| |
––––––––
It was now April and Amit hated the weather. The nice cool breeze of the spring that he loved had disappeared. A sudden gust of hot air slapped his face when he came out of the metro station. As was his daily routine by now, he slowly climbed the 11 floors upstairs to his office, breaking into a sweat as the stairwell was not air-conditioned, and grabbed his seat.
Suddenly he could hear everyone rejoicing. Apparently they had all just got a raise. Puzzled Amit checked his online bank account but saw that it was the same amount as was there the last month. Was there an error, he wondered.
He thought he should speak to the accounts department first. They told him that nothing appeared to be wrong. So Amit spoke to Vaishali, the HR Partner. She told him that there were, maybe, some performance linked issues in his case but nothing was communicated to her in writing. She also confirmed that except for him and Naina, everyone had got a raise. Amit’s heart sank.
He returned to his cubicle and saw Naina sitting at her desk. She was lying with her head on the table and he couldn’t see her eyes. Her body language signalled that something was wrong. Amit suspected what that was and didn’t dare broach the topic.
More days passed by. Naina continued to retain her sad and morose looks. Then one morning, Amit mustered the courage to speak to her. He asked her to join him for a conversation on the staircase and she reluctantly got up. Her eyes were sad and he noticed dark circles forming beneath them.
“You don’t look your normal self. What’s the matter?” asked Amit.
Naina took a deep breath. She didn’t speak for a few moments.
“I didn’t get a raise. I was told that I wasn’t disciplined enough to follow deadlines,” Naina said as if she was about to cry.
He didn’t know what to say. There was nothing he could do for her professionally. So he just opened his arms and gave her a hug to give her some comfort. Naina snuggled in and they both hugged each other for a moment. Then she too noticed something.
His eyes. They weren’t glittering. That enthusiasm he carried to the workplace was gone. As usual, he had a warm smile but she could make out that that was forced. Something was bothering Amit too from within. He wasn’t showing his emotions, but how could he? He was a man after all.
“What’s wrong?” asked Naina.
“Even I didn’t get a raise,” said Amit.
“What?” Her face became stern. “Did they tell you the reasons?” asked Naina.
“No, I wasn’t told anything,” Amit replied.
Naina didn’t say a word and returned to her desk.
***
The next morning, the moment Amit reached office, Naina signalled him to come outside. She told him that she needed to speak to him urgently. Both moved to the staircase. The sun was bright hot and the sky had turned white in colour. It was extremely windy, especially at that altitude at the 11th floor. Amit’s hair was dishevelled immediately and Naina’s aanchal or the end of her sari flew uncontrollably. In another month or so, this hot wind would be known as loo in Hindi and could give you a heat stroke if you were exposed to it for even 30 minutes.
“I spoke to Smriti yesterday. I asked her specifically why you were denied a raise,” said Naina.
Amit looked surprised.
“She told me that you didn’t deliver the underwriting agreement on time which almost cost the firm its reputation. Now tell me what happened exactly? Is this true?” asked Naina.
There was disbelief in her tone. He knew that she didn’t buy his boss’ story.
“Not at all. I had finished the agreement on time. I knew she was involved in the negotiation process, so I asked her to review the document one final time before I sent it out. She told me that the document needed reworking and that she will handle that matter from thereon,” said Amit.
“Did Mr. Ram Kapoor know all this?” asked Naina.
Amit paused for a moment.
“I am not so sure. I didn’t mark him a copy because he doesn’t much like reading first drafts. Maybe Smriti told him,” said Amit.
“I don’t think so. So you have been blamed for this debacle and not Smriti. It sounds all too familiar. My boss did the same thing to me when I was in Shah & Shah. Smriti is a dangerous woman,” said Naina.
It suddenly hit Amit like a ton of bricks. He didn’t realise how he had been made a fool of. How his boss had stabbed him in his back. How she had betrayed his trust.
Amit knew that Smriti was emotionally unstable and broke down too often. She had mood swings too but he didn’t anticipate that she would take out her revenge by destroying him. How did he not see it coming? Why did he trust her so much in the first place?
“I knew something was wrong. If someone misses deadlines, it cannot be you. I am at least sure of that,” said Naina.
