12

After dropping Tag off at his mom’s house, telling him what time to be at the garage the next day, Linc and I drove in silence back to my house. After I grunted twice at something he’d said, he took the hint and turned up the radio, not pressing me as to why I was suddenly in a foul mood.

Not only had I never expected the encounter with Riley, and all that entailed, from her seeing me naked, which I’d done on purpose, to having to restrain myself enough not to toss her on the bed and have my way with her, but I was still pissed off about her fucking tattoo. Not that she’d gotten one but that she let a guy she didn’t know give it to her. Then to add insult to injury, to my ego, of course, the placement was indecent. If I’d been with her, I would’ve insisted she got a female to ink that on her. Fuck, I might’ve talked her into placing the tattoo anywhere else, not even wanting a woman to be that close to her vag area, as she put it.

And how the hell long had she been standing outside the bathroom? Did she hear anything? I hesitated in doing so at first, but the more the image of her in that skimpy bikini tore through my brain, the more my restraint lessened. What would she have done if she knew I’d jacked off in the shower right before she saw me? Would she have run out of the room or would she have yelled at me for thinking of her while I did the deed? Or, and I realized this was a long shot, would she have been turned on?

I saw the way she looked at me when I walked out of the bathroom, and again when I intentionally dropped my towel. She tried to hide her lust, but I saw it painted all over her beautiful face.

“You gettin’ out or what?” Linc’s voice shoved me away from my recollections and back to the present. I’d been so lost to the thought of Riley I hadn’t noticed we were parked in front of my house.

“Uh, yeah. Sorry.” I grabbed the door handle.

“You okay, man? You seem off.”

“I’m fine. Just a lot of shit on my mind.”

“I can relate. Trust me.” When I glanced at him, I saw the somber look on his face, an expression I hadn’t noticed earlier. Then again, I was too wrapped up in all things his sister.

I opened the door and jumped out, neither of us in much of a mood to divulge what bothered us. I couldn’t, for obvious reasons, and I doubted Linc wanted to get into a heart-to-heart right now.

Once I entered my place, I strode toward the keypad and punched in the four-digit code to shut off the alarm system. I’d chosen the date Riley and I first had sex. I should’ve changed it, but I hadn’t gotten around to it and I wasn’t sure I ever would.

When I moved out of my parents’ house several years ago, instead of renting an apartment, my dad told me I could live in a house that belonged to the club because it had been vacant. The place had once been owned by a guy named Zip, a loyal member who’d gotten killed in an ambush to kidnap Addy and Kena, Stone’s and Jagger’s wives, although they weren’t married at the time. He died trying to protect them, his loyalty fierce and still talked about every now and again. And because he spent so much time at the club, my dad had him buried on the adjacent grounds.

The top-of-the-line security was updated to include modern functions such as cameras and locks that could be operated from an app on my phone. All of the interior had been renovated, my parents footing the bill for everything. Whenever I acknowledged that we were wealthy, my dad would laugh and say that he and my mom had money, not me.

I earned a good salary working for the club’s garage, even with the cut I put back in for monthly dues and upkeep. I didn’t have to cover rent, mortgage, or taxes so my only bills were food and utilities. My truck was a birthday present and I saved up enough money to purchase my bike outright.

While the club’s older members could’ve taken care of any and all expenses, there was a rule that every member had to financially contribute, and since us younger guys didn’t have the wealth the others did, we had to actually work to cover our share. But none of us complained… much.

Grabbing a beer from the fridge, I twisted off the top and took a full swig before plopping down on the couch. With my head leaned against the back, I closed my eyes, wanting to think of anything or anyone other than Riley, but she kept intruding on my thoughts. After ten minutes of trying to shove her image from my brain, I gave in to one of my favorite memories of us. It just so happened to be the first time we had sex, all sentimental clichés and shit be damned.

“Are you sure you wanna do this? We can wait if you’re not ready.” Lying on top of Riley, my forearms supporting the brunt of my weight, I studied her face to see if whatever answer she gave me would be the truth. I’d gotten good over the years at reading her, picking up on her two main tells that she wasn’t being truthful. Not only would her green eyes darken to a stormy gray, but when it was more than a white lie, she would pick at the center of her bottom lip with her middle finger and thumb. The second tell was useful if it was dark and I couldn’t see her eyes all that well. I only let on that I knew about her first tell, keeping the second one secret for those times I had to call her on her bullshit.

“I’m ready.” She placed her hands behind my neck to pull me closer. “Just go slow.”

Riley and I were alone at my house, in my bedroom, working up to having sex for the first time. She wanted to do it on her seventeenth birthday, but that day came and went. We couldn’t sneak away to be alone, which was for the best because I didn’t want to rush. I probably sounded like a girl or something, but I wanted the experience to mean something, just like she did, so when I found out my dad would be gone on a run for the club and my mom was going out with Addy and Reece, I invited her over. One thing led to another and we ended up on my bed, naked and nervous.

We were six months apart in age, so while Riley was seventeen, I was still sixteen, for the next two months, at least. I’d had the official talk about sex with my dad when I was ten, and while I’d been grossed out and embarrassed at the time, all I could think about from the first time I kissed Riley was the scenario happening right now… her naked beneath me, staring at me like I was her whole world. It was the same way I looked at her.

