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Anuj remained friends with Amrita but the relationship didn’t grow any further.
Then one day he met another girl, Ankita. Why all the girl names in his college started with an “A” and ended with an “A,” he wondered.
Anuj remembered that day vividly. He was browsing through some books in the library and had just located the one he was looking for. The book was a little dusty as if it hadn’t been opened in a while. Maybe for months. Or maybe for years.
Anuj was allergic to dust. He felt his nose becoming watery and heavy. And then Aa-chee. Aa-chuu. He started sneezing. Incessantly. Making all kinds of noises. Anuj’s eyes watered so much that everything appeared hazy around him. He was alternating between patting his eyes with his handkerchief and then covering his nose but to no avail.
Anuj had to grab the nearest seat and sit down, before he could check out the book he was holding. All this while covering his nose with a handkerchief.
A girl was sitting on the other side and she smiled at him. Anuj had to smile back.
“That’s a rare book you are holding,” she almost complimented Anuj.
“Thanks,” was all a startled Anuj could muster.
“By the way, I’m Ankita. And you?”
“I’m Anuj.”
Ankita was wearing a nose piercing on the left side. Her hair was dark, long and curly. She wore a tight T-shirt, which exposed half of her belly, paired with low rise jeans. She was no stunner but the effervescent way in which she had addressed Anuj attracted him.
That started it and before they knew the library had become a place for “casual dating” where they could meet and gossip in hush tones. Till the angry glares of other users would chase them to the lawns outside.
Everything was going well till one fine morning Ankita asked him if Anuj had any siblings. And he had replied casually that he had none except for a cousin who was a professional singer in Mumbai and who he was very fond of.
Anuj also let her name slip away: Nisha Sharma.
Ankita was beside herself in excitement. She told him how she too nursed a secret desire to be a singer one day. Nothing wrong with the aspiration; except that whenever they met now, it was only about singing and Nisha Sharma.
Ankita’s talk was now always about breaking in, in the Bollywood music industry. How difficult it was to make a career as a singer? And how you needed to have connections for that.
Almost hinting that Anuj spoke to Nisha about her.
In the beginning it sounded normal. Okay, somewhat child-like. But soon Anuj had this uncomfortable feeling that Ankita wanted to be friends with him only because he was related to Nisha Sharma. And that he could somehow help her make a career in the Bollywood music industry.
As Ankita’s frustration grew with Anuj’s inability to give her a reference, their friendship took a U-turn. Ankita’s talk became more or less only about making connections. That those who succeed—succeeded only because they knew the right people. That being talented or learning your craft was less important than using connections.
Anuj slowly started feeling guilty that he wasn’t doing enough for Ankita. Was she making him feel that way? Or was he the one being oversensitive?
And then one day, she finally said it. She accused him of not helping her in any sort of way. Of being useless—despite being so close to Nisha Sharma.
Anuj understood it was all over. He parted ways with Ankita. Gently.
It was then that he noticed Supriya who was in his own class. Thank God, her name started with an “S” for a change. She was a good one inch taller than Anuj’s five-seven height. She had a nice curvaceous body, but most boys in his college called her “fat.”
To Anuj, she looked pretty normal. Definitely not skinny—the “model type” others seemed to prefer. She was bubbly but very different from Amrita. Her brown eyes would sparkle with joy at the most inane of topics. When she walked and spoke, she exuded an air of sophistication. Her demeanour somehow reminded Anuj of Angelina Jolie’s character in Lara Croft.
Supriya’s favourite dish was “Keema-Paratha” (minced lamb stuffed in a fried unleavened Indian bread) and “Rogan Josh” or red lamb-curry. As Anuj joked that was the secret of her “health.”
Supriya wasn’t diplomatic. Once she told Anuj on his face that she had never heard him speak in the first year, and that’s why she hadn’t noticed him!
She claimed that he caught her attention only when the first year results came out and when she noticed that Anuj had scored the highest grades in his class. Her attitude soon swung to the other extreme. She now started spending more time with him. Getting to know him. His likes, dislikes et al.
She then wanted Anuj to help her with studies. Anuj considered that an honour. Together they would sit on the college bench sharing notes for hours.
