A guy walked into a bar. The bartender said, “You’ve got a steering wheel down your pants.”
The guy said, “I know. It’s driving me nuts.”
A drunk walked into a bar and saw a woman sitting there and he walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him. He said, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.” She said, “You worthless idiot, you no good drunk!” He said, “And you sound like her, too.”
A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “Make you a bet. If I win, I get a free drink. Can you spell a word with ten letters that starts with GAS?” The bartender thinks about it, and says no. The guy says, “AUTOMOBILE!”
A guys walks into a bar, and there’s a seal sitting at the far end of the room. The seal says to the man, “I like the way you smell. You’ve got a great haircut. Your jacket looks great on you. Nice tan.” The man says to the bartender, “Who is he?” The bartender says, “That’s the Seal of Approval.”
A young man from Texas walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender replies “Ya got any ID”? The Texan says, “An idee about what”?
A B-flat, a D-flat, and an F walk into a bar. The bartender says to them, “I’m sorry we don’t serve minors here.” So the D-flat leaves and the B-flat and the F have an open fifth between them.
Why do elephants drink so much?
To try to forget.
Eight Canada Geese walk into a bar. What do they order? V-8.
Van Gogh is sitting at the bar. The bartender asks, “Would you like a whiskey?”
Van Gogh replies, “I got one ‘ere.”
Why did the mouse run under the beer truck?
Because he wanted to get smashed.
An Irishman walks into a bar in Cork city and asks the barman: “What’s the quickest way to get to Dublin?”
“Are you walking or driving?” asks the barman.
“Driving,” says the man.
“That’s the quickest way,” says the barman.
A vacationer from New York found his way into a bar in Billings, Montana, and began some serious drinking. After he was well past the legal limit, he stood up and shouted, “Every last Democrat is a horse’s ass!” The crowd jumped on him and beat him up.
After a week he returned to the same bar, had some drinks, and stood up and shouted, “Every last Republican is a horse’s ass!” The crowd descended upon him and beat him into silly putty again. He asks the bartender, “Who are these people anyway?”
“You don’t understand,” the bartender replied. “This is horse country.”
So these two Irishmen walked out of a bar.
A dog went into a bar and ordered a drink. He said to the bartender, “What are you staring at?”
The bartender replied, “Just surprised to see a dog in here drinking a martini. Don’t see that very often.”
The dog said, “At these prices, I’m not surprised.”
A man walks into a bar with his dog and says, “This is a talking dog. I’ll bet you a drink.” The bartender takes the bet and the man says to the dog, “What’s up overhead?” Dog says, “Roof!” The bartender says, “Awwww, make him say more than that.” Man asks dog, “Describe sandpaper.” Dog replies “Rough!” The bartender is still not satisfied. The guy asks the dog, “Who is the best baseball player who ever lived?” The dog replies, “Ruth!” The bartender says, “Get that dog out of here.” As they walk out the door, the dog asks the man, “What should I have said? Mickey Mantle?”
So a dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any jobs?” And the bartender says, “Why don’t you try the circus?” And the dog says, “Why would the circus need a typist?”
A guy stumbles out of a bar and vomits all over a rat and thinks to himself, “Whoa, I don’t remember eating that!”
A man walked into a bar looking sad, and the bartender asked him, “What’s the matter?” The man said, “My wife and I had a fight, and she told me she wasn’t going to speak to me for a month. And the month is up today.”
A pile of vomit walked into a bar and sat down and started to cry.
The bartender said, “What’s wrong?”
And the vomit said, “I’m just sentimental. This is where I was brought up!”
A man walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under his arm and says, “Beer please, and one for the road.”
So a five-dollar bill walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “Get out-a here! We don’t serve your type. This is a singles’ bar.”
A termite went into a bar and asked, “Is the bar tender here?”
This skeleton walks into a bar and says, “Give me a beer and give me a mop.”
