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“Me?” I laugh softly. “I think it is more a situation of me having to protect myself against you, after the way you treated me. You cannot be all over me one day and then the next avoid me, it’s mean.”
“I know, and I’m sorry, but I know what I want now.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course, anything.” He looks back at me reflectively.
“I hear you have never been with another girl since Sarah, is it because you still love her?”
He turns on the bed, facing me. “Would I sit here and declare my love for you, give you my heart and ask you to please look after it with great care, if I still loved Sarah?”
My heart jumps into my throat. My mind starts to roar, and I know not long from now, it will be so loud I would not be able to hear myself think. Somehow, I manage to keep my expression serious. “But what if Sarah comes to her senses one day and decides you are the one she wants and then when you compare the two of us, you might suddenly realize being with me is a mistake.”
“You, Elizabeth, make my heart beat so fast it makes it difficult for me to breathe. My heart races at the sight of you. I feel this deeper connection with you, even though I hardly know you.”
My pulse is racing now, but still I ask uncertainly, “You can’t be serious about giving me your heart though, because as you said, you barely know me. We only met a few days ago.”
He smiles, as if he knows a secret. “I might not know the intricate details of you yet, but I became aware of you long ago. To be precise, that very first day you walked through the school gate. I thought going to rugby training camp would clear my mind of you, but all it did was make me think of you even more.” He grins mischievously. “No sneak peeks at you are torture.”
I look at him amazed. “You noticed me on my first day at school?”
“I did. You always looked so sad and vulnerable. I wanted to reach out to you, but could not bring myself to do it, because I knew I could never just be your friend. When I got back from training camp, I asked Connell about you and he suggested we all go to the beach. I really hoped you would also go. Connell knows how I feel about you and from the beginning he has been trying constantly to convince me to speak to you.”
“So, yesterday? Why were you avoiding me then?”
“After the beach I dropped Aaron off first, because it was my intention to tell you how I felt, but then you said your parents are upset with you. I could not sit in front of your house, expressing my feelings, knowing your dad might come rushing out at any moment. Then, by the time I got home, I decided there was no way you could feel the same way about me as I feel about you. I kept thinking I should walk away before... So, I decided to rather try harder at avoiding you. Obviously, as you can see, without any success.” He continues seriously, “I went to school the following day with the firm conviction to keep away from you. I noticed the hurt in your eyes when I was so rude to you after you came into the room, bringing sunshine with you. All I could think of all day was you and decided I do not care what happens. I could not handle the uncertainty any longer and I knew I wanted to be with you. I was on my way to find you and to explain my offensive behaviour, but then I saw you and Aaron hugging. I thought you had something going for Aaron anyway and it was only in my imagination that you liked me, because I wanted so much for you to feel the same way as I do.”
“So, what makes you think you can trust me with your heart now? What makes tonight different?” I ask him and then I hold my breath.
“Because, I have told you at last.” He takes a deep breath and looking at me carefully, he continues, “I cannot stand the suspense of not knowing whether you like me or not. I am not one of those people who thrive on the unknown, the little looks, and the secret smiles. I have to know.” He stops and looks at me inquiringly, “So?”
“So what?” I ask.
He sighs frustrated. “Do you like me or not?”
I smile widely. “Honestly, Jared. The moment I saw you, I liked you. I cannot really explain it, but it was brutally painful, actually.” I lean into him and kiss him softly on his lips.
Smiling impishly, relief in his eyes, he gently pushes me down onto my back and shifts to lie on his side next to me, draping his arm over my waist.
He asks seriously, “Where do you go at lunch break, I never see you?”
Shyly I look up at him. “Hiding.”
“Where could you possibly hide at school?”
“You don’t want to know.” I laugh embarrassed.
“So why were you so sad? It could not have been the weather, because it was a beautiful summer.”
“I didn’t want to be here. I wanted things to go back to the way they used to be.”
There is a moment of awkward silence, and then he asks softly, “So how did you end up moving to Ireland then?”
“Sean, my stepdad, inherited our new home from his father last year and over a period of a couple of months convinced my mum to move here. I had to follow.”
“Is your dad still in South Africa?”
“No. He died when I was five years old.”
“I’m so sorry,” he says softly.
The mood is getting morbid.
Smiling up at him, I say, “So, you wanted to give me an Irish welcome by throwing me into the icy waters of the sea. How can that possibly be an Irish welcoming?”
“That was just an excuse to get your attention.”
“Ah, but you already had my full attention,” I reply teasingly.
With a smile playing across his face, he traces kisses with his lips along my neck, up the side of my face, over my eyebrows, and getting frustrated, I move my face, searching for his lips. I lace my arms around his neck, reaching up and we kiss. While we kiss, I turn onto my side as his hand on my waist moves to the small of my back, and he pulls me closer to him.
After a while, I draw back from him reluctantly, catching my breath and he smiles at me, his green eyes dreamy.
“You said there was something you needed to know?”
He frowns briefly, looking puzzled.
I explain, “Before everything, you said there was something you had to make sure of.”
He smiles slowly. “I needed to know if you like me. I was supposed to establish this, before pouring my heart out to you.”
I feel warm inside. My tummy feels like hot, gooey molasses. Feeling self-conscious, I change the subject, “So, how did Jane orchestrate this whole get together?”
He sighs exasperated. “Connell phoned Aaron, telling him his parents were away for the weekend and wondering if he should organize a party. Connell is into Sarah now. Siobhan and John have been together for three years; so, Aaron suggested just a small get together, mentioning Sarah. Connell fell for it straight away, so then Aaron phoned Jane, asking her to speak to you. Jane then phoned me, and I needed the opportunity to speak to you, without the whole school staring at us. I didn’t know how welcome I would be knocking on your front door.” He smiles bashfully.
I feel as if I could hug him forever.
“Jane also thought you wouldn’t come, after my rudeness on Friday, especially if you knew I was here, so my Jeep is parked at John’s house, around the corner, and we walked.” He pulls me even closer to him and continues, “Does that answer your questions now? I would like to discuss a previous issue.”
I look at him confused.
Leaning into me, he laughs softly. “Kiss me.”
