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I get out of bed, with the sun flooding into my room.
I rush over to the window and looking out, the skies are clear, and the blue is so far above me, high up in the sky. This is going to be a beautiful day, I think elated.
It is indescribable how just this one little thing—a clear, sunny day—can lift a person’s mood and soul. Somehow the clear blue sky makes my heart rejoice, my bones tingle. I suddenly have an excited expectation that life is great and there is a larger meaning to everything after all.
When I get to school, Jane is waiting for me at the gate, and I wonder why it took her so long to find me. She could have saved me from weeks of misery and smelly toilets, trying to hide from the cleaners.
I conveniently forget that I distanced myself from all human interaction, and I was the one who managed to avoid her on more than one occasion. Even if she did discover my lunchbreak hiding place, she would have only found my body, not me. I did not want anybody to speak to me then. I did not want to be here, until that afternoon in my sanctuary, when that warm bit of sun glowed over me.
While walking beside her down the pavement to the school building, she leans toward me, saying with a hint of conspiracy in her voice, “Aaron likes you.”
I look at her quizzically. “Me? How could he, we only met yesterday?”
“Aaron, who sits in front of you in Science,” she explains.
“I know which Aaron,” I reply evasively.
“He has liked you since your arrival, looking at you with those puppy-dog eyes. I am surprised you never noticed.”
“I never paid attention.”
“Well, we all met at Siobhan’s house during mid-term break one day, and I have to admit, we did discuss you.”
I look at her astounded. “Discussed me?”
Jane laughs embarrassed. “Don’t worry; it was all nice things—honestly.”
“I don’t understand why you all met to discuss me?”
“We didn’t meet to only discuss you.” She giggles embarrassed. “But, to be honest, we have been discussing you on and off over the last few weeks.” She looks at me, with a serious look on her face. “If I could have found you during breaks or had the guts to approach you during class, we wouldn’t have been so intrigued by you.” She continues hesitantly, “You always looked so distant and stuck-up, but then after mid-term break you seemed different, more open and accepting, so I took my chance and spoke to you.”
I look away embarrassed and wait for her to continue.
“Well, anyhow Aaron adores you, and he asked me if I know whether you like him, so I am asking.”
“I am not really interested,” I try to explain awkwardly, without sounding harsh, while I look at her apologetically.
A flash of relief washes over her face for just the briefest moment. “Well, anyway, here we are.”
We have reached our Science classroom and I know Aaron is in there somewhere. I feel anxious having to deal with this now.
Aaron is staring at me nervously as I walk through the doorway behind Jane, and she nudges me in the ribs with her elbow.
“Ouch!” I whisper and think annoyed that I have just made friends with them, but now I am creating tension between us. Still when he smiles at me, I smile in return.
Typical Elizabeth, please everyone, why don’t you?
During the next couple of weeks, Jane, Aaron and I hang out as a group. Sarah and Connell are in fifth year, while John and Siobhan have eyes only for each other, so we only meet up with them on the odd occasion.
Aaron is basically a very perceptive person and realizes very soon we would only ever be friends, without me having to tell him directly. This is a great relief, although at times I still see a glimmer of hope in his eyes, especially when it starts to look as if I am not interested in anyone else either.
It is early December and winter is fast approaching. The days are much shorter and bright, cloudless days are infrequent, but it is one of those rare sunny days.
We are standing at our lockers, talking excitedly about the weather. Connell unexpectedly turns toward me and says in his abrupt way, “Elizabeth, seeing as it is such a lovely day, one of the five a year we experience here in Ireland, Jared phoned me and suggested we all go down to the beach this afternoon. Are you up for it?”
Looking up at him bewildered, I step back surprised.
Aaron answers for me, “That sounds great, Connell. I’ll tell Siobhan, John and Sarah.”
Why did he ask me specifically and who is Jared? I am just about to ask Jane but when the bell rings I forget about it. As we walk to our first class, excitement floods through me at the prospect of spending time with my friends, outside of school.
At lunch, we sit on the grass in a circle watching the sky above us intently and suddenly every one of us is a weather expert, predicting no un-expected rainfall for this afternoon.
During Irish, I quickly text my mum, telling her not to collect me straight after school, that I am going to the beach with some of my friends, and I will call her to fetch me later.
Being her usual overprotective-self and not paying attention to the time, my ring tone echoes through the classroom.
Mr. Halpin stares at me over his little owl glasses and says in a sharp voice, “No mobiles in class, Elizabeth!”
“Yes sir,” I say embarrassed as I press the mute button at the same time.
This is now going to cost me another text, I think frustrated, while I discreetly push the buttons on my phone, under my desk.
Mum. In class. Will call you as soon as the bell goes.
I send the message and then switch off my phone, just in case.
After school, Aaron waits for me while I collect my books, and then he walks with me to my locker, not saying anything and looking anxious.
I get the books I will need for homework from my locker, and as we walk out through the main door, Aaron guides me in the direction of the only two cars parked next to each other at the far end of the parking lot.
He says apprehensively, “We’ll drive down to the beach with my brother.”
I look at him, with a frown. “I didn’t know you have a brother.”
He seems apologetic. “Sometimes I forget I only know you a few months.”
I ignore the hint of expectation in his voice and say, “But surely, I would have noticed by now that you had a brother?”
“He has been at a rugby training camp since mid-term break and only arrived back very late last night,” he explains.
“He didn’t come to school today?”
“No, he decided to take the day off.”
“Oh, okay.” I smile up at him. “This is kind of a surprise. So, he has not been at school since I met you?”
“No. He was here the first day you arrived.” He glances at me and when our eyes meet, he looks away quickly. “He left during mid-term break. Before you and I became friends.”
He says the word friends as if it has a deeper meaning, and I feel a twinge of guilt because he likes me so much more than I could ever like him. He did not evoke any deeper feelings in me, feelings I equated with love.
We reach the parking lot, and I recognize Connell’s Citroen, but not the ruby red Jeep next to it.
Jane, Connell, and Sarah, Siobhan and John, are talking loudly and laughing—happy that the sun is holding onto its place in the sky.
Suddenly, Connell says, at the top of his voice, “So are you all ready to leave then?” In the same breath he asks, “Sarah, are you driving down with me?”
I see Sarah hesitate and look toward the Jeep, but then she turns toward Connell and, smiling, she walks toward him.
Aaron and Jane start to walk toward the Jeep, with me following, and then I falter, for a moment, as I become aware of him climbing out of the driver side of the ruby red Jeep.
