A sensation in Pippa’s gut told her something was wrong, and her instinct never failed her. Why had Lexie turned up? It was not like her to back down from an argument, and they’d had a few lately – the last one, awful. Pippa wondered if they’d ever get over it. Lexie appeared jittery, and that wasn’t her. Something was amiss.
‘You’ll stay then?’ Pippa saw a strange fleeting expression cross Lexie’s face.
‘I should get back.’
‘Why? Do you have a more pressing engagement on a Saturday morning?’
‘I need to catch up on reports.’
‘Can’t it wait? Have a day off. Besides, we’ve got catching up to do – if we can stay civil.’ Pippa gave a light-hearted smile. ‘And Oliver thought it a good idea too.’
‘I’m sure you want family time. Oliver has only just got home,’ Lexie said, making her way towards the front door. ‘I can pop in another time.’
‘Nonsense, we’ll have plenty of time together,’ said Pippa, wondering how Lexie knew Oliver had only just got home.
‘I don’t mind. I’ll come back later.’
‘What’s up, Lexie?’
‘Nothing. It’s been a tough week, and I still have stuff to do.’
‘So why come?’
‘I thought—’
‘Spit it out, Lexie. What’s on your mind? You’re never at a loss for words.’
‘Look, there’s nothing. I thought we needed… I wanted to see you.’
‘You could have phoned.’
‘As could you.’
‘Well, you’re here now, so why not stay a while?’
‘Because… I don’t want to end up arguing, again.’
‘We won’t.’ Pippa felt more emotionally responsive towards her now. ‘Things haven’t been the same. It’s ages since you’ve stayed over when Oliver’s away. I’ve missed our midnight chats.’
Lexie’s lips curled. ‘Like our uni days.’
It reminded Pippa of when Lexie used to burn the candle at both ends, but still managed to finish her assignments on time and achieve a First.
She looked at her now, noticing a strained expression. Reaching out, she touched Lexie’s arm. Lexie’s muscle tensed in response.
‘Come on, stay for lunch at least.’
‘OK.’ Lexie smiled but Pippa noticed the smile failed to reach her eyes.
They headed back to the kitchen and Pippa scanned the cupboards.
‘I’ll see what I can rustle up. Relax, I’ll make another drink. I don’t suppose you want herbal tea?’ she asked, grinning.
‘Caffeine’s my fix. Flowers are for the garden.’ Lexie laughed for the first time since she’d arrived.
‘Better not use decaffeinated this time then.’
‘Was I that obvious?’
‘Your nose wrinkled. Sure you don’t want to try a herbal? I’m partial to this one.’ Pippa reached into the cupboard and pulled out a box. ‘Ginseng and pomegranate.’
‘I could think of nothing worse. Give me caffeine and alcohol any day.’ They laughed, lifting the earlier atmosphere.
‘Coffee it is then. Unless you’d prefer wine?’
Lexie’s eyebrows lifted. ‘At this time? Even I don’t drink this early, though I’ve been drinking more lately.’
‘Oh, why’s that?’
‘Usual stress at work. Still a man’s world.’ Lexie shook her head. ‘They hate it when I beat their targets and they’re pissed off if I don’t. Whatever I do, they want more. Higher targets, new custom, more travel. There’s no let-up.’
Pippa noticed Lexie looked exhausted, and she felt concerned, but she was too worried to pass any work-related comments. Things could get heated, like last time.
‘Here’s your caffeine fix.’
‘Thanks.’
Pippa peered into the fridge. ‘Now, what do you fancy for lunch? I have couscous with haricot beans, a nice leafy salad, or—’
‘Don’t you have real food?’
Pippa turned to Lexie who was shuddering exaggeratedly. Pippa raised a finger. ‘I know, you want a nice, meat-filled sandwich, eh?’
‘Sounds wonderful.’
‘Chicken on granary?’ Pippa asked, selecting the items. ‘And salad, no onions.’ It reminded her how well they knew one another.
Pippa busied herself with the task, glad to have her back to Lexie. There were many unanswered questions. What happened in their lives shaped who they’d become, and, despite everything, she missed her. Their friendship was stronger than opinions, wasn’t it? They’d shared secrets and mutual understanding. So when did beliefs and emotions take over?
