*Once Bobbie went home, Hadley checked on her daughter, then broke her rule and poured herself a glass of wine. She went back to the front porch. It was dark now and quiet. Up and down the street, lights glowed in only a few windows. Hadley took a sip of her wine and willed her muscles to relax.
She’d been running from her past. And now it had caught up to her.
The year was 2018 and Hadley was sitting at the bar in a pub overlooking Osoyoos Lake. It was a hot, sultry night and she was wearing a strapless mini dress and her favorite wedge sandals. Up on stage Luke and the band were singing a rowdy drinking tune that had packed the dance floor. Among the dancers was a pretty blonde woman who was either high or drunk or possibly both.
Based on the eye contact between her and Luke, Hadley knew they’d be spending the night together.
It had happened before. One month ago, to be precise. In Kamloops.
“Babe, I love you, but I never made you any promises. And I don’t expect any promises from you.”
Like that was some sort of big concession. She didn’t want to sleep with anyone else. She’d left her life, dropped out of school, ditched a great boyfriend, to be with him. And in the beginning, it had been great. He’d been crazy about her. Made her part of the band. Sure, all she did was sing some backup and play the tambourine. But she was eye candy he told the other guys. And while they weren’t exactly enthusiastic, gradually they’d come to accept her.
But the last few months he’d been inviting her on stage less and less. Tonight, she’d only been included for the first set. Then the blonde had caught his eye and Luke suggested she “take a break.”
She should not be putting up with this crap. Hadley knew this. But what were her choices? Go back home and admit to her mother that she’d been right all along?
God no.
She signaled the bartender for another gin and tonic. And that was when she noticed a table of four guys on the other side of the room. They were getting up to leave when one of them happened to glance in her direction.
Wavy dark hair, medium height, great shoulders. It was Jesse.
He froze for a second, so she knew he’d spotted her too.
Quickly she checked out the others in his party. He was with Rene LaPierre, Dean Kavanaugh, and one other guy she recognized from Tangle Falls. Feeling the heat rise in her face, she turned her back to them, hoping Rene didn’t notice her, because if he did, he would make a huge production of it.
Be quiet Jesse. Just leave quietly and forget you ever saw me.
But even as she had this thought, a part of her yearned for the opposite. For Jesse to come to her. She had never missed him as much as she did in that instant. Jesse would never treat a woman the way Luke was treating her. She’d been an idiot. She’d chosen the wrong man.
She set her unfinished drink on the counter and slipped off her seat. She would go for a walk and then she’d sleep in the van tonight. She didn’t want to risk running into Luke and the blonde at the motel where everyone from the band was staying. Before exiting, she stopped in the restroom, giving Jesse and his friends plenty of time to leave before she did.
But when she finally stepped out into the hot humid night, Jesse was waiting.
“I thought it was you,” he said.
She froze. “Where are the others?”
“Heading back to the hotel lounge for a nightcap. We’re staying at the Watermark. Boys golfing weekend.”
“Did you tell them—?”
“I’d seen you? No. I just said I needed a walk to clear my head.”
She nodded. She kept snatching glances at him, not daring to stare though that was exactly what she longed to do. He looked so good. Maturity sat well on him. She couldn’t believe it had been over fifteen years since she’d last seen him.
“Mom tells me you married Fallon. That you have twin boys.”
“Morley and Malcolm. Yeah. They’re great.”
Jesse sounded as nervous as she felt. This moment was so awkward. And yet neither of them did anything to end it.
“You waited for me.”
He swallowed. “Couldn’t believe it was really you. I mean, I did recognize the band once we sat down. They’ve changed the name?”
“They’ve gone through a few iterations over the years.”
“Right. Well, when I didn’t see you on stage, I figured maybe you’d broken off with…the band. Then I was surprised to see you at the bar.”
“Luke and I are going through a difficult stage right now. Possibly we’ll be breaking up.” Admitting it as much to herself as to Jesse, she added, “More like, probably.” And then, because this was not a subject she should be talking about with him, and she was afraid he was going to offer sympathy she did not deserve and did not want, she asked if he wanted to walk for a bit.
“Sure.”
They fell into step on the Osoyoos beach walk, the lights of the town on one side, the calm lapping lake on the other. Hadley slipped off her sandals and let her toes sink into the warm sand.
