WEEK 5 ● Day 4
READ PHILIPPIANS 3:12-16
Maybe it’s just me, but the fact that Paul feels like a work in progress is pretty comforting. This incredible man of God, who had a profound influence on the early church, was human just like me. And in his humanness, he shows us how to pursue a life of trusting the Lord rather than trusting in our own ability to be perfect. Because we all have the tendency and face the temptation to take control of our life’s helm ourselves.
My rule-following ways became a desire for perfectionism. After all, if I could follow all the rules just so, I could control myself and all the things around me, too—right? I’ve also been known to look for my worth in perfectionism. Amanda Jenkins wrote poignantly about this impulse in her book Confessions of a Raging Perfectionist:
To be thought of as the bravest or the wisest. To be recognized for having the cleanest house and the best-behaved kids (which would make me the best mom, right?). I want my husband to think I’m the sexiest, my mom to think I’m the kindest, and my friends to think I’m the funniest.[1]
That list we talked about yesterday? I run into problems when I attach significance to it—that “if I lose five pounds and spend twenty minutes reading my Bible, I’ll be a better, more spiritual, more loving, more lovable person. When I fail to live up to my own expectations, I feel inadequate . . . unworthy of the approval I seek.”[2]
For Christian women, that’s a tragic irony—tragic because, like everyone else, we spend most of our time working toward unattainable goals; ironic because Christ died to free us from the notion that we must earn our worth.[3]
AMANDA JENKINS
1. Does perfectionism have a hold over your life? Where do you struggle with the need to be perfect to gain approval?
What if, instead of pursuing perfection, we pursued the One who is perfect? When we want to be like Christ, we’re not struggling for the kind of perfection that means we look perfect—and so do our kids and house. God isn’t interested in us simply looking the part. He’s interested in restoring us so we can live in increasing intimacy with Him.
2. What do you think is the difference between striving through perfectionism and striving toward Someone who is perfect?
What I’ve learned about striving toward perfection and living a life of rule-following is that I’m doing things for God rather than being with God. I don’t need to prove to God that I’m worthy of love because I’m a perfect rule follower. I couldn’t, even if I tried. He loves me just because I’m His daughter and because it’s in His very nature to love.
3. Head to Philippians 3:12 in the BLB and look at the word perfect in the Interlinear. How would you rewrite the first part of Philippians 3:12, using the words and phrases from the Interlinear section or even Thayer’s Greek Lexicon?
Here’s what I got: I’m not saying that I have already accomplished this goal of being found complete and raised to the state of heavenly blessedness through perfection, but I press on toward it. Your rewording is probably similar to mine, but I’m not quite seeing how this helps me break free of perfectionism. Do you? Let’s see what else the Bible tells us about being perfect—maybe that will clarify things. Check out Matthew 5:48:
You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
4. Wait a second. We’re supposed to be perfect, as it says in Matthew 5 . . . but we have no way to achieve perfection because only God is perfect? What do you think this means?
God, who is perfect, requires perfection from us because only the perfect can be in His presence. We become perfect not through anything we do, but rather because of God’s great exchange: As we believe in and accept Jesus’ sacrificial death on the cross, He exchanges our imperfection for His perfection. Then we, as new creations, receive the Holy Spirit, who dwells inside us, cultivating our lives so that we can become more like Jesus.[4]
5. In Philippians 3:13, Paul says that he hasn’t yet arrived at his goal. How is he actively pursuing it?
Sometimes we think we’re unchangeable, that we’re stuck in who we are and how we live. But even though we may feel enmeshed and bogged down, it’s because we’ve conditioned ourselves to believe we can’t come untangled. That’s a lie! If we seek God’s face and pray with a humble heart, He can change us. What we thought were immovable aspects in our character will shift to show His glory instead of seek our own. There are always second chances with God.
In Philippians 3:14, Paul proclaims he is actively pursuing the heart of God for a specific prize: “the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
6. How do Paul’s words here in Philippians 3:14 connect to what he says in 1 Corinthians 9:24?
This verse in 1 Corinthians always makes me think of my oldest son, Abreham. Several of my kids are runners, but so far, Abreham’s four-minute-twenty-second mile makes him the fastest. One thing Abreham’s high-school coach always told him was, “Don’t look back—it slows you down!” So when Paul shares in Philippians 3:13 that he’s not looking back, but forward, I’m reminded that the words of Abreham’s coach are true in life as well. If we’re focused on where we came from and how we measure up to others, how are we going to focus on where we’re going and pursue it well?
There’s another piece to this whole perfection conversation that we find in Philippians 3:15, and it connects to what Paul is saying about the race in a way that should expand our understanding far beyond ourselves. Depending on what translation you’re studying from, you may not even know these words are present in verse 15, but this verse literally says,
15 Let us therefore, as many as are perfect, have this attitude; and if in anything you have a different attitude, God will reveal that also to you; 16 however, let us keep living by that same standard to which we have attained.
So he’s saying the word us next to the phrase as many as are perfect? I thought perfection was unattainable! But now he’s telling us that he and we and others are part of a community of perfect people? Let’s dig into what he means by perfect here. It makes sense; I promise.
7. Grab your phone and head to the BLB again. What do you learn about this phrase be perfect (teleios; τέλειος, pronounced teh-lay-os)? (Hint: Look in Thayer’s Greek Lexicon.)
Did you find the part where it says that teleios means someone who is “full-grown” and “mature”?[5] This word means that something has grown into beautiful maturity.
In Philippians 3:15, Paul isn’t saying that he’s perfect or that anyone else is either. Instead, we can grow into maturity in Christ—together. Every piece of wisdom we learn, every choice we make to depend on God, every move we make to live like Christ (Matthew 5), leads us toward maturity and God’s perfecting work. Paul knows some of us haven’t reached that place of maturity (Philippians 3:15-16). But when we choose to be in God’s Word and intentionally deepen our roots, we are growing. We are always moving toward the One who is perfect.
Consider the places in your life where you struggle with perfectionism, and place them at the feet of Jesus. Take some time in silence today—while driving in your car, while sweeping or doing dishes, or any time you would typically turn on music or the television—to hear how He wants to make you perfect according to His will, not your efforts. Meet the Lord in the silence. What is He whispering over you?
Amen.