Placing the food on the table, Pippa joined Lexie to eat.
‘Mm,’ said Lexie, taking a small bite.
Pippa noticed Lexie nibbling, rather than eating and enjoying her food as she usually did. She stabbed a piece of tomato with her fork.
‘Your salad looks appetising,’ Lexie said, nodding at Pippa’s plate. ‘It reminds me when we first met at uni, remember?’
‘And you were eating a huge slab of cake.’ Pippa smiled. ‘You thought I was studying art, and I thought you were studying law. It’s funny how we make first impressions on people.’
‘You looked like a healthy hippy,’ said Lexie grinning. ‘You still eat the same.’
‘I adore salad. If it wasn’t for Oliver’s desire for meat, I’m not sure I’d buy it.’
‘You’re not a veggie now, are you?’
‘No, though the more I discover what’s injected into animals the less meat I eat.’ Pippa saw Lexie’s perfectly waxed eyebrows rise.
‘If we worried about everything, I’m sure we wouldn’t eat.’ Her tone became tetchy.
‘It has to affect our health. Think what they do to fatten pigs. Everything is hurried for faster production.’ She picked up a spring onion and dipped it in hummus.
‘Vegetables get sprayed, and you eat those,’ Lexie challenged.
‘I grow my own now or buy organic.’
‘How about when you eat out?’ Lexie set her sandwich down, sat back and crossed her arms. ‘Do you ask the chef if everything on your plate’s organic?’
‘Now you’re being pedantic.’
‘No, Pippa, it’s you. Must every conversation be a debate?’ Lexie moved the plate away. ‘Thanks for the sandwich but I’ve lost my appetite.’
Pippa saw the familiar nostril flare.
‘I guessed this was a bad idea,’ Lexie said.
‘What is your problem?’ Pippa said, with a slow disbelieving shake of her head. Only Lexie had the ability to trigger her. She felt her anger build.
Lexie rolled her eyes. ‘My problem? My problem is you. You’ve changed so much. There is not a single topic we can discuss. You make me feel bad even when I’m trying to eat a fucking sandwich, for Christ’s sake!’
Pippa felt a rush of blood to her cheeks. ‘That’s your paranoia. People can pass an opinion without worrying about causing offence, surely. What’s the matter? Are you feeling guilty about marketing poisons?’
‘Fuck you, Pippa!’ Lexie raised her voice, eyes blazing. ‘You’re so sanctimonious. It’s about time you lived in the real world. People die without drugs. And you’re wrong, I’ve got nothing to feel guilty about.’ She forced the chair back with her thighs, standing.
‘Oh no? You work for these pharma giants, who use the media for their scaremonger tactics. Forcing statins on people, making them believe they’ll prevent heart attacks. Promoting flu vaccines when they can’t possibly know what strain of flu will strike!’ Pippa’s heart raced. ‘Why do you think people are becoming sicker, despite the advances in medicine?’
Lexie glared at her. ‘I’m not listening to this shit.’ She stomped out of the kitchen, calling behind her, ‘Don’t bother to see me out.’
Pippa’s chest heaved with rage. How dare Lexie come into her home, hurling foul-mouthed insults? She marched after her. ‘Truth hurts doesn’t—’
They halted as Oliver’s key slid into the lock.
‘Hi, honey,’ Oliver said, stepping into the hallway. ‘Hello, Lex.’
Pippa’s eyes darted between them. Lexie looked at the floor. That was a stiff exchange, thought Pippa.
‘Hellooo, Auntie Lexie. Look what I’ve got!’ Alexander thrust an activity book into her hand.
‘Hello. What’s this then?’
‘It’s Doodlepedia. We had to go to another shop to get it, didn’t we, son?’ Oliver told them.
‘But first, we had nuggets.’ Alex looked up at Oliver. ‘And I ate them all like a good boy, didn’t I, Daddy?’
‘Yes, you did.’ Oliver grinned at him. ‘We took a voucher to WHSmith’s in exchange for the book. That’s why we were longer than I’d expected,’ said Oliver. ‘There’s another one too, Animal Antics. I promised him that one next week if he’s good, didn’t I, son?’ Oliver rubbed Alexander’s hair.