“Thank you so much. You have done more for me that I could have ever done for you,” Amit didn’t know what more to say.
“I suggest you change your team. Talk to the Managing Partner. Never work for this woman ever again,” said Naina.
“I think you are right. I don’t want to give her the power to ruin my future this way, if I can help it,” said Amit.
“Let’s move to the shade,” said Naina.
Both moved to a shaded area in the staircase to avoid the wind and the sun. It was slightly cooler there and both heaved a sigh of relief.
“I actually hate working with bosses. It is too much of a restriction on my independence,” said Naina. A smile was returning to her face.
“Yah, me too. It is too much of an emotional drain to try to please your bosses all the time, to understand their moods and motivations. I’m very bad with these things. And on top of that, it is they who decide how you work, where you work, whether you have been a good boy or a bad one and the worst part is that they get to even dictate your career path,” said Amit.
“What would you do if you were your own boss?” asked Naina.
“Me? I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it. I love writing and acting; so maybe I would have pursued something creative,” answered Amit.
“Yah. I know. I somehow figured that you are an artist at heart. So, why did you not follow your heart? How did you end up being a lawyer?” asked Naina.
Amit paused. He was stumped for a moment.
“I don’t know. I thought writing or acting was a hobby and that no one could pursue a hobby as a profession. Plus I think you cannot make a living that way. On the other hand, corporate law is where all the money is. How about you? Why did you choose to be a lawyer?” asked Amit.
“More or less the same reason as yours. My father is a businessman and he owns a coffee estate in Coorg. Few of my cousins are corporate lawyers rolling in money. So, yeah, following corporate law was somehow a natural career path for me too,” said Naina.
“What would you do if you weren’t a lawyer?” asked Amit.
“Me. Never thought about it. May be a fashion designer,” said Naina.
“And what makes you think you will be a good one,” said Amit.
“Umm... I love studying fashion. In my spare time I love drawing and sketching. I have a good understanding of garments. And oh yes, I have strong sewing skills. I learnt knitting sweaters too when I was young. It was one of the most pleasurable things of my life,” Naina said.
Both chatted on. They were so immersed in their exchange of views that they forgot about the heat.
***
Present Day, November 2013....
Amit woke up with a start. He didn’t know when he had dozed off. He got up from his chair and started pacing up and down.
So why did he never think of pursuing his dreams with the passion and seriousness that they deserved? Why was he wasting his time flitting from one corporate law firm to another? Why was he running from one interview to the other trying to fool his potential bosses that he was the best fit for them? That he had fire in his belly when he clearly didn’t. Who was he trying to cheat? Ultimately himself.
There was a story running in his mind for quite some time. Why didn’t he write it down? He had heard about indie or independent publishing and how technology now enabled writers to publish their works all by themselves and sell it on Amazon, Nook, Kobo, iBooks, Google Play, etc. Why wasn’t he doing that? If he preferred being with nature, then why didn’t he move to some remote Himalayan town and wrote something down on his laptop while watching the lake, birds, fir trees, and snow covered mountain tops...
Time had come to take his career in his own hands. And for this, he could only thank Naina. Her conversation had opened up a new world of thinking for him.
His BlackBerry beeped. A message had arrived in. It brought a smile to his face. The message was from Naina. She had responded to him after almost a year.
“Yah. I have got cold. Not too well :(,” Naina wrote.
He took a sigh of relief. It was nothing serious as he had feared.
“Strange icon. Funny girl, lol! What’s up?” he wrote.
“Nothing. Hectic shopping. Sis wedding in Goa. Dance classes. Nothing much,” she wrote.
“Are you in Delhi?” he wrote.
“Yup,” she wrote.
“Why not meet? Next week? Sunday?” he wrote.
No reply came. He waited for days but she didn’t reply. Amit thought Naina had moved on. She was a very outgoing girl and may have found someone more compatible. Someone who was as fun loving. Just like her.
She had obviously outgrown him. This wasn’t the first time this had happened. He was accustomed to that. And he accepted it as a normal part of his life without feeling disappointed. Who knew what lay ahead in life for him? Maybe he too will find someone else someday.
