The next morning, my mom knocked on my door to tell me Kierce was on the phone.
“Oh my god, Danny,” he said, practically squealing. “She called me! Lisa called me! She asked if I want to do something with her after she gets off work today! Is that a date? I think that’s a date!”
“Wow. Great.” Just great.
“Man oh man, Dan the man, I owe you big-time. This is so awesome!”
Awesome. Right. I knew it was stupid, but I was jealous.
“So listen, man. Is this going to bother you? Did you like her or something?”
What could I say? Actually, Kierce, you were right, I’m totally queer. I have no interest in screwing Lisa, but I’d prefer you didn’t either, because I saw her first. So back off, or I’ll bitch slap you.
“It’s cool, man,” I forced myself to say. “I’m not interested. Have at it.”
“Awesome, D-man! I’ll give you a call tomorrow and fill you in on the details!”
As far as I was concerned, he could keep his details to himself.
That night we had a busy shift, but during a brief lull, Lisa sidled up to me and gave me a hip bump.
“Hey, sexy. Thanks for the good time last night.”
“Huh? Oh yeah, sure, no problem.”
“Your friends are cool. And the Spot is so great! I want to go back again soon. Maybe we can sneak a bottle of wine from out front. I’ll pay for it out of my tips.”
“Yeah, sounds good.” I kept my head down, concentrating intently on the cheese I was grating.
“So I called Kierce,” she said.
“Yeah, I heard.” I turned away to grab a bowl from the shelf. “He called me this morning. That’s cool.”
When I turned back, she was looking at me with her head tilted sideways as if she was trying to figure something out. Before she could say anything, JP called out her order, and she took off to the dining room.
After we closed for the night, I was cleaning up my workstation and she came back to see me again. “So Kierce and I kind of have plans tonight.”
“Yeah, no sweat. I’ll ask Maisie or Denise to give me a ride home.”
“Don’t be crazy. I’ll totally still drive you. I just won’t be able to hang out for long.”
I shrugged. “If you really don’t mind.”
“Of course I don’t mind. You know I love hanging out with you after work.”
Before driving me home, she drove down the hill to the beach parking lot to have a smoke. I didn’t say much, just stared out the car window at the lighthouse in the distance.
“What’s bothering you, big guy?” she finally said.
“Nothing.”
“C’mon, D. I’m not stupid. You’ve been ignoring me all day, and now you’re acting like the saddest little boy on earth.”
“Okay, fine. I just don’t understand this thing with Kierce. It just came out of nowhere. What the hell do you see in him anyway?”
She pulled back and looked at me with surprise. “Okay, hold on a minute. What do you mean, what do I see in him? I thought he was one of your best friends.”
“He is,” I said. “But it’s not like you guys have anything in common.” Not like you and me.
“It’s not as if I’m interested in him,” she said. “It’s not like it’s some big thing, or whatever. I told you last night, I just think he’s cool and funny and cute.”
“Cute, great.”
She turned her head and blew smoke out of the window. “Yeah, cute. I hate to break it to you, Danny, but you’re not the only cute guy in Deep Cove. Don’t tell me you’re jealous.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It doesn’t mean anything! I just wondered—shit, I don’t know—I kind of thought maybe you weren’t interested, you know, in girls.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry, I just—it felt like—I don’t know. I didn’t think anything was going to happen between us. But then that night on the hill, I really thought maybe you were going to try to kiss me, and then you didn’t, and it got me thinking that you might be gay…”
I stared at her with no idea what to say. My brain scrambled, trying to find the right words. She made it sound so normal, like being gay was just an everyday thing. I felt my heart drop into my stomach, and I had a powerful urge to tell her everything. My brain immediately fought against it, screaming, No! Tell her she’s wrong! Nobody can know! My brain won.
“Well, you were wrong,” I said. I knew I sounded cold and mean, but I didn’t care. “Maybe some guys don’t think you’re very hot. I know I don’t. Maybe that’s hard for you to believe.”
She flinched as if I’d slapped her. “Of course it isn’t,” she said. “I don’t think I’m perfect or anything. I don’t understand. I didn’t think you’d care about the Kierce thing, I just thought it might be fun…”
“You know what?” I said. “Fuck you, Lisa. I’m not some stupid faggot you can just toy around with, okay?”
Neither of us said anything for a moment. She just sat there staring at me with her mouth hanging open. I got out of the car, slammed the door behind me and ran into the shadows of the sand dunes as fast as I could, dropping to hide behind some tall grass. I heard her car door open. Then she was yelling.