This fly walks into a bar, walks up to a woman sitting at the bar, and says, “I like that stool you’re sitting on.”
A Frenchman walks into a bar. He has a parrot on his shoulder, and the parrot is wearing a baseball cap. The bartender says, “Hey, that’s neat—where did you get that?” And the parrot says, “France—they’ve got millions of them there.”
“Hey, bartender. Pour me a cold one.”
“Hey, go on, kid, you wanna get me in trouble?”
“Maybe later. Right now I just wanna beer.”
An anteater walks into a bar and says that he’d like a drink.
“Okay,” says the bartender. “How about a beer?”
“No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o,” replies the anteater.
“Then how about a gin and tonic?”
“No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o.”
“A martini?”
“No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o.”
Finally, the bartender gets fed up and says, “Hey, buddy, if you don’t mind me asking—why the long no’s?”
A pair of jumper cables walked into a bar and asked for a drink.
The bartender said, “Okay, but I don’t want you starting anything in here.”
So there was this dyslexic guy who walked into a bra.
Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, “Olive or Twist?”
A blind man walks into a bar, grabs his dog by its hind legs, and swings him around in a circle. The bartender says, “Hey buddy, what are you doing?”
And the blind man says, “Don’t mind me, I’m just looking around.”
Into the bar comes a grasshopper. And the bartender says, “Hey, we’ve got a drink named after you!”
And the grasshopper says, “Is that right? Why would anyone name a drink Bob?”
A horse walks into a bar. And the bartender says, “Why the long face?”
Two ropes go into a bar. The bartender says, “Get out of here. We don’t serve ropes in here.”
The ropes go outside and one says to the other, “I have an idea.” He ties himself up, messes up his hair, and goes back in. The bartender says, “Hey. No ropes.” The rope says, “I’m not a rope.”
The bartender says, “You’re not a rope?”
“Nope. I’m a frayed knot.”
Two guys were walking their dogs—one had a German shepherd and the other had a Chihuahua. The man with the shepherd suggested going into a bar for a drink. The other man says, “They’re not going to let dogs into the bar.” And the first guy says, “No? Watch this.” He puts on some dark glasses, acts like the German shepherd is a Seeing Eye dog, walks into the bar, and orders a drink. And no one says anything.
So the second guy takes out some dark glasses, slips them on, and walks his Chihuahua into the bar. The bartender says, “Sorry—we don’t allow dogs in here.” And the man says, “It’s okay—it’s my Seeing Eye dog.” The bartender laughs and says, “This Chihuahua is your Seeing Eye dog?” And the guy says, “They gave me a Chihuahua?”
A pork chop goes into a bar and orders a drink.
The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
A cowboy walks into the bar and asks for a whiskey. Suddenly another cowboy rushes in and yells, “Joe, Joe, hurry up, your house is on fire!” The cowboy runs to the door and then stops and thinks, “Hey! I ain’t got no house!”
The cowboy sits back down and drinks his whiskey. Suddenly another cowboy runs into the bar shouting, “Joe, Joe, hurry up, your father is dying!” The cowboy jumps up, runs out, jumps on his horse, and then remembers, “I ain’t got no father!”
He walks back to the bar, sits down, and finishes his drink. And another cowboy bursts in and yells, “Joe, Joe, hurry up, you won the lottery and there’s a million bucks for you at the post office!” The cowboy jumps to his feet, runs out of the bar, jumps on his horse, gallops to the post office, dashes in, and then he says, “Hey! My name ain’t Joe!”
A guy comes in with a frog on his head, and the bartender says, “Where did you get that?” And the frog says, “It started out as a little bump on my butt.”
This guy walks into a pub, sits down, and says, “Give me two beers. Rough day at work.” And the bartender says, “Oh? What do you do?” The guy says, “I take care of the corgis— you know, the dogs the royal family owns.”
The bartender says, “Tough job, huh?”
The guy says, “Well, all that inbreeding has led to low intelligence and bad temperament. And the dogs aren’t that smart either.”
