Waiting for Riley to show up at my house zapped all my patience. When I texted her before leaving Ryder’s, she replied right away, telling me she wouldn’t be long. That was two hours ago.
After pacing in my living room didn’t hurry things along, I sat on the couch and literally twiddled my thumbs, thinking of how good or how badly our impending talk would go.
I’d just leaned my head back and closed my eyes when I heard my front door open. Drained from the day’s events and my mental warring, I stayed still, my eyes opening and finding Riley the moment she stepped into the room with me.
“Where were you?” My tone was filled with edginess. I hadn’t meant to sound gruff, but my need to see her, to touch her, to finally put an end to the resistance between us had taken its toll.
She faltered midstride before continuing toward me. “I needed to talk to someone before coming here.”
“Who?” I rose from the couch and met her halfway, taking her hand in mine.
“Chelsea.”
“Yeah? What’d she have to say?” I led Riley back to the couch, sitting close.
“Not much, surprisingly. She was shocked, of course, but she mainly just listened.” She kicked off her sandals and sat cross-legged, settling further into the back of the sofa, her hands resting in her lap.
“Did you talk about the pregnancy and… the miscarriage?”
I released a slow breath, not knowing quite how to feel if she answered yes. I understood she needed someone to confide in, and while that should be me, sometimes our friends were better sounding boards.
“It’s the one detail I left out. I wanted to talk to you about it first.” She fidgeted in her seat. “I’ll tell her later.”
“When did you find out?” No need in wasting time. I dove right in.
“A week before the accident.”
“A week?” I couldn’t stop my voice from rising. “Why didn’t you tell me?” My heart hammered away inside my chest, but I needed to calm down if we were gonna get anywhere. My brain was a scrambled mess with questions and all sorts of impossible scenarios playing out in my head. What would I have done had I known she was pregnant? Would I have tried harder at our relationship? Would I have finally come clean to Stone about us? The man I am today would say yes to all those questions in a heartbeat. But the guy I was back then… I wasn’t as sure. Did Riley know me better than I did myself three years ago. Did she have an inclination that our relationship was on the verge of ending before that night she showed up at the clubhouse?
“I wanted to, but that’s not something you tell someone over the phone or in a text. I wanted to tell you in person, but you kept canceling our plans. Then that night, we had a fight.” Her eyes filled with unshed tears. “And then… then I found you at the clubhouse.”
Riley shifted, placing both feet on the ground. Because I didn’t want her to change her mind and leave, which was what her body language screamed she wanted to do, I asked her another question, trying to take her mind off finding me passed out with some random woman on top of me.
“Were you happy about it?”
“Not at first. I was scared out of my mind, worried about how you would react. And of course, I feared what my father would do.”
I rolled my eyes. “We found out what he would do.”
“Yeah, we did,” she said before turning toward me and reaching for my face. “I hope it doesn’t hurt too much.”
“No. Not as much as before.” I nuzzled my cheek into her palm before she lowered her hand, looking somewhat uncomfortable.
“Two days after I took the store-bought test, I went to see the doctor to make sure it was accurate. It was, and even with all my worry about you and my dad and just the unknown, I was happy. You and I created a life.” A lone tear fell down her cheek. “Then after I lost the baby, and our relationship fell apart, I fell into a depression. I couldn’t tell anyone what happened, so I had to deal with it all on my own.” Another tear fell.
My heart broke all over again. “I’m so sorry.” Those three words weren’t enough to erase or lessen the pain she’d gone through, but they were the only thing I could offer. I wished I could change the past, but I couldn’t. That was my guilt to deal with.
Riley had three years to mourn the loss of the life we created, but now it was my turn. I wouldn’t dwell on it. I wouldn’t even bring up the topic again after tonight, if that was what she wanted, but thinking about her pregnant with my baby, then miscarrying, affected me more now than when she first told me at the party.
I’d been in shock then. I didn’t have any time to wrap my head around the concept of what she revealed before I had to deal with Stone finding out about us.
While I’d been lost inside my own head, I almost missed the flash of reservation that twisted her lips into a frown.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” I prodded, finding myself desperate to get inside her head, and out of mine.
“I don’t know. There’s so much.” Riley’s chest deflated with an audible sigh. “Now that my dad knows what happened between us, I’m not sure what to do.”
“About us?”
“Yeah, and…” She shrugged. “Stuff in general.” I must’ve given her a look because she shook her head and smiled. “Don’t mind me. I’m just confused.”
“Again… about us?”
She leaned her head back, tearing her eyes from mine. “Us. People knowing I was pregnant. Trusting you. Trusting myself.”
“Riley.” I waited for her to raise her head and look at me before speaking again. “You can trust me. I’ll never hurt you again. I swear.”
“You say that now, but what if you decide it’s too much dealing with my dad and splitting your time between me and the club? I can’t take you pulling away from me again.” She played with the hem of her dress, the material riding up and exposing more of her thighs.
“I’ll deal with Stone,” I said, sounding more confident than I felt. I had no idea how any of our future interactions would go but I knew one thing for sure, I wouldn’t allow him to keep Riley and me apart any longer. “And while the Knights are a big priority for me, you are, too. More so.”
“I don’t—”
I leaned closer. “I was younger then, new to the dynamics of the club. I felt like I had to prove myself, so I immersed myself in it. I got caught up and lost sight of everything, including us. But now I’m established, and I realize what’s important. I want you to be a part of my life again. I need you to be a part of my life again.” She opened her mouth to speak, but before she could say something that might potentially hamper her from agreeing to be with me, I grabbed her and moved her on top of me, positioning her so she straddled my lap. She didn’t resist. “I love you, Ry. I always have. And I’ll regret the way I treated you. But please don’t hold the past against me. Give me another chance. I swear you won’t regret it.”
My hands rested on her waist, my fingers flexing against the fabric of her dress in nervousness. I prayed she didn’t pull away from me, physically or emotionally.
“I’ve loved you since before I knew what love was, Kaden. But—”
My grip on her tightened. “Don’t say but.”
“I just don’t see how this is going to work. My dad hates you now. I don’t ever see you two being in the same room together without a fight. And even though he drives me insane, I don’t want to be the reason he’s miserable whenever he sees you or thinks of us together.”
“Let me handle your dad.”
“How? How are you going to change twenty-two years of overprotectiveness towards me?” She leaned back right before her eyes widened. “What if you get kicked out of the club?” She tried to wriggle off my lap, but I held her in place. “You’ll resent me if that happens.”
“I’m not gettin’ kicked out. That’s not how this works. If Stone didn’t get booted after he divulged his relationship with Addy, then I’m not goin’ anywhere.”
“But Uncle Trigger shot my dad for being with my mom. Is that what it’s gonna take for him to accept us? Shooting you?”
I didn’t tell her Stone mentioned exacting his revenge in that very manner because that would solidify her reasoning for wanting to back away from giving us another chance.
“He’s not gonna shoot me.” I wasn’t convinced of my own words, but I’d never let on. “Once he sees how good we are together and that I can take care of you, he’ll back off.”
“I don’t need you to take care of me, Kaden. I can do that for myself.”
Instead of arguing, I pulled her closer until our mouths were inches apart, her hands resting on my chest to balance herself. “Will you let me do it right now, then?”
“Do what?” she whispered.
“Take care of you.” I raised my brows and licked my lips.
Her mouth fell open right before she squirmed in my lap.
I never waited for her answer before I sealed my mouth over hers, begging for entrance with the tease of my tongue. Riley parted her luscious lips, our kiss starting off tentative and evolving into an animalistic need to devour the other.
She’d finally given herself back to me and I wasn’t ever letting her go again.