KNOCK, KNOCK JOKES

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Michael.

Michael who?

Michael-esterol is high these days.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Oscar.

Oscar who?

Oscar if she has a sister, I’m a little lonely right now.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Nadia Comaneci.

Nadia Comaneci who?

Nadia Comaneci your dinner is getting cold.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Sonia.

Sonia who?

Sonia paper moon sailing over the…

Knock knock. Who’s there?

Dyslexic.

Dyslexic how?

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Owen.

Owen who?

Owen the Saints come marching in…

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Minnesota.

Minnesota who?

Minnesota bad mood these days.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Boke.

Boke who?

Sorry, I don’t speak French.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Doris.

Doris who?

Doris locked that’s why I’m knocking.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Butcher.

Butcher who?

Butcher arms around me and gimme a kiss.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Don Imus.

Don Imus who?

Don, Imus have said something offensive.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Danielle.

Danielle who?

Danielle so loud, I heard you the first time.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Elvis.

Elvis who?

How soon they forget.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Obama.

Obama who?

Obama self, don’t wanna be….

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Illinois.

Illinois who?

Illinois me no end when those telemarketers call.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Arizona.

Arizona who?

Arizona one way to skin a cat, I don’t care what they say.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Arkansas.

Arkansas who?

Arkansas this log in half in 30 seconds flat.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Dakota.

Dakota who?

Dakota comes at the end of the piece.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Connecticut.

Connecticut who?

The hip is Connecticut the thigh bone…

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Sherwood.

Sherwood who?

Sherwood like to come in, if you’d only open the door!

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Sincerely.

Sincerely who?

Sincerely this morning I’ve been waiting for you to open the door!

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Stopwatch.

Stopwatch who?

Stopwatcha doing and open the door!

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Consumption.

Consumption who?

Consumption be done about these knock knock jokes?

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Harmony.

Harmony who?

Harmony knock knock jokes do you need me to do here?

Knock Knock.

Who’s there?

Absent minded.

Absent minded who?

I’m sorry, what?

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Sam and Janet.

Sam and Janet who?

Sam and Janet Evening…

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Keith.

Keith who?

Keith me, thweetheart.

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Noah.

Noah who?

Noah good place to eat around here?

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Señor.

Señor who?

Señor underwear when you bent over.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Frankfurter.

Frankfurter who?

Frankfurter lovely evening.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Dexter.

Dexter who?

Dexter halls with boughs of holly.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Fortification.

Fortification who?

Fortification, we’re going to Miami.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Mr. Walter.

Mr. Walter who?

You don’t Mr. Walter until the well runs dry.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Itzhak.

Itzhak who?

Itzhak sin to tell a lie.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Earl.

Earl who?

Earl-y bird gets the worm.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Amos.

Amos who?

Amos behavin’—savin’ all my love for you.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Isabel.

Isabel who?

Isabel not working?

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Carl.

Carl who?

Carl get you there faster than a bike.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Fornication.

Fornication who?

Fornication like this, you should wear a black tie.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Amarillo.

Amarillo who?

Amarillo-fashioned cowboy.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Euripides.

Euripides who?

Euripides pants, I breaka your face.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Justin.

Justin who?

Justin time for supper.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Diploma.

Diploma who?

Diploma is here to fix the sink.

Knock, Knock.

Who’s there?

Ida.

Ida who?

Ida called first, but the phone’s not working.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Tarzan.

Tarzan who?

Tarzan Stripes Forever!

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Philip Glass.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Repeat.

Repeat who?

Okay. Who, who, who, who, who.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Debussy.

Debussy who?

Debussy Fields!

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Wilbur Wright.

Wilbur Wright who?

Wilbur Wright back after this guitar solo!

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Dewey.

Dewey who?

Dewey have to do these jokes all night?

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Agatha.

Agatha who?

Agatha blues in the night!

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Luke.

Luke who?

Luke for the silver lining…

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Toreador.

Toreador who?

Open up or I’ll toreador down!

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Aardvark.

Aardvark who?

Aardvark a million miles for one of your smiles!

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

The German border patrol.

The German border patrol who?

Don’t ask qvestions!

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Omelet.

Omelet who?

Omelet smarter than I look.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Panther.

Panther who?

Panther no panth, I’m going thwimming!

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Bisquick.

Bisquick who?

Bisquick!! Your pants are on fire.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Radio.

Radio who?

Radio not, here I come.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Eskimo Christians.

Eskimo Christians who?

Eskimo Christians, I tell you no lies.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Grace.

Grace who?

Grace skies are gonna clear up, put on a happy face.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Ammonia.

Ammonia who?

Ammonia bird in a gilded cage.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Olive.

Olive who?

Olive me, why not take olive me.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Ketchup.

Ketchup who?

Ketchup falling star and put it in your pocket….

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Osbourne.

Osbourne who?

Osbourne under a bad sign.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Alex.

Alex who?

Alexplain it later.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Control freak. Now you say, “Control freak who?”

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Charlotta.

Charlotta who?

Charlotta bad jokes around here!

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Thesis.

Thesis who?

Thesis ridiculous.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Antithesis.

Antithesis who?

Antithesis finished I can’t think of anything else.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Synthesis.

Synthesis who?

Synthesis going nowhere I think I better bail.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Saul.

Saul who?

Saul there is; there ain’t no more.

An angel is talking to God. The angel says, “Look, God. I know that you’re all-seeing and all-knowing, but for the knock-knock joke to work, you HAVE to say ‘Who’s there?’”