A brain goes into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’ll have a pint, please.” The bartender says, “Sorry, I can’t serve you, you’re out of your head.”
This guy walks into a bar and has a drink. And he looks in his pocket and orders another drink, looks in his pocket and orders another drink, looks in his pocket and orders another drink, looks in his pocket, and so on. And the bartender says, “What are you doing. What’s in your pocket?” And the guy says, “It’s a picture of my wife. When she starts looking good to me, I know it’s time to go home.”
A man goes into a bar and says, “Give me a drink before the trouble starts.” And the bartender gives him a drink.
He drinks it and says, “Give me another drink before the trouble starts.”
He downs that one and says, “Give me another drink before the trouble starts.”
He drinks that and says, “Give me another drink before the trouble starts.”
And the bartender says, “When’s this trouble going to start?”
The man says, “The trouble starts as soon as you realize that I don’t have any money.”
The tourist goes into a bar, and there’s a dog sitting in a chair, playing poker.
He says, “Is that dog really playing poker?” And the bartender says, “Yeah, but he’s not too good. Whenever he has a good hand, he starts wagging his tail.”
This cowboy walks into a bar and orders a beer. His hat is made of brown wrapping paper, his shirt and vest are made of waxed paper, and his chaps, pants, and boots are made of paper. His spurs are made of tissue paper. Pretty soon they arrest him for rustling.
René Descartes is in a bar. At last call, the bartender asks him if he’d like another drink. Descartes says, “I think not.” And he disappears.
A man walks into a bar. There’s a beautiful woman sitting at the bar, and they sit and have a drink together. She leans over and says, “I want you to make me feel like a real woman.” So he takes off his jacket and says, “I need this ironed.”
A northerner walks into a bar down South around Christmastime, and there’s a little nativity scene on the bar. And the guy says, “That’s a nice nativity scene. But how come the three wise men are wearing firemen’s hats?” And the bartender says, “Well, it says right there in the Bible— the three wise men came from afar.”
A pig walked into a bar, ordered fifteen beers, and drank them. The bartender asked, “Would you like to know where the bathroom is?”
“No,” said the little pig. “I’m the little pig that goes wee-wee-wee all the way home.”
This duck walks into a bar, and the bartender looks at him and says, “Hey, buddy, your pants are down around your ankles!”
A bear walks into a bar and says, “I’d like a beer and … … a packet of peanuts.” The barman says, “Why the big pause?”
A panda walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, “Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter, and you didn’t pay for your sandwich.” The panda yells back at the bartender, “Hey man, I’m a panda. Look it up!”
The bartender opens his dictionary to “panda” and reads: “A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.”
A guy goes into a bar, orders four shots of the most expensive thirty-year-old single-malt Scotch, and downs them one after the other.
The barkeep says, “You look like you’re in a hurry.”
“You would be too if you had what I have,” says the guy.
“What have you got?” asks the bartender.
“Fifty cents.”
A drunk guy walks into a bar and looks up to see a lady with a French poodle. The drunk slurs, “Where did you get that pig?”
The lady, with a look of surprise, snaps back, “I’ll have you know that it is a Frrrench poodle.”
The drunk looks at her and says, “I was talking to the French poodle.”
This duck waddles into a bar, and the bartender says, “What can I get for you?” The duck says, “Got any grapes?” The bartender says, “No, we serve beer and whiskey and stuff like that.” The duck says, “Okay,” and he leaves.
The next day, the same duck comes in, hops up on the stool, and says, “Got any grapes?” The bartender say, “No— I’ve told you two days in a row that we don’t have any grapes. You come in here again and I’m going to nail your beak to the bar!” So the duck leaves.
The very next day, the same duck comes back into the bar and says, “Got any nails?” The bartender says, “No, why?” And the duck says, “Got any grapes?”
A man walks out of a bar and sees a bum panhandling on the corner. And the bum says, “Mister, do you have a dollar you could spare me?”
