Leonie looked up, and when she saw Lowell enter, she grew nervous. She had been walking through the garden, thinking mostly of Hugh and how miraculously he had recovered from the operation. Ransom had gone back to town but had asked her to stay and be sure that Hugh suffered no aftereffects.
“Hello,” Lowell said, and he came over and stood beside her. He was studying her as if he was not quite sure how to approach her, and finally he asked, “How did the operation go?”
“It went fine. He’s much better.”
“That’s good. I’ve always been fond of Hugh.”
“I think he’s going to be all right. Dr. Sheffield is a wonderful surgeon.”
“I’m sure he is.” A silence fell between the two, and finally Lowell said, “I always feel a little bit protective toward Hugh.”
“Protective—why is that?”
“Well, I’ve always felt that he missed out on life somehow. He could have done a lot more with his life than he did. He could have made something of himself.”
The remark did not sit well with Leonie. She was a quiet, modest girl not given to making judgments, but as she looked at the tall young man who stood beside her and thought of what his life was, she could not help remarking, “What about you?”
The simple question seemed to put Lowell on the defensive. “What do you mean, ‘What about me’?”
“I mean you could have made something of your life, too.”
“There’s nothing wrong with my life.”
Leonie did not answer. She only looked at him, and something in her gaze struck Lowell. He said stiff ly, “Are you trying to tell me that my life isn’t right?”
“Well, is it?”
Lowell’s face flushed a dusky red. He was an easygoing young man, but Leonie’s questions obviously disturbed him. “I don’t do any harm to anyone.”
“Life’s more than that, I think,” Leonie said. “I’m sure you don’t harm anyone, but do you help anyone?”
“That’s none of your business!” Lowell snapped.
“I suppose not, but you were the one who brought it up, speaking of Hugh. I felt sorry for him, but I don’t feel sorry for you. At least he has some reason for having missed out, as you put it, on life. He lost the one he loved very dearly, but your own losses have never crippled your penchant for laziness and luxury. Your life isn’t making anyone else’s better.”
“I don’t appreciate your comments,” Lowell said angrily. He turned without another word and stalked away. His back was stiff, and as he entered the house, he slammed the door behind him.
“Well,” Leonie said, not at all disturbed by his anger. “We are a little touchy about it, aren’t we?” She walked for another half hour in the garden and then reentered the house. Climbing the stairs, she went up to Hugh’s room, and when she stepped inside, she halted suddenly. Lady Maria was sitting in a chair beside Hugh’s bed. “Excuse me,” she said, “I didn’t know you were here.”
“Come in, Leonie,” Hugh said. His head was propped up with a pillow, and his color was much better. He smiled, and his voice was weak but stronger than it had been. “Come in and take care of your patient.”
Leonie smiled and walked over to his bedside. “You don’t need much care,” she said. “You’re looking fine.”
“I feel pretty washed out, but I think I would have died if you and Dr. Sheffield hadn’t come.”
“I think you might. Dr. Sheffield said he got to you just in time.”
“Sit down, Leonie. I was just talking to my sister about what happened to me.”
Somewhat hesitant, Leonie sat down. She felt Lady Maria’s eyes on her and met them. The older woman was studying her carefully, and there was something in her gaze that was cryptic. She turned again to face Hugh, f inding his smile ready. “What is it you’ve been telling her?”
“I’ve heard all my life that when someone is drowning, just before he dies, his whole life f lashes before him.”
“I heard that too.”
“Well, it’s true enough, or at least it was for me.” Hugh lay quietly in the bed. His hands were folded together, and there was a thoughtful expression on his face. “I really thought I was going to die, and the thing that came to me was what a waste I’ve made of my life.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” Maria said suddenly. She leaned forward and put her hand over Hugh’s, and her voice was gentle. “You’ve been a help to me.”
“No, I haven’t, but you’ve been a help to me,” Hugh said. “Ever since I lost my wife, I just haven’t cared about living. I just gave up. But when I lay here thinking I was going to die, it came to me that that was the last thing Autumn would have wanted for me. She wasn’t a quitter, but I have been.”
“You loved her very much, didn’t you?” Leonie said quietly.
“More than anything else. You know, I just wonder, from time to time, if I didn’t love her too much.”
“I don’t think it’s possible to love anyone too much,” Maria murmured.
“I don’t know about things like that, but I thought maybe God took her because I loved her more than I loved Him.”
The three were silent, and finally Maria said, “I don’t think that’s the way it was. We can’t explain why we lose those we love.” The sunlight filtered down through the window, and millions of tiny dust motes danced and fluttered in the yellow beams. The beams touched the carpet and brought out the rich colors of the oriental rug, and from outside a bird, lifting his voice in a chorus, sounded joyful and full of hope.
Hugh turned his head. “Listen to that bird. He sounds happy, doesn’t he? That’s what I’d like to be like. What I used to be like.”
