What’s an accountant’s idea of trashing his hotel room?
Refusing to fill out the guest comment card.
An accountant was passing a beggar in the street, and the man said, “I have not eaten for three days.” The accountant replied, “How does that compare with the same period last year”?
The accountant couldn’t get to sleep so he tried counting sheep. But then he made a mistake and it took him all night to find it.
The old accountant retired after fifty years, and in the top drawer of his desk they found a note that said: “Debits in the column toward the file cabinet. Credits in the column toward the window.”
A man wrote a letter to the IRS: “I have been unable to sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I understated my taxable income and have enclosed a check for $150. If I still can’t sleep, I will send the rest.”
A kid swallowed a coin and it got stuck in his throat. His mother yelled for help. A man passing by hit him in the small of the back, and the coin came out.
“I don’t know how to thank you, Doctor…,” his mother started.
“I’m not a doctor,” the man replied, “I’m from the IRS.”
Two accountants are in a bank when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line up the customers, including the accountants, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on, the first accountant jams something into the second accountant’s hand. Without looking down, the second accountant whispers, “What is this?” To which the first accountant replies, “It’s that $50 I owe you.”