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By the time break arrives, it is raining outside, which means Jane and I cannot go out to sit on the grass, or the pavilion to get some privacy. Obviously, the cafeteria is not a place for secrets.
She looks at me helplessly, but I take hold of her by the hand and gently, yet persistently, I make her follow me up and down the corridors. We find a corner away from everywhere, away from too much student traffic and we sit down on the carpeting. We sit next to each other and lean our backs against the cold, damp wall, folding our legs in under us. I look at Jane and insist at once, “Tell me.”
She turns her head to me, resting the back of her head against the wall. “Okay, so Jared and Sarah have history. They have basically been together from the day they were born, because their parents have been friends since forever. I suppose it got serious between them in first year and everybody knew Jared was the more serious one, so when Sarah broke it off with him in third year, he was devastated. He did not even come to school for a whole term, and rumours were going around that he had broken his leg, but nobody ever saw him to say if it was so or not. To make matters worse Sarah left Jared for Dermot, a relationship doomed from the beginning. For two years now, Jared has not even looked in the direction of another girl, except Sarah, so she has always believed he was still hers to have, whenever she wanted him. That is also why we were all so shocked yesterday when he seemed so attracted to you and,” she whispers, “Sarah now hates you with a passion.”
“They are still together?”
“No, silly. Sarah thinks so though, but I am sure he is long over her.” Jane sounds cheery and optimistic.
“How can they still be friends then, if she supposedly broke his heart?”
“Like I said, they basically grew up together, so maybe he has no choice to be friends with her.”
“I don’t think so, because why then is he ignoring me today? Maybe, he is still waiting for her and he was trying to make her jealous with me, the new girl. I obviously jumped to conclusions, but...”
“No, you didn’t jump to anything,” she interrupts me. “We all noticed him taking an out of the ordinary interest in you, but you have to understand, he has not gone out with another girl for two years now, so maybe he is afraid to be hurt again.” She nudges her shoulder against mine. “He’s damaged.” I frown briefly, while she continues, “Well anyhow, your parents also move in the same social circles now as Jared’s and Sarah’s parents, so you don’t have to shy away from going after him, you know?”
“What are you talking about?” I stare at her.
“The land your dad owns, Jared’s parents’ land, and Sarah’s parents’ land all surround the village, and all three these properties have been in the same families since the 1300’s, owned by Lords. They are all very prominent, important people in this community. You see where I am going?”
“My dad only inherited the farm, so it doesn’t mean we have status and money, and besides how can you say I can be with him because we own a manor of over 600 years old? That just seems pretentious.” I smile absent-mindedly, and then say more to myself than to her, “I would never even contemplate hurting him.”
“You really fell for him fast, didn’t you?” Her voice is full of concern.
“I don’t know what it is. I suppose it could be love at first sight, if there is such a thing. I really do like him more than I would like to admit to at this moment, and now it seems he hates me.” I smile glumly. Then I suddenly realize, and ask shocked, “Don’t tell me that this is the reason why you and Aaron are not together, because his parents are supposedly important?”
“Well, I am very middle class, but I would really consider my natural shy nature to be my greatest flaw in this aspect.”
I sigh miserably, but grin as I glance at her impishly. “Jared did light up my senses like a Christmas tree though.”
Jane starts to giggle uncontrollably, and I cannot help smiling with her.
The bell rings and we get up, walking arm in arm to our next class.
When we walk into our Irish class, Aaron looks at us and asks annoyed, “Where were you? We were looking all over for the both of you.”
I feel bad, because he is our friend and we left him stranded, but we were discussing his brother, which I cannot do with him. I cannot tell Aaron how Jared hurt my feelings.
Jane bursts out laughing nervously.
Irritated, Aaron turns his back on us and sits down at his desk.
After school, I take my time at my locker. The fifth year Business class is running late and when I walked past the classroom and glanced in, I saw Jared staring out the window with a vacant look in his eyes. Even with the ache in my heart, I still smile because he is so very boyishly handsome.
Aaron joins me and I am hoping he will move on fast, but not too fast. I did not want Jared to think I am waiting for him.
Aaron interrupts my thoughts and asks cautiously, “Are you okay?”
“Yes, why wouldn’t I be?”
“Did Jane tell you about Sarah?”
“Yes. She told me at break.”
“When Jared got home last night, he went straight to his room without talking to anyone and listened to music. I wanted to speak to him about... Well, about you, but he ignored me when I knocked at his door. He has not locked himself in his room since the day he caught Sarah and Dermot together on the beach.”
I look at him shocked. “I thought they just broke up. Jane didn’t tell me Sarah cheated on him.”
“Not many people know the whole story. He was devastated, because she cheated on him. I think it’s not because he still cares for her that he has avoided girls.” He pauses, looking at me searchingly. “He is not the type of person to have shallow relationships. He needs to feel a connection, if you know what I mean?”
I smile at him sadly. Jared obviously did not feel a connection with me.
Aaron leans into me and I am sure I imagined a smug smile cross his face briefly. “Come I’ll give you a hug. You look totally miserable.” He pulls me into him and holds me close, but as fate would have it, at just that moment, Jared comes walking around the corner.
I see Jared’s smile fade and his eyes harden, turning dark green, as he becomes aware of Aaron and me hugging. He walks past us hurriedly, out of the main door.
I push Aaron away from me. All of this is happening too fast, faster than the blink of an eye. I still have to lock my locker, get my bag and I want to run after Jared, so many things all at once. I have this urgent compulsion to tell Jared the hug between Aaron and me means nothing. I start rushing toward the door.
Aaron holds me back. “Let him go.”
I pull my arm out of his grip and run out the door, just in time to see the Jeep drive out the school gate.
I look back at Aaron scornfully.
He walks toward me and puts his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into him. I shrug his arm off my shoulders, as he says, “I’ll walk you to the gate. Come.”
I suppose I am being rude to Aaron, but at this moment I can only think about Jared. Horrified I wonder what Jared is thinking. Does he think I like Aaron, after all?