“I love you,” I said, gently planting my lips against hers. Everything in me wanted to rush through this, my hormones on overdrive, my dick so hard it fuckin’ hurt, but I would cause her pain if I didn’t take my time. Most of my friends told me the first time was over quickly, and to jack off a few times before doing the deed. I took their advice, although that tidbit of information I kept to myself.

“I love you, too,” she whispered, spreading her legs so I could move further between them, my hips pinning her to the bed.

The moment the head of my dick pressed against her, she tensed, swallowing hard, then licking her lips.

“Are you sure?” I asked again.

“Yeah.” Her breaths matched mine… short and choppy, and we hadn’t even started yet.

“I think it’ll be better if I move back a little so I can see what I’m doing. Besides, I have to put on the condom.” Riley nodded but didn’t say anything, her eyes following every move I made. I reached beside me and grabbed the foil wrapper, tearing the corner of it with my teeth before pulling out the condom. Once it was in place, I looked at her to see if she was still on board with all this, and her expression twisted my heart.

Her teeth held her plump bottom lip captive, her nostrils flaring the tiniest bit. But it was her eyes that undid me. The way she looked at me, love and trust all wrapped up into one, literally made my chest ache.

“Ready?”

She nodded.

I’d seen numerous videos and pictures, so I had a good idea of where everything was on a woman down there, but being with Riley like this washed away every image I’d seen before her. While I wanted to bury myself inside her, I wanted to hold out as long as I could just to commit the sight of her to memory.

Her tits were perfect, her dark pink nipples staring right at me. A thin patch of hair led to the place where I wanted to lose myself forever.

I hoped she didn’t think it was weird I was staring at her pussy as intently as I was, but I wanted to make sure I put my dick in the right hole. My one buddy told me he wasn’t paying attention to what he was doing and almost fucked his girl in the ass. Needless to say, that experience didn’t go down as expected.

Pressing into her, her chest expanded with a deep inhale, her teeth doing a hell of a job on her lip.

“Slow… go… slow.” She released her breath and I pushed in another inch, my restraint already starting to crumble.

The further in I went, the more she tensed, and while I hated hurting her in any way, I couldn’t help but love how incredible she felt around me. I tried not to be selfish and shove all the way in, counting to five over and over again. When I was fully sheathed inside her, I didn’t move, giving her time to adjust.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. It just hurts.” A lone tear fell from the corner of her eye, and when I leaned down to kiss her, trying to make her feel better, she slammed her hands against my chest. “Don’t move. It hurts worse when you lean over me.”

I moved back into place, on my knees and remained still for several moments. Finally, I asked, “Are you okay if I move a little.”

Again, she nodded, her eyes pinned to mine the entire time. I slowly worked in and out of her, her eyes closing and her features tightening every now and again. But the moment her lips parted, and she moaned, I released my own pent-up breath, picking up the pace a little more than before.

“Are you okay?” I asked again, hoping by now she wasn’t in as much pain.

“Better.” She reached for me. “I need you to kiss me. Please,” she panted. I leaned down, my body flush against hers and took her mouth with mine, my tongue gliding against hers, our kiss shoving me closer toward the edge. “I love you,” she moaned, her fingers twirling the underneath of my hair while she moved her body with mine.

“I… love—” I couldn’t even finish telling her I loved her before a powerful tingling sensation ripped through me and it was all I could do not to fuck her as fast and as hard as my body demanded. I pulled back and looked down at her, my breathing increasing and matching the thumping of my heart before collapsing on top of her and burying my nose in her neck. I clutched her waist so tight I thought I would leave a bruise for sure.

I wanted to tell her I loved her over and over.

I wanted to make sure she was still okay.

I wanted to make our first time last longer.

But several thrusts later and I came, all regard for her pain flying right out the fuckin’ window in those last few seconds.

Afterward, I rolled off her and onto my back, linking my hand with hers between us. So many words flew through my head, but I didn’t know quite what to say.

“Kaden?”

I turned to face her. “Yeah?”

“I’m glad we were each other’s firsts.” Her smile tamped down the overwhelming feeling of misplaced jealousy that sprung to life. The way I interpreted her words meant that we were someday going to have sex with other people, and the thought of Riley with anyone else made me lose my breath. But I never voiced my thoughts because I realized I was being ridiculous.

“Me too.”

My cell dinged, alerting me to a text. While I wanted to remain in the past, the effort was pointless. No good could come of dwelling on things that had already happened. Some of the events I wanted to relive repeatedly and some I wished I could take back.

Reaching for my phone, I swiped the screen and saw a message from my mom.

Mom: Don’t forget Roman’s birthday party is next Saturday

Me: I’ll be there

Roman was Ryder and Braylen’s son. He was named after his dad, which was how I’d come to find out what Ryder’s real name was. And while I wasn’t in the mood to be around a bunch of kids, everyone got together for all the kiddos’ birthdays, so it was pretty much mandated I attend. Thank God there’d be alcohol.

Once the kids reached fourteen, they stopped having huge club parties and just celebrated with their own families and select friends. Roman was turning ten, so he had four more years to go, but he was the last of them. Jagger and Kena’s boys, Evan and Harrison, were fifteen and sixteen.

After downing another two beers, I watched mindless television until I passed out on the couch. My last thoughts were of Riley, thinking of ways to get back into her good graces so we could become close once more. Whether I’d be able to accomplish such a feat was yet to be determined.