The man thinks about the question for a bit and asks the bum, “If I give you a dollar, are you going to use it to buy liquor?”
“No,” says the bum.
The man then asks the bum, “If I give you a dollar, are you going to use it for gambling?”
Again the bum says, “No.”
So the man says to the bum, “Do you mind coming home with me so I can show my wife what happens to someone who doesn’t drink or gamble?”
Waiter: And how did you find your steak, sir?
Diner: Well, I just pushed aside a pea and there it was…
A salesman walks into the bar and asks, “You know where Bubba lives?”
“Sure,” says the bartender, and he gives him directions. “But you gotta be careful. Don’t honk your horn when you pull up in front of Bubba’s house.”
“Why not?” asks the salesman.
“Well, you see, about three months ago, Bubba’s wife ran off with a banjo player named Junior. And every time Bubba hears somebody honk, he’s afraid the banjo player is bringing her back.”
A drunk staggers out of a bar and into a nearby cathedral. He eventually stumbles his way down the aisle and into a confessional. After a lengthy silence, the priest asks, “May I help you, my son?”
“I dunno,” comes the drunk’s voice from behind the partition. “You got any toilet paper on your side?”
A thief breaks into a bar and is heading right for the cash register when he hears a voice behind him say, “God is watching.” He turns around, but he doesn’t see anything, so he goes back to the cash register. Again he hears, “God is watching.” So he turns around and sees a parrot over in the corner. He goes over to it and says, “What’s your name?”
“John the Baptist,” replies the bird.
“That’s a funny name for a parrot,” says the thief. “Who named you that?”
The parrot says, “My owner. The same guy who named the Rottweiler ‘God.’”
A man walked into a bar, sat down, and ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer he heard a soothing voice say, “Nice tie.” Looking around he noticed that the bar was empty except for himself and the bartender at the end of the bar. A few sips later the voice said, “Beautiful shirt.” At this, the man called the bartender over. “Hey, I must be losing my mind,” he told him. “I keep hearing these voices saying nice things, and there’s not a soul in here but us.”
“It’s the peanuts,” answered the bartender.
“Say what?”
“You heard me. It’s the peanuts…they’re complimentary.”
This guy goes into a bar and orders three separate shot glasses of Irish whiskey.
He drinks all three. He does this day after day after day, and the bartender finally says, “You know, I can put all three of those shots into one glass for you.”
The guy says, “No, I prefer it this way. See, I have two brothers—they’re over in Ireland, and I love them. This glass right here is for Finnian and this one here is for Fergus, and this one is for me. This way I can feel like we’re all here together having a drink.”
And the guy continues to come in day after day after day, and the bartender continues to set up three glasses. Then one day, the guy says, “Give me two shots today.”
“What happened? Did something happen to one of your brothers?” the bartender asks.
“No, no, no,” the guy says. “They’re okay. It’s just that I decided to quit drinking.”
Three mice walked into a bar. The first mouse had a shot of whiskey and said, “When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench-press it twenty times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese.”
The second mouse drank two shots of whiskey and said, “Yeah, well, when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it up into a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day.”
The third mouse said, “I can’t stay long. I’ve got a date with the cat.”
This old couple walk into the bar, and the husband goes over and starts flirting with some young women. And the bartender says to the wife, “Doesn’t it bother you that your husband is always making passes at the younger women around here?”
“No, no, no, not really,” the wife says. “I mean, dogs chase cars, but that doesn’t mean they know how to drive.”
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He sips it and sets it down. A monkey swings across the bar and pisses in the pint. The man asks the barman, “Who owns the monkey?” The barman indicates the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says, “Do you know your monkey pissed in my beer?” The pianist replies, “No, but if you hum it I’ll play it.”