Alexander nodded in agreement. ‘Will you come too?’
‘I’m sorry, darling, I’ve lots of work to do.’ Lexie reached down to pick him up for a cuddle.
‘I like your new book.’
Pippa scrutinised Lexie as she surveyed the book, flicking through the pages to appease Alexander. Lexie smiled at Alexander and passed it back.
‘Is everything OK?’ Oliver asked.
‘Lexie was just leaving.’
‘Oh nooo, you’ve only just come. I haven’t seen you yet,’ Alexander protested, screwing up his face, pouting his lips.
Lexie kissed his cheek and put him down. ‘I know but—’
‘Pleeease, Mummy, ask Auntie Lex to stay,’ he pleaded, disappointment in his eyes.
‘I’m afraid she has to go. She’s got work to do and—’
‘But I want her to stay.’
Pippa knelt beside him to hug him. ‘Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want, Alexander. Lexie’s busy. She needs to collect medicines to make people better.’ Her voice was laced with cynicism. ‘Isn’t that right?’ she asked, tilting her face to Lexie.
‘Mummy’s right, darling. If I didn’t, lots of people would get sick.’ Lexie shot a look back at Pippa, her mouth set.
‘Mummy makes people better too, don’t you, Mummy?’
‘I do. Now, Daddy will take you upstairs to fetch the crayons for your new book, OK?’
‘K,’ said Alexander, clutching his father’s hand.
Pippa stared at Oliver, giving him the cue to leave, and held the door ajar for Lexie.
‘Bye bye, Auntie. See you soon.’
‘Bye, Alexander. Thank you for showing me your lovely book.’ She turned to Oliver.
‘Goodbye, Oli.’
‘See you.’
Pippa watched their exchange intently. She wanted Lexie out of her home.
Alexander clambered up the stairs. Oliver followed, twisting around, his quizzical expression settling on Pippa.
Pippa’s only concern was for Lexie to leave. As she opened the door wider, their gazes locked. Lexie shook her head and stepped outside.
Pippa fixed her stare on Lexie’s rigid back as she marched to her car, climbed in and drove off without a backward glance. Pippa closed the door, leaned against the wall and heaved a juddering sigh. Tears of anger prickled, ready to spill. Closing her eyes to calm herself, she focused on stabilising her breathing for a moment.
Back in the kitchen, she cleared the table and disposed of the uneaten lunch. Then she filled the bowl with water, squeezed in detergent and washed the plates vigorously.
Her chest was still heaving. Lexie had enraged her, leaving her feeling sick. Why had she evoked so much fury in her today? This time, it had ended their relationship for sure. She never wanted to see her again. But more disturbing had been the look Lexie and Oliver exchanged. And her words, ‘I’m sure you want family time, Oliver has only just got home.’ Pippa hadn’t mentioned to Lexie how long he’d been on leave so far. Just then, she felt Oliver’s arms encircling her.
‘What was all that about?’
Pippa stiffened and continued to rinse the plates.
‘Hey, talk to me,’ Oliver said, turning her around to face him.
She grabbed a towel to dry her hands, still in his arms but not meeting his eyes.
‘Pippa,’ he said, taking the towel and putting his finger under her chin to turn her face towards him.
‘Where’s Alexander?’
‘He’s playing. Are you going to tell me what’s going on?’
‘She’s a bitch! I never want to see her again!’ Her lips trembled, and she drew a deep shaky breath. She was glad when he tightened his arms around her, but she could no longer restrain the huge wave of sadness. Sobs burst from her as he stroked her hair.
‘Shh… It will be OK. You’ll work things out.’ He kissed her head and held her, rocking her like a child.
She calmed, enjoying his comforting arms. Her thoughts reverted to the look, but she forced herself to push it to the back of her mind. He tilted her chin and brushed her lips with his own, his thumb stroking her damp cheeks.
‘No more tears. Sit in the lounge and I’ll bring you a cup of chamomile.’
Pippa did as he suggested, too emotionally spent to resist. When Oliver joined her, she peered up at him as he crossed the floor. Her pulse quickened. ‘When were you going to tell me about Lexie?’