In a change of flavour, Supriya would sometimes share some interesting moments with Anuj. She once told him that her elder sister was statuesque, almost a six-footer, and how she was struggling to find a boyfriend taller than her!
Together they would laugh for hours. Anuj could notice a few of his colleagues staring at him. He silently enjoyed the attention as he knew he was making them jealous.
Supriya’s demeanour had changed totally. She was now full of admiration for Anuj. She even defended him when others called him a “bookworm.” Anuj was touched. There was something genuinely warm and sincere about Supriya that was missing when he was “dating” either Amrita or Ankita.
Anuj noticed how Supriya’s eye colour would change suddenly. It would be brown one day and light grey the next. He suspected she wore some fancy contact lenses to achieve that effect. And he was right!
Supriya finally revealed her secret. She admitted that her eyesight was weak, and she had to wear thick glasses at home. Anuj was touched because never ever had she revealed this side of her to anyone else.
But Supriya bowled him over when she not only remembered Anuj’s birthday but had also ordered a cake for their entire class. She sure knew how to make him feel special.
And then the Gala Graduation Dinner night arrived. All were asked to dress formally. It was March and spring time in Delhi. The evening breeze was cool.
Anuj had worn a black suit with a jazzy red tie. Supriya had worn a shiny sky blue sari that dazzled against the dark evening sky. Her sari changed colours depending upon the lighting. Sometimes it looked a shiny blue and sometimes a deep purple. She looked so beautiful, so mature. She had kept her long black hair open. Her smile was as warm as ever. Anuj remembered how he could not take his eyes off her.
But that night was also the last time he could speak to her.
After graduation, Supriya just disappeared. Her mobile would not respond. And she never called Anuj from any other number.
Anuj was bewildered. As far as he remembered, he’d said nothing obnoxious. Nothing whatsoever. Then why had her behaviour changed so suddenly after graduation?
Then it hit him like a ton of bricks. Supriya wanted to be friends with him only because he used to get good grades. That purpose was over after graduation.
In the first year, she was indifferent to his existence. In the second and the third year, when Anuj was topping his class regularly, she was overtly friendly. And now after graduation, she was back to square one.
Anuj couldn’t think of any other possible explanation.
What happened to that warm smile? To those days when they shared so much sitting on a bench? That day when they had celebrated his birthday together? Was it all a grand chimera, an elaborate lie?
Anuj felt used. It seemed like the world didn’t care about genuine relationships. It was always: What’s in it for me?
People valued friendships only if it got them something in return—riches, sex, good grades or a career. Where was that kind of love that Nisha had talked about and experienced first-hand?
Just then, Anuj noticed a man, who was more than six feet tall. He had big broad shoulders and a nicely defined chest which was bulging out from his well-fitting T-shirt. The hunk was walking around with two girls with his arms resting behind their backs. Anuj observed his carefree nature. He knew the man was there only for a casual fling and nothing else. But funnily, the women didn’t seem to mind.
Anuj felt something was wrong with him. Was looking for depth and meaning in relationships wrong? Was he weird? He’d started to feel like an alien in this unfamiliar world.
He wished he was a “normal” person. A person who didn’t much care about deeper relationships. A person who believed that life is a train and that everyone is a passenger on board to have some good time while the train moved. Some casual chats but nothing more than that. Sooner or later, their stations would come and they would alight—never ever to meet again.
Sadly, Anuj was hard-wired differently. No matter how hard he tried, he realised he couldn’t change himself. He realised that the world was a selfish place and his heart too precious to be broken again. So there was no point in emotionally investing in ANYONE.
Deeply disappointed, he vowed. A man who once was looking for everlasting love, swore that he shall never fall in love. He’ll focus now only on his post-graduate studies and career. Relentlessly. Without any distractions and disturbances.
Soon Anuj got an offer from the prestigious University College London to study for a three year degree in law. He closed his eyes and dreamed off studying in a far off land. A pleasant green land where the sun was never hot, that hot that it could burn you. And the breeze was always cold and pleasant. He looked forward to visiting a new place, meeting new people. And saying goodbye to the harsh north Indian summers at least for some time.