A man walked into a bar carrying an ape in his arms. “I just bought this fella as a pet,” he explained. “We have no children, so he’s going to live with us, just like one of the family. He’ll eat at our table, even sleep in the bed with me and the wife.” “But what about the smell?” someone asked. “Oh, he’ll just have to get used to it, the same way I did.”
A cowboy walks out of a bar and a second later comes back in, mighty mad. “Okay,” he growls. “Now which one of you sidewindin’ hombres went outside an’ painted mah horse bright red while I was a-drinkin’?”
Nobody answers, and the cowpoke draws his six-shooter and yells, “I said which one of you mangy polecats painted mah horse red?!”
Slowly one of the cowboys at the bar stands up. He is six feet, nine inches tall, and he pulls a small cannon from his holster. “I done it,” he growls.
The first cowboy puts his gun back in the holster and says, “Just wanted to let you know the first coat’s dry.”
A redneck swaggers into a bar. “Hey barkeep, set me up with a cold one,” he says. Then he looks to the end of the bar and asks the bartender, “Hey, is that Jesus down there?” The barkeep nods. “Well, set him up with a cold one, too.”
As Jesus gets up to leave, he walks over to the redneck, touches him, and says, “For your kindness, you are healed!”
The redneck jumps back and exclaims, “Don’t touch me! I’m drawing disability!”
A man walks into the bar with a giraffe. He says, “A beer for me, and one for my giraffe.” And they stand around drinking for hours, until the giraffe passes out on the floor. The man pays his tab and gets up to leave, and the bartender says, “Hey! You’re not going to leave that lyin’ on the floor, are you?”
The man says, “That’s not a lion, it’s a giraffe.”
A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of drinkers. I’ll give five hundred American dollars to anybody in here who can drink ten pints of Guinness back-to-back.” The room is quiet, and no one takes the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. “Is your bet still good?” asks the Irishman. The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up ten pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all ten of the pint glasses, drinking them all back-to back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, “If ya don’t mind me askin’, where did you go for that thirty minutes you were gone?” The Irishman replies, “Oh…I went to the pub down the street to see if I could really do it.”
A man walked into a bar and sat down next to a man with a dog at his feet. “Does your dog bite?” he asked. “No,” was the reply. So he reaches down to pet the dog, and the dog bites him. “I thought you said your dog doesn’t bite!” he said. “That’s not my dog!”
Four brewery presidents walk into a bar. The guy from Corona sits down and says, “Hey, Señor, I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona.” The bartender gives it to him.
The guy from Budweiser says, “I’d like the best beer in the world. Give me ‘The King of Beers,’ a Budweiser.” The bartender gives him one.
The guy from Coors says, “I’d like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water. Give me a Coors.” He gets it.
The guy from Guinness sits down and says, “Give me a Coke.” The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.
The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, “Why aren’t you drinking a Guinness?”
The Guinness president replies, “Well, I figured if you guys aren’t drinking beer, neither would I.”
A dog walks into a bar and says, “Hey, guess what? I’m a talking dog. Ever seen a talking dog before? How about a drink for the talking dog?”
The bartender answers, “OK. The toilet’s right back there.”
A pickle walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you’re a pickle! What are you doing here?”
The pickle says, “Well, for starters, I’m celebrating the fact that I can walk.”
A priest, a rabbi, a lawyer, a redneck, a blonde, and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, “Is this some kind of joke?”
A mangy looking guy goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “No way. I don’t think you can pay for it.” The guy says, “You’re right. I don’t have any money, but if I show you something you haven’t seen before, will you give me a drink?” The bartender says, “Only if what you show me ain’t risqué.” “Deal!” says the guy, and reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the bar, and it runs to the end of the bar, down off the bar, across the room, up the piano, jumps on the keyboard, and starts playing Gershwin songs. And the hamster is really good. The bartender says, “You’re right. I’ve never seen anything like that before. That hamster is truly good on the piano.”
The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another. “Money or another miracle, else no drink,” says the bartender.