“Danny! Come on! I’m sorry! Really!”
I didn’t move. I didn’t want her to drive me home, and I didn’t want her pity. Most of all, I wanted to be alone. I didn’t know why I’d exploded at her. I felt like I was losing my mind.
I was happy that she didn’t try to find me. I felt stupid enough already without being chased through the dunes. Finally, after about ten minutes, I heard her get back into her car and drive away. I backtracked through the dunes to the parking lot, walked up to the road and made my way home. It took me over an hour, and when I finally got there, the lights were out and everyone was asleep.
THE NEXT MORNING, I woke up in a foul, depressed mood. I couldn’t believe that Lisa, of all people, was now on the Danny must be gay bandwagon. At the same time, I felt like a complete idiot for freaking out at her. I’d been pretty nasty. I doubted she’d ever want to talk to me again. She’d probably tell Kierce everything, and I’d be a laughing stock.
I was lying on the couch wondering if I should just bite the bullet, put together a hobo sack and run away from home, when Alma came in and flopped into the chair next to me.
“Danny, why don’t you have a girlfriend?”
What the hell? Had someone formed a committee to harass me? I sat up and looked at her. “Where did that come from?”
“I dunno, I was just wondering if you were sweet on anyone. You know, like Warren Beatty and Natalie Wood in Splendor in the Grass. Although hopefully not totally like that, because Natalie Wood’s character went bonkers. Besides, you aren’t nearly as handsome as Warren Beatty.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“Hey, don’t take it personally. Warren Beatty was a total hottie. So why don’t you? Have a girlfriend, that is.”
I closed my eyes and made a face. I wished I had a real answer for that one.
“I dunno, Al. I guess I haven’t found the right girl yet.”
“Huh. Well, don’t you think you should be looking? You’re not getting any younger.”
“Alma! I’m only seventeen. Why does it matter?”
“I told you, I was just thinking about it. Anyway, I think I might have some ideas about what kind of girl you should go out with.”
“Oh yeah? Fill me in.” At this point, I was willing to take love lessons from anyone.
She chewed on her bottom lip. “Well, she’d probably have kind of a Rita Hayworth thing going on. Thick red hair, pale skin.”
“Okay,” I said. “Sounds good. What else?”
“Well, she’d probably dress kind of like Annie Hall.”
“That sounds like a decent combo,” I said.
“You think so? Because I’m pretty sure she just pulled into the driveway in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.”
I jumped up and looked out the window. Sure enough, Old Bessie was parked in the driveway, and Lisa was sitting behind the wheel.
“Alma! How long has she been out there?”
“Just a few minutes.”
“Thanks a lot for telling me.” I headed to the front door and turned around before going outside. “By the way, she’s not my girlfriend.”
“Well, you never know. ‘This could be the start of a beautiful friendship.’ ”
I walked up to Old Bessie and knocked on the window. I half expected that Lisa had come just to tell me off, so I was relieved when she smiled up at me and pointed to the seat next to her. I got into the car.
“Hey,” I said.
“Listen, D,” she said, talking fast. “I know I hurt your feelings last night, and I’d feel really bad if we couldn’t still be friends and I’m really sorry and can we please just forget that it ever happened?
“You didn’t hurt my feelings,” I lied. “You just kind of took me by surprise.”
“Well, if I—I don’t know—offended your manhood, or anything like that, I didn’t mean to insinuate anything. It was stupid of me.”
I didn’t say anything. She reached over and put her hand on my arm, and I looked at her reluctantly. She pulled her sunglasses down her nose so I could see her eyes. She looked really sincere, which made me feel even worse about freaking out at her.
“Can we please be friends again?” she said. “I don’t know what I’d do if I had to spend the rest of the summer not hanging out with you.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” I said. “I was a total asshole. It’s just that you aren’t the first person who’s said that to me recently—about being gay. I’m pretty sick of it.”
“Hey, I totally get it. I shouldn’t have been so quick to jump to conclusions. Listen, let’s start fresh and pretend that last night never happened.”
I nodded. “Sounds good.”
“Awesome!” she said. “Now that we’re best friends again, I have a great idea. Why don’t we make it our mission for the rest of the summer to find you an awesome girl?”
“Sure,” I said, trying to sound enthusiastic, but wishing I had the balls to tell her the truth.
“You know,” she said, “you really don’t have to worry about me not hanging out with you anymore. This Kierce thing—it’s just a summer fling.”