“Do you remember…”
It was like stepping back in time. They were kids again, reliving their glory days, and they had so many of them. By mutual accord neither of them mentioned anything that had happened before they turned eighteen. What felt like fifteen minutes later—but her phone told her it had been at least an hour—they ended up outside the motel where the band was staying.
“This is me,” Hadley said, indicating the van in the parking lot.
“You don’t have a room?”
She shrugged. “Not tonight.”
“I see.”
Cringing with the embarrassment of it all, Hadley pulled out her set of keys and pressed the unlock button. Jesse followed her to the side door and slid it open. Out wafted the scent of stale coffee, snacks and grungy body odor. He glanced inside, then looked back at her.
“Had. You deserve better.”
In the glow of a streetlamp, she could see his eyes, and through them, into the soul of the boy she had loved.
He brushed a finger along her jawline to her chin. “You are still the most beautiful thing.”
“Ah, Jesse.” She wanted to be that girl again, the girl who had been his. She leaned into him and met his kiss, which started tender but progressed to hot in mere seconds.
“Come inside. The seats recline.”
Because they’d dated as teenagers, they had a lot of experience making love in awkward spaces. And they were good at it. After, she wrapped her arms around him and inhaled his familiar scent. Don’t go, she wanted to beg. But as their bodies cooled, she could feel him tensing.
“Oh my God, I’m a jerk.”
She pressed a finger to his lips. “No. You’re a good man Jesse. Go home to your wife and kids. We’ll never talk about what happened tonight. It never happened.”
*
“It honestly never occurred to me that Madison might be your daughter,” she’d told Jesse at the cemetery earlier that evening. They’d crossed the boundary into the forest and were sitting on a fallen log. In the fading light, not looking at each other, it was easier to talk. “After the night we spent together and the things you said…you know, about me deserving better?”
He gave her a look. “Yeah.”
“It was the kick in the ass I needed. I gave Luke an ultimatum and it must have scared him because for a while he started treating me nice again. He wrote a new song and dedicated it to me. He was really romantic.”
She paused, remembering those days wistfully. They’d been the last truly happy and carefree times she could remember. “The rest of the summer went by in a blur. The band had booked so many gigs and we were always on the move. It was almost Thanksgiving before I realized I was pregnant.”
“And you never thought to count back the days?”
“No. I didn’t. One night? It didn’t seem possible. Plus, we’d made that pact, agreed it never happened.”
“We agreed not to talk about it. But it happened, Hadley.”
“I know,” she said softly.
He sighed heavily. “What did you do when you realized you were pregnant?”
“Luke was not happy about the news. He didn’t want to be a father and he wanted me to abort. I loved him but I couldn’t do that. So…I left. I moved to Vancouver Island, got a job at a café and met a couple other single moms. We helped each other. And it worked, for a while.”
“When I heard you’d had a baby, it didn’t occur to me either that I could be the father. Then I saw Madison’s birthdate on her day home registration form. I did the math and I realized it was possible.” There was genuine anguish on his face when he turned to her. “I need to know. If she’s mine, I need to know.”
“I’m ninety-nine percent sure she’s Luke’s.” Madison looked so much like her side of the family, but there were times when Hadley definitely saw traces of Luke. Or was that just wishful thinking?
“Would you be willing to do a paternity test?”
“Are you sure you want to go that route? What if Madison is yours?”
“Then I’d want to be part of her life. And help support her, of course.”
“You’d be risking your marriage. Your family.” She’d a thousand times prefer Madison have Jesse for a father than Luke. But not if it created a scandal and the end of Jesse’s marriage. Everyone in town would take sides and the fallout would affect all the children. She could not let her innocent Madison pay the price for her mother’s mistakes.
Jesse buried his face in his hands. “I know. Believe me, I know. It would kill me if Fallon wouldn’t forgive me. But I hope that eventually she would. And that she’d accept my responsibility for Madison.”
And to think she’d been worried Jesse wanted to start up with her again. Clearly, he loved his wife very much. “If you’re sure, then yes, I’ll agree to the paternity test.”
“Thank you.” He took one of her hands and pressed it between his. “I already ordered one online. It’s in my truck. Once you mail it in, we’ll get the results in three to five business days.”
Three to five business days?
Hadley almost threw up. But then she followed Jesse to his truck.