The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous voice and great pitch. A fine singer. A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog. The guy says, “It’s a deal.” He takes the $300 and gives the stranger the frog. The stranger runs out of the bar.
The bartender says to the guy, “Are you some kind of nut? You sold a singing frog for $300? It must have been worth millions.” “The frog ain’t singing,” says the guy. “The hamster is also a ventriloquist.”
A woman walked into a bar and asked for a double entendre. So the barman gave her one.
A well-dressed young businessman walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “What can I get you?” The well-dressed man replies, “I’ll have a glass of twelve-year-old Scotch.” The bartender returns with the drink. The man takes a sip, winces, and spits it out, exclaiming, “That’s ten-year-old Scotch! How dare you insult a man of my stature with inferior Scotch!” The bartender explains that the bar doesn’t carry twelve-year-old Scotch, and he had thought the man wouldn’t notice the two-year difference.
The well-dressed man next asks for fifteen-year-old bourbon. The bartender returns with the drink. The man takes a sip, winces, and spits it out, exclaiming, “That’s twelve-year-old bourbon! How dare you insult a man of my stature with inferior bourbon.” The bartender apologizes, citing his earlier explanation. The situation repeats itself regarding the well-dressed man’s next request, this time for a glass of thirty-year-old port wine.
Meanwhile, an old drunk at the end of the bar calls the bartender down and produces a glass. Handing the glass to the bartender, he says, “Give this to that well-dressed man, and tell him it’s on me.”
The bartender gives the drink to the well-dressed man, indicating the old drunk at the end of the bar. The man takes a sip, winces, and spits it out. “My Lord!” he cries. “That tastes like urine!”
“It is,” replies the old drunk. “Now tell me how old I am.”
A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. He told the bartender that the newt’s name was Tiny.
“Why?” asks the bartender.
“Because he’s my newt!”
This baby seal walks into a bar and the bartender says “What’ll ya have?”
The seal says, “Anything but a Canadian Club…”
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any Campari?”
The bartender says, “Do I have Campari! Look down here!” And he takes him to the basement and there’s a hundred cases of Campari.
“Boy, you must sell a lot of Campari.”
“No, but the man who sells me Campari—he sells a lot of Campari.”
A penguin walked into a bar and said, “Has my father been in here today?”
The bartender said, “I don’t know. What does he look like?”
A man walks into a bar and says, “I know the sign says ‘No Smoking’ but would you mind if I smoke in here?”
“It’s okay with me. Just make sure you put the lit end into your mouth.”
A man walked out of the bar and got in his car and a policeman came over.
“Sir, your eyes seem to be bloodshot. Have you been drinking?”
“Officer, your eyes seem to be glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?”
A cowboy is sitting at a bar. A guy came and sat next to him and looked at the cowboy hat and asked, ‘Are you a real cowboy?”
The cowboy replied, “Yes, I believe I am a real cowboy. I spend my day riding around on a horse, looking after cattle and sleeping under the stars.”
Later, a girl came and sat next to him and asked, “Are you a real cowboy?”
“Yes, I spend my entire day riding around on the range looking after horses and cattle, I suppose I am a cowboy. What about you? What are you?”
“I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. I get up in the morning, I have a shower and I think about women, I have breakfast and I think about women, I go to work and I think about women.”
Ten minutes later, another guy comes and sits next to the cowboy and asks, “Are you a real cowboy?”
“Well, ten minutes ago I thought I was.”
A man walked into the bar and ordered a drink, and the bartender said, “I thought you quit drinking.”
“No, I just wanted to cut my drinking in half, so I joined A.”
An Irishman walked into a bar, and there was a little brass lamp at the end of the bar. He touched it, and a genie came out and gave him three wishes. He said, “Ah, faith! I wish for a bottle of Guinness that will never run dry.” Poof! A bottle appears, and he drinks it, and holds it up and it magically fills itself up again. He drinks it down, it refills again, then the genie asks, “And what are your other two wishes?”
“Just give me two more like this one.”