“We can’t sing like birds all the time,” Leonie smiled. She leaned forward and studied Hugh’s face. “But I’m glad you’re feeling better.”
“I’ve always had kind of a contempt for those who made New Year’s resolutions,” Hugh said. “I’ve always thought, Why fool with such things? Just do what you intend every day. But I made a resolution while I thought I was not going to make it.”
“What was it?” Maria asked.
“I resolved that if I got well, I was going to go back to work. I was going to start painting again. I was going to make myself of some use in the world.”
Immediately Leonie thought of Lowell’s words about Hugh’s uselessness, and it pleased her that Hugh had come to this conclusion. “I think that’s wonderful,” she said. “I’ve seen some of your early work— you’re very talented. In a way it’s sort of cheating not to paint.”
“What do you mean?” Hugh asked curiously.
“I mean when we have a gift God gives us, we’re obligated to use it to help others.”
“I think you’re right about that,” Maria said, “and you do have a great gift, Hugh. Your work gives pleasure to so many.”
“I don’t know about that, but I know I’m going to try. I’ve probably forgotten all about how to paint, it’s been so long.”
The sound of horse hooves caught the attention of the three. Leonie rose and went to the window. “It’s Dr. Sheffield,” she said. “He’s probably come to check on his patient.”
That proved to be the truth. Ransom came through the door smiling and spoke to the two women, then examined Hugh. “Why, you’re going to be able to get out of this bed pretty soon.”
“I don’t know how to thank you, Dr. Sheffield.”
“You don’t have to do that. Why, that’s what I do.”
Ransom gave a few instructions to Lady Maria, then said, “I suppose you are about ready to go back, Leonie?”
“Unless you think I should stay.”
“You know, that might not be a bad idea.” Ransom nodded. “At least for a couple of days.”
“I really would feel better if you stayed,” Maria said quickly.
“Well, then I will,” Leonie said.
“Good. I like being waited on,” Hugh said.
“Come along, Doctor. I have your fee in the study.”
“I’ll come back the day after tomorrow, Leonie. Take good care of this fellow.”
“I will, Doctor.”
“Thanks for coming, Dr. Sheffield,” Hugh said.
After the doctor had left, Hugh said, “That’s one fine fellow.” He turned his head and studied Leonie. “He might be good material for a husband there.”
Leonie flushed. “I suppose so.”
“On the other hand, doctors may be very poor husbands. They stay busy all the time.”
Leonie didn’t answer. “I think Dr. Sheffield’s calling is going to keep him busy, but a good wife would understand that.”
Hugh studied her carefully, then smiled. “I believe she would,” he said. “How about reading to me for a while?”
The dinner was excellent, as usual, consisting of a jellied veal con-sommé, a French bean salad, and beef bordelaise. Leonie ate hungrily, for the cooking was very good. She said very little but listened carefully. Zara did most of the talking. Her eyes went, from time to time, to Leonie, and while she never specifically accused her of anything, she hinted strongly that Leonie had come simply to ingratiate herself with Lady Maria. Suddenly she said, “Aunt Maria, Julian and I have decided we want to get married.”
“I thought you decided that a long time ago,” Maria said quietly. Her eyes were fixed on Zara in an odd sort of expression. “What’s the urgency?”
“We’ve waited a long time,” Zara said. Her manner was nervous, and with her fork she pushed a grape around her plate. She had something on her mind, they could all see, and finally she said, “Julian and I have wanted to get married for a long time, but things were so—so unsettled.”
“Unsettled in what way?”
“Oh, you know,” Zara said, shrugging her shoulders.
Lowell laughed. “Yes, I suppose we do know. You mean you want to confirm how much money you are going to get and when.”
Zara was furious. “That’s unkind, Lowell.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be.”
Zara got up and swept out of the room without another word, her face livid with anger.
“You shouldn’t have said that, Lowell.”
“It’s true enough, Aunt Maria.”
“It may be true, but we shouldn’t be unkind to one another.”
“Zara has always been selfish.”
Maria Augustine straightened up. She looked at Lowell and said, “She’s not the only one, Lowell.”
Lowell flinched, and his face turned slightly pale. He could not answer but looked down at his plate.
“I think that it’s time you did something with your life.”
Lowell’s gaze went instantly to Leonie. “Leonie said the same thing,” he said.
“She’s a wise young woman,” Maria said. “I think you ought to pay attention to her.”
The tension grew in the room, and Leonie longed to say that strangers should not be included in family arguments. She excused herself and went to her room.
Later that evening, Leonie was sitting with Hugh. He had gotten out of bed, and she had fed him his supper off a tray. When she had taken the tray away, he had asked her to bring him some paper and a pencil.
“Are you sure you feel up to going to work? It’s very soon.”
“I’m just going to try a few scribbles,” he said. Leonie brought the tools he requested.
“Now,” he said, “sit right over there where the light from the lamp strikes you.”
Leonie was startled. “What for?” she asked.
“Because I’m going to sketch your picture.”
“Oh, no, I don’t—”
“Don’t argue with the patient. You’ll aggravate me, and it’ll be bad for my condition. Now sit down.”
Hugh was happy, she saw, and she went to sit down. He propped the tablet up on his lap, holding it with one hand at the right angle, and his hand moved rapidly. He did not speak, and his eyes studied her from time to time. “Tell me about yourself, Leonie,” he said.
“Tell you what?”
“Oh, about what you’ve done, what you’re going to do.”
Leonie hesitantly began to speak of her life. She did not dwell on the past but spoke mostly about her work at the clinic. He kept her sitting still for a long time, and then finally he said, “Come and see.”
Rising from her chair, she went over and stood over him and looked down. “Why, that doesn’t look like me.”
“Yes, it does, and it’ll look even more like you when I transfer the sketch to canvas and the paint goes on. I’ll start that in the morning. You know, I’m really excited about beginning to paint again.”
“Did you sell many paintings back in the earlier days?”
“Quite a few. I could have made a good living at it, but there didn’t seem any point. I was depending on Maria. I was a parasite, I suppose, just like Lowell and Zara.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t call them that.”
“Well, that’s what we are or were. But no more for me.” He looked up and said with a teasing grin, “Leonie, how about marrying me?”
Leonie knew he was joking. She smiled and said, “I don’t think so, Hugh.”
“I know your secret.”
“What kind of a secret? I don’t have any secrets.”
“Yes, you do. You’re in love with Dr. Ransom Sheffield.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Ah, your answer was too quick, but I believe you are.”
It was the second time someone had pointed out that she was in love with Ransom. She had paid little attention to Lolean’s charge, but Hugh was a man of some observation, and Leonie suddenly realized that he was right!
“He’ll marry someone from a higher social standing than I’ve got,” she said weakly.
“You think he’s looking for a fancy bride from the social register? You know better than that, Leonie.”
Leonie was too confused. She shook her head and was glad when suddenly the door opened and Maria walked in.
“Why, sister, I’ve begun my new work. What do you think of it?”
Maria went over and looked at the paper. “Why, it’s Leonie,” she said. “What a fine sketch.”
“The painting will be even finer. I’m going back to work with a vengeance. Tomorrow the painting starts.”
“You are looking fine, Hugh. I’m so pleased.”
Hugh grinned and winked at Leonie. “I feel so good at getting a new lease on life. And I’m so grateful to you, Leonie, and to Dr. Sheffield, of course.”
For one horrible moment, Leonie was afraid that he was going to say something about her being in love with the doctor. She did not want to hear it, so she got up and said, “I’ll leave you two alone.”
As soon as she was out of the room, Maria said, “You are really fond of her aren’t you, Hugh?”
“Of course. She’s a f ine young woman.”
Maria hesitated, then said, “You know, you say that knowing what went on here between her and that stable hand.”
“I never believed a word of that.”
“But we had evidence.”
“I don’t care about the evidence. I know she’s not the kind of girl who would do a thing like that, and that’s all there is to it.”
“You’re not very logical.”
“No. We artists aren’t,” Hugh said cheerfully. “Now, I want you to stop being logical and start thinking with your heart. That girl is Ives’s daughter. There’s no question in my mind.”
Maria began to tremble. “I know that she is, but she did a terrible thing. I was about to put my whole heart and trust into her when this came along, and now—”
“And now you’ve lost her. What if you’re wrong?”
Maria stared at her brother. She had no answer for that question had echoed in her own heart. “I can’t help it,” she said. “It’s hard for me to let myself love someone unconditionally.”
“That’s the only real kind of love there is, sister,” Hugh said gently. “I hope you find out about it.”
Zara had greeted Lowell with a harsh word when he had gone to her. She was still angry at him for his remarks, but he was always able to talk her out of her f its of anger. Zara finally said, “That girl is here to wind herself back into Maria’s good graces, but I’m not going to let that happen. You have to help me discredit her.”
“I won’t do it, Zara, and I think you’re behaving badly too.”
“Have you lost your mind?” Zara cried, staring at Lowell in angry disbelief. “If she comes back here, you’ll having nothing, and neither will I.”
“Nothing? Well, to tell the truth, that’s about what I’ve got now, Zara.” He looked at her and said, “I’ve been thinking what a sorry way it is to live, to sit around for years, waiting for someone to die. I’ve about had it with that kind of life.”
“What are you going to do? You’re pretty old to start in a profession.”
“I’m pretty old to be acting like a child, too,” Lowell said. His own remark seemed to surprise him, and he said, “I think I’ll have to do a little rearranging in my life, and I think you’d better do the same.”
Zara glared at him, but he only laughed and left the room. Zara shook her head, “You fool! You’ll throw everything away because that girl came back, but I won’t!”