting to feel pretty good when all of sudden somebody tugged at my elbow from behind.
“Hey, you!” From the way Michelle was swaying, I could tell that she was even drunker than I was.
“Oh, hey, Michelle…”
She reached up and gave me a big hug, which she held a bit longer than necessary. Behind her back, Jay winked at me and then took off into the crowd, laughing.
“Yeah…hey, Michelle!” I repeated. “Congratulations on graduating. You still going to Toronto for university?”
“Yep.”
Looking up at me with her goofy sideways grin, big sparkly eyes and rosy cheeks, she reminded me of one of Alma’s old Cabbage Patch dolls. She held out her bottle of fruity wine and I took a swig, wishing for the millionth time that I could get away with drinking delicious girl booze instead of shitty warm beer.
“So, hey, great party, huh?” I said.
“Ummm…Danny, can I talk to you in private for a minute?”
“Uh, sure.”
She grabbed me by the hand, and before I knew what was happening, she was pulling me toward a shed in the shadows at the back of the yard. Just before she dragged me behind it, I looked helplessly back at the crowd and saw Kierce grinning like a maniac and holding up three fingers. Rule Three: the Golden Rule. I wondered if he’d had anything to do with this. My back was up against the shed, and Michelle was standing uncomfortably close to me, still smiling her goofy smile. She smelled like booze and strawberries.
“I miss you, Danny.”
I laughed awkwardly and downed the rest of my beer, then reached into my backpack to grab another one. “Hey, you want a beer?” I asked.
“No, I’m good.” She held up her wine bottle. “Did you hear what I said?”
“Yeah, of course. I miss you too, Michelle…” I trailed off. What the hell was I supposed to say?
“Really?”
“Uh, sure.”
“Because I’m moving away in a couple of months, and I’ve been thinking about—you know—unfinished business. Anyway, I know you’re kind of shy, but maybe we just got off on the wrong foot.”
She moved closer, wrapping her arms around my waist. Then she closed her eyes and stood on her toes, reaching up to kiss me. Instinctively, I reached out to hold her back, forgetting I had a beer in my hands. She squealed and jumped away as warm beer spilled onto her hair and down the back of her shirt.
“Shit, I’m so sorry!” I said.
“Oh my god! Did you do that on purpose?”
“Of course not!”
“What the hell, Danny? I can’t believe you’d pour a drink over me to avoid messing around!”
I didn’t know what to say, so I just stood there, my beer slowly sudsing over the top of the bottle.
“You know what, Danny? Maybe it’s true what people say about you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well, it’s not like there are all kinds of girls throwing themselves at you. It’s just kind of weird that you don’t seem interested.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Forget it. Have a great summer, asshole!” She gave me a dirty look before heading back to the party. I wondered if I should follow her, but I was kind of reeling from what she’d said. What exactly did “what people say about you” mean? Suddenly Jay appeared around the corner of the shed.
“There you are. What the hell are you doing?” he asked.
“Oh, you know, just hangin’ out behind the woodshed.”
“You coming back to the party? Ferris just threw his folks’ picnic table into the fire. He’s pretty loaded.”
“I know the feeling. I’ll be out in a minute.”
He pulled out a cigarette and lit up. “You okay?”
“Yep. Yepperoo.”
He raised an eyebrow at me, but thankfully, he didn’t pry. Above the noise of the party came the sound of angry yelling. Jay looked back around the corner of the shed. “Fight,” he said. “Wanna go watch?”
“Hang on,” I said. “I gotta lake a teak. Take a leak.” I stood up, swaying.
“Shit, Danny, how much have you had to drink?”
“Oh, you know, four or five beers.”
“We’ve only been here an hour!”
“I’ve still got a couple left.”
“Well, slow down, or you’ll end up puking.”
“Yeah, yeah. Gimme a sec.”
I took care of business, and we walked back over to the crowd that had gathered around what was now a full-fledged brawl. Ferris and some other goons were throwing haymakers at some guys I didn’t recognize. Probably a hockey team from the next town over.
“This is awesome!” I said, and then yelled to nobody in particular, “GET THEM!”
Jay looked at me funny, and then Maisie Thomas ran up and poked Jay in the chest. “Guys are all the same. Fight, drink, screw. Soooo stupid!” She stopped and looked at me. “Oh hey, Danny. I wasn’t talking about you. You’re nice.”
“Uh, thanks,” I said. Maisie was in our class, but I didn’t really know her very well.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” asked Jay, laughing. “I’m nice too, aren’t I?”
“Yeah, I guess,” she said, “but you smoke cigarettes. I guess you think that makes you a badass or something.”
“Nope,” said Jay, flashing a big grin at her. “I just think it makes me look really sexy and cool.”
“Whatever, Jay,” she said, rolling her eyes but giggling at him anyway. She stumbled off into the crowd.
The fight wound down as quickly as it had begun, and I saw Ferris and one of the guys he’d just been fighting with give each other a man hug. The other guy asked Ferris, “Can I make some toast, dude?”
The excitement was over, and people got back to dancing around the fire. Kierce worked his way out of the crowd and over to us.
“Kierce!” I yelled. I raised my beer to greet him, but he wasn’t smiling.
“Way to go, man,” he said. “I just talked to Michelle. She basically told me that she wanted to get busy with you behind the shed, and you poured beer over her head and told her she was ugly!”
“That’s not what happened!”
“Well, whatever happened, it sounds like you probably could have gotten laid, no strings attached, and you decided to run away, squealing like a little queer.”
“Hey!” said Jay. “Take it easy, man!”
“You know what, Kierce?” I said, “It’s none of your goddamn business. Besides, I don’t remember you getting lucky recently.”
“Yeah, well, the difference is, I try. I hate to break it to you, buddy, but people say shit about you, and I’m getting kind of sick of defending your ass. Rule Thirty-five: Turn down enough girls and people are going to stop suspecting that you’re a fag and start assuming that you’re a fag.”
I glared at him for a moment, my mind spinning. There was nothing to say, so I turned and walked away from him, away from the party